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”What can I get you today?” Till said the same sentence he asks around 50 times a day in a monotone voice. His shift just started an hour ago and he already had no energy anymore. He stayed up late, rewriting the lyrics of their newest song, and he was so engrossed in making it perfect he only noticed how much time had passed when the birds started chirping.
The grey-haired hoped the customer in front of him won’t try to start some small talk, he really wasn’t in the mood for that. Luckily, the customer, who turned out to be some tall black haired guy, was busy teasing the girl next to him. She looked much shorter and younger but still had the same black hair, perhaps his sister? Till wasn’t eavesdropping but it seemed like the guy was teasing her about a crush of hers, until the girl noticed it was their turn and interrupted the guy by loudly placing their order.
“One black coffee and one.. strawberry milkshake with whipped cream..” The black haired leaned down to whisper something in her ear. “..and extra sprinkles, I guess. Thanks,”
Till nodded, typing in their order. Was the strawberry milkshake the guy’s order? Seriously? It didn’t look like him at all. His tall frame, and his style consisting of black, high quality clothing, with brand logos Till recognised as famous and expensive, didn’t match his order at all.
“That will be $12.89, please. Cash or card?” He looked up at the strange pair again to find the guy staring at him intensely. He had big bug eyes that were such a dark shade that there was no reflection in them. Till felt a shiver going down his spine. That guy was getting weirder and weirder..
The taller guy slammed his card onto the counter, pushing it towards Till with too much excitement. “Card. And take $30, keep the rest.” He exclaimed, staring at the grey haired. What reaction was he expecting?
“Thanks.. order coming right up” Till hesitantly took the card. Did he pity him? Was it so visible on him that he was barely surviving, having to balance between college, band practice and mini job? Well that was humiliating. Maybe he can cover his eye bags with makeup during his break. As much as he appreciated a tip, since he needed it, the intention was also very important to him, and he hated getting pitied, especially if it’s by some fancy dressed siblings.
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From that day on, the black-haired weirdo stopped by almost every day, as if he just discovered the greatest cafe on campus. And it’s not like he had a favourite order he wanted every time. The guy was actually mostly unprepared when Till asked him about his order, often just glancing at the menu and picking the first thing his eyes fell on. But he always tipped generously, so Till couldn’t really complain. That still didn’t make him turn a blind eye to that weird ass behaviour, which often made him feel stalked.
The guy started bringing a girl along sometimes. Long pink hair, flashy clothes and just a bright energy. Everyone on campus liked Mizi, and Till was no exception. So whenever Ivan—he heard the girl call him that once—brings her along, it feels like Till was given a chance to shoot his shot and get closer to her. Apparently Ivan noticed that, because then he stopped bringing her with him as frequently. Aw man.
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“… and because my brother is back in town, he invited me to stay at his apartment. I won’t even have to pay rent.”
”Are you serious?” Till looked up from his phone, making eye contact with his friend who shrugged his shoulders with an awkward smile.
“I’m really sorry. You’re a great roommate but he said no rent man.. I couldn’t say no to this. Plus I missed him and wanna spend some time with him.” Acorn mumbled awkwardly before resting his hand on Till’s shoulder, urging him to keep walking. They had just finished the last lecture this Friday.
Till groaned, dropping his head forward as they walked to their dorm. “Amazing way to start the weekend.” He rubbed his eyes with a sigh. He wasn’t really mad at Acorn, it’s just that… “..I’ll be all alone. I already barely have any friends, you were the only one I spent a lot of time with.. beside Hyuna and Hyunwoo.. But cmon, we were roommates.”
The brown haired let out a quiet laugh. “Don’t be too negative. You’ll find another roommate, plus it’s not like I will stop coming to college. We still share a lot of lectures. I’ll just spend my nights somewhere else. Besides, the fancy black haired you told me about sounds interested in getting to know you, why not become friends?”
“Yeah, I guess..” Till glanced to the side, before processing Acorn’s words and snapping his head back at him. “This weirdo? No way, I’m not becoming friends with some rich guy called Ivan that only hangs out with girls.. besides I’m still bitter that he seems close to Mizi..”
Acorn stopped walking, causing the grey haired to do the same and look back in confusion. “Ivan, you said?” His friend asked, frantically taking out his phone “does he have black hair that he styles all the time and mainly wears black clothes? With a little snuggle tooth that is visible when he smiles?”
Till nodded hesitantly, curiously looking at Acorn’s phone who seemed to be searching up something before looking up at the latter with wide eyes. “Dude, you’re talking about THE Ivan? The famous model from a rich family, who basically is the university’s whole pride because he decided to do his economy major here, and who also is a successful figure skater?? And you call HIM a weirdo? He is awesome!”
Till’s face went blank. So all this time, the famous model of the campus he only heard rumours about, was the one who was basically stalking him? Should he feel lucky or cursed? “No wonder he always tipped so generously..”
Acorn was still in disbelief that his friend didn’t know that Ivan was interested in him. “You gotta use the chance. Bro, your wallet will be stuffed with cash in no time!”
“And don’t forget to keep some for me, yeah?” He added with a bright sheepish smile, earning a glare from Till.
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“Wanna be my roommate?” Till realised what he had blurted out too late, the words had already escaped his mouth.
And Ivan, who was about to order his favourite strawberry milkshake, froze in his place, his smile faltering and his eyes unfocusing. He looked stupid.
It had been a week since Acorn moved out of their dorm, and Till has been desperate to find a new roommate he can share the rent with. But everyone that came in question had already a place to stay, which made him more and more desperate, picking more shifts to try and cover it until he found a new solution. But things didn’t go his way, which ended up with him here, exhausted, desperate and blunt.
Ivan wasn’t a bad option, Till’s financial issues might be cured, but why would THE Ivan agree to become Till’s roommate? It must be an insult to such a rich kid to move in with some loser, but then again, he did give Till some attention, so maybe there was a chance? However, Till reminded himself, he would rather starve on the street than depend on somebody’s help. Especially if money was involved.
“R..Really?” The black haired stuttered like a stupid kid before quickly nodding. “Of course! I’d love to!” It was too late to take things back. But it went well, so Till will let it be
for now. He will see how it goes.
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Ivan was actually a better roommate than Till expected. He was responsible for himself, always keeping his side clean, unlike himself and Acorn, which made Till feel a bit bad. Ivan paid half of the rent without being asked to, and always took care of the groceries. Neither Acorn or himself are great cooks, so it was a pleasant change when Till found himself always smelling dinner when he entered the dorm every day.
And he had some qualities that made him a nice person to be around. Wasn’t overly dramatic and out of touch with the world, like Till expected from such a rich kid, and it seemed like he was empathetic and actually cared. For example when Till would wake up with a blanket over his shoulders after falling asleep while working on his song, or when Till’s clothes would be folded on his bed. He wasn’t boring either and Till, as much as he hates to admit, liked spending time with him.
It was honestly impressive that Ivan managed to be a smart student, great figure skater, stay in touch with his big friend group and also spend time with Till while taking care of their shared dorm, and still never looked exhausted. The grey haired was a bit jealous, but he would never admit that.
What Till liked the most was that Ivan always minded his business. He didn’t look through Till’s stuff or ask too intimate questions, nor did he obsessively ask him where he was and where he came from and where he was going and when he will be coming back, which was Till’s biggest fear. It’s not everyday that you share a dorm with a model, and Till was a bit afraid of judgement, which quickly resolved when Ivan turned out to be an unserious person.
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“I’m heading out. Band practice.” Till called as he adjusted his guitar bag on his back, glancing at Ivan who was reading some complicated looking book. Fits him, honestly. But then the latter quickly shut the book, looking up with excitement. “Can I come along? Please?”
Till thought about it. It was the first time he was going to meet Hyuna and Hyunwoo since Ivan moved in with him. It was during mid terms when the black haired entered his life and Till’s band had paused practice for a while. So he was actually happy to meet the siblings again, and didn’t really want a stranger around. But then again, his life improved more and won a structure since Ivan became his roommate, so Till owed him too much to just be rude and say no.
“Sure” he shrugged his shoulders, “Hurry up though, I’m not waiting for you.”
Ivan’s face lit up as he quickly went to his wardrobe to change his clothes. It was childish of Ivan to be so happy about such a normal thing, Till believed, but it was also nice to watch, so he kept his snarky comment to himself.
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The way to the studio felt long. Although it actually wasn’t—Till always went by foot since it was a 10 minutes walk when you leave the campus— but his companion’s yapping made it feel like they were migrating to another country. Ivan couldn’t shut up about the fact that Till being in a band was so cool and how Ivan grew up playing the piano and only classical songs, which made him excited to see what kind of style the band has, and how Till is probably the best guitarist in the world and how he should play back for Ivan at home too instead of just composing songs by drawing notes, and how Ivan admired musically intelligent and talented people and and and— It’s not like Till hated it, Ivan rarely talked so much, but it was weird to see someone so excited about something that was a part of his daily life for him, and he didn’t know how to react to the glazing either.
“Here it is, the others are probably waiting”, Till finally said as they crossed the street, trying to not sound too relieved. When they entered the place, the woman who sat behind the counter at the entrance smiled at Till. “The twins already rented a room. It’s number 8 today, have fun.”
Till waved and nodded, making his way to the last room in the long hallway he walked in so many times before, not waiting for Ivan who was probably looking left and right like he was born yesterday. Was it really a good idea to bring him?
“Till!” The two other members were already playing but then stopped at his sight. “Heyyy, long time to see! So glad the exams are over.” Hyunwoo dabbed him up while Hyuna curiously looked at the guest who was standing at the door. “I see you brought somebody with you?”
“Oh yeah” Till laughed awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck as he set the guitar bag down. “My roommate, Ivan. He was very excited when I mentioned I’m coming here and wanted to see how it is. I hope that’s fine with y’all? Sorry I didn’t tell beforehand.”
Hyuna shook her head, a bright smile appearing on her face. “No worries. Come on in, superstar. You can sit on the chair here, don’t mind my jacket.” She pointed at a chair next to the door, where Ivan instantly sat, hands in his lap as he inspected all of them with his big bug eyes. That damn look again.
Meanwhile, Till had already his guitar hanging off his shoulder and his sheets in front of him. He glanced in Ivan’s direction. “Hyunwoo is our drummer and Hyuna is our bassist and singer. Her voice is amazing, don’t fall over.” He teased, finally loosening up for the first time that evening.
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“Thank you thank you” Hyunwoo bowed down when they finally finished for that evening, pretending there was a crowd in front of him, and Ivan instantly took that as a sign to start clapping, earning a sheepish smile from the brown haired. “This was… breathtaking! You have a big future, guys.”
“Aw stawpppp” Hyuna waved off, pretending to be shy. Till looked the other way to hide the blush creeping up his neck. He was never good with receiving compliments.
“No seriously, do you have any performances?” Ivan stood up, standing between Hyuna and Hyunwoo, looking at all of them. None of them replied, Hyunwoo only let out a low laugh that was close to a sigh. “Unfortunately not, none of us really knows where to start. And most bars and restaurants said we are too unknown, y’know?”
Ivan looked in disbelief at them before whipping his phone from his pocket. “That’s the only issue? I’ll take care of that, my connections will come in handy. Soon you’ll have a couple of restaurants and bars to perform at and a line of events to attend.”
Hyuna raised her eyebrows, throwing her arm around his shoulder and looking at his phone. “Really dude? Thanks! We will keep the VIP seat for you, trust me.”
This was great news for them, they might get the chance to become known, so why did Till feel uneasy and bothered by that..?
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Till somehow regrets having brought Ivan with him to the band practice a month ago, because the way things changed after that didn’t please him at all. He disliked the way Ivan started involving himself too much. The model started planning events and signing them up for events without telling him beforehand, or taking care of their finances without mentioning it all until Till found it out himself later. After events he would even invite them to a dinner in a restaurant of their choice and take care of the bill, calling it a reward for their great job. Ivan basically gave himself the position of being their manager.
The twin siblings seemed actually happier with Ivan involved. They both liked him as a person, and they were relieved somebody with wide connections opened so many doors for their band and took care of the boring stuff, so Till couldn’t really talk with anyone about it. He was supposed to be grateful, he told himself, after all, he was barely keeping it together before Ivan entered his life, but then again, Till disliked—no, detested the feeling of being controlled by somebody. He liked his a bit chaotic life, and definitely liked being aware of decisions that involved him, especially if it was something as important as his band.
It’s not like Ivan didn’t know what he was doing, he actually did everything very well, but it still threw Till off. And since he had nobody to tell this to, his irritation kept building up till he couldn’t contain it anymore, bursting in the worst way.
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It has been a bad evening for Till. He was already in a bad mood because Ivan came along once again—Till had barely been able to be alone with Hyuna and Hyunwoo for weeks, without Ivan coming along, “taking care of everything” once again. And he felt like that evening they didn’t really achieve everything because Ivan had been too much of a distraction for Hyuna and her brother, causing them to talk more than practice. One of the guitar’s strings also tore, causing the grey-haired to frown on their way home.
“Don’t be upset, Tilly. Things break sometimes. And these strings aren’t expensive, I’ll take care of them, yeah? I’ll even buy so many that even if you tear one every week it’ll still last for a year—“ Ivan took out his phone again—something he has been doing very often lately, as if everything can be fixed with a couple of clicks. Well, that’s just how being rich worked, no? Till stopped walking, staring at his shoes. Orange leaves swirled on the sidewalk, indicating that autumn has already visited their town.
Ivan stopped a few metres further, looking back at Till in confusion. “What is it? If you’re worried about the money, I told you I’m gonna take care of it, don’t worry—“
“No.” Till interrupted him. Ivan shouldn’t have said that. The latter’s smile faltered as he looked in confusion at the other, who was still staring down. “No…? Till, what do you me—“
“I mean no.” He finally looked up at Ivan, feeling a lump in his throat. But his irritation was too much to keep down now, even if he tried to.
“I’m sick of this. I actually don’t know what you’re trying to do. Always taking care of everything, always planning MY schedule, always rushing to help people. I don’t wanna be something you invest in and take care of. I can do things myself, I’ve been doing just fine even before we became friends, so why are you acting like everyone will die without you?”
No Till, don’t say that. That’s too much. Look at the pain on his face. Your words are sharp and aggressive for no reason. You’re overreacting, his intentions are good.
“Do you feel better about yourself when you play charity with other people, just because they’re not as rich as you? We get it, money has never been a problem for you. Do you pity me that much? Because if yes..” his voice was shaking, hands clenching into the sides of his pants “then I don’t wanna be friends with you. Because I hate nothing more than people doing better than me looking down on me. And because I actually wanna be in control of my own life.”
The silence was loud, Till’s own heavy breathing and rapid heartbeat filled his ears. He shouldn’t have said any of this, he should’ve communicated it before it burst out of him like that, and now Ivan was looking at him with betrayal, too shocked to say anything.
“I didn’t know you felt like this..” Ivan finally slowly said, still processing the words Till blurted out. “That was never my intention. I.. I..”
Till was too hurt, too ashamed to just retrieve. “Then why are you doing all of this? It doesn’t benefit you in any way—“
“Because I like you!” Ivan was the one to interrupt this time. “And I’ve never felt like this before. You’re the first person I am really interested in, and these feelings are overwhelming me, and I don’t know how to show my love, and then I just, I just.. do all of this. I thought I’m getting you to like me if I am useful, if I take care of everything bothersome, and if I spend my money and if I—“ his voice cracks and he quickly lowers his head. Till always saw Ivan being cheerful, unserious and teasing, and now he didn’t know how to deal with this side of Ivan. God, did he really have to crash out in the middle of the street?
“And sometimes when you sleep, I just watch you and think that if I’m not useful in any way, you wouldn’t like me. I’m a weird person, I often don’t know how to act or behave. Who am I if I’m not great and obedient? So I do all of this to make you like me even without emotional intimacy needed.” Ivan looked up at him with a pained smile. “I’m sorry. I said too much.”
Now it was Till’s turn to be silent, slowly processing the black haired’s words. “You like me?”
Ivan’s eyes widened. Is that the only thing that stuck with him? But then he nodded.
Till stared at him, lips slowly parting. Then he finally took a step forward, and another step, and another, before standing right in front of Ivan. He slowly lifted his arm with barely any energy, punching him half heartedly in the stomach. Ivan didn’t comment on it, but there was a big question mark floating next to his head.
“Stupid. I just thought you were trying to impress me with how much richer you are, or that you were having fun being responsible of somebody depending on you.. I do like you too, that’s why this irritated me. I wanted you to see me as a proper person, not just somebody you need to take care of all the time. I wanted to impress you with how I get things done, even if it’s not as smoothly as when you do it, and when you took that chance away from me, I guess I got annoyed.”
He hesitantly looked up at Ivan, finding him staring down at him with his lips parted and tears at the corners of his eyes.
“Are you seriously crying?” Till scoffed, his ears turning red. He still hasn’t gotten used to emotional Ivan. “Idiot.” The grey haired grabbed the taller by the collar, pulling him down a little to press a light peck to his cheek. “Take this as an apology to my outburst, okay?”
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"What can I get you today?" Till asked, smiling at the customer who was nobody else than Ivan.
"A kiss please" Ivan replied with a teasing smile, earning an embarrassed glare from Till.
"Oh shut up. Don't remind me." Till scoffed as he went to the back for a few minutes.
When he came back, he had changed into his street clothes again and took his bag with him. It became a habit that Ivan picks Till up at the end of their shift.
"I'm very attached to this café." Ivan mutters as he shares his long scarf with Till, wrapping the other end around the grey haired's neck before they leave the place and get into the cold. "It's where we first met. Maybe we should get married here?"
Till scoffed again, hitting Ivan playfully on the head. "You've been saying a lot of senseless stuff today. How about you shut up for the rest of the day?"
But when Ivan secretly glanced to the side, observing the shy smile on Till's face, he knew that he wasn't done with the teasing yet. Maybe he will think of a better comeback when they're back at their dorm. He has to.