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This briefing room is larger than most, smells like burnt coffee that has been sitting for too long in the pot, and that certain smell of disinfectant that gets sprayed on every surface. The fluorescent lights hum, and buzz overhead.
It’s late, it’s later than anyone wants to be here for. So late that everyone in the room looks like they’re four coffee too deep. Leon is standing near the back of the wall. His arms crossed over his chest, but still his posture is loose enough in a way that on the outside makes him look like he’s relaxed only if you didn’t know the man.
He keeps his eyes moving, scouting over the fastest exits, the way people are moving about, the many tiny and quiet conversations being had. Leon is always working, always far too aware. It’s a group of newer agents, the babies in the league that sit towards the front trying to leach as much information as they can.
The fresh faces, the ones that are too clean, and far too hopeful to be in this sort of a business. Leon watches as one of them leans into another and whispers not nearly as quietly as they think.
“No way! That’s him. That is him right?” The briefing hasn’t started yet. Many people are talking, many in their own world but Leon hears everything. He watches as the other agents glances over his shoulder, then does a double take.
“Yeah… that’s fucking Leon Kennedy.” The other agent seems to straighten his posture even in the leather bound seat. His eyes widen ever so slightly that it would be hard for any other agent to catch. “You mean the Raccoon City guy right?”
There is a small pause in their conversation like both agents are trying to figure out if it’s actually him. He'd rather not be a spectacle in the briefing room, or really anywhere. “Yeah that’s him.” The agent finally says.
From that point on the air had shifted. It’s a subtle shift, nothing that anyone else would notice but Leon isn’t anyone else. He feels it settling, he doesn't move though, doesn’t even react to the conversation that is being had about him. He just stands there and listens to the agents go on and on about him.
“This is fuckin’ insane, man.” The new agent tries and fails to murmur to his friend. Leon can honestly tell that the agent is in awe but can’t frankly figure out why. “He’s a fuckin’ legend in the history books.”
Oh but those words seem to land harder and faster than they should. It embeds itself into the very root of what and who Leon is. Leon again doesn’t react, keeps his gaze forward on the board. Doens’t flinch, doesn’t dare walk over and correct them.
The briefing finally starts. It’s a dry, procedural one. With the numbers and coordinates and all the other jumbo that doesn’t matter to him. Leon doesn’t absorb much of it if at all. The words of the new agents just bounce around in his head.
Legend in the history books.
When the room finally clears after agents pass Leon him by, the chairs stop scraping against the tile flooring, and the quiet conversation has started to spill mostly into the hallways of the building. Leon lingers mostly just wants to avoid the massive crowds.
Leon almost… almost makes it out of the briefing room without being stopped. Until he hears the new agent's voice. Shrill and hopeful in all the right ways that had made Leon so many years ago want to be a cop for the R.P.D. “Agent Kennedy?” The voice calls out.
Leon turns and is met with the agent that had been talking about him nearly an hour ago. Suddenly though all the confidence is stripped away, shoulders bunched up by his ears, his face not as neutral and far more innocent. “Yes, what can I do for you?” Leon asks, keeping his tone even and fair.
The baby agent straightened again almost on instinct. The boy stands a bit taller now, tries and once again fails to school his facial expressions. “I just wanted to uh… I wanted to say that it’s a complete honor to have met you, sir.” The agent mumbles. Leon shifts his weight on his feet, swallows and looks down at the kid. “It’s not necessary for you to call me sir.”
The agent's eyes went wide and, “Oh okay… Well, I'm just sorry.” The agent mumbles once again and then seems to find his footing and pushes through. “I just… you’ve survived Raccoon City. You’ve handled so many bio-terrism to our country. You even saved the president's daughter.” Leon doesn't shift, doesn’t change a single thing about himself as he stands in front of his agent.
“You have to admit you’re legendary.” There’s that word again, the huff of air that Leon lets out could probably pass as a laugh, “Sure.” Leon says flatly, “Something like that kid.” Leon finishes, and doesn’t wait for a response from the new agent. He turns and walks away in the slightly less crowded hallways.
Leon drive is a quiet one, a little too quiet. The city passed by outside. Turning into streaks of light. Reds, whites, and golds that reflected on the cars, and mirrors. Leon is practically choking the hell out of the steering wheel, causing his knuckles to go a pale color under the dim glow of the setting sun that reflects off the dashboard.
It replays over and over again in his head. Legendary. Leon’s jaw tightens and ticks under the pressure. The passing lights cause a flicker behind Leon’s eyes. It’s unwanted, uninvited and immediate.
The fire, the screaming, the very distant sound of the city falling into an immediate chaos. Leon cracks his neck, and lets out a shape exhale. As if he can force the memory back down and out of his mind's eye.
It doesn’t work though, instead there’s another flash. The door that he wasn’t there in time to get, the voices that are always calling out for help and the following silence that lingers in the darkness of Leon’s mind.
Leon tightens his grip on the wheel. His lip twitches, as he keeps his eyes on the road. “Lengedary people don’t leave others behind.” He mutters to himself. The road still stretches on in front of him, the car still hums with life, and the ghosts still sit next to him on the ride back home.
When Leon finally makes it home and pulls into the steep driveway. The house is quiet, most of the windows are dark except for the kitchen, and living room windows. You’re still awake. Because of course you are.
Except Leon doesn’t get out right away. He lingers in the driver's seat after turning the engine off. The silence that lingered before now seems to press further in. Like salt in fresh wounds. Heavier now that car isn’t in motion.
Leon catches his reflection in the side mirror. He looks tired, he feels tired. He looks older than he should probably feel for only being in his mid forties. He closes his eyes, swipes a hand down his face and finally gets out of the car.
The door clicks open softly. The sound of the TV runs in the background and Leon searches for you on the couch. There you are half way curled up into the corner of the couch. There’s a mountain of blankets that you’re wrapped up in.
You look up at him right away, the TV is no longer any of your interest. “Hey.” You say softly. You’re always so gentle with him, never questioning him when he walks in through the door. You’re just there for him.
Leon starts to shift further into the house. Taking his jacket out with a quick shrug of his shoulders and hanging on the coat rack by the front door. “Hey.” Leon echos, except his sounds hollow. You keep your eyes on the man for a second too long.
You aren’t checking the man for any injuries, checking his stance. You’re searching for something else, anything else that will tell you want is up to Leon. “Did you have a long day?” You ask him. He huffs at you quietly, “You could say something like that.”
You shift on the couch, pushing a few blankets away from yourself. Reaching for the remote to mute the TV, and you sit a little taller on the couch. Giving all your undivided attention to the man currently standing at the edge of the living room.
That one simple action is enough to make the mountain of pain in his chest tighten. Leon walks over to you slowly, slower than normal for him. As he sinks down to the couch beside you his knees pop and he groans when his ass finally hits the soft memory foam cushion underneath him.
Leon doesn’t sit close to you, but not too far either. He’s just there. You don’t push Leon, you never do. “You got that look, Leon.” You say after watching the man for a long moment. He glances over his shoulder at you. “What look do I have?” He asks with a raised brow.
“That one that says you’re replaying something in your head.” You reply softly as you can. “Over and over again.” Leon doesn't like you’ve nailed it right on the head, instead he shakes your gaze on him and looks over at the TV.
For a fleeting moment the man thinks to just drop it, like it runs down his back like water on a duck. Let himself say that he is fine, let himself lie to you, and say that there is nothing to worry about.
But the word sits heavy on his chest, and heavy on his thoughts. He clears his throat and rolls his shoulders out a bit. “Someone… a new agent called me legendary today.” Leon finally lets himself say. You blink a few times at him.
“Okay.” You don’t understand. Leon lets out a humorless, quiet laugh. It doesn’t shock you, but still you watch as the man leans forward, his elbows braced on his knees. His head falling into his opened hands. “The kid said it like it was something so obvious.” You wait a moment, just watching Leon.
Waiting.
Leon drags his hands over his face again. “He said it like it was some sort of fact.” Leon continues. “Like it was something that I had earned.” There was a moment of silence. “People who are legendary are able to save people.” His words come out sharp like a knife he used in combat. “I wasn’t… I didn’t save everyone.”
There is a silence that lingers and settles between the two of you now. It's not an empty silence, it’s a heavy one. You shift a little closer to Leon, letting your shoulder brush up against his. “Leon.” He just shakes head, like he doesn't wanna hear what you have to say. “You don’t understand in Raccoon City alone there was…” His words stop, his voice catches like a broken record.
You hear it because it’s you, and it’s Leon. You reach your hand out to grab him slowly. Giving him all the time in the world to pull away if he wants to, Leon doesn’t. You pushed your fingers into his, “Leon, babe you were twenty-one years old. You were a baby.” You say softly.
Leon just stares down at the floor, “That’s doens’t change a single fucking thing though.” He grunts out. “No.” You finally agree with him. “It doesn’t change anything.” When Leon looks up at you finally, there is a flicker of something behind his eyes.
“So explain to me how that makes me legendary. Cause I don’t understand.” He says with less anger, more sadness, and most of all exhaustion. As you turn to Leon fully more blankets roll down and fall to the floor quietly. You rest your other hand on his arm lightly. “It doesn't." You say with a soft shrug of your shoulders.
Leon whips around quickly, blinking at you like he’s been caught off guard. “What… Do you mean?” He asks. “That doesn't make you legendary.” You repeat yourself, "At least not by itself." The small crease on his brows develops. “So what does?” He asks, and you take a deep breath in and then out.
“You walking into a city that was already falling apart, already gone.” You say. “Still trying to save people.” You watch his jaws tighten and the sound of his teeth grinding together. “Then you keep going on after that.” You continue. “Even after everything you saw, and everything that you lost.” Leon can’t keep your gaze and ends up looking away, but doesn’t interrupt you.
“You never stopped.” You say, “You never turned your back on the city, or the people. You didn’t let yourself be defeated, or think that it wasn’t worth it.” You tighten your grip on his large, and slightly fucked up hand. “You always keep choosing to help other people. You do it over and over again. Even when it costs you something, even when it costs you everything.”
Leon's voice is rough around the edges when he finally speaks up. “That doesn’t mean that I was able to do enough.” Something deep in your chest cracks like a mirror being smashed. “You are absolutely right.” His shoulders sink, and he frowns as Leon glances back at you. “I wasn’t done, babe.” You add.
He lets out a huff, “That’s figures.” He says, but you shift closer anyway. Closing that small gap that was let over. “It just means that you’ll never give up.” You finish now. There is a long silence pause. His shoulders sag, ever so slightly. “That isn’t the same thing.” You shake your head. “No.” You again agree with him. “It’s not.” You look over at him, tilting your head to try and catch Leon’s gaze.
“But it matters anyway.” Leon just studies you for a moment, trying to decide if he wants to believe you or not. “I don’t feel legendary.” Leon admits. You soft, “That’s okay, because you don’t have to, Leon.” He blinks at you “What?” like he hadn’t thought of that being a possibility.
“You don’t have to feel like it to be important.” You say to him. “You don’t have to carry it either.” There’s a flicker of something, maybe relief that crosses his face, but it’s gone just as quickly as it appears. “But there’s people that except…” He tries to say. “No people don’t know what you carry, babe.” You interrupt him. Your words make the man stop mid thought. “They see what you have done. Not what all of it has costed you.”
Leon lets out a small exhale. His hand tightens around yours. His knuckles digging into the softness of your hand. “I just remember all of it… all of them.” He says lowly. “All the ones I couldn’t…” This time Leon is the one to cut himself short. This time the silence is different.
It’s something fragile
You shift again, closer into his side. Letting your other hand cup his slightly stubbled cheek, guiding his piercing blue eyes back to you. “I know, Leon.” You whisper. That’s all, Leon doesn’t argue with you, there is no correcting you, there is just knowing.
Something in Leon cracks, and his breath starts to stutter, like it’s barely there but still just enough. He squeezes his eyes shut for a long moment like he’s pushing things back down deep into his belly.
You don’t let go of him at all.
“Baby, you don’t have to be everything for everyone.” You say softly to him. “You don’t have to be able to save everyone to matter.” His voice breaks and cracks on the next word. “Then why does it feel like I have to?”
So there's the real culprit.
You lean forward, and let your forehead rest against Leons. “Because you care, baby.” You answer softly. “Because you always will, and always have cared.” You feel his shoulder shake, just once but it’s enough.
Enough to tell you that Leon is close to unraveling. You shake the rest of the blankets away. Wrapping your arms around him without a single hesitation. This time Leon lest you, no holding back as Leon pulls you into him. Tight, almost desperately like he fears you might disappear. “Maybe if I was faster.” He murmurs against your shoulder. His hot breath sends a shiver down your spine. “Maybe if I was smarter… something, anything.” You shake your head, “Hey.” You interrupt him, “No.” You say still holding him tightly. Leon lets out a sharp exhale, and the words seem to be dragged out of him by a force unknown. “I hear them… sometimes.” He admits, “The one that I couldn’t get to, I wasn’t able to help.”
Your heart lurches in your chest, but you keep your voice steady somehow.
“I know, baby.”
“They don’t ever go away.”
You sigh, “I know, Leon.”
Leon's grip tightens, and for a singular moment you think that he might break in your arms. “Baby. Look at me.” You feel him hesitate, but then he’s looking at you. “You came home.” You say softly, a small frown tugs at his lips. “Yeah.” He nods. “You make sure to keep coming home.” You continue, “Even after everything.”
Another beat passes by.
“You are still here.” Leon’s breathing starts to even out just slightly. “So that counts for something.” You tell him. Leon again searches your face, looking for something. “Do you really believe that?” He asks, you give him a small, tired smile. “I believe in your Leon, that you’re still trying.”
Silence engulfs the living room, then quietly almost silently. “I don’t think legends are supposed to be this tired.” Leon jokes lightly. You giggle, “Then it’s a good thing you aren’t one, Leon.” You see the fainest etchings of a smile on Leon's face. “Yeah?” He asks, “You are just a guy that doesn't know when to quit.”
Leon lets out a quiet breath, “You mean I’m stubborn?” Your toothy grin makes him laugh, “Very stubborn.” The tension comes out in waves over his shoulders. Finally allowing the man to ease into the couch. It’s not all gone, but Leon is lighter then. It’s much more manageable now.
Leon leans forward, once again pressing his forehead into your. Closing his eyes when the comfort of the smallest touch calms him even further. “I still don’t feel like I deserve that title.” Leon admits. You brush your thumb over the curve of his shoulder. “Then you don’t have to worry about it.” Leon lets out a shaky breath. “So what if I just let people believe it then?”
You’re shaking your head, “No. You show them who you are.” His arms tighten around you again, his head shifts to the crook of your neck and this time it doesn't feel desperate, but instead it’s grounding for both of you.
“Stay with me, please?” he murmurs into the softness of your neck. “Always, Leon." You say without hesitation. For the first time since the newbie agent had spoken those words the weight doesn’t feel as heavy, or as suffocating as it had in the briefing room hours ago.
It’s not gone by any means, but it’s quieter.
It’s something that he can carry now without allowing it to break him.