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It was warm in the garden. There was sunshine, and there was cool water, and there was birdsong. Crawly was supposed to be providing temptation for the humans, but he mostly fell into it himself. He sunbathed, and he wanted for nothing. Every morning, he slept late, and every afternoon, he hissed laughter at all the angels buzzing about, trying to look busy in paradise.
Of course, there was the guardian Aziraphale, who was an angel and who buzzed about almost incessantly, but seemingly out of genuine excitement. He was so pleased with all he saw, he might have given The Divine a run for Her money (had money been invented and not something Crawly was just sort of fleshing out conceptually at that point).
"Oh, how lovely," Aziraphale would say, or "What a marvel!" or "And what's this do?" He was just as interested in creation as the humans were, and he was a terrible guard for it. Crawly could have snuck a thousand temptations in had he the mind to do so, which he did not because he enjoyed lying about too much.
While Crawly had been aware of Aziraphale harassing the wildlife, he had never considered that this might affect himself.
"Oh, how lovely! What a marvelous thing you are!" Aziraphale sang in praise one morning, waking Crawly with a start. "Oh, did I wake you, darling? My apologies." Before Crawly could realize that Aziraphale was talking to him, soft hands took him gently from his branch, holding him up so the angel could get a better look in the light. "You know, I believe I've seen you here before, but you're awfully shy." Crawly was starting to panic, as surely an angel would sense the vicious evil pouring off of him at any second. "I'd bet half my celestial wages on you being the shyest creature in the whole garden!"
Aziraphale stopped holding him awkwardly aloft and instead hugged him to his chest, holding the bulk of Crawly's body with his strong arms and letting his head rest on his shoulder. "Betting is something I'm creating," Aziraphale explained, starting to trek through the woods. "It's fun, and it can bring quite a lot of joy to a person. Maybe only one person at the time, but I suppose not everyone loses as poorly as Gabriel. Oh, forgive me. Perhaps that's too harsh."
Gently jostled, Crawly was becoming very frustrated by how nonchalant this angel seemed, telling all of his secrets to an enemy. But perhaps more than that was this concept of "wages," which seemed related to his own creation of money—suggesting that perhaps he had not as such created anything. In his attempt to get away, he coiled his tail around Aziraphale's other shoulder, trying to push his head away.
"Wiggly thing, aren't you?" Aziraphale said, pleased. "All right, I'll set you down." Finding a new branch at a good height, Aziraphale began to arrange Crawly neatly, making sure he was just as well supported as he had been in his warm arms. The loss of heat was more startling than anything else this morning. It made Crawly feel uneasy, and maybe something else.
"I'll see you again, Mr. Snake," Aziraphale promised. He leaned in, and Crawly reared back. He's going to kiss me, he realized in horror. Aziraphale was always pecking his blessed affection on every living thing he encountered, which Crawly had noticed for whatever reason he had noticed it. But in this case, the angel might burn his lips against the demonic flesh or he might inhale the scent of sulfur, and then he'd have to smite Crawly and send him back Downstairs.
"Oh, I forgot," Aziraphale murmured, drawing away a little, tittering slightly. "You're shy." He shrugged. "Well, goodbye then." And he made to leave, which made Crawly even more anxious. He hissed, and Aziraphale leaned in curiously. "What is it?" he asked.
Slowly, carefully, Crawly moved in. He couldn't exactly kiss an angel, because it would be disgusting and uncouth, and not in the way his superiors wanted. And snakes couldn't actually kiss. But he did duck his flat head and sort of gently tap it against Aziraphale's forehead. He scented the air with his tongue quickly, and was surprised to learn that the air wasn't rank with the sweet smell of angel. It only smelled of skin, clean linen, and sunlight.
"You're a dear," Aziraphale said as Crawly drew back and recoiled, resting his head on his body. Crawly watched as he walked away, singing to himself, probably thinking about friendly competition and wagers. Crawly was pretty sure gambling was one of the best ideas he'd ever heard of, and he was going to steal it the moment he got fed up with sunshine.
