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Ken Takakura has always been a weak man, it's a simple fact of life. Grass is green, aliens are real, Ken couldn't hurt a fly.
Hell, the fly could probably find a way to beat him up.
This was nothing new, he'd been pushed around his whole life. It's something he came to terms with before he turned 10 years old, he was an easy target. Scrawny, short, quiet, and wears glasses? It really was a wonder he hadn't been strung up in his underwear for the whole world to see. He figured it'd be like this for the rest of his life. It wasn't something he was particularly thrilled about, but he made it this far. Best case scenario, he'd graduate and face plant into the adult world, where his peers will have matured enough to just ignore him, instead of torment him.
At least, it was. Until she showed up and turned everything he knew upside down.
The first time Ken transformed was a blur, he was too focused on keeping Momo safe from the flatwoods monster, too disoriented by the shift in mood and massive increase in speed. He only had vague snippets of sensations, the pain of his blood and organs sloshing around inside his body, and the complete failure of his vestibular system after the immense acceleration. But there was one he remembered clear as day, and would never forget for as long as he lived.
For the first time in his life, Ken Takakura felt strong, powerful, dangerous. He could actually fight back, and it felt incredible. He'd experienced his fair share of scary situations before, felt the rush of adrenaline that made him feel like he could actually do something to his bullies for once. He never did, of course, he was always too weak and cowardly for that. This was something else entirely, the cold fire raging beneath his skin made his muscles tense and twitchy, like if he didn't use all the energy they'd rip themselves right off his skeleton.
Then, he went full throttle.
The fire within him exploded outwards, setting his entire nervous system alight. He could feel every muscle fibre tense and bunch up in ways that felt both inhuman, and absolutely amazing. His senses were dialled up to 11, every sound, smell, and sight was so intense it was almost sickening. There was one sight he couldn't get enough of in this state, though, Momo Ayase. Even in the box they were trapped in, where everything was dark and grey, it seemed like she was exploding with every colour in the spectrum. She looked frightened, shouting at him, but he couldn't hear her. It was like he could see every individual strand of hair flowing, every detail in her wine coloured irises, the shape of her hands and the unique pattern of her fingerprints as she waved them at him in slow motion. Then, he saw the giant hands of the flatwoods monster closing around him in his peripheral. In the blink of an eye, the world shifted crazily and he found himself standing a few meters away, with a giant severed finger clamped tightly in the teeth of his mask. He suddenly felt very drained.
Bummer, he wanted to keep looking at Momo-chan.
When they finally "defeated" Turbo Granny and found a moment of peace, Ken found himself reliving the memories of being transformed constantly. He found himself missing the rush, the energy, the strength. When he wasn't making a fool of himself in front of Momo, or thinking about her, he felt antsy and tired. His muscles were sore from being shredded days prior, but were still buzzing with lingering energy. Did he miss being cursed? Surely not, that was a horrible experience, and he was glad it was over. Still, when he was sprinting to Momo's class to tell her about his missing balls, he found himself instinctively trying to push his human legs beyond their capabilities.
The first time Ken transformed without meaning to, he was scared. Not because he was worried he would lose control and hurt Momo or her grandmother, or because he was still cursed and this nightmare wasn't over. He was scared because of how much he enjoyed it, that was dangerous. The uncomfortable sensation of his muscles and bones elongating, the familiar apathy that washed away his burning rage, and the power. God, it had only been a day, and he missed it that much?
Yeah, that was incredibly dangerous, he'd have to keep a very tight leash on himself.
The next day it happened again.
Ken hadn't considered what might happen if his bullies decided to target him while he was under the influence of his new powers, but he felt a sense of dread as he approached his classroom. That dread vanished as soon as he felt an arm drape around his shoulders, he felt perfectly calm and even confident that he could handle these guys without losing his cool.
Then he said something horrible about Momo.
Suddenly, Ken found himself towering over the guy with his shirt tightly bunched up in his fists, he was on his knees and begging to be let go. To Ken's surprise, it wasn't the lack of self control that scared him most, it was the sick satisfaction he got from using his power selfishly. Unfortunately, that was the least exciting thing to happen that day, so Ken didn't have much time to worry about it.
Over time, Ken did learn to control himself better. As his physical strength improved, so did his mental strength and his control over the curse with it, but he never got used to it. He never got used to his skeleton stretching, his emotions fading away, or the burning rush of running at 100km/h. He never saw himself as one with an addictive personality, the worst he ever got was a mild dependence on caffeine (and Momo, but he tries not to think about that). He always frowned upon the use of drugs, and would never even consider taking any.
Not that any of them could feel nearly as good as-
Okay, maybe he had a problem.
It started small, at first. Going full throttle to make it to school on time, a responsible and logical use of super speed. Then, he started going on runs to "train cardio". Ken knew deep down that he got enough cardio and strength training at school and during battle to maintain his body, but found he didn't much care. It was only after the third night in a row of sprinting to Momo's house to check on her while she slept that he realised what he was doing. Sure, he cared for her more than anything (even himself), and needed her to be safe at all times, but it was more than that, he knew. In his human form, he could feel the curse pulsing beneath his skin, making his body burn up and his muscles itchy. Whenever he went more than a few hours without running, he got irritable and edgy. More than once he had to excuse himself from hanging out with his friends to go for a run, because he was afraid of snapping at them. It wasn't their fault he couldn't control himself, why was he being a jerk?
He began looking for reasons to keep his powers not long after that.
Do I really NEED my balls back? It's not like anybody would want to have kids with ME anyway, bummer.
How would I even keep Momo safe without my powers, anyway? She can take care of herself, sure, but I HAVE to be certain. How could I be anything but dead weight without these abilities?
I can't go back to being the weak loser I was before, everything is finally going my way because of these powers. Momo thinks I'm cool now, I can compete with Jiji, I can defend myself! If I give this up, they won't have any reason to care about me anymore. They'll leave, just like everybody else did. Even my parents thought I was too weak to bother with.
Maybe we can lie to Turbo Granny, tell her we couldn't find my balls, and that I need to hold on to her powers indefinitely.
That thought gave Ken pause, was that really him? He always saw himself as a man of his word, a man of principle. And what would Momo think, if she heard what he was considering? She would surely be disappointed in him, Ken Takakura (the actor) would never go back on his word. A real man would never be so selfish, what was he becoming?
"It might feel like ya got control over 'em now, but they're still dangerous. Remember that."
Is that what Seiko meant? Ken always thought she was talking about physically losing control over his powers, but he got over that weeks ago. She always had a habit of layering several meanings behind seemingly simple statements. Did she know about this? Why must she always be so cryptic?
When Rokuro broke into the police station to get them information on his remaining family jewel, Ken was suspicious, to say the least. After all, he may technically be on their side, but he was still a Serponian. How did they know he wouldn't use the information to take the ball for himself and use it to buy his way back into his species' good graces? To everybody's surprise, not only did Rokuro stay true to his word, but he actually found the missing ball.
Damn, even a Serpo has more integrity than me. I have no excuse, these powers are dangerous. As soon as we get my other ball back, I'm giving them up.
Even after making the decision to do the right thing, Ken still felt conflicted.
On one hand, the curse was clearly chipping away at his fortitude, affecting his mental health and relationships. He couldn't lie to himself anymore, he had become addicted to Turbo Granny's powers. He was sure his friends had started to notice, too. They kept asking him what was making him so irritable, why he kept excusing himself from hanging out with them. Momo commented on his aura a handful of times, saying it "looks different". Ken pretended to not know what she meant, but he did. He could feel the curse rooting itself into him more and more. With every transformation, every full throttle, he got closer to the edge. And he kept doing it! Kept justifying it to himself, telling himself it was to get stronger, to protect his friends. Eventually, he just gave up on the pretence. Told himself there couldn't be that much harm in something that felt so good.
But he knew.
He was slowly killing himself.
On the other hand, he wasn't entirely wrong in his reasoning. He was a logical man at the end of the day, he knew the risks of being powerless with such a massive target on their backs. He hated the idea of leaving Momo to fend for herself, strong as she may be. Ken knew Momo wasn't fragile, that word wasn't even in her vocabulary. She was stronger than him in every way, and could take care of herself without breaking a sweat. He also knew that he wasn't the only one with yokai powers, she could rely on Jiji and Aira to fight by her side, but Ken had his doubts. It's not that he didn't trust his friends to look out for her, but they weren't him. He needed to make sure with his own eyes and hands that she was safe, nobody could do that for him. Before anybody else, it was just them. They're the ones who had the biggest targets on their backs, the aliens wanted her just as much as they wanted him. They needed to have each other's backs at all times, they're partners-
Not like that, Ken!
No, he made a promise, and he planned on keeping it. When he got his other ball back, he would give up his powers.
But, he won't give up on anything else.
For the longest time, he thought Momo was only helping him because she felt responsible for getting him cursed. Of course, Ken disagreed, and felt the blame rested entirely on him. After all, he was the one that brought up paranormal phenomena to her in the first place. Eventually, he settled for sharing even blame for everything with her after a 3 hour argument about it. How could he think so little of his best friend? After all, if Momo really didn't care, why would she argue with him about it for so long? Wouldn't she just give up and let him take the blame like he wanted? Why would he want that? After everything they'd been through, Ken was still having doubts? He'd seen her put her life on the line for him and the rest of their friends countless times by now. That's just who she was. Hell, she called him out on this behaviour on their very first day as friends! Ken keeps assuming what other people think and comes to the worst conclusions! She was totally right, as gauche as she was about it.
She wouldn't just leave because he didn't have powers anymore, what a ridiculous thought!
It was that moment, Ken realised.
It was never the powers that gave him strength, it was her. She gave him a reason to fight, to come out of his shell, to grow. He was more confident than he'd ever been in his life, with or without powers. He was stronger than ever before, because he fought for her. He had all these amazing friends, who cared about him, who lifted him up when all he wanted to do was curl up and be forgotten. He had a place he could call home, that welcomed him with open arms. An adult that fed him, clothed him, and showed him unconditional kindness, even when he felt like he was nothing more than a burden.
A lifetime of feeling like an outcast, being ignored, and picked on. Ken thought that was all there was to life, that he'd always be weak. He finally realised that wasn't true anymore.
It was all thanks to Momo Ayase.
For the first time in his life, Ken Takakura felt truly strong.