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"Good morning, berry boy," Vee smirked as she pulled the blankets off of Sprout's head and gave him a lazy kiss. "Big day today."
Artificial sun spilled through the tattered curtains of Sprout's room, causing him to stretch lazily and sprawl back in the golden light. The curtains didn't open, so as not to expose the tangle of wires from Dyle's "indoor lighting" setup. Dandy had begged him to make it so the toons felt "more refreshed!! More at home!!". Sprout knew it was just so toons would like him more and in turn do more runs.
"Hmm…" Sprout churred as he got up. "What's the special occasion?"
"Oh, it's Easter time today," Vee hummed happily, brushing dust off of Sprout's best suit, which was slightly wrinkled. "The Easter toons are expected in an hour. Go shower."
"Okay, meet you downstairs in ten," Sprout called, stepping into the bathroom. Carefully peeling off his baggy shirt and scarf, letting them drop to the floor, he stared at the mirror.
Something was always off about him. Hunched shoulders. Cracked voice. Flat chest. All normal for a guy, but…not for him.
Vee could so effortlessly charm a room with her feminine grace, but she never complained about wearing a suit. Today she was wearing a beautiful green silk dress- Vee had never been fond of dresses- but grudgingly put on because her best friend Shelly sewed it for her. It seemed a waste of a perfectly good outfit if Vee didn't like it. In fact, maybe Sprout could convince her to trade outfits for the Easter event…
Shaking his head, Sprout wrinkled his nose. What was wrong with him? He'd never be caught looking like a girl. Stupid. Stupid of him to think of trying to be different. Delilah created him to be this way. He'd never be able to change it.
Letting the hot water run over his face and soak his leaves, Sprout sighed. Suds bubbled up from his lavender shampoo- stolen from the Easter shop with raw eyes and a wave of nausea from staring at his body- as he scrubbed, feeling the sting of his skin peeling from the rough gesture.
Warily, from under the stream of scalding water, he watched the suit sway in the slight breeze, knowing it was all fake. Like him. A costume. About as real as the lights 'outside'. Even the breeze wasn't real, just from the vent which puffed out specks of dust along with dubiously clear air.
The Easter event would hopefully be quick. Then he could get out of the itchy suit. Eyeing the sparkling dress Vee had left in the bathroom, Sprout felt a wave of jealousy wash over him.
I wish I could wear that.
Damn it damn it damn it. Sprout clenched his fists against his head, breathing hard. Stop it, Seedly. You're a boy.
But the word felt as wrong in his head as it did as a label.
Soft, artificial sunlight peeked through the bathroom 'windows', curtains pulled over them so no one could snoop on the toons inside. Sprout toweled off his leaves and gazed himself in the eye in the mirror. Every crooked seed. Every astray leaf. His too-big eyes.
Unhappiness hit him like Dyle's train, slamming into his chest with a point that cut his break away. Snot dripped from his nose as he cried silently, trying to muffle his sniffles in the ratty towel.
Get it together, Seedly.
Downstairs, Vee was waiting, inspecting a tray of pancakes, having miraculously swiped the dress when Sprout wasn't yearning for it. Spinning and kissing her, Sprout felt a gnarled place inside of him whisper, that should be me.
Sitting down and shoveling pancakes into his mouth, Sprout turned to Cosmo so he wouldn't say something he regretted to Vee.
"Shhoo, Cosh," Sprout mumbled through a mouthful of pancakes, which he paused to swallow with a swig of orange juice. "Are you excited for the Easter toons to visit?"
"Yeah!" Cosmo beamed, swatting playfully at Sprout's hand reaching for another pancake. "But get your hands of the pancakes, mister. I baked those all this morning for Cocoa and the others."
"…You mean Bassie and the others?" Sprout raised an eyebrow. "She is the holiday main after all."
"Ah, yeah, sorry," Cosmo hastily scratching his head. "Ya know, sometimes I forget Cocoa's not the main. With how shy Bassie is… hm. Maybe if I bake her a cookie, it'll make her feel better! What's her favorite flower?"
"I'unno," Sprout mused, feeling empathy twist in his chest for Bassie. Poor Bassie. Everyone took her hard work for granted. Cocoa was always eclipsing her. Sprout did adore the chocolate bunny, but felt his protective side sympathize with Bassie.
Vee cleared her throat. "Hey, berry boy, I'm going up to the lobby. Meet you there."
"Okay. Love you." Sprout called at her receding figure, watching her wave with her microphone tail. Her shimmering dress pooled around her ankles, causing her to irritatedly kick it away, but it just glinted brighter in the light. Sprout was infatuated.
Holy Delilah. I hope one day I can be that pretty, Sprout's mind whispered. He wished he could peel his skin off his bones. He wanted to stop thinking these traitorous thoughts.
"Hi Sprout," Bassie said quietly, her grin falling into a crushed look as Poppy waved, then ran by her to get to Cocoa.
"Hey Bass," Sprout smiled sadly, reaching over and gently grabbing her hand. "… It's gonna be okay."
"I just-" Bassie let out in a choked whisper, sinking to her knees- "resent her sometimes. She's a good toon, she really is. Better than me. That's why Delilah wanted her to be a main i-instead of me."
"Hey. You're an amazing main. You have so much to offer Gardenview. You're so helpful in runs- dropping items, distracting for Pebble and Looey, making sure everyone is healed- even me! I can forget sometimes to worry about myself."
Bassie smiled weakly. "T-thanks. I… heard Bobette and Ginger and everyone recently went back into isolation a month or so ago. I wish I could meet them. And the Halloween toons too. They seem so fun."
Sprout nodded, grabbing Bassie's cold, skinny hand in his own. "Yeah. Maybe one day Dandy will find a way to fix this whole isolation thing."
Bassie smiled hopefully at Vee, who came to a stop next to Sprout. Sprout hummed as Vee traced her mechanical fingers along Sprout's arm.
"Hey, Bassie," Vee smiled, her pixel face giving the basket toon a warm look. "Mind if I steal Sprout from you for a sec?"
"O-oh! Yeah, of course!" Bassie pulled herself up from her crouch, hurriedly dusting off her skirt. "Thanks, Sprout. You're so kind. I hope I can be as kind as you one day."
"You already are," Sprout promised, casting a smile over his shoulder as he walked away with Vee. Turning towards her as they sat on a bench, Vee began, "I have a favor to ask you."
"Mhm? What's up?" Sprout perked up at the thought of assisting someone.
"Shelly is learning makeup from Glisten, and she says that your red complexion would really work with the look she's practicing. She tried with Bobette, but there wasn't a single word she could say, and Gigi was busy setting up for this event and later doing a run. Do… you think you could be her test subject?"
Makeup? Sprout's head spun. That sounded appealing. Actually, it sounded amazing. Makeup. That was kind of the most feminine thing you could get, right? Well. Boys could wear makeup too- Glisten did. Sometimes Goob did, for fun. There was one time Shrimpo wore a whole princess costume for Halloween, complete with a full face. But with makeup on, maybe… one day Sprout could be mistaken for a girl.
"Sprout?" Vee snapped Sprout out of his trance.
"Ah, yeah- that'd be alright with me," Sprout hastily replied, wringing his hands out in an anxious tic.
Vee narrowed her eyes. "You do that when you're anxious. What's wrong."
"Nothing's… wrong?" Sprout smiled with all his teeth, sweat beading down his neck. It was cold-blooded terror he felt coursing through his veins, which was strange, because who better to understand him than Vee?
"Clearly it's something," Vee muttered. Her expression softened. "Berry boy. You can tell me anything. I will never hate you, okay?"
"Okay. Sorry. I'm just out of it. Makeup sounds great. I'd love to help out Shelly," Sprout assured her, flattening out her bow tie with one hand. "I think I may need food. Want to go check out refreshments?"
"Yeah, alright," Vee's face twitched, unsure, before settling into a relaxed smile. "Maybe they have microchips."
Sprout snorted. "Yeah, hah. Microchips and salsa sounds great right now."
The two laughed, slightly bitterly. Dandy had taken all the microchips, the closest thing Vee had to experience eating, many years ago. Since she couldn't consume normal food, she was forced to sit and watch all other toons gorge on candy and sweets.
The event stretched long into the afternoon, toons drifting off to make conversation with their own friends. The food which Sprout and Cosmo had worked tirelessly at making for the past week, using any scraps and stores they could spare, was left to a few measly crumbs. Connie floated alone and munched away at the slightly watery jellies no one had wanted, leaving (literally) only a ghost left in the sprawling lobby.
Sprout sighed. Dandy had made a cleanup crew, designated to help at 6:00 on the dot so Sprout and Cosmo could roll out the spaghetti they'd made for dinner so they could do it all again. All he wanted was out of the suit. It tugged at all the wrong places. Exposed his bulge. Framed his rectangular torso when all he wanted was curves.
Tears pricked his eyes, rising and sticking his throat with a searing tightness. Sprout wanted to curl up in the darkest corner possible, so no one could watch her cry.
Her.
What. Sprout's brain spun. Did he… really just use her to describe himself?
Herself?
Standing up, wiping her- his- ugh- eyes, Sprout beelined for Shelly's room. Vee would likely be there- she'd gone with Shelly halfway during the event to tend to something. Probably more sewing. Vee enjoyed helping Shelly, despite her hatred of dresses, and she wouldn't pass up the chance to show her knowledge- "programmed up to the early 2000's!"- in 'trendy' styles.
Sprout was going to test something.
The idea of gender was blurred to him. Sam used they/them pronouns, which was frowned upon, but they always stayed true to themself. Sprout wished Sam was here. They were the only person he felt truly understood him, beside Vee. Lending him their old perfume. Explaining pronouns. If only maybe the show wasn't so hateful of… what's it… queers. Constant episodes with Glisten as a punchline. Brusha's crush on Tisha getting relentlessly ridiculed. 'Fag' becoming an affectionate nickname with the audience for Dandy after one occasion of him blushing at Astro.
Sprout needed help. Especially if they couldn't even figure out what felt right to him. Getting stuck in the body of a guy when all Sprout wanted was to be seen as a girl felt like rotting from the inside.
… He’d try makeup, just once. If it looked good, then, well. He’d figure it out.
Knocking on Shelly’s door, Sprout felt like a deer in headlights when it swung open to reveal Vee, Glisten, Shelly, Yatta, Scraps, and Teagan all lounging, staring at him with brushes dusted with blush and eyeshadow suspended in midair as if to cast a spell.
Shelly immediately brightened, extending her open hand. “Sprout! Hi! Are you here to help me out?”
Sprout let out a breath as the other toons turned away, making quiet conversation about meaningless things, like what color flower would look good in Bassie’s basket head, or dying Dandy’s petals neutral colors to give a less harsh look. Sprout felt a stab of jealousy in his gut at the simplicity of their certainty in their identity.
“... Ah, yes, I am,” he hurriedly responded to Shelly after realizing his silence. She beamed, then beckoned for him to sit down.
Dipping a pointed brush in a pot of eyeliner, she directed Sprout’s head to the side with a gentle hand, leaving him staring uncomfortably at Glisten.
Glisten narrowed his eyes, which were framed by purple eyeshadow. “Sssooo. Any reason you agreed to this, Seedly?” he purred. Sprout shriveled a bit inside. Don’t let him know.
Vee brushed her hand with Sprout’s, like a warning. Glisten wasn’t malicious, per se. He was a criminal gossip, though, and it felt like everything Sprout said was being recorded, and his secrets would play for all of Gardenview to hear soon enough.
“When did you start wearing makeup, Glisten?” Sprout answered with a blink, mumbling an apology as Shelly tutted.
“Hmm, that’s a hard one, actually…” Glisten hummed, picking at his chipping nail polish. “I guess I was just made to. That’s my role in the show, isn’t it? Drag queen, cunty boy, something along those lines. But it helps me express myself, and I like how it can almost alter you to help you feel more, hm. Perfect, kind of? Just make you feel more yourself.”
Shelly moved his head, and Sprout was no longer facing Glisten, which was good, as he thought he might cry if he looked at Glisten any longer. Something raw and powerful was in those words. ‘More yourself.’
“You had a pretty strong hyper masculine phase though, didn’t you, Glis?” Vee pondered. “Anything traditionally femme was repulsive to you, I think right after Gardenview’s shutdown.”
Shelly released Sprout from her grip and began to dust his cheeks lightly with blush. Sprout wanted to memorize this feeling, getting his face done up. It felt so… light, and freeing. Like his only care was smudging his makeup or what colors would clash with his outfit.
But he didn't just want that, he wanted the deep stuff too. The connection between other girls, where they could understand and look out for each other. Emotions that men seemed to have trouble accepting. Just… girlhood.
Glisten let out a shaky breath. “Yeah, well, it was a hard time for everyone, I guess. I ended up embracing who I am now after talking with Cosmo, I think.” The mirror gave a small smirk to Sprout. "You're lucky to have him as a best friend, Seedly. He's… yeah, probably the toon who got me out of that downward spiral. I mean, can you imagine me not listening to Madonna? Atrocious."
Sprout remembered that. Glisten had avoided anything even slightly suggestive of femininity. Slightly fruity soap? Nope. Music by girl artists? Nope.
Shelly turned to Glisten. "Hey, Glissy, blue or green eyeshadow?"
"Oh, blue. Do that one that's kind of baby but kind of cerulean. Green would make him look like he's about to squeeze down chimneys and deliver presents. It's April."
Shelly nodded determinedly and began to line Sprout's eyes carefully. It tickled a bit, but Sprout's jittery stomach distracted him. When she was done, she held up a mascara wand.
"Now I'm going to put on mascara. Keep your eyes wide and, for my sake, try not to blink," Shelly pleaded. Sprout nodded obediently, then widened his eyes. Shelly smiled in thanks and began to brush the wand gently across his lashes.
It felt strange, and Sprout's initial reaction was to flinch away, but something kept him from moving, freezing him still. His lashes felt sort of weighed down, but in a funny way he enjoyed it.
Switching eyes, Shelly chirped, "Thanks so much, Sprout!! This means a lot, I'm trying to practice new hobbies to keep me busy, and Glisten agreed to teach me makeup! You look super good, I think!"
"Yeah, anytime," Sprout mumbled, close enough as Shelly leaned in to smell her shampoo. It was faintly cinnamon-y, with a hint of decomposing roses.
"…Completely random question," Sprout clarified. Words seemed to spill out of his mouth as he blurted, "if I was scent, well- if I were to wear perfume, hypothetically, what scent would I wear?"
"Ooh, I love this question," Teagan piped up from her perch on a fuzzy pillow with Scraps and Yatta. "Well, obviously strawberry, but you already have that scent, so honestly I think something minty. Are you going for fem or masc?"
"…Probably. Fem." Sprout's face got hot, but no one so much as raised an eyebrow.
"WELL, I think you should go for a FROSTING kind of vibe," Yatta grinned. Her curly hair was getting braided by Scraps, who seemed to be having trouble with her clunky claws. "Ya'know, since you are a BAKER."
Sprout laughed. "I'm more of a cook. Cosmo's the baker."
"Eugh. Imagine a lasagna or a spaghetti perfume." Scraps wrinkled her nose in disgust, and every toon simultaneously made gagging noises. Laughter filled the room, and Sprout felt a warmth bloom in his chest.
This is how it feels to be part of this community, Sprout thought to himself in elation.
"What about like, white floral?" Vee suggested. "I don't know. Like gardenias or something. Possibly even jasmine."
The room hummed in assent, and Glisten jumped in. "Ooh! Could we tie those all together? Sometimes gardenias can smell kind of. Very stongly. Of sweetness. Which works with frosting-" he offered a hand out to Yatta- "but also, maybe spearmint to contrast that blinding sweetness but still keep 'fem'."
"I like that," Scraps nodded in approval, and the rest followed suit. "Maybe we could get Dyle to share his collection of random junk with us. There's probably perfume in there."
"Okay! Done!" Shelly sang, stepping back. Sprout looked around in anxiety at the room for opinions, wringing his hands out.
"AHH you look awesome!!" Yatta cheered, jumping up.
"Indeed! Love the blue," Teagan smiled, her lips curving up in an elegant gesture. Scraps nodded eagerly, sending a thumbs-up Sprout's way.
"Gotta admit, Seedly, you rock it," Glisten smirked, putting his head in his hands.
Turning to Vee, Sprout was surprised to see her beaming bigger than anyone.
"You look beautiful. You look like… you."
Vee handed Sprout a mirror.
A force crashed into his chest with a surprising wave of emotions.
There she was.
Her eyes were lined with a subtle but teasing hint of eyeliner, and her eyeshadow was complimenting of her red skin. Her blush made her cheeks look rounded and smooth, and her lashes were long and framed her twinkling eyes.
Sprout suddenly felt like crying. But as he looked up, Goob burst into the room, causing everyone's heads to turn.
"Hey everyone!!" Goob chirped. "Dandy sent me to tell you that dinner's ready! So come down to the lobby!"
The toons in the room sat up and chattered amongst themselves. With a steady stream, the room was emptied quickly, leaving only Sprout and Vee.
I should tell her how I feel.
"Vee…?" Sprout murmured timidly.
"Hey, what's up, berry boy?" Sprout flinched slightly at the word 'boy', but she shakily opened her mouth and blurted-
"I'm a girl."
Vee blinked.
"Okay, berry girl."
Vee's pixel smile widened as Sprout flung her arms around her.
"T-thank you Vee," she whimpered. "I thought you'd hate me."
"Hate you? I could never." Vee grabbed Sprout's shoulders, looking into her eyes. "Sprout. I love you, always. Do you think whether you're a boy or a girl is ever going to change that? And if you think about it, you were always a girl, you just didn't know it."
Sprout was crying now, fat tears running down her cheeks and ruining her blush. Pixelized tears welled up in Vee's eyes, causing her voicebox to glitch.
"Sprout. You're beautiful."
Despite her makeup running, leaves tousled, smile crooked, Sprout felt joy bubble up in her and felt it too. Felt beautiful.