Work Text:
Dazai slouched over his chair, heaving a bored sigh while his eyes pondered around the office. No one yelled at him once he arrived, because Kunikida wasn't there at the moment, evidently, from his fussily tidied up desk. Aside from Kunikida, no one was up to preaching to him about work ethics and professionalism; everyone else is downright ignoring him when he's up to his antics. Meanies.
Not even Atsushi was to be seen, but his desk was messy and his bag underneath, so he was somewhere in the building.
Heaving another sigh, Dazai leaned forward, resting his chin on his palm, the paperwork he tried so fiendly to evasion were staring back at him, he almost could hear the mocking laugh of the lifeless objects before him. He could not think of any other way to shuffle off with his main sources of entertainment absent.
That's why he, Dazai Osamu, the genius detective known for his sloth and lack of productivity, was reaching out for his paperwork, fully intending on doing it. If Kunikida was here, he wouldn't just write this down in his ideals but in history.
No, if Kunikida was here, this wouldn't happen.
However, before his fingers could reach the surface of the papers' pack, he caught a glance of a foreign object on the neighbor's desk, between the mess of papers and files, something rectangle, soft pink in color, something like a book.
Apparently, he doesn't need to work hard for reasons to idle around, because they will be sent his way on silver platter.
Archly, he retires from this ridiculous, boring idea of doing his work, an impish grin stretched upon his face, he hauls himself with one quick move to the other desk. Dazai hummed facetiously, toppling Atsushi's things with little to no care. He picked up the book, probing into the cover.
It was new. Dazai hadn't seen it before with the younger man, and Atsushi loves to walk around with his new books.
Probably, it was this month's to-read at the book club Atsushi joined months ago. A club made of five people; three first-year university students, one senior high-schooler, and Atsushi. Dazai doesn't know how this happened exactly, but Atsushi looked extremely cute while explaining the book's plot rather than how he met the group, so he didn't question any further. Having healthy hobbies was helpful in reducing work stress.
The book was pink, with cherry blossom petals adorning the cover, and the title written in bold black font 'Martian in Love with Cherry Blossom'.
Huh?
The title was rather baffling, quaint? Dazai has a brief idea of what its category might be.
Arching one brow up, he flipped through the book aimlessly, reading chapters titles and sentences in between.
From what he could see, it was a romantic comedy. Since Atsushi joined the club, it's the first time they have assigned a book of this sort. The previous books were murder mysteries and science fiction. According to what Atsushi said, the club's members were taking turns choosing the book for the month.
A snort left the brunette, they had a softie in that book club.
"Good morning, Dazai-san!
The brunette winces along with Atsushi's greeting, he has been caught red-handed, not that he was committing a crime—aside from eluding from his work.
The older let a lopsided grin when Atsushi's gaze flickered down to the book, "I see, you have found my new book."
Dazai leans forward, gleaming in amusement, "Not that you were trying to hide it, were you?"
The sides of Atsushi's lips quake upwards timidly, and there was a soft glint in his eyes, "Yes, I wasn't. But I wish it was a bit later, at least until I read it."
"Haven't you read it yet?"
"No. I just brought it recently and never had the time…" Atsushi answered thoughtfully, eyes fixed on the book within Dazai's hold, before they slid up to the man himself, two sunsets peering over him, with an extending and awaiting smile. If Dazai were a lesser man, he would have been stuttering and sweat-dropping by the intensity of these hopeful eyes.
"So?" Atsushi, finally, asked.
"As much as I seem like it, I can't actually read minds." Dazai returns with an equally wide and expecting smile.
"Right," chuckles the younger, flat but with a nervous undertone, "I just want to know what your opinion is about this book."
The older hummed, contemplating, "If you were asking if I had read this before, then no, I haven't, but if you were meaning my first impression…" his gaze anchors on the silver-haired, "then, this book isn't like the previous ones, not from the narrative, or classifying."
His gaze returned to the book, but before he could add anything, Atsushi resumed, "Yes, this month was my turn to choose the book."
Huh?!!
"And I wanted to read something wholesome instead of those horror and dark books…"
Turns out it was his softie.
"The other club members aren't detectives with tiger powers," Atsushi continues, unaware of the dumbfounded state of his companion, "They crave action the same way I crave peace."
Atsushi should shut up right now, because he was making so damn much sense. Dazai clenched the book. He never cared about the books Atsushi was reading before, but now, curiosity had got the better of him, he wasn't sure about his ability to let go of the book, not until he read the secrets written within its pages.
But why?
Was he this influenced by Atsushi's speech, that he now wants to whirl with new types of prose, or does he simply want to glean the reasons the younger were attracted to this class of literature—
"Alright, Atsushi-kun!" Dazai abruptly stood up, interrupting the younger's colloquy while declaring his plan, "I see you're quite swamped with work, so I'll leave you be. Kunikida wouldn't like it if you took after me and started lazing around, y'know, half the blame would be on me."
The brunt stepped out, book in hand and grin on face, "Now, if you excuse me."
Dazai walked away, waving at dumbfounded Atsushi, while romping in his gait.
"Dazai-san, wait! That's my book!" The silver-haired man cried out apprehensively.
"I won't take it forever, I'll just read it!" Dazai answered quite unabashedly for someone evading from his work using borrowed book, and sheer eventualities.
✏
The development of the story phases was quite impressive.
To begin, there weren't any Martians, but a deaf protagonist—Dazai should have known, nothing was hinting at science fiction— who got his Martian title because of the voices he makes and the green paint from his pranks.
The protagonist grew up in the infirmary, the sad reality of being disabled. Meanwhile, next to the infirmary was a pottery and craft shop where the heroine lives. The poor girl's crafts had been stolen by the protagonist since childhood. The protagonist was selling them to buy candy and stuff for the girl because her uncle was keeping all the money she gained. How cute.
Dazai's yet to read more of the book, and save to say he's pretty curious.
The pacing was feasible, fast, suitable for a beginner in the romantic section—Atsushi must have chosen it for his action-hyper club mates.
Nevertheless, Dazai won't call it a special or distinguished book—
Suddenly, the mattress dips right next to Dazai, as the familiar body leaned towards the brunette, "How far are you in?"
Atsushi asked, chewing on a bag of cashews. A bunny-shaped bookmark was on the other hand—wait, that was Dazai's bag of cashews. How bold of him.
Dazai reached out when Atsushi offered him some, "The sixth chapter—"
A sharp gasp left Atsushi, "That's so fast!"
"I'm a fast reader—"
"No, no!" Atsushi interrupted Dazai, shaking his head in disapproval, "You aren't reading a magazine or some article! Stories and novels require deliberation, you need to feel the characters, the plot, and the words. They are not something you just read, you need to feel!"
Dazai was quite taken by Atsushi's precept. Dazai has only read mystery and horror novels before, so the fast reading pace seems pretty appropriate for those categories.
"How about we give a shot to my way?" The weretiger suggested as he placed the bookmark between the pages Dazai was on.
Atsushi was so considering; if Dazai didn't like Atsushi's style, then all his progress would already be saved.
"Alright then…"
The morning rolled into noon. The office was mainly empty except Ranpo, who was sorting lollipops by colors at his desk, and Tanizaki, who was typing silently at his laptop.
Everyone else was missing and there was no Kunikida in sight to drag them back. They were either in the secretary's office, gossiping, or down at the café.
But there were two in the reception area, reading a book together over a bag of cashew.
Surprisingly, Dazai didn't find Atsushi's style bothering or boring at all, but kind of… nice.
The brunette had never done this before—sharing a conversation over a book. Even when he reread the book with Atsushi, the younger's reactions were rather funny if not cute.
Most of Atsushi's anticipations were wrong, but when they were right, triumph would paint his expression lovingly. And Atsushi's thoughts about the characters and the events were quite interesting. Dazai didn't even tell Atsushi when his break finished past an hour ago.
They didn't even know when they were moving too close to each other, and neither did they Atsushi realize it. Dazai didn't mind it. In fact, he would do all this again if Atsushi asked him to again.
Atsushi's closeness, the younger's voice in his ear, the hushed giggles between them, all these were keys to a new feeling, it fulls a gap within him, he didn’t know about, and he didn't mind feeling it more often.
Shortly after, the agency's doctor entered the area, she threw herself over the opposite couch, letting a tired sigh as the two men looked at her loud show of exhaust.
The doctor cracked her head towards them, an amused smile stretched upon her face. She seemed about to say a sarcastic remark, but didn't say anything.
"You look tired, Yosano-sensei." Instead, Atsushi noticed.
The doctor heaves a dramatic sigh, "The paperwork is the worst part of being a doctor, I swear!"
Dazai, feeling that Atsushi's attention was no longer on him, pulled the bookmark out of its previous place to slide it down where they stopped, before joining the convention, "That must be one hell of a night you had."
"Yeah, it is. Unlike you, I can't afford to neglect my work for much. People's lives depend on me!" She uncharacteristically complained while shooting the brunette a look as if he was the reason for all her problems.
"Lucky me~" Dazai sang, wiggling his brows at the woman who clicked her tongue in annoyance.
"How about some coffee, Yosano-sensei?" Atsushi jumped in before anything happened. They already know how's Kunikida's wrath is when Dazai gets on his nerves, no one wants to unlock Yosano's level.
The doctor removed her gaze from the walking disaster of a man, expressions soften, "It'll be much appreciated."
"Alright then!" The weretiger stood up after placing the book softly upon Dazai's lap, "I'll be back soon!"
"Bring something strong!" Yosano shouted out after Atsushi. The younger man raised his thumb before jogging to the entrance. The woman giggled in return while shifting her gaze to the brunette, who adjusted the book within his hold, an impish grin stretched upon her face, "How cute~"
Dazai perked up, looking at the woman before him in askance, "What?"
Yosano threw her head back, a rapid, sharp 'ha!' left her.
"You're trying to understand Atsushi, you don't even realize it!" The doctor looked amused, her smile twisted into a not-so-kind grin, "or maybe you're too much of a jerk to admit it?"
Dazai leaned backwards on the couch, tucking the book beside him before throwing his arms on the couch backrest, "I think you're tired sensei, you're saying nonsense."
"I'm only stating the obvious, and that's what I saw in the past few hours, otherwise what do you call your willingness to reread chapters all over again just because Atsushi asked?" Yosano defended her point against the other, grinning curtly.
Dazai stared absentmindedly at the older woman. He didn't do it to understand Atsushi but more to comprehend different types of prose… or was he?
"Yes…" He admitted, but there was a valid reason. "I wanted to understand Atsushi 'cause—"
"'cause you care about him," Yosano defiantly interrupted him, "not sure how far you do, but you care enough for it to be seen."
For a minute, Dazai only stared at the space as he pondered the situation. Shortly after, it finally clicked within the brunette. Dazai jumped to his feet. Since he joined the agency, they have never meant him any harm—because they do value his wits and position as one of their minds—even when the cat got out of the bag and his previous occupation was common knowledge, their objective towards him didn't change.
But this doesn't mean that he could forgive himself for his irreverence, for letting his guard down.
"Thank you, Yosano-sensei. For showing me my mistake," Dazai thanked her as he looked down at the book within his hold. Its weight doubled tenfold once he realized his feelings within its pages.
The doctor in question perked up in a stunt, "Huh?"
"Because I've been blind this whole time," the brunette continued with stubbornness, coloring his stance and words.
Yosano felt satisfaction, something akin to relief rush within her, "I'm glad that you finally understood—"
"If you could see how important Atsushi to the agency, perhaps anyone could!!"
"Important… to the agency…?" The doctor repeated in query.
"Anyone would be able to see how valuable and powerful Atsushi is as a subordinate, and they might scheme to take him away!" Dazai gasped, "or even worse, harm him just because he's working under me! I can't let this happen!"
"Wait, Dazai!" Yosano called after the man, who sprinted out of the room, "That's not what I meant!!"
The doctor gave it one last call before giving up, shaking her head in disapproval.
Was this man denying his feelings or did he simply didn't realize them yet?
Or maybe there was none?
This was a question she wouldn't know the answer now, or any sooner much for her displeasure.
When Atsushi returns, with two cups of coffee, both the way Yosano and Dazai like.
Guilt crawled within Yosano when she saw Atsushi's hopeful expression break down, "I'm sorry Atsushi, I chased him away…"
The weretiger looked up at the woman before him, forming a lopsided line with his mouth, an abortive attempt at a smile, "N-no, you did nothing, Yosano-sensei. That's how Dazai-san is."
"I know, but I still ruin it. You guys were sitting together, reading a book peacefully…" she paused, then clicked her tongue, "he even took the book!"
The doctor crossed her arms resentfully, mumbling curses under her breath. Meanwhile, a bittersweet smile forced itself upon Atsushi's face as he looked down at the cup between his hands, stirring it softly.
"Would you like another cup of coffee?" Atsushi offered Yosano the other cup.
"Why don't you have it?" the woman cracked one eyebrow up, her question hitting deeper than it should've.
"Dazai-san likes his coffee bitter, one sugar cube at best. I put three…" the cup was warm against the inside of his palms, a mocking reminder of the man who had just left him, "it's too bitter for me."
Yosano heaved a sigh, "Well, you should start from somewhere."
The weretiger perked up, genuine confusion written all over his face, "H-huh?"
The doctor stared at him with an unreadable look, before breaking into a sympathetic smile, "None of us could understand Dazai, and as much as I could see is that Dazai genuinely cares about you. But he might just see you as a close friend. We don't know for granted."
Atsushi was fully aware of this possibility. He never said it out loud whatsoever, nor did he want to hear it, but he knew just as much that someone would spit it on his face. He's just thankful that Yosano-sensei said it as nice as possible.
"You have to get these feelings off your chest, and accept the answer, whatever it was," Yosano resumed, her voice soft and low, careful not to blast the bubble around the younger.
She shifted quietly, standing up with a still-full cup of coffee in her hand, "it's a bitter pill to swallow. And if you can't drink the bitter coffee the man you love likes, then you will never be able to move on, or move in when the time comes."
The doctor leaves with a wave and apologetic smile, his eyes trailed after her absentmindedly. As much as he hates to admit it, she was right.
The coffee was rather tasteless, a parity to the stagnant tide of emotions within his very soul.
Later that day, when the sun was dozing off, giving away for the nightfall, Dazai came to see Atsushi at the river bank.
The older man was waving Atsushi's new book around, before asking the weretiger if he cared to join him for dinner with a reading session afterwards. Atsushi could never say no to free food—Dazai would pay this time, wouldn't he?—nor no to Dazai's company in general; so he agreed.
The brunette turned around, beckoning to Atsushi to follow him, but before either of them could take a step, Atsushi called out to the other in a high-strung voice, "D-Dazai-san?"
Dazai looked over his shoulder, humming curiously.
"I…" Atsushi began, feeling intensely bashful. How could he say his feelings to Dazai, what gave him the right to? Voices screamed and storming in his head. However, Atsushi has to get his feelings off his chest, so that pill should be swallowed.
"I have a confession…"