Chapter Text
raindrops adorn the bedroom window, dim orange streetlamps brightening the room just enough to make out the sleeping form beside you, their gentle snores comforting. you're lying in bed again, unable to sleep, your legs poking out from beneath the duvet while your body overheats, your mind running at a million miles an hour. the red glow beside you blinks 2:19. 2:20.
you envy them sometimes- they sleep so easily.
but when you look at them- truly, properly look at them, the back of their head, that is- there is nothing but love for the one beside you. the way their shallow breaths are so calm, steady… it focuses your mind. why were you staring at the ceiling all this time when you could have been staring at them?
you reach out halfheartedly- but then you overthink it.
the thunder rumbles, making you jump as a wave of rain hits the window.
you wonder if it's platonic. it can't be, right? people say that you can't have a friend who you kiss. but saying it's romantic isn't right either.
you're overthinking.
your gaze has drifted to the crackled ceiling, the spidery crevasses seeming much wider than they are in the daytime. a motorcycle roars past.
you shuffle closer, despite your body overheating. they lean back into you, their hand reaching for yours as their breathing pauses its steady pace.
you rest your head to their back as they caress your hand, their scent soothing to your fuzzy brain. the warmth of their hands feels welcoming- and you realise that you're no longer burning up.
sleep now my dear, they whisper, their voice soft, you're safe with me.
your eyes close as the rain trawls down the window, the world outside this bedroom disappearing into sleep.
you hope that when the day comes, this is what death feels like.