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The Pantheon, newly born, decided to have a tea party to go over the details of their lore. It was an old, nostalgic thing, and the details of how to carry one out escaped them in their age, but it was a custom they all shared.
“So,” Runda twirled a lock of her hair around a finger. On a screen, she idly watched her devotees go about their days. Soft fur, a baby was born. Mindlessly, Runda blessed it. Behind her, Nebula and Wisdom were getting ready a tea set. “Which one of you was going to tell me that tea tastes different if you put it in hot water?”
All of a sudden, there was silence. Runda stared at her screen for a moment longer before she broke and turned. Eldar was staring at her in horror. “Y-You were putting it in cold water?”
Runda stared at Eldar. She had no idea what to say. Yes? she thought questioningly. Isn’t that how tea is normally made?
In her internal conflict, she left the silence linger for a few moments too long.
Krampus, ever-dignified, walked over and placed his hands on Runda’s shoulders. “Runda,” he giggled hysterically, “Answer the question, Runda.”
“…Yeah?” Runda shook her head. “I thought for, like, ever, that people just put it in hot water to speed up the…” she hesitated. “Tea-ification process? I didn’t realize there was an actual reason.”
Besides, she mused, Who even has the patience to boil water?
“You don’t have the patience to microwave water for three minutes?” Eldar shrieked. Ah. She said that out loud, didn't she.
Zhangwan blinked. “Where did you get a microwave from?”
Krampus laughed again. “Why are you putting it in a microwave to boil it?!”
Eldar scoffed. “Do you think I have the patience to boil water on the stove?”
Krampus rubbed his face. “It takes less than a minute.”
Eldar choked, “Krampus, is your stovetop powered by the fucking sun?”
“HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE YOU TO BOIL A CUP OF WATER ON THE STOVE?!”
Zhangwan rubbed her forehead. “S-Seven minutes?” she asked, unsure. Krampus gave no indication of hearing her.
“Just stick the mug on top of the stove on medium heat—” a clatter of tea ware, the sound of Wisdom’s curses and Nebula’s soft amusement, “—and it boils in like two minutes.” Krampus folded his arms. “Less than that if you use a saucepan.” He added.
“I think I’m going to cry—you’re putting the whole mug on the stove?” Eldar choked up, “On medium heat?”
“Your stove is enchanted,” Zhangwan murmured in awe.
Runda stared at the chaos she created. “Every single person here is a fucking lunatic,” she decided.
Wisdom's head spun wildly. “DO NONE OF YOU OWN A FUCKING KETTLE?!”
Needless to say, the Pantheon did not have their tea party. Instead, they almost broke out into an incredibly intense brawl over the very concept of tea—a brawl of which Nebula served as the extremely amused referee.
There were some things, he thought, that, with any luck, would never change.