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Part 6 of Korrasami Week 2016
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2016-09-25
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Soulmates

Summary:

Korrasami Week 2016, Day 7: Soulmate AU

In another world, Asami has a dream, a vision of what she believes may be the true nature of reality and individual existence, and more importantly, her connection with her girlfriend of 10 years, Korra.

As she attempts to explain just what she's seen, she comes to a greater understanding of herself, her relationship, and what it truly means to be a 'soulmate'.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Soulmates

I have this dream.

I am a soul, untethered, drifting through an endless space, but it is not empty or void.

All around me are scenes and images replayed like movies on a screen that all tell the same story – the story of me, of my life – but in different ways. Some subtle, where I would have to halt my drifting and pause for a while to see if I could discern where the divergence took place, and others, so radical a departure, I almost do not recognize me as myself.

But I can feel that they are.

In this dream, I know where I am and what I'm seeing.

When I wake up I question if it could be real, if it were true.

But what I see is me, and you, as we exist somewhere out there in the infinite expanse of... whatever it is you want to call it. The universe, the multiverse, the omniverse, reality in general – but somewhere out there, these images and scenes I see are happening to me and you as our lives. And though there isn't much that connects some of them, some aspects seem immutable. We are different, but the same.

In my dream, this is what I feel.

I get the feeling that I'm not the only me to have this dream. That I've seen this place before, somewhere, in some other time. In some other life. I get the feeling that I'm not the only me to have seen beyond the boundary of this individual existence and glimpse a portion of something more, of the hidden depths that make up the greater 'me'.

But yet I question why I would be so privileged. Or perhaps so cursed.

But some of the alternatives I see are better than the one I live here, now, if only on the surface.

In some of them, my mom is still alive.

In others, my dad was never a criminal.

But then some others still are more nuanced. The details changed, as confounding as they are, are apparently ultimately irrelevant in the grand scheme of who 'I' am, if 'I' bears any meaning here.

Sometimes, I'm born as a boy. Sometimes I become one.

Sometimes, I'm an engineer. Other times, a programmer.

Others still, I'm an artisan, a chef, a sports star –

There are countless ways my life plays out, countless forms my body manifests.

But like I said before, there are still some defining traits, some core aspects that appear immutable.

For example, my parents are always my parents, for better or for worse.

My eyes are always green, no matter the face they occupy.

I'm always somehow different, or separated from you in some way, though maybe not at first, or maybe not in ways we'd be familiar with, but we later grow together, be it because of or in spite of what differentiates or separates us.

But the fact remains that you're always there. And from all I've seen, we always end up together, or at least we try to. We are always encircling one another.

I chase you as you chase me, to largely positive results. There are some failures, some bad endings, but we always end up falling for each other or feel as though we're meant to be. For us, as we think of ourselves here, individually, this is a blessing. But in instances where I died, or you died, we must think these feelings curses. The paths our lives may take may vary from instance to instance, from possibility to possibility, but they always end up coming back together, somehow.

In one instance, you have powers, and you are as a goddess on Earth, seen by all the way I see you ever day.

In another, I start off as your sworn enemy, but somehow, I fall for you and you sway me to your side.

In another we're in college, and you write a blog and seek the strength to confess your feelings.

In another we share a career, and we study the stars while we try to court each other.

In another we host a show, we've fans in the millions and all we do is play games and talk about life, and love, and each other.

There are so many ways that we play out, but we always do play out, somehow.

I'm forced to wonder if this is the definition of what we would call being 'meant to be'.

But there are others.

Roles in our lives who seem to also make appearances in as many forms as varied as our own, but their connections to us are similarly defined. Avenues of passion that were never meant to be, friends and colleagues who help us grow and meet each other, mentor figures who guide us in some way to becoming who we are to be, if only in that life...

I don't know if this dream is real or simply what it seems – a dream. A fantasy of my mind. But I find comfort in what I see, in what I feel. I wake up more sure of you than I was when I fell asleep the night before. It makes me think.

'Our souls are meant to be together'. That is the conclusion I often come to. 'We are destined to be each other's', in whatever way that life allows.

It brings me comfort, this thought that in the grand scheme of things, we really are as perfect a match as we feel we are. I take comfort in this notion that the universe plays favorites and rallies for two souls to court each other in spite of how it may come to realize those souls' lives, or itself, in the process.

It makes me feel as though there is someone, something out there that simply wants for us to be, together, for whatever reason. It makes me feel as though we're destined. As though we're right. As though we're valid.

Sometimes, I can feel you out there, too, searching for me, your soul calling out for mine. I'm not sure how I feel it, how I know, but I do.

I call out to you, and you do not answer, and yet you do, and I feel as though you have, deep down in the core of who I am.

I wonder, did I just help you find me in some other life we lead?

Sometimes I catch a glimpse of a soul separate from my own, blue and bright and so clearly yours, and I feel myself fall in love all over again.

I wonder, is this some sort of gift I've been given? Do I have some sort of secret power, some ability to separate myself from myself only to connect with some higher form of 'myself'?

I wonder, is this what it means to be a 'soulmate'?

Have I uncovered some great, hidden truth?

Perhaps my dream is just a dream... or perhaps it's something real.

Perhaps it's just a fantasy of a lovesick mind... or perhaps it's a gift and a genuine glimpse into some greater self.

I don't know.

I'm only telling you this now because I want to share with you my dream, or my discovery, or however you choose to interpret what I say. Because maybe you've been having this dream, too. Maybe you feel this connection the same way I do.

Or maybe that's some other you, in some other life, dreaming this dream yourself, and coming away... changed, contented, perhaps even enlightened, as I sometimes feel as though I am. Who can say for sure?

There is a lot about this dream that I do not know. But what I do know is this.

In every instance that I know, we are clearly meant to be.

In every instance that I see, I feel my love for you is the same.

If this is what it means to be 'soulmates', as we have called ourselves in the past, then it would seem that the universe agrees with our notion.

I feel as though I've arrived to this conclusion before... or maybe it was you? But these words, they ring familiar: perhaps the universe applauds us? Perhaps it seeks our joy?

All I know is, I love you, and I feel we're meant to be, and I feel that now the same way I felt it when we first kissed, 10 years ago.

In fact, I feel it even more.

And with these dreams I've had, I feel it growing even still.

If this is what it is to be 'soulmates', then I wouldn't have it any other way. Because, if this is what it means to be as so, then we'll get to feel this again, and again, and in every conceivable way. I will truly get to love you forever, no matter what, unconditionally, and feel you love the same.

And if that is what this is.

If that is who we are.

If these are just our souls and who we're always meant to be?

Then I think, perhaps, we've got nothing left to fear.

Because even if it doesn't end well for us here, though I feel as though it will, this is not the only 'here' we know, or not the only one we will. This 'us' we think we know is just a fragment of something more, a part of some hidden whole, and in this hidden whole, where all our fragments are combined, where our souls may intertwine, our happiness feels inevitable. Our love feels truly infinite. And you, as I, feel truly perfect.

And the more I think about it, the more I come to realize – I don't care if this is a dream.

I don't care if this is fantasy.

I don't care, because already, just by being, it has changed me.

Now I know, this is the 'us' I want to be.

This is the 'truth' I want to believe.

That we are all connected.

Fragments, scattered pieces of a greater whole. Of a human existence. Of an individual existence.

We share in origins, struggles and destinations, in traits that make us who we are. As a human existence. As an individual existence.

But what is an individual?

Is it who we feel and perceive ourselves to be, here, now, or is it something... 'more'?

Is an individual confined to a single, individual instance, an individual possibility or probability of a state, or are they the sum of all of their parts, of all they could be, and somewhere, are?

Is any one soul ever truly complete on its own, even like this, or does it have other parts? People whose souls impact and shape them and inform their existence, who follow them wherever they go, as they follow those souls in turn?

The feeling that I get is 'no', no soul is truly ever complete, even like this, even as a realization of all it could be. I feel it is necessary to have others around us, with us, connected to us.

Sometimes, perhaps even intertwined with us.

Does everybody have a soulmate?

I don't know. I think they do. But I'm somebody who has found theirs, so maybe I'm biased, or uninformed. Perhaps some souls do not require a mate to be complete.

But they all require somebody. Perhaps not to intertwine, but to inform.

That is one conclusion I have come to that I still stand firm in. After all, we are social creatures – without one another, how can we really hope to be?

We are all connected, Korra, but you and I more closely so.

We are fragments, scattered pieces of a greater whole. Who we are is just a part of who we're meant to be, pieces to a puzzle that neither of us alone can truly solve.

Because the greater 'me' I feel is neither me nor you, but us, together, as one, that I, as a piece, have been given the privilege of trying to comprehend.

You are to me more than anything.

You are to me, part of me.

You are my love.

You are my heart.

You are my world.

You are my soulmate.

Notes:

Boy oh boy was THIS a lot of fun to write. I love writing kooky, experimental, metaphysical, semi-philosophical, kinda thought-provoking stuff like this. Trying to realize these sorts of out-there ideas about individuality and reality and what it all means and how it's all connected and stuff.

Today's prompt was kind of vague, simply being "Soulmate AU", so I decided to follow that line of thought through to an extreme and try and create something new with it, or at least different, and see where it leads me. I just hope you guys loved to read this as much as I loved to write it. I'd definitely like to write some more stuff like this in the future, sometime, maybe. I guess we'll see where the fiction takes me.

I still have 2 more Korrasami Week prompts to complete now that this is done, so I'll be seeing you guys again real soon with the Bonus Day Prompt and then going back to finish fleshing out my idea for the 'Gamer Girlfriend' prompt.

Until next time!

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