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In the past couple of weeks James did everything he could to prevent this from happening, he got up earlier then usual and made his quidditch practice longer thinking more time out side would help, he made more jokes in class, organized pranks with the marauders, spend more time with Regulus.But none of it worked he still ended up like this, stuck in bed unable to do anything, not even brush his teeth, like something in his brain shifted and made him feel numb, like he was in a endless pit of darkness and he couldn’t get out.
"James?" Sirius calls him from behind the curtain "can I open the curtain?" Sirius ask but James doesn’t answer, he can't bring himself to answer "prongs?" Remus ask, after he doesn’t answer again Sirius open the curtain James closed his eyes pretending to be asleep "prongs get up you're going to miss breakfast" , James open his eyes
"I don’t feel well padfoot go without me" he mumble
"are you sick?" Remus ask "do you want to go to poppy?"
"no m'just tired" he mumbled
"okay prongs" Sirius closed the curtain again
James heard them whispering and leaving the doorm.
He turned to lay on his back staring at the celling as he got lost in his thoughts, he thought that everything he did in the past three weeks was going to stop this from happening but it wasn’t enough, it's never enough.
He keeps thinking about how everyone see him, this happy person with a good family, a lot of friend, a relationship. What would happen if they see him now in his bed unable to get up, he bring a hand to his face to find out there are tears going down his face when did that happen? Was he crying when Sirius opened the curtain?
He feels pathetic, he remember the last time it happened it took him two weeks to get back to normal, he remember the look on Regulus face how sad he loo-
Oh regulus they are suppose to meet today, James can already imagen the disappointed look on Regulus beautiful face, now he really feels like a piss of shit. he spend the rest of the day thinking, crying, staring at the ceiling and feeling like the most terrible person in the world.
"james?" Remus calls him, Remus doing here? Isn’t he suppose to be in class?
"Reg asked me where you were yesterday, I told him you're sick" James knows that Remus knows that he is awake the full moon a week away and that Remus can tell if he is awake by his breathing "I thought you'd like to know but" Remus stoped talking for a moment "should we be worried james? Last time-"
"m'fine moony" "just tired"
"are you sure?"
"yeah moons don’t worry"
"okay, you would tell us if something was going on right?" no
"yes of course"
"okay"
On the third day James stops eating the food peter gets him for breakfast and lunch feeling too nauseous to even think about food, he also stope answering to Sirius and Remus questions about what is going on, he stopes moving too not even turning in bed, the position he wakes up in is the one he stay in until he fall asleep again.
Fourth day
'im worried Remus its been five days' Sirius whisper but James still hear him 'I know siri I think.." James stopes listening he doesn’t want to know what Remus think.
The only person that's on James mind is Regulus, Regulus who he let down so many times already but stay with James, Regulus who's James was suppose to meet five days ago.
On the sixth day James wake up in the middle of the day to a soft voice he loved "James? Love?" Regulus, James can hear the how sad he is "Jamei can I open the curtain?"
"yeah" James mumbled
"oh James love" Regulus says as he catch sight of james , James can feel hot tears Running down his face "oh no love don’t cry" but James cant stop the tears he cant stop them why cant he stop them
"im sorry" "im so sorry reg" Regulus frown
"love don’t apologize there is nothing to be sorry for"
'There is' James wants to tell him 'there is so much to apologize for'
"I-I tried to stop it Reggie I r-really did"
"stop what sweetheart?"
"t-this I tried to make it go away I-I tried so hard Reg" Regulus turn his head to the room nodding to the door
Oh no no no no James realized now that there was someone ales in the room he hope its not Remus or Sirius he told them he was okay this is bad this is very bad
"its okay love" Regulus said noticing the new panic "its only Sirius"
This isn’t okay this is bad he can imagen Sirius face now with teary eyes and horrified expesion
"do you want to tell me what's been going on" he really doesnt want to tell him what's going on but for some reason he nods for some reason he let Regulus sit next to him and for some reason he start talking.
"i-its started a few weeks ago I f-felt like something was off and I knew it was going to get bad b-but I tried to push it I tried to make it g-go away but i-it didn’t it got worst and then I-I couldn’t get up like last time"
"oh my love" Regulus takes him into a hug and James buried his face in Regulus neck the familer smell washing over him "why didn’t you tell me or Sirius sooner"
"didn’t want you to be worried like last time" he mumble
"I always worry about you"
"I didn’t want to worry you more" Regulus chucled holding him tighter
"I love you so much do you know that? I love you and Sirius loves you and Remus love you and Peter and your parents"
"I love you too" "love you the most" he lifted his head from Regulus neck, Regulus gave him a small smile and kissed his hair.
After a while James calmed down "James?"
"humm?"
"I tell you this with all the love in the world okay you need a shower"
James laughed for a second before realizing how bad he didn’t shower, brushed his teeth, or did anything hygienic in six days
"yeah I agree" James smiled
"wait here and I'll run you a bath okay?" James nodded leaning to kiss regulus cheek "and a tooth brush" Regulus got up and James laughed a real laugh for the first time in three weeks.