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He really should have told Dick, he knew he should have. Dick never did anything wrong, in fact he was probably the best person in Jason’s life before he was murdered. So he wasn’t sure why he didn’t tell Dick when he came back to Gotham, cowardice probably.
The two had started off rough, Dick’s issues with Bruce spilling over into his relationship, or lack thereof, with Jason, but as time went on and Dick gave him a chance they had gotten much closer. By the end of his time in the Manor the two were pushing the edge of what would be considered “normal friendship” into what many would view as romantic.
On his worst nights Jason can recall the evenings he spent in Dick’s apartment in Bludhaven, surrounded by warmth and love for the first time since his mom died. Dick would bundle him up in blankets, because the other man kept his apartment at subarctic temperatures, and settle him on his lap, Jason’s face pressed against his neck. He loved Bruce but nothing compared to how safe and wanted he had felt with Dick.
Then Jason had to go and ruin it all by dying.
Things had been tense with the Bats and Co. They didn’t understand what he was doing as Red Hood and he doubted them knowing that he was their Jason would make the situation any better, would probably make it worse if anything. Nightwing, not Dick, he had to separate the two in his mind or he’d lose it, had been a bit better than the others, showing him at least a little kindness.
His heart still ached though, he thought time would make it easier but being so close but so far from what he wanted only made things worse.
Though he wasn’t focused on that right now, the pain in his chest coming from the gunshot wound that grazed his ribs and barely skirted his heart as opposed to his usual heartbreak. That was probably what he should be worried about instead of his endless pining for Richard Grayson.
His fingers brushed up, applying pressure over the wound. As the adrenaline started to fade he gritted his teeth, trying to push away the pain. He was lucky it was just a graze, the blood oozing sluggishly between his fingers. Despite it being a minor gunshot wound it had knocked him flat on his ass and he wasn’t too happy about laying on the dirty alley floor.
“Howdy Hood, you ain’t lookin’ too good down there,” fuuuck that was Nightwing, Jason really didn’t want to do this.
“Yeah,” his voice was gruff, “not feelin’ too hot,” Jason said, wishing he had something better to say but the bright white pain in his ribs was a bit distracting.
“Need a hand with that?”
“Fuck off, Dickhead,” he didn’t even notice when it slipped out of his mouth, falling back into old habits. Jason did, however, notice when Nightwing tensed up beside him, despite how brief it was before Dick forced his body to relax.
“That’s not very nice.”
“Who cares?” Jason had started to slur his speech.
He caught as Dick’s eyes drifted down to his hand over his ribs, blood still steadily leaking from the wound. Oh, it was worse than he thought.
“Alright, I’m gonna help with that and you gotta pinky swear you won’t shoot me when I touch you,” Dick said, moving a bit closer.
“Oh you can touch me whenever you want, pretty boy.”
“Ok, ignoring that, let’s get you wrapped up.”
Dick’s hands were gentle as they wrapped gauze around Jason’s chest, his brain urging him to push up into the warmth they provided but the pain prevented him from moving much. He winced, biting back a pained whine, when Dick pulled the gauze tight, applying pressure that, logically, Jason knew would help stop the bleeding.
His head was fuzzy, every thought felt like it was surrounded by cotton. The pain had faded away, no longer burning bright white and hot under his skin, instead just a mild discomfort that pulsed over his ribs. He reached up, ignoring Dick’s protests that he was messing up the dressing, grabbing at Dick’s arm, drawing him closer.
“Missed you Dickie.”
A tear slipped down Jason’s cheek when Dick flinched backwards, stealing all the warmth that had eased Jason’s pain. He couldn’t bite back the whine this time, the noise distorted as it came out of his helmet.
“Who the fuck,” Dick cut himself off, “doesn’t matter. Gotta get you somewhere safe, you’ve clearly lost a lot of blood.” The last sentence was muttered under his breath, more of a thought to himself than to Jason.
Jason felt like he was floating as Dick maneuvered his body around, moving him so Dick could get him up to his feet. His vision flickered in and out, only catching bits and pieces of what was going on around him. He wanted to be held again like when he was Robin, safe and secure against Dick’s chest. With the memory of being small and warm he slid into unconsciousness.
The smell of Dick’s cologne greeted him as he woke up, eyes still closed. Jason took a moment to savor the comfort of it all, the familiar scent and weight of Dick pressed up against his back. Wait. He sat upright, throwing Dick’s body sprawling across the bed and causing his ribs to protest.
Dick groaned from beside him, clearly still trying to wake up, but Jason was focused on other things. His hands shot up, ribs still throbbing in pain, before they hit the bare flesh of his face where his helmet should have been. He threw the blanket off himself, discovering he was clothed in what was certainly Dick’s shirt and sweats, which sat just a little too snug around his thighs.
“Hmm, too early Jase, back to sleep,” Dick’s voice was muffled into the pillow.
“Dick,” Jason’s voice was curt, sharp in a way he hadn’t intended. It had the desired effect of drawing Dick’s attention.
“Wait! Fuck! Jason are you – I’m not – you’re real this time?”
Jason would need to unpack that statement later.
“Yeah Dick, it’s me,” he sighed out.
Suddenly his arms were full of a very tearful Dick Grayson. While he didn’t specifically plan on this, quite the opposite really, he found he couldn’t be mad with Dick’s familiar weight pressed against his non-shot side.
“I thought I’d just gotten you back, and you passed out, and I was gonna lose you, and I didn’t even get to tell you–” Dick cut himself off, gasping around sobs as they tore themselves from his chest.
“I’m here, you got me, I’m ok.”
Jason drew Dick closer, wrapping both arms around him, ignoring the twinge in his rib cage. He pressed his face into Dick’s hair, breathing in the scent of his shampoo and cologne. The familiarity of it all made him forget, even if just for a brief moment, why he deprived himself of this.
Dick tilted his head up, catching Jason’s lips in a soft kiss, pressing his hand over Jason’s heart, and for once Jason let himself wonder if he could truly have this happiness.