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“ACE! C’mon dude get up!”
What?
That was a familiar voice, a friend.
But how? I wasn’t supposed to be able to see them..
I was being yanked up by the arm, the sun nearly blinding me.
“Hey heyheyhey!! Ow!! Stop that dude!” I whined, sitting up.
Dragon had been trying to pull me up, a jokingly annoyed expression on his face. “There we go, jeez. The disaster scare you that much?”
He laughed, and I did too. We were in the natural disaster survival experience, a very familiar place for me.
“Yeah…something like that…” I trailed off, pushing myself to my feet.
Purple and Sixty4 weren’t too far away, we made our way over quite quickly. We even raced each other over.
“Look who I woke up!” Dragon had called when we got over to the group, his statement was met with cheers from the others.
“You were out all round, dude! Even before, in the lobby! You just passed out!” Sixty laughed, placing his hand on my shoulder.
I just laughed and nodded, staying silent while the others talked; it felt nice to be in their presence again.
We went through a few more rounds, cackling whenever any of us got sniped by flying debris, or trying to hold on to each other when there was hardly any room to stand.
“I missed you guys…” I mumbled half-heartedly, not even sure they’d hear it. Apparently Purple had.
She turned to me, a sympathetic smile on her face. “We missed you too, Ace.”
We were sitting on the edge of the lobby, waiting for the next round. The others were making bets on how many disasters we’d have, Sixty wanted as many as possible, which was seven. Dragon wanted one, maybe two. Purple didn’t know how many she wanted, but she was saying outrageous numbers.
The next round loaded and…there was nobody else around.
I looked back at the lobby, and even though it was still in the distance, I could tell that it was empty.
“NO!” I yelled, the sound coming out hoarse. It went dark next, all the colour draining.
I flung into a sitting position, already feeling the panic set in.
I was in my room again, the same as every day now, but I couldn’t find something to ground myself yet.
I could feel the tears already coming, I didn’t even try to stop them. I missed my friends, I missed them most days, now more so than ever.
I didn’t want to see them here though, because that would mean they suffered the same fate as me, as everyone here.
I buried my head in my pillow, trying to muffle my sobs so I wouldn’t attract more attention than my yelling had. My tears kept coming, like most nights; choking me and draining the air from my lungs.
I curled in on myself, shaking worse than I ever had in the cold. My sobs only grew louder every few minutes, I was practically shouting again.
Why did this affect me so much? That I couldn’t answer, the grief had always been there, sure, I was able to distract myself. I played games with Brandon, told stories with Sean, but none of it could fully distract me from the void in my heart. I didn’t think the grief was that much, but now I knew that it was weaved into my very being.
I didn’t even hear the door open until there was pressure on the end of my bed.
“Had a nightmare too..?” The voice was gentle, quiet. I recognized it quickly, Brandon.
I nodded, finally having something to fully ground me enough that I could breathe again.
“Something like that…” I looked up at him, sighing.
We just sat in silence, our presences calming each other down. We probably wouldn’t get back to sleep, I didn’t want to sleep again because I knew I’d dream of them.
He wouldn’t sleep because of the terror that his nightmares caused. That was okay. We’d end up asleep on the couch later anyways.