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48 BC, Pompeii
The Angel looked upset. He was sitting alone with a meal and some wine in front of him at the local thermopolium. Although he was looking down, Crowley saw his eyes were red rimmed as if he had been crying. Crowley hesitated. Maybe Aziraphale would rather be alone in his grief. Crowley was determined to know what or who had made his Angel sad though.
(Not his Angel. Definitely not his Angel, Crowley reminded himself.)
“Hey there, Aziraphale,” Crowley greeted and waved to the thermopolium owner who was working behind the counter. In a moment he had wine and food in front of him. “What’s up with you?”
“Hello,” Aziraphale sniffed. “Oh, nothing. Excuse me for not being good company at the moment. I just received some rather distressing news from Alexandria.”
“Oh?” Crowley took a sip of his wine.
“The library is gone. Burned. The news is unclear about whether it’s the whole library or just most of it, but the agreement is that it was mostly destroyed during the siege,” Aziraphale said. “All that information, all that human history wiped away.”
Crowley frowned.
“And how did it happen? Do the rumours say that?”
“As I understand it, Julius Caesar was besieged there, he ordered the soldiers to set fire to the Egyptian ships docked in the port, and the fires spread to the library,” Aziraphale said. “It’s all very confusing.”
“Julius Caesar, hmm?” Crowley said.
“I know the library wasn’t in all of its former glory anymore, but—”
“Aziraphale, it’s fine to feel whatever you feel about it. I’m sure they will rebuild the library soon though.”
“Do you think so?”
“Sure, why wouldn’t they?” Crowley said. “Besides, I don’t think old Julius is going to hang around for much longer. Just because he thinks he’s the alpha who commands all the other alphas doesn’t mean it’ll be like that forever.”
Aziraphale gave Crowley a questioning look.
“What do you know that I don’t, you old serpent?”
“Nothing! Why do you always think I’m up to something?” Crowley asked.
“You’re a demon,” Aziraphale said. “That’s what demons do. They’re up to something.”
“Touché,” Crowley raised his goblet to him. “This time I don’t know anything about it though. I’m just guessing.”
Aziraphale looked doubtful but nodded to him.
The thing was, Crowley wasn’t much into politics. There was always something going on with the people who wanted to make all the rules for the rest of the people, and Crowley couldn’t keep up with all of it. But he’d met some Roman senators over the years and suspected that it wouldn’t take much to make them turn against their leader. They weren’t the most loyal bunch.
Maybe Crowley should try to have a chat with Brutus. He might have some ideas.
The main thing was that upsetting his Angel should have some consequences, and Crowley had a plan.
2026 AD, The South Downs
“Crowley, have you heard about this new holiday the youth are celebrating on the internet?” Aziraphale asked.
“The youth are always up to something new. No, I haven’t heard.”
“Well, it’s not a real holiday of course. But they’re treating the Ides of March as if it’s still a big celebration. Making jokes about the murder of Julius Caesar and tyranny. Isn’t that an odd thing to celebrate?” Aziraphale frowned.
“If I remember correctly, you weren’t the biggest fan of Julius Caesar?” Crowley pointed out.
“Of course not. The man was quite deranged. I wasn’t sad to hear about his death, but I didn’t celebrate it either,” Aziraphale said. “One shouldn’t revel in the death of someone, no matter who they are.”
Crowley raised an eyebrow but didn’t comment on it. He had a clear memory about the Angel being in very high spirits after the Ides of March, 44 BC. They’d even had dinner together to mark the occasion.
“Who would even come up with such an idea?” Aziraphale wondered. “It’s such a silly thing to commemorate a political assassination that happened millennia ago.”
Hiding his smirk with a cough, Crowley didn’t mention that he’d posted some memes about stabbing a Caesar salad years ago to inflame and encourage the meme. The humans had done the rest as humans tend to do. That’s what one gets for upsetting his Angel.
(Very much his Angel these days.)
“Yeah, that’s odd. Who would ever do such a thing?” Crowley said. “Anyway, how do you feel about having some salad for lunch today, Angel?”