Chapter Text
Ruyi stare at rongpei back as she went to change the cold tea, knowing it will the last time she will see of her loyal head maid, her heart ash from the idea of leaving her behind, not just her, hailan, yongji even sanbao and her other servants and all her harem little sisters all of them satyed by her side till the end, but she can not help it she can feel it coming, all the strength leaving this ill body of hers, she wonders what will they do after she die? what will he do? hongli-no hongli died long time ago- qianlong who also his back was the last thing she saw of him, she wonders will he respect her last wish? does it even matter? she will be already dead...
ruyi sigh and put the letter that she prepared for yongji next and rest head looking at the sky it was a clear night, "twenty-six years?" ruyi ays to herself thats how long their marriage was, when she was a young bride she expected it to be longer than this but she guess no one can forsee the fate itself, she wonders... where did her life go wrong? was it when she befrieded hongli or when she married him? maybe she should have married someone else? the 3rd prince? no... as the a woman of the qing dynasty as a daugther of ula-nara clan she never had say in whom she will marry, ulanara qingying eldest daugther of Ula-Nara Yuanqing was always destined to be a part of imperial family.
maybe she has no one but herself in the end, it was her naiveness, her easily forgiving every mistake hongli made, her ignoring every sign of something bad will happen or has happened to a woman in the harem and calling the natural course of the harem, ruyi realized it too late but her inaction at the end- she would say she was sticking to her morals that she did not have choice but her father died yonghuang died yihuan died jingsi died ling yunche died her mother died many innocents died... if only she ha-...
she can feel it coming... her eyelashes closing... in the end it does not even matter...
ruyi body gone cold...
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tw: Panic attack
she see a mirror in front... "huh?" ruyi thinks "is she in haeven? do they have mirrors?
"mistress, this servant will cumb your hair" ruyi felt chills at the voice she just heard, she looked around only to see a’ruo in behind her standing holding a cumb about to do her hair, "ha" ruyi let ou a short laugh "it looks like I am in heel sinece you are here". a’ruo eyes widen at the sudden insult from her mistress and try to hold her tears "mistress you just lost your aunt last night so this servant will take this insult to heart" as she say that ruyi look at her in confusion she look around is not this her room in the prince manor? she sees suoxin looking at her with worried eyes "mistress, your breakfast is ready have som-". both a’ruo and suoxin get jumpscaed at ruyi suddenly satnding from her chair walking through the two looking around in horror this as more realization hit her the horrified she become, it may have been decades but she can definitely still recognize it, it her own bedroom when she was asecondary consort in the prince manor, she go to the door as a’ruo and suoxin call for her "mistress where are going?"."mistress!"."mistress you can not go out like this!"."mistres! wait!! please wait!!"."mistress!".
she opens the door and step outside the more she look around-while ignoring all the confused servants looking at her- the more it is confirmed, this is not a dream this is- "what the?" ruyi turn to the voice it is xiyue satnding next to yuyan with raised eyebrow smirking and qiying hloding her laugh, they look at her in beetwen mockery and confusion young healthy alive. before they say anything to her a’ruo and suoxin gently druve her inside the room, suoxin order the other servants to leave.
ruyi went to her dressing table searching until she found the braclet langhua gave her at her wedding and she found the seeds that caused infertility there is no reason this will be in her dream or after life. she ask "what year is this" a’ruo and suoxin look ate each other worried and confused and a’ruo ask "mistress what is wrong-" ruyi cut her "answer me!" souxin answer "It is the seventeenth day of the third month in the first year of Qianlong’s reign, mistress. The court is still in mourning for His Late Majesty".
horror now fell all on ruyi face "no... NONONONO! NOO! GET ME OUT!" ruyi start yelling and pulling her hair "THIS CAN NOT BE! PLEASE TELL THIS NOT TRUE!" "mistress?! mistress what is wrong?!" a’ruo ask horrified and souxin try to calm her "mistres please! we are in mourning you can not act like this! you could vent your grieve at us as much you want but please calm down". "DO NOT TOUCH ME! GOD WHY AM I?! WHY AM I HERE! HERE OF ALL PLACES?! IS THIS MY DIVINE PUNISHMENT!! FOR WHAT!!!" ruyi kept yelling and pulling her hair a’ruo try open her hands so at least ruyi hair will not be ruined but ruyi wont let them take a step closer and the two maids dont know what to do.
as suoxin turn to get imperial physican "jie jie?" hailan call entering with luyun and wanyin behind her three looking at her with worry, suddenly ruyi stoped yelling looking at hailan "ah hailan is her too?" the room was silent for a minute then went to panic again when ruyi falls back fainting.
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"your majesty, rest assured her highness was only tired from mourning and the grieve with the lack of sleep and crying, it may have took a tool on her and could not tell the diffrence between a nightmare and reality which may happen from extreme exhaustion and shock" ruyi hear a man voice which she immediatly recognize as imperial doctor qi, she slowly opening her eyes her entire body is waek that she almost ent back to sleep then she hears a voice that brings back to reality "is there something we could do?" it was hongli voice the who abndoned her betrayed broke her, "your majesty do not worry i will describe a medicine that will help her highness and with some sleep" imperial doctor qi stoped talking as ruyi slowly sat in her bed, hongli looked at her with relieve "qingying you are awake? you are ill please lay back" as he reach to help her "you are really like a ghost? haunting me everywhere" her saying that with a chilling voice made everyone feel nothing but cold at lady ulanara for what she just said to the emperor of heaven.
hongli confused try to rach for her "qingying?" ruyi snapped away "DO NOT TOUCH ME!!" hongli flinch at the cold voice his qingying never had such expression that is full of resentment and to him nontheless does she blame him for her aunt death, he fell a pain in his heart as if someone stabbed it. ruyi continue her rumpling "you insulent man! you ruined my life!" hongli froze at these words feeling his heart being stabbed again.
luyun scared knelt and everyone followed "you majesty! please do not take cefujin words to heart! it is only grieve talking!" hailan back her up "you majesty! you heard imperial doctor jie jie is ill she does not know what she is saying please do not be angry at her!" then wanyin follow "your majesty knows cefujin best she was always gentle she is just ill right now" everyone kept pleading as ruyi kept her rumble "get me out! get me out! get me out! get me out! get me out!" she suddenly falls to side as hongli catchs her before falling, he does not know what to do then he notice something as emperial doctor qi try to resolve the situation "your majesty, her highness is truly ill i will give now a medicine that will help her" but hongli does not answer he look at the old doctor horrified "she is not breathing".
as the air is cut from her lungs ruyi eyes go again into darkness.