Chapter Text
It was a hell of a way to die.
Even if we both knew it would come eventually. Time is an ugly thing. If only I could see you one last time.
If only you would see me, one last time.
~~~
The stone scratched at her skin as she traced her fingers over the carved letters. For someone so complex, it felt like a crime to see something so simple used to describe her lover.
Golden specks of light started to filter through the leaves above. Oh, to have loved and lost. Maybe that is worse than not loving at all. Elaine looked at the red roses in her hand and felt as though she was choking - as though her heart had been ripped out far too soon. The one person who was hers. Ripped from her arms; far too soon.
The grass was dead and crunching under her feet as she left. Left a part of her. It wasn’t until her hands were on her steering wheel that she realised she had walked away. Elaine pressed her forehead against the dark leather and felt tears run down her face.
Time stops for no one. So she left. Elaine found herself at home in her shared - originally shared apartment and pulled the stained cat plush off of the bed. It felt warm. The fabric was fraying and there were loose threads, but it was hers. Theirs. Life was far too cruel a fate for them. But maybe, just maybe, death was a mercy.
~~~
Liara was going to die. Right here. Right now.
She clawed at the surface, cutting through the water. Air bubbles floated to the surface; Liara didn’t. No. She sank. She sank further into the depths. She tried to swim, but her limbs wouldn’t listen.
The first rule of survival was to stay calm. She’d thought she would be able to follow that if push came to shove. Liara was wrong. This time it wasn’t a moment Elaine would laugh at later.
Fuck. She was leaving Elaine behind.
It wasn’t fair.
Elaine deserved more.
So, so much more.
Maybe Elaine would find her soulmate if Liara was gone.
Maybe Liara was trying to comfort herself.
Then it went dark. The waves stopped crashing and her struggles stopped cutting through waves.
Just like that, she was gone.
~~~
The funeral was bittersweet.
It was all that Elaine would have wanted for her love, but it still didn’t feel enough.
It hurt.
Everything hurt.
The speeches felt fake. No word said could truly encapsulate the joy, love - everything, no, anything, Elaine felt when she looked into Liara’s eyes. It was a betrayal.
That she was still here. Yet her love wasn’t.
The choking feeling came back. Her throat closed up and droplets fell from her eyes.
Gosh, why was everything so difficult?
Seeing Liara’s face so peaceful wasn’t as comforting as she thought it would be. As she placed a bouquet of red roses in Liara’s hands, Elaine felt suffocated. But she had to stay strong; if not for her, then for Liara. Because Liara wouldn’t want her to cry. On the contrary, she’d try anything in her power to stop Elaine from crying.
She wouldn’t be able to solve it this time. Maybe the next; maybe the time after the next, but not this time.
This time, Elaine would have to deal with it alone.
Elaine’s knuckles were white against the mahogany of her lover’s coffin. At least the flowers were getting watered.