Chapter Text
<I_AM_BIG_KEVIN> Hey, Andre.
<I_AM_BIG_KEVIN> No pressure, but I confirmed my idea for a contained trial should work with pretty bare minimum fuss.
<I_AM_BIG_KEVIN> When you feel ready, lemme know and I'll walk you through.
<AndreW2002> yes
<I_AM_BIG_KEVIN> Yes?
<AndreW2002> im rdy
<I_AM_BIG_KEVIN> Right. Should have figured.
<I_AM_BIG_KEVIN> Let's meet up 10 tomorrow. I'll go over the details.
<AndreW2002> k
—
The little courtyard outside the castle has started to truly come into its own. Neatly planted flowerbeds surround a central fountain.
SIDIsquish: assi your so good at building :3
thank you andre
Conzercheez: you really are
Conzercheez: red terracotta under the water gives kinda a blood vibe tho
i am aware andre
Conzercheez: honestly fair
Kevin is waiting by the fountain, glancing into it occasionally. He looks up as Andre bounces in, Assimilation wrapped around their shoulders in their insubstantial form.
“Morning,” he calls. “This isn't gonna be too long a briefing, just the basics…”
Andre nods, slowing to a stop.
SOUPBEGONE31: fucking finally
SOUPBEGONE31: god im so hype for this
xx_E-G-O_xx: yea were aware
SIDIsquish: you never shut up lollll
SOUPBEGONE31: stfu. die
Conzercheez: hey maybe lets focus on being told about how to kill ghosts or whatever
“Right!” Kevin claps his hands together, straightening up. “First things first - I'm sending you in underprepared.”
Andre tilts their head.
SOUPBEGONE31: wtf
feargeyt6774: :pepefear:
what do you mean by that Kevin
Kevin jolts, half-stepping back - then just as quickly as it came resumes his old position. “Ah! Well. Great question, Assimilation…”
Conzercheez: hm
SIDIsquish: if hes mean im gonna kill him
xx_E-G-O_xx: idk might just be tired
“The entity you're going after, if I've done this right, shouldn't be able to really hurt you. My client will make damn sure of that.” He grins, making the mustache shift on his face. “But when I took it on, I had tools beyond the client. You won't.”
SOUPBEGONE31: ig that makes sense?
Conzercheez: does he not trust us
SOUPBEGONE31: dude its a training thing
“It's for training,” Kevin continues. “I didn't start out with all the stuff I have, you know? I figured out what I needed job by job and coded it. So I want you to go in there and work it out. You have a hell of a lot more information than I did to start, so…” He shrugs. “And if it turns out to be absolutely unstoppable, no worries. I'll be hanging behind at spawn and watching you with freecam, so I'll come to the rescue if things go wrong.”
Andre nods, idly bouncing on their feet. Assimilation wraps around a little tighter to steady themself.
SOUPBEGONE31: we are gonna solve this entity so hard
SOUPBEGONE31: we are gonna defeat it with our raw power
SIDIsquish: im just gonna stab it
xx_E-G-O_xx: im so glad you two are prepared
xx_E-G-O_xx: all that training for our great strats lol
<AndreW2002> k
“Great.” The grin widens. Kevin leans towards them.
“So, you ready to summon Satan?”
—
Summoning Satan turns out to be remarkably dull.
Andre stares at the menu, typing in the seed again - just three sixes in a row. The world generates.
It's perfectly normal.
They quit again.
SIDIsquish: NOOOOO
SIDIsquish: I SIGNED UP FOR COOL ENTITY FIGHTS NOT MORE RESETS
SIDIsquish: LEMME OUT LEMME OUT
SOUPBEGONE31: he said he got it like one in ten when he was testing
SOUPBEGONE31: way faster than seedhunting
SIDIsquish: nooooo
xx_E-G-O_xx: do you think well ever get any better at patience
Conzercheez: absolutely no chance
They generate the new world.
It's almost identical to the last, except–
In the sky, a handful of inverted crosses hover, bright red against the dark sky.
Conzercheez: oh here we go
SIDIsquish: FINALLY
feargeyt6774: :pepefear:
SOUPBEGONE31: dw he said itd be harmless
Conzercheez: probably harmless. if he was right
feargeyt6774: :pepefear:
They start across the grass, a bounding, leaping run. Assimilation holds on closely, scanning the environment.
something is present andre
i think i can see a certain quality of the light andre
but it is very diffuse right now
i cannot trace its source Andre
Conzercheez: dw about it thats still gonna be handy as hell
SOUPBEGONE31: hell yeah we can totally get an advantage
Conzercheez: wait if you can sense entities what the hell is collins world like for you
There's a momentary pause.
it is
“a lot”
andre
Conzercheez: sounds about right
There's a notification at the bottom of their vision letting them know I_AM_BIG_KEVIN has joined the world. They turn, offering the distant figure a quick wave before they resume running.
<I_AM_BIG_KEVIN> Jeez, not even a second to set up the camera mod.
<I_AM_BIG_KEVIN> Have fun!
SOUPBEGONE31: fuck we werent meant to run start yet
SOUPBEGONE31: whatever. whatever we took the initiative and we know for next time
SIDIsquish: lmao soup upset abt going too fast?
SOUPBEGONE31: fuck you
A village draws into view - half the blocks replaced with Netherrack, but still the loose shapes.
SOUPBEGONE31: ok find the blacksmith
SOUPBEGONE31: wait
Conzercheez: no actually might not be a bad idea
Conzercheez: grab some tools
xx_E-G-O_xx: lmao are we literally speedrunning the horrors
SOUPBEGONE31: who else is better at it
They duck into the worryingly meaty blacksmith, checking the chest. Three iron.
SOUPBEGONE31: SWORD
SIDIsquish: yessss
But as they're taking down the wood from one of the less infested buildings, working on crafting the sword, everything changes.
The sky goes all red, all at once, bright enough Andre shields his eyes on instinct with an arm.
Conzercheez: ???
feargeyt6774: :pepefear:
Text prints over the dark.
andre i do not intend to alarm you
in truth i do not think it is very much of anything andre
but there is something here andre
feargeyt6774: :pepefear:
xx_E-G-O_xx: alright here we go
SOUPBEGONE31: entity takedown time
They lower their arm.
A short ways away, there's–something. Vaguely in the shape of a human, although the limbs distort and jerk and pass through each other. It looks bloody, almost flayed, although the details are hard to resolve under the red light.
feargeyt6774: :pepefear:
feargeyt6774: :pepefear:
feargeyt6774: :pepefear:
Conzercheez: ok its not getting closer but i do Not like that
SOUPBEGONE31: assimilation wdym by it not being anything or whatever
only a little bit of the strange light rests in it andre
there is far more elsewhere andre
below the crosses andre
Conzercheez: ok so this guy is not the entity
SIDIsquish: its super gross tho
SIDIsquish: like ew
Tentatively, they thrust out the newly created sword. It connects with a spray of red, but the figure otherwise does not move.
SOUPBEGONE31: ok might be killable but not worth it rn
Conzercheez: i see a bunch more like it around
feargeyt6774: :pepefear:
SIDIsquish: grosssss
SOUPBEGONE31: get moving we got our goal
They run past, giving the jerkily-moving thing a wide berth as they cross over the grass and out into the desert.
xx_E-G-O_xx: hey is anyone else retroactively concerned that kevin sent us after like
xx_E-G-O_xx: satan?
SOUPBEGONE31: rly doubt its the real thing if its being used for training
SOUPBEGONE31: also we could kick satans ass
Conzercheez: lets not test this
almost there Andre
Conzercheez: hm dont see much
And then there's a loud thud as something lands on the sand, and their screen goes red.
I AM SATAN!!!!
It's a horrific screech, mechanical, distorted. Andre’s cat ears go flat against his head as he presses hands over the sides of his headset. Assimilation curls in tighter, almost disappearing entirely.
Conzercheez: OW
SIDIsquish: WTF WTF WTF
feargeyt6774: :pepefear:
SOUPBEGONE31: FOCUS
They crack open an eye. The world has stayed red, glaringly so, and the figure before them is half obscured by it. It's loosely humanoid, but absolutely could not be considered a human any more. There's what could be red bloody fur or shredded flesh, and a face wiped out by three long scars.
SATAN!!!
It comes with a popup infringing into their vision. They stagger back half a step.
feargeyt6774: :pepefear:
Conzercheez: ok we get it youre satan why are you so fucking loud
SIDIsquish: we have to kill it for being shitty
They brace–
And lunge forward.
The entity holds its ground. There's a mechanical squeal that could almost be laughter.
FALL TO SATAN!!!!
As Andre swings their sword down, the entity lunges out for a punch, and for a second as it connects the world flickers and distorts and warps–
And then the red fades from their vision. A tiny notification reads ‘Crash detected! DBAR-ing…’
Conzercheez: ohhh
SOUPBEGONE31: oh lmao
SIDIsquish: GET FUCKED
The entity swings again.
This time, Andre is faster with the sword, swinging it down.
It connects, and the entity stumbles back, hunched, dripping red pixels onto the sand.
STOP
YOU HAVE TO CRASH
SIDIsquish: NOPE :3
Andre steps forward, attacking again. The entity stumbles.
Assimilation uncoils just slightly, still faint.
is your plan just to kill it andre
SOUPBEGONE31: we have a sword. sword hits it. seems like the obvious
SIDIsquish: PLUS ITS FUN
SIDIsquish: and revenge for it hurting your ears
i do not have those andre
nonetheless i understand andre
Another step forward. Another attack.
I AM SATAN
YOU CANT KILL ME
STOP IT
It swings for a punch, which does barely any damage (although there's that jarring blur for a moment), and which lets Andre get in a counter attack.
SIDIsquish: ok yea entity hunting Is fun :3
SIDIsquish: not as fun to fight as assi but thats ok
Conzercheez: yeah it does kinda suck lol
it does not seem particularly suited to this andre
Another blow. This time, the entity all but runs backwards to create space.
YOU CANNOT DEFEAT SATAN
I AM UNSTOPPABLE
I WILL RETURN STRONGER
I
Whatever it was saying is interrupted by another strike.
Satan stumbles back, looking at them with a bloody and eyeless face.
ACTUALLY FUCK YOU
And then, just as Andre lifts the blade again–
Satan vanishes.
A message in chat informs them that Satan has left the game.
For a few seconds, Andre just stands there, staring at the empty space where Satan was, Assimilation peering curiously over his shoulder.
Then another message arrives.
<I_AM_BIG_KEVIN> Did you just make Satan ragequit?