Work Text:
If our love was a string
You could never move more than a few steps away
Because our hearts are tied together and intertwined
If yet our hands are not.
The Captain grimaced. That wouldn't do at all.
He glanced over to Anthony who was occupied looking at a robin in the bushes a few feet away.
James was trying for some time now to find words, the perfect words.
The results so far had been too unpolished and clumsy to share.
None of them moved so as not to disturb the little bird, but James' thoughts were otherwise occupied.
He took in the sight in front of him.
Anthony, still tall and lean, hands behind his back, the gray hair and high forehead that gave him an intellectual air. The scars on his face that spoke of darker times but also of bravery, daring and that dashing roguish air James felt they gave him only to be contradicted by those warm brown eyes that shone with laughter, care and love. That boyish smile that always made Anthony look like he was caught with his hand in a cookie jar. He was still ever so charming and beautiful.
James couldn't help but blush a little.
It was still early and they had reached the area of their walk that was barely frequented, but it felt still unwise to admire his dearest so openly.
James cleared his throat subconsciously.
The robin flew away and Anthony turned towards him.
“What a marvelous little creature. Shall we continue?”
James smiled and gave him a nod.
They both continued on their walk, four steps in between them as always and companionable silence for now.
James glanced at Anthony's content little smile that made his heart blossom with love.
7301 days ago.
Their first kiss.
James still didn't know if Anthony had pulled him close, or he Anthony.
What he knew was that he had felt like a bumbling idiot. Clumsy, inexperienced, vulnerable, overwhelmed by desire and terrified that Anthony would not want him, at least not after that mess of a kiss.
And Anthony had stopped him, gently. Had put his hands on the sides of James face and had kissed him. Softly, slowly, unwavering until James nervousness had fled, his hands and jaw unclenched and he started to mimic what Anthony was doing.
And then Anthony had smiled into their kiss and James had been lost utterly and irrevocably.
“You're in a good mood this morning” Anthony remarked smiling as his eyes fell back to his love. A moment before, his attention had been captured by a flock of birds that had landed in a nearby tree.
He was used to James sometimes drifting into the vast realm of his thoughts, getting lost from the here and now and he was glad that it was a mostly pleasant experience for him.
It wasn't always for Anthony so he stayed anchored in every moment to his best ability.
“Yes, affirmative,” James answered, smiling back. He wished he could squeeze Anthony's hand or tell him immediately what he was reminiscing about.
That was also something Anthony had changed for him.
An issue way back from his childhood when getting lost in his thoughts had been frowned upon and a remark on his good mood had been a hidden command to get a grip on himself, stop speaking and ideally go to his room where his emotions wouldn't bother his father.
After he had escaped their household and joined the military he had found quickly that his joy over the topics in his mind had been also frowned upon. He had been able to share them at least when it came to weapons but he could see the annoyance or ridicule on the opposite faces.
Being himself had always come with judgement and a feeling of being on the outside, when he himself didn't know what was so wrong and odd about him.
And then Anthony had entered his life and James’ monologues had turned into dialogues.
Slowly at first when he realised that Lieutenant Havers was just as knowledgeable about tanks, to them talking about Project William for hours.
Instead of getting annoyed or drifting away in his thoughts, he listened. Not only that, he was keeping up with James' thoughts and improved them with his own.
And then the other talks had started. Cricket, their lives before the war, the antics of Anthony and his sister in childhood, more cricket.
And suddenly there had been a room for him where he wasn't regarded as odd and somehow wrong. Where he wasn't on the outside looking in. Where Anthony, kind and gentle, looked at him with glee over the fact that he was there.
James belonged. For the first time there was a place for him and that place was with another person.
Losing that had almost killed them both.
But they had found each other again and it had felt like coming home to a piece of himself that James had lost for five very long, dreadful years.
And then…twenty years. 7301 days of falling asleep and waking up to each other. 7301 days of sunshine and rain, sickness and health, laughter, dance and love.
There was a gentle squeeze on his hand as the sound of their front door shutting behind them got James back into the moment.
He looked sheepishly up at Anthony, who smiled fondly and a tiny bit amused.
All this time and the look in his eyes still made James' insides fill with butterflies.
“Welcome back. Where did you go there, my dear?” Anthony asked with gentle, earnest interest and a smile.
“Home,” came the answer before James leaned forward and kissed him passionately which Anthony returned with enthusiasm.
When they broke for air, foreheads resting against each other, James felt the need to explain himself more.
“It's been 7301 days since I found you again.”
Anthony smiled into their kiss.