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Published:
2026-03-20
Updated:
2026-04-26
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15,237
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4/?
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oh gods, not again

Summary:

When you have gods who just can't keep it in their pants, the result is demigod children, left to deal with monsters that think killing them is a good enough replacement. And, of course, the gods need trustworthy lackeys to solve their problems. Not that Lily, Haewon, Yoona, Jinsol, Jiwoo, and Kyujin will be the chosen ones, right? (Nope)

Percy Jackson au: not a replacement, just happens alongside the events of the book

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Chapter 1

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

"Ouch. . ." a dark figure tripped over a tree root, falling forwards onto the ground. Luckily, all she felt were a few rocks poking into her back. As she sat up, she sighed, brushing out some dirt and leaves from her hair.

Yoona looked around, glancing about the dark trees. Nothing. She'd already run from a few snake people, wolf people, and dogs the size of a hot dog cart. Internally, she apologized to the hot dog cart man. Both for the free hot dogs and the dogs the size of Clifford.

She reached into her pocket, pulling out a folded square of paper. Mr. Brunner had given it to her, along with a warning to "Get to the camp." Grover had explained to her that she needed to leave before anything worse happened, other than the weird ram headed bus driver who'd attempted to drive them into oncoming traffic. And the strange math teacher who kept requesting private tutoring, citing that she smelled delicious.

The latter happened quite commonly, and she'd tried to tell people when she was younger, but all that had happened were some nicely worded "interventions." As she got older she could hear the whispers following her: 'About the troublemaker who needed psych evaluations over every adult she met.' Over time she'd learned to just ignore it, pretend it wasn't there. Pretend to be normal. Thankfully, this also stopped any more prescription drugs, all of which she'd stopped taking after the first time had her seeing a horse man fusion walking in broad daylight past the bus stop.

Yoona squinted at the map, trying to make out the marked path in the moonlight. Her phone was gone, knocked into the fountain when that Jackson kid had kicked up a fuss. She'd been lucky enough to have him in her classes at Yancy Academy. If she was being honest, it was hard enough for her to take the classes when she couldn't even focus on the words on the page, they always seemed to swim around, but it seemed the teachers would rather focus on him more than her. All the better for her, she preferred to just fade into the background.

Luckily, most of the other kids tended to leave her alone. If not, she could just ask them to go away. That always worked.

She looked around, listening for any oddly menacing sounds. Sensing nothing too odd, or scary, she walked into a clearing, spreading the map out on the ground. There on the map was a strange little red dot, which she had come to accept was some sort of magical GPS telling her location. As far as she could tell, she was close to the, "Camp Half-Blood?" she whispered, faintly making out the script next to the circle of buildings with an X.

The magic map wasn't anything particularly groundbreaking, after all, if dogs the size of horses and snake people were chasing her, who was she to question a piece of paper that would lead her to a "safe place for people like her." Whatever that was supposed to mean.

At least she was close. Luckily, she'd been able to convince a taxi to take her out of New York all the way to Long Island, where the camp was apparently located. Unfortunately, he'd nearly run out of gas getting there, so she'd decided to hike the final stretch and let the poor man make it back to a gas station before he broke down.

The forest meant she was approaching the back of the camp, and that she'd be safe soon. However, she'd previously been hiking through fields of grass in the middle of the day, and now she was venturing into a mysteriously dense forest in the middle of the night.

The lifelong city girl startled at every birdcall, insect skitter, and rustle of the trees, fearing a midnight ambush. Unlike her games, she only had one heart, and there was no such thing as a restart button either. She blamed the Minecraft horror mods, having impulsively downloaded several popular ones to try out herself. Needless to say, she slept with the lights on after that.

She folded up the map, sure that she was heading in the right direction at least, then stood, continuing her cautious stroll through the trees. If she ignored the past 24 hours she could even pretend she was just on a stroll of the Academy grounds at night. The nighttime sky was still the same, and the stars seemed to wink at her from the sky. There wasn't even a cold breeze anymore, and she couldn't hear any more noises from the forest. Looking up, she could spot the Big Dipper, and a few other constellations, still faintly glowing in the night sky.

All of a sudden, one particular star seemed to shine, growing in shape, growing closer? To her? It spiraled closer to her, larger, faster, ending with a spectacular white lump smacking her in the face.

"Urgh ack Bleh What?" she spluttered, blinking and trying to spit what felt like feathers out of her mouth. Stumbling backwards, her back hit a tree, and she hastily wiped at her face, plucking a white feather from between her lips and dusting fluff off her jacket.

A dove appeared on branch above her head, its chirp shocking her into falling away from the unexpected noise. She clamped her hands over her mouth, desperately trying to stifle the scream building from her chest. The bird chirped louder, this time sounding more insistent and hopping on her head to aggressively peck at her head.

"Get off me!" she whisper hissed, flailing her arms above her head. The bird seemed to glare at her as it took off, landing on a log in front of her. When she didn't move, it flew towards her, grabbing a few strands of her hair, tugging her forwards.

"What in the-, hey!" she screamed, falling to the ground as the bird nosedived, yanking her down by the strands of hair in its beak.

Just in time as a huge body sailed over her, jaws snapping shut in the space where she'd just been standing.

Yoona froze in fear, staring as the huge dog crashed against a fallen tree, landing with a huge crash that sounded a lot like the tree was the one that broke.

The bird tugged at her hair again, pulling her in a different direction. Luckily, her brain was already screaming at her to fLEE, and Yoona needed no more encouragement to run like hell.

She followed the bird, running through the trees before she reached a river. One with another hound waiting across the water.

Yoona gasped, her heart feeling like it skipped a precious beat as she skidded to a stop.

She whirled around, spotting the dog from before approaching from behind.

Shit.

The white bird was nowhere to be seen, and Yoona began to hyperventilate, swiveling her head to keep an eye on the huge dogs circling her.

"Now would be a good time for some help," she laughed nervously, her voice wobbling as she tried to back away in another direction.

Nothing but a rustle of the trees answered her.

The wolves lunged, and a blinding reddish light exploded.

Yoona slammed her eyes shut, her arms flying up to protect her head from whatever was coming next. Her legs quickly lost their strength and she found herself curled up on the ground, trying to play dead.

She felt a strong breeze brush past her, stirring a flurry of leaves and dirt against her body. There were a few yips, then quiet.

And then, strangest of all, what sounded like footsteps.

Steady thumps that were growing louder.

They stopped by her body, as if waiting. She tried to hold her breath, sucking air in and out as slowly as possible.

A few moments passed, until a low, raspy voice interrupted her panicky fight or flight stream of consciousness. "Hey, I know you're alive."

She felt a set of small bird feet land on her outstretched hand, stumbling around and gripping onto her skin with little talons. Next came a series of bright chirps, before it pecked at her flesh.

Yoona flinched, instinctively jerking her hand back and shaking the dove away. "You little rat of the sky," she hissed, jerking up and glaring at the bird.

The bird only chirped faster at a higher pitch, as if it were mocking her, if that was even possible. It landed on the shoulder on the figure standing before her, staring down at her while fluffing its feathers out, sitting like a content chicken ready to lay an egg.

Her eyes moved to the pale girl standing before her, dressed in a black jacket and cargo pants. She was also holding two dark swords, ones that seemed to suck in even the light shining down on it.

"My face is over here you know," the figure drawled, and Yoona stared up at her, gaze flicking down as the swords suddenly disappeared. Her skin was pale, and there was a slight quirk of her lips that indicated she was somewhat amused by what she saw. "Hail, Daughter of Aphrodite, lady of the doves, goddess of love.”

Yoona furrowed her brows up at her in confusion, "What are you talking about? Who are you?"

The pale girl chuckled, offering her hand out. "I think you need to thank your mother for that, but you're looking rather close to a goddess right about now." She reached down, grabbing Yoona's faintly hovering hand. "Come, I think you should take a look at yourself." Smirking at her, she grinned, "Don't worry," pulling her to her feet, "I do not bite." She snaked an arm around Yoona's waist, gently tugging her towards the water.

Yoona glanced at her, glared at the bird, then peered into the water. At first, she didn't see herself in the water, startling when she saw the figure without the bird on their shoulder mirror her movements. "Is . . . that, me?" the question slipped out breathlessly. She raised a hand, watching as the reflection did the same, touching her face. It was hers all right.

The pale girl next to her laughed, "Yes, she has a habit of making her children extra beautiful when she wants people to know they're hers." Her reflection turned to face her, "Though I do not think she needed to do much for you."

Yoona's eyes flickered away from herself, looking at her savior. "What do you mean, by my . . . mother? I'm a foster kid. Don't know her."

The girl chuckled, stepping away from her. Yoona almost missed her warm touch, the loose blouse and skirt she was now wearing was a little cool for her tastes, even on a warm summer night.

"I mean your mother is Aphrodite. And you are a demigod." She faced her, gesturing to her appearance, "She claimed you as hers, that is why you suddenly found yourself cleaned up." Turning to the small white dove on her shoulder, she pointed at it, "And that's why this little bird, a symbol of your mother, came to fetch me to rescue you."

Yoona stared at her, mouth falling open. "Do you expect me to believe you? What kind of nonsense is that?"

The girl raised an eyebrow at her, "Do you mean to tell me you periodically run through forests in this garb?" She waited, letting out a satisfied huff when Yoona stayed silent. "I assume you have witnessed strange events all your life, have trouble reading or focusing in classes, and you were directed here because someone told you that you would be safe at a camp, correct?"

She grinned, watching Yoona slowly nod. "Then I believe my explanation is not quite as nonsensical as you believed, hmmm?" Reaching a hand out, she gently lifted Yoona's jaw, shutting her mouth, "Now now, you mustn't let any flies crawl in."

Yoona flushed, standing there as the girl watched her in amusement. "Th-then can you get me to the camp? I'll be safe there, right?"

Bending into a slight bow, the girl grinned, "As you wish milady, your wish is my command." She extended a hand, leaving it halfway between them. "Now, unless you wish to walk the rest of the way, I suggest you take my hand."

Yoona watched her for a moment, giving one final stink eye to the bird on her shoulder, before gently grasping the outstretched hand.

"Take a deep breath," the pale girl advised, and Yoona sucked in a gasping lungful, watching as the darkness suddenly wrapped around the both of them, the space warping around dizzyingly. Yoona stumbled, the sudden sensation of weightlessness leading her knees to weaken and bend.

A set of steady arms held her up, pulling Yoona against her. "Sorry about that," she whispered, stroking her back, "I forgot how bad it could be for first timers."

The darkness melted away from around them, revealing what appeared to be a fairly idyllic summer camp, spotted with a wide assortment of cabins, a lake, outdoor arenas, and other assorted buildings.

Yoona stood up, looking around the camp. It looked so . . . , well, normal.

"Pretty nice, right?" came a voice on her right, and she nodded, staring at what looked like a strawberry field in the distance.

"Then, what do you want to do?" the girl asked.

"What do you mean?" Yoona replied, turning to face her, still marveling at what looked like a molten rock wall.

"Well," the girl gestured around them, "it is currently night. Most are asleep. You have several options." She pointed at a neat pink, blue, and white cabin. "That's Aphrodite's cabin, where her children sleep." She faced Yoona again, "But that means we would likely need to wake them all in order to introduce you and acquire a place for you to sleep, if there is even space available."

Yoona shuddered, the thought of introducing herself to a group of strangers while they were half asleep instantly enough to dissuade her, even more so at the circumstances under which she had arrived. "I don't think so," she grimaced, nervously picking at her perfectly manicured nails. "What are the other options?"

The girl pointed at another building, "There is the Big House, where the director lives, but he is out at the moment. I am sure there are a few cots or couches you could crash on for the night. Or," she stretched out the word, waiting for Yoona to look at her, "You could also sleep in my cabin. There are open beds and you will now be disturbed." She pointed further down the way, at an imposing dark building, with braziers burning with an unnatural green fire. "I promise it is more comfortable on the inside, contrary to the outward appearance."

There wasn't any need for Yoona to think, she immediately walked closer to her. "Lead the way, I really don't want to talk to anyone until I can sleep off this," she trailed off, gesturing around her, likely referring to her situation, " this madness." Honestly, she hoped it was all a state of delirium, and that she would wake up in her bed after staying up late playing Minecraft.

The girl grinned, her smile taking on a slightly understanding note, "Follow me then, I will help you settle for the night."

Yoona silently followed after her, head turning to scan the other cabins as they passed by, each one vastly different in terms of design and appearance.

"They are for the different gods," came her only explanation, and she stared at her back, silently questioning her. "I could almost hear your curiosity burning into my back," was her only answer.

Once they reached the cabin, (Yoona thought it looked more like a dark temple,) the girl pushed open a door, gesturing for her to enter. "Ladies first," she bowed, "I insist."

Yoona walked in, marveling at the rather normal interior design. It was a large main room, filled with curtained bunk beds, including several doors likely leading to bathrooms, or whatever rooms someone needed to live here. There was a rather dark prevailing theme, but it wasn't all black, just artfully dark colors that blended together rather darkly.

The pale girl brushed past her, walking to a dresser. "You can sleep anywhere you want, just not that one, so feel free to pick," she pointed at one bed, curtains brushed open. "Catch."

A silk sleep set landed in her arms, and Yoona stared blankly at the girl, holding the clothes.

"You can use the bathroom over there," the girl pointed, "it should be fully stocked for your use, and then you can choose a bed. Night."

Yoona stood there, watching, as she turned, grabbing a set of her own similar silk pajamas and walking into what she assumed was a bathroom. She looked at the clothes in her arms, and found she had no reason not to follow her instructions.

She walked to the door, pushing it open and flicking on the lights. It was a normal bathroom, fully stocked as the girl had said it was. Yoona appreciated the normalcy.

She stared at herself in the mirror, once again marveling at her appearance. There was evidence of light makeup enhancing her facial features, and, while she didn't exactly like the skirt and blouse, she could admit they looked good on her. Even the heeled boots from earlier were cool, even though she did swap them for slippers inside the cabin.

Turning on the faucet, she let the water pool in her palms, watching the water spill between her fingers as she lifted them to her face. One wash later, and it didn't seem like anything had changed. She leaned forwards, inspecting her face. She felt cleaner.

Yoona sighed, turning away from that question, she was too tired to deal with that. It wasn't a major problem, and she really just wanted to go to sleep. Preferably on one of those beds.

She took a quick wash, then gathered the clothes, quickly changing and folding her new outfit in a neat pile. Walking out of the bathroom, she set them on top of the dresser the girl had picked her pajamas out of. It was empty, so she assumed she wouldn't mind.

The bed she'd gestured as hers now contained a body, the curtain swept half closed.

Yoona paused, finally picking the bed closest to her, drawing open the curtain and climbing into the bed. It felt comfortable. Just, maybe, a little empty. She lay down, occasionally tossing and turning. There was nothing to comfort her either, and she recalled her old bed, filled with plushies and pillows. At least they could hold her when she was lonely. Now?

She lay there, staring, at the bunk bed above her, the wall, the curtain, even the pillow. But she just couldn't close her eyes. She let out a huff, and began to count sheep. 1 sheep hopped the fence, 2 sheep hopped the fence, 3 sheep

It was pointless.

Her body sat up, and she stared at her hands, slowly clenching and unclenching them. It's not like I have anything to lose. And with her decision made, she quietly hopped out of the bed, snagging the pillow to take with her.

Yoona climbed into the other girl's bed, poking her to get her to move over. "Can't sleep," she muttered, "Move please." At least she didn't immediately kick her out. The girl grumbled a little, clearly put out at having her slumber disturbed, but moved nontheless, leaving her a fair amount of space.

"You're explaining tomorrow," the girl muttered blearily, rolling over and tossing part of her blanket at her.

"Don't mind," Yoona yawned, curling into the fluffy heat source. "I'm Yoona. You?"

"Haewon," came a low, sleep tinged response, a hand gently stroking Yoona's hair. "Sleep now please."

Yoona snuffled against her, finally content to drift out of consciousness.

 

 

Notes:

longer (and more questionable) than i thought
what am I doing (the muse comes and what can I do)
Edit: 3/23 when editor "no comments" on 2nd half so hard u almost rewrite it (*/ω\*)