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the twitter story of david and the kingdom of saÜl

Summary:

Here's what I think the story of David and Saul would look like if they had the internet! (This is meant to be taken with a grain of salt.) Sorry, Jonathan.

Chapter Text

Mirab created a community: the Saul family
She invited @mykal, @jonathan, @kingsaul, @queen, and @eshbann

@eshban: Why bother?

@mirab: We never see each other to talk! (liked by mikal)

@eshban: I've been banished from our kingdom! (liked by mikal)

@mirab: and father goes crazy…

@kingsaul: this group is useless.

@mikal: with this group we can talk to eshabann and jonathan (liked by jonathan)

@kingsaul: We still have the mail!

@jonathan: Father, since the war and your new "tax," it's almost impossible to send a letter or even be sure of ever receiving it! (liked by all)

@kingsaul: Abner said it was a good idea though

@eshbann: Are members of royalty exempt from this tax? Because I don't want to pay to send you my tortures!

@queen: You're affected by this eshbann tax!

@/ mirab: That's outrageous! (liked by mikal)

@/ queen: otherwise, girls, where are you?

@/ mirab: I am in my room!

@/ queen: Don't you have anything else to do????

@/ mirab: Mom, I'm a princess! I can't do any more!

@kingsaul: Your sister is also a princess, and yet she concentrates on reading the holy scriptures!!

@jonathan: Can we go back on the tax?

@/mirab: yes… yes mykal is perfect, I understand!

@queen: If only you were like her…

@/ mirab: Excuse me, dear mother, for having my own personality!!!
If you only knew how much I hate you!!!
(Mirab has disconnected)

***...--*** on the official network! (Twitter version)
Statement from “King Saul” at 12pm: I am happy to announce that the rumors that I am ill are false.
I am doing well and anyone who says otherwise will be killed!
May God protect you.

Loved by the House of Saul, the Tribe of Judah, Jonathan, Abner, King Saul's Official Army, Eliab and 1,000,000 others.

 

*-* tweet from @lacommunautédejudas: meeting this afternoon on the king's statement.
Liked by Abner, Jessedejudas, Jordan and other members of the community

 

*-* @secretprincessemélancolique: why is my family such a shit!
I want to leave and live far, far away!
Liked by Angry Handmaids, myl_s, jonathan and 10 others

@esh_0's reply: same
// From @secretprincessemélancolique: Please tell me when I can join you!
// from @esh_0: give me a week

@myl_s's reply: Come to my room if you want to talk! (Like by @princessemélancolique)

 

*-* Gossip at the castle: Hello gossip, according to my latest information, a young man close to the king's army has joined the castle!
Stay tuned… next news tonight