Work Text:
In memoriam
He cut of the shopkeeper with an apologetic smile. “What will this get me?” he asked and showed how much or rather how little Xander had in his battered wallet.
The used salesman smile died and the older man behind the counter let out a noise of disgust, crinkling his noise as he did.
Yeah, that had been about the reaction Xander had been expecting.
“Just…” the man gestured towards one of the shop’s corners.
One of the out of the way ones by the look of things.
Were Xander wouldn’t draw attention to himself as anything more than just another customer there at the corner of your eye, not drawing enough to infect people with his poorness but certainly visible enough to make the overall numbers of customers in the shop rise and thus, make it more enticing for new people to fleece no doubt.
“Go browse that section,” the shop owner said with a scoff. “That should be within your…budget.”
Xander winced while doing as bidden, yeah, he didn’t like being poor either but what can you do?
Putting such dreary thoughts out of his mind he set about finding a costume for himself.
No, not that one.
He put back the cheaply made set that was admittedly within his budget.
That sword though looked—
Watching it flop sadly to the side the moment he lifted had him hastily shove it back.
What about, no. Only the mask seemed to be well made.
Frustration mounting he still searched like a raccoon through its prized trashcan collection and after a few more minutes when desperation almost had him re-consider whether that almost ridiculously well made and more importantly witch set would be that bad of an idea, he could wear it ironically so that should be fine, right?
Thankfully for his pride and a whole lot more.
His eyes fell first on a soldier’s set which while it didn’t look nearly as well made as the witch’s set, cost about the same and didn’t come with a blow to his pride included.
But as he made for it, his eyes fell on another set.
He hesitated before reaching for that instead, a small smile briefly lighting up across his face as memories belonging to a younger Xander flashed through his mind briefly.
Younger and happier.
Smile turning wishful he clutched his costume tighter.
Before looking around for a few more props and thankfully, both finding them and them being within his budget miraculously enough.
The shopkeeper rang him up with barely a glance and a scoff but Xander still sported that wishful smile.
Sure, life had taken quite the set of unexpected turns to say the least but all the same, as a gift to a younger him and an homage to a friend dusted by his own hands he could be selfish just this once.
The cheering voice of Willow as he and…as the two of them ‘sparred’ echoed in Xander’s ears as he walked out of the store.
Giggling like his priest bellow, Janus felt naught but amusement as the spell started.
Yes, this would be fun! Oh what great fun this would—
But in between one moment and the next, just as most transformations had finished, the last one gave him a bit of trouble.
Now it had nothing to do with either the young man nor his chosen set per say.
After all the mortal had little truly special about him, or at least nothing which would trouble an out and out god and bar him from going about his business.
Nor was the set all that interesting.
Sure, a…‘karateka’ as some of the mortals called them could be somewhat capable.
For a mortal.
And sure, in other parts of the multiverse some of them were scary but this wasn’t such a case.
This one had been but a simple martial artist, so why—
The sense of DOOM grew.
Of something unfathomable.
Powerful beyond compare.
The difference in might between it and Janus being more akin to the difference between himself and a mortal—no, a bacterium!
Whirling about in fear, he came face to face with…
“A beard?”
Blinking he realized that said beard was attached to a strong face and a set of glinting eyes.
Then of course he failed to realize a whole lot more as the first blow came, in the form of a punch.
Out of the beard.
And then came the roundhouse that sent him skidding in the astral realm and come to an end in a ditch carved with his own back and body, knowing, that the only reason he still drew breath after the power he felt, being that the god didn’t wish to kill him from the get go.
The thing in the shape of a man approached with unhurried steps, peering at Janus and his work both he felt and then, just as the god of doorways and transitions felt it was about to end the spell and his life, it landed on the mortal whose resonance had drawn its attention.
And snorted in amusement of all things.
Before vanishing.
Janus opened his mouth.
Then closed it.
Standing up instead and patting himself clean, he did the wise thing and decided not to draw attention to the fact it was still—
No, no, this was above his pay-grade and he wanted nothing to do with any of this anymore but at the same time he was wise enough to know, to get the implication really that the show must go and so unless he fancied another roundhouse he’d keep the cameras rolling.
Back on earth, Xander, or rather someone that looked like him a few years older and with a proper beard, opened his eyes, blinked and stood with ease, muscles limber and loose as he begun walking, posture relaxed but always ready.
No doubt radiating danger to those who knew what to look for.
And as it turns out, the terrified screams accompanied by ill-natured chuckles as he rounded a corner, not everyone did.
“X-xander!” the beautiful girl said. “H-help!”
Blinking, it was the work of but a moment before the mind of slumbering youth whose body he borrowed and tempered, shared the necessary info.
This was Cordelia.
She was…complicated.
At times difficult.
But with a good heart all the same even if she had difficulty showing it some times and someone which, the youth felt inclined towards at least somewhat.
“Oi! What you want?” one of the girl’s would be assailants turned and glared at him with a snarl, the act precocious enough that almost caused him to coo . But he didn’t. For he didn’t ‘coo’. “Can’t you see we’re busy here? Or do you want to die first?” the ruffian and his compatriots chuckled, turning towards him. “We can arrange that.”
“X-xander, run!” Cordelia said, as she realized how hopeless their circumstances were.
Or seemed too.
Smiling, he did nothing of the sort, slipping into a stance which He didn’t need to but the youth’s body very much did for Xander’s body was not yet strong enough to handle his full might, he drew in a breath, tensed, and executed a few quick punches and kicks as warmup, his body adapting and getting the hint with a satisfying sound of cracks and pops.
“Oh, we got a baddass over here boys!” the leering buffoon and apparent leader said as they advanced.
As for himself?
He smiled and nodded, this should be preparation enough.
Putting both foot back down he met the eyes of the vermin whose smile faded as at last, some vestigial atrophied part of its mind let it know that it had committed a tactical error.
But he gave neither it nor the rest of its cohorts time to despair for he leapt towards them bearing gifts.
In the form of roundhouse kicks.
The world hummed, trembled around them really and Buffy, resisting the urge to twitch or find the nearest bookshelf and start smacking her head against it, opted instead to take another sip from her cup of tea.
This was fine.
This was fiiiine.
For all that she didn’t care much for tea and biscuits, it still helped take her mind of the absurdity that her life had turned into.
Had turned into again rather.
And sure, she much preferred this absurdity given that her friend was on the side of angels like herself and, unlike herself, his…everything didn’t seem to come with a set of annoying obligations and the near certainty of a tragic painful death but instead, might even be able to help her avoid just that.
“He’s at it again, huh?” Willow asked and Buffy twitched before hastily taking another sip and bitting into the biscuit with a bit more effort than the poor tasty treat deserved.
“It would seem to be the case,” Giles said with a calm tone, showing little of the distress he must internally feel and no doubt share with Buffy over…over everything about this. “Young Xander is certainly zealous about training these days.”
More like obsessed.
Which wasn’t a bad thing in and of itself of course, especially given everyones occupation alongside her.
No, Buffy’s problem with the whole thing had little to do with her friend’s newfound zeal for training. Instead—
“Well, at least he now remembers to not push only one side of the Earth?” Willow asked.
Buffy twitched, her eyebrow joining her.
Absurd.
No other word fit.
For Xander’s pushups, seemed to…to…push away the Earth instead and when Willow had pointed it out to him, their friend had merely nodded as if just realizing or barely remembering it himself and then he, he…
“Right, I’ll add interval training to it,” he’d said and before they could ask what he meant, the world had started humming.
Asked about the new development Xander had merely shrugged while in the midst of doing another pushup and said that in between each rep her run to the other side of the world and carefully modulating his strength so as counterbalance the shockwaves, did one there as well before running back.
In the span of a second…no, dammit she should have spent more attention during physics. In the span of something so small that it was absurd her friend turned something run to the other side of the globe, did a push up then run back and appeared in the same position and to their eyes appearing as if he’d never left.
The humming of the planet stopped and then, a few seconds later the door to the library opened.
“Hey Giles,” her friend said, stepping in and looking far more healthy and beefy than he did before. And, at least, she could admit that the look suited him.
As did the beard he was starting to grow.
“Xander,” Giles said.
“This someone important?” he asked and lifted the head of some nasty bugger or other, the no doubt demon’s visage frozen in an expression of terror.
“Oh dear,” Giles squeaked and started rubbing his glasses.
“Run into him between reps and he didn’t look all that kosher to me so—”
“You roundhouse kicked him?” she asked with more snark in her tone than her friend deserved.
Xander shrugged. “Yeah, pretty much. Barely remembered to pull my strength enough so that his head survived.” He paused in thought. “The rest of him is spread over one of the Himalayans ranges, I think.
Giles polished harder.
Buffy growled.
This was bullshit.
Bullshit!
“Xander!” an excited voice said right after, jumping through the open library door and wrapping her arms around her friend. “I knew you’d be back after your workout! I missed you!”
“Hey Cord,” he said with a smile. “Missed you too, but kinda busy with some nasty blighter or other,” he said shaking the head.
“That ‘blighter’ is the Demon Lord—”
“Oh so you do know him! Cool, then you can take care of this!” Xander said with a happy grin before throwing the head like a rugby ball at the panicking librarian who managed to catch it. His eyes found hers. “We’re still on for tonight’s patrol?”
She nodded. “…yeah.”
“Cool, cool, see you tonight then Bufs, Will!” before turning and leaving with a giggling no good undeserving idiot in tow.
“Hate her,” Willow mumbled with narrowed eyes and while Buffy could understand the sentiment she instead cared more about the fact that—
“One of the Seven Great Evils…destroyed just like that,” Giles whispered but not low enough that she couldn’t pick it up with her Slayer senses, watching as he studied the inert and very much dead head with a complicated look.
Both eyebrows twitching, Buffy took a deep breath, plastered on a smile and with a mantra of ‘nice thoughts, happy thoughts’ she set about attacking her biscuits again.
Yes, everything was fine.
The door opened again and Xander peeked inside. “Oh, Giles, almost forgot.”
Startled the librarian had but enough time to look up before Xander stretched out his arm and a magnificent Spear that set parts of her on edge but also suffused her with a deep calm appeared in his grip.
Giles’ glasses fell and shattered.
“Found this as well, is it important?”
The head of the Demon Lord whatever also cluttered to the ground and rolled a few feet, starting to sizzle as it did.
“That’s…the Spear of Longinus,” Giles whispered and Buffy’s eyes widened, that she had heard about.
“Oh, so I was right to pick it up and that you’d know about it. Cool, cool, here you go then,” he said and threw the Holy Spear which imposibly landed upright but a few inches from a frozen Giles.
Her friend left again.
And Buffy, looking at Willow and Giles, both of them speechless as they stared at the Holiest of Relics, nodded.
With a roar she upturned the table and rose.
“This is Bullshit!”
And stomped out of the room in search of her friend.