Archive of Our Own ^beta

"If I have to sit through another meeting, I think I'm gonna die." Anzai said dramatically as he crashed into the booth at Café Pothos.

"At least it was more interesting this time! We got to talk about the after-party too." Nirei chuckled nervously beside Sakura and Suo as they walked in behind their group.

"Yeah, the after-party that happens after the two hour ceremony!" Tsugeura joined Anzai in his theatrics. Throwing himself in his seat, groaning and moaning about how boring it was going to be to have to be quiet and sit still the whole time. 

Sakura rolled his eyes listening to his classmates whine. The smell of Kotoha's food immediately made his stomach growl.

"Isn't that what you boys do everyday when you're in school?" Kotoha said sarcastically as she greeted the wave of teenage boys invading her Café. At least they had the decency to text her a heads-up this time.

The group in question had looked like they'd just come out of a brawl–but no.

Just meetings. 

Endless, soul-crushing meetings, and briefings on what to expect for the new school year. It was quickly approaching April, and with the change in seasons, came the change of classes. 

A new school year also came with the looming graduation ceremony quickly approaching. Hence, the boys’ current complaint: long droning meetings going over meticulous details that they'll all probably forget by the time the day actually arrives.

It was hard for Sakura to believe that their first year of high school had passed so quickly. Though, now that he thought about it, maybe it actually made a lot of sense. All the events happening one after another had kept the boys occupied, along with their time steadily sifting away.

Despite it being spring break, Sakura thought that their duties were as demanding as ever. Regular patrols, plus the chaotic planning of back-to-back events left him feeling drained almost everyday.

Sakura, Nirei, Suo, Anzai, Tsugeura, and Kiryu had decided that after today’s briefing, they all deserved a little treat to try and savor the rest of the beautiful March day.

Spending time all together with your friends, outside of school activities, was a fun way to spend your spring break–at least according to Nirei.

Sakura was more interested in the food than anything.

The boys settled into their usual table in the back corner of the Café. Kotoha came by to drop off a pitcher of water and took their orders before heading back behind the bar.

Quickly, the conversation shifted to another hot-topic as of late. 

"Come on Suo," Anzai said, leaning forward across the table. "You have to tell us!"

"I told you, I'm not much of a cake person," Suo said, as he shrugged his shoulders. "I truly don't have a preference."

Once the other guys had sniffed out that Suo's birthday was on the 28th, interrogations like these became a regular occurrence. 

Every time the topic of birthday's came up, Nirei was always quick to whip out his notebook–pen at the ready to jot down any new information they managed to squeeze out.

Which usually wasn't much when it came to Suo.

The small bits they did manage to get, Sakura was convinced that Suo only told them just to get them off his back. 

But hey, a win is a win. If the only thing they had to do was wear Suo down until he caved, then they would just keep doing that.

"Okay then, how about favorite food," Anzai probed with an investigative tone. 

“Yeah! My Mom says food is the quickest way to the heart!” Tsugeura added. “What a person likes to eat tells me a lot about their virtue!"

Sakura resisted the urge to shiver, his shoulders tightening slightly at his classmate’s comment. 

Although Suo seemed to consider this carefully, his hand came up to pinch his chin as he looked up, seemingly deep in thought. The boys around the table leaned in closer, waiting to hear what he had to say.

Then after a moment of thoughtful consideration…

"Anything’s fine."

The boys all groaned in unison. 

Anzai in particular struggled to resist Suo's rage-bait, his arms becoming more animated than Tsugeura’s. "Come on, man. You gotta give us something to work with!"

Normally, Sakura would’ve succumbed to Suo’s antics alongside Anzai, but this time he just listened idly to his friends' chatter. He rolled his neck and shoulders as he wondered how long it would take for the food to be ready.

"Yeah Suo," Kiryu leaned in closer, his eyes catching Suo’s with a mischievous glint. "If you don't tell us what you like. We might just get a big container of natto for your party."

This apparently had gotten to Suo, because the boy in question let out a nervous chuckle. "Hey now, let's not make any rash decisions. We can still talk this out."

“Nirei!” Anzai sprang up in excitement. “Write that down! We’re gonna need lots of natto!”

Nirei laughed as he looked between Anzai and Suo–the color seemed to drain quickly from the latter's face.

“You’re only making things harder on yourself,” Sakura spoke up for the first time since sitting down now that the group was becoming more animated. “These guys aren’t gonna quit. So stop with the mysterious bullshit. You're better off just telling them what they wanna know.” he leaned back in his chair with his arms crossed. 

“Oh,” Suo’s eye glinted with something–a look that said Sakura had just offered him the key out of this situation. “I don’t know what you mean, Sakura. You’re the mysterious one here.”

Nirei stiffened at Suo’s words, his face full of confusion. “Suo, what do you mean?”

Suo simply smiled as the others murmured to each other about what Suo could possibly be cooking up. 

“Huh?” Sakura lifted a brow as the others turned to look at him. He was way too hungry for this. “I don’t know what–”

“I’m just saying,” Suo continued, his usual shit-eating grin still plastered to his face. “It’s almost been a whole year since you’ve come to town–and we haven’t celebrated your birthday once.”

The table went silent.

Only the sound of footsteps followed by plates clinking and sliding across the table as Kotoha delivered with food, now a little more invested in eavesdropping on the conversation herself.

At the moment the boys barely noticed, they were still stunned silent.

“Oh. My. God. He’s right!” Anzai broke the silence first, his hands dramatically slamming the table around his plate. The cups and silverware shuddered from the impact.

“We missed it!” Tsugeura reached across the table and placed his hands on Sakura’s shoulders. The orange haired teen looked horrified as Sakura flinched at his friend’s sudden outburst. “I’m sorry! It's so unvirtuous to miss such a special day!”

Nirei panicked as he whipped out his notebook, his fingers flying through the pages, moving as fast as his eyes. “T-that can’t be true, I don’t know if I even have it in here.”

“H-hands off!” Sakura sputtered as he pushed Tsugeura’s hands away.

Suo on the other hand, watched Sakura with the shameless satisfaction that he had successfully shifted the spotlight off of himself. 

Bastard. Sakura inwardly cursed as his eyes met Suo’s. 

Nirei however looked close to tears. “Sakura, we didn’t miss your birthday? Did we?” he said with genuine worry.

Sakura’s eyes widened with panic at the sight. 

“No!” he blurred out before the water-works could start. “You guys didn’t miss it!” Nirei sniffled beside him, which made Sakura’s heart jump. “I-It just hasn’t happened yet! Quit crying!”

Everyone at the table felt a wave of relief knowing that they didn’t accidentally ignore their Grade Captain’s special day, and Sakura felt a wave of relief as Nirei’s tears slowly but surely started to fade away.

With his friends now mostly placated, he finally started digging into this food–quickly shoveling in mouthfuls like he hadn’t eaten in years. 

“Phew, that’s a relief.” Anzai said as he wiped fake sweat from his forehead. 

“Yeah, you said it,” Kiryu said with a smile, taking a small sip of his water. “So when is your birthday, Sakura?”

Sakura didn’t say anything, instead he just looked up at the boys between bites. Despite the warm food, a cold pit started to form in his stomach.

“Come on,” Anzai said, exasperated. “Don’t be like Suo, you gotta tell us!”

After a moment of consideration–and their insistent pleas. Sakura put his fork down, and slowly whispered, “April 1st.”

The date sat heavy in his mouth. He mentally prepared himself for their teasing–it was horribly ironic that he was born on April fools day. 

Nothing good ever happens on that day anyway.

“April 1st?” Nirei repeated back, and Sakura mentally winced–preparing for the other shoe to drop. “Doesn’t that make you the youngest in our grade?”

…Huh?

“I think you’d be correct, Nirei,” Suo chimed in, taking a sip of his tea. “Sakura was quite lucky to be born a day before the academic year cutoff. Or else he’d still be in middle school.”

“H-hey! Wait a minute!” Sakura bristled.

“Woah,” Kiryu said with wide eyes. “That’s actually pretty crazy to think about.”

“That is lucky,” Tsugeura agreed enthusiastically. “I don’t know what we’d do without our Captain.”

Sakura just listened in silence. The word “lucky” echoed in his mind like a bad joke. His eating pace slowed as he listened to his classmates.

“Sakura?” Nirei probed when he noticed his silence. “Is there anything you want to do? For your birthday, that is?”

Sakura looked up at Nirei, his mouth opening slowly as he considered his words.

“Yeah!” Tsugeura cheered as he hopped on the opportunity. “Do you wanna have a party?”

“Of course we’re gonna have a party!” Anzai said. “What kind of cake do you want Sakura?”

Sakura’s eyes bounced between his classmates–the pit in his stomach grew deeper. “You don’t have to do anything,” he said after a moment. 

“What?!” everyone said in unison. 

“Nobody’s ever done anything before, so I’m fine–really!” Sakura was startled at their response. 

“Sakura...” Nirei looked like he was going to cry all over again–shit, he really wasn’t good at this.

“We’re just gonna have to go all out this year!” Tsugeura said.

“We have to have Omurice there, that’s for sure.” Kiryu commented.

“Oh! Maybe we can get Kotoha to make a bunch?!” Anzai said, catching the attention of the eavesdropping barista.

“Guys, seriously…” Sakura started, sensing he was losing control over the situation. His low voice didn’t register with the others. 

From behind the counter Kotoha seemed to consider. “I don’t normally do take-out, but I’m sure I could make an exception,” she said with a smile tugging at her lips. “As long as you guys do the dishes!”

“Wait–” Sakura tried again, head bouncing between Kotoha and his friends. 

“Done!” Tsugeura said as he rolled up his sleeves, starting to get up from his seat.

“I meant the dishes after the party!” Kotoha hissed as Tsugeura started to make his way behind the counter. Everyone laughed as Kotoha physically pushed him back from behind the bar.

Sakura’s stomach twisted into a tight knot as he lost every chance he had to intervene. 

It was probably too late now. 

Every question only seemed to make the room feel hotter, and his chair felt more uncomfortable. He shifted in his seat trying to squash this bubbling feeling in his chest. 

Even though Suo was the one who initially put him in this position, he was the first to notice Sakura’s hesitancy. 

“Sakura,” Suo’s eye pierced through his defenses, almost like the boy could see every little hidden tell. “Does something about your birthday bother you?” he said in a gentle tone.

Sakura straightened at his words. The other’s chatter died down as they waited for Sakura to answer–even Kotoha stopped what she was doing in favor of listening. 

Instead of answering right away, or blushing at the attention, Sakura just fidgeted with his fork, pushing the crumbs on his plate around with a far off look in his eyes. 

Seeing him so silent put the whole table on alert. All the enthusiasm seemed to drain away as the others watched their Grade Captain. 

After a moment, the others thought that Sakura wasn't even going to acknowledge the question. Until the quiet boy nodded his head silently–so small that you might’ve missed it if you blinked. 

Everyone felt a pang in their heart. 

Surprisingly, Sakura is the first to break the silence, his soft voice just barely above a whisper, “It’s always felt…I don’t know,” he started, but quickly lost confidence.

Nirei slowly reached over, placing a hand on Sakura’s back and rubbing small circles for support.

When their eyes connected Nirei spoke. “You don’t have to explain if you don’t want to.”

Sakura considered this, but part of him didn’t want to leave his friends in the dark–he wanted to be honest. He’s already trusted them to learn about his mother, so maybe telling them about this would be okay too.

“It just feels wrong,” Sakura started again. The others pinched their brows as he spoke, but nobody interrupted him this time. “Celebrating the day…the event…that killed my mom…” Sakura looked down to his fork again. “I’ve always had trouble finding the joy in that.”

Sakura’s heart threatened to beat out of his chest by the time he got all the words out. The crushing grip he had on his fork threatened to bend the thin metal. 

“I guess what I’m trying to say is–I don’t want to celebrate my birthday.”

Sakura slowly looked up at his friends.

Nirei’s eyes watered as he looked close to crying again.

Suo had a hint of guilt swimming in his lone red eye.

Anzai, Tsugeura, and Kiryu sat there with their mouths opening and closing like a fish outta water, words dying on their tongues.

Sakura looked back down, the pit in his stomach only seemed to grow bottomless.

For a second, it looked like they were gonna argue, tell him that it was weird to feel that way–insist they celebrate anyway–but they never did.

“W-we understand.” Nirei's voice made Sakura straighten again.

Suo leaned forward, his eye soft. “If that's what you want. Then we’ll respect that. Right, guys?”

The other three shared a hesitant look amongst themselves. 

Anzai swallowed hard, “Yeah,” his voice was slightly hoarse. “We can do that.”

Sakura’s eyes bounced between them as they all nodded their heads. Only then did the knot in his stomach loosen and the gnawing in his chest thaw. 

A small smile tugged at the corner of his lips, “Thanks guys.”

The days that followed were a blur to Sakura, as time seemed to fly by at a ridiculous rate.

The first event on the calendar was Suo’s party, and the boys never did get a straight answer out of the Vice Captain regarding his cake. So they had to do their best to guess what he might like. 

Anzai insisted chocolate was the only sane option. Then, Tsugeura nearly started a shouting match after claiming chocolate was too ‘vanilla’. 

Which very much confused Sakura.

How the hell is chocolate also vanilla?!

The class was split after that. Some argued for a generic flavor: chocolate, strawberry, or vanilla. That way it was a pretty safe bet whether or not people would like it. 

The other half argued for an assortment of cupcakes, the variety offered the best chance of actually finding Suo’s favorite flavor.

Sakura half-listened as the class–mostly Nirei–fretted over the finer details of what it took to make a proper birthday party. 

Now, Sakura might not have had a lot of experience–if any at all–regarding birthdays, but he wondered why those things had to be there specifically.

Was a birthday party less special if it didn’t have a traditional cake with icing?

Which is exactly what he told the others.

Everyone was confused at first, until Sakura simply asked if tea-cakes could count as a birthday cake.

The look Nirei gave him–it was like Sakura had just handed him the most profound revelation of the century. 

So everyone had decided to get an assortment of Suo’s favorite tea cakes.

Sakura would never forget the look on Suo’s face when they surprised him, and the warmth that spread in his chest because of it. It felt nice to be the one who came up with the idea, and maybe now he could understand a bit better as to why Nirei cared so much.

The day after that was the graduation ceremony.

Sakura had never bothered to attend one at any of his previous school’s ceremonies. His excuse was either he had transferred away, or he just didn’t care enough about the people walking across the stage to show up. 

It also meant that he never attended his own elementary or middle school graduation. 

But apparently Bofurin students were expected to be more hands-on: cleaning up the gym, setting up the stage, lining up chairs. When it was all said and done, Sakura was completely exhausted by the time he had taken his seat with the others in the audience. 

People cheered and cried as the names of the third-years were called one at a time. Sakura couldn’t help the pang in his chest as it finally clicked in his mind–that things weren’t going to be the same.

The upperclassmen were leaving and moving on with their lives, and Sakura could feel his eyes sting as he watched Hiragi and Tsubaki cross the stage. It didn't help that Nirei was a blubbering mess beside him by this point. 

Sakura jumped at the thunderous claps and cheers that followed as Umemiya’s name was called. He could feel the reverberation in his chest, much like a firework, as Bofurin’s Representative finally crossed the stage. 

His throat felt unbearably thick as he tried to swallow.

If anyone asked–no, he didn’t cry.

The graduation ceremony was a hit, and the after-party was even better. Hanging out one more time at the school mingling with the upperclassmen over food and drinks was nice, and Sakura had a good time.

It was bitter-sweet when the party ended, and when they all said goodbye to the third-years once the hour got late. Leaving the remaining class reps to clean up. 

People always came and went, that was just life. Sakura knew that this wasn’t goodbye forever, but without the noise and constant chaos, there was nothing to drown it out anymore. 

It felt like he hadn’t even had a chance to breathe before it was already April 1st. 

He had woken up with a rock nestled deep within his gut. Ever since the clock struck midnight, his thoughts always seemed to drift back to a faceless woman.

His body felt heavy as he dragged himself out of his futon. He scrubbed his face, trying to wipe away the ache behind his eyes.

By the time he finally made it out of his apartment, it was already mid-afternoon. His body wouldn't move any faster, no matter how much he wanted it to. 

His shoulders were drawn tight as he made his way closer to the main street. Bracing himself for whatever his friends had planned for him. 

He remembered how much they were looking forward to celebrating before he stomped their enthusiasm down. So part of him expected that they would have at least told half the town by now.

Although, Sakura just wished that this day would go by faster.

“Good morning, Sakura!”

Sakura flinched as Mr. Nakamura called out his name. 

The older man was opening his shop for the morning with a friendly wave. He lingered there for a moment, Mr. Nakamura seemed like he had more to say, which made his heart naturally pick up in anticipation.

“Make sure to take care of yourself today. Stop by sometime with your friends; we just got a new stock of treats, and we always need taste-testers.”

Sakura just nodded wordlessly at the man as he retreated back into his shop. His racing heart finally slowed. 

He continued his walk, which followed the same routine as any other day. Friendly greetings, food being shoved into his arms, and smiling faces. His shoulders started to relax, nobody had mentioned his birthday, and he couldn’t have been more relieved. 

But even after meeting up with his friends and being surrounded by their good vibes. He still found it hard to muster any energy to make it through the day. 

Between Suo’s birthday, the third years leaving, and the old guilt eating at him from the inside–it felt like he had run out of gas. 

His body was on autopilot, just mindlessly going through the motions. Not really present in the current moment. Any down time meant his thoughts wandered back to her, a woman who he didn’t even know her name.

He knew he was worrying them. 

He could see it in the way that they casted sideways glances at each other–but today, he just couldn’t be bothered to put up a facade. 

His friends stayed close by, trying to act like they would’ve any other day of the week. 

And Sakura appreciated them just trying more than they could ever know.

It was April 5th.

Nirei had called him yesterday evening saying that the class roster of the Tamon Team first years was changed, and to meet him, Suo, and the other class reps at the school at 3:00pm to go over the last minute updates. 

To which Sakura curtly responded,

“Why the hell are we making changes the day before school starts?!”

His steps were heavy as he made his way to the school, and his teeth ground with annoyance. 

It took so many bullshit meetings this spring break to finally finish dividing up the fresh meat amongst the different teams, and now they want to make changes at the last minute!

It would have been fine, if he didn’t need to be there to vote on every little thing they did. 

Sometimes he cursed Suo for volunteering him to be Grade Captain. He knew about leading the class and all, but never thought about bureaucratic or administrative responsibilities that came with the title. 

Not until a huge pile of papers randomly showed up on his desk towards the end of the year. Nirei had to keep him from physically ripping his hair out when he found out.

He only had a few more minutes to curse past-him before he finally made it to the school.

Sakura’s scowl only furthered when he saw a tall, lanky figure leaned up against the front gates. 

Sugishita’s eyes narrowed, he was up against the courtyard fence with his arms crossed. Neither of them said a word to each other when their eyes connected. 

The hell is he doing here? Sakura thought to himself just as he was passing his classmate. 

Then all of a sudden his nose and body collided with something hard as Sugishita stepped out in front of him at the last minute, his phone was gripped tightly in his hands. 

“Hey! What the hell was that for?!” Sakura yelled as he rubbed his nose.

Sugishita, unfazed by Sakura’s yells, just continued to block his path as they stared each other down.

Sakura clicked his tongue. This definitely wasn’t what he had expected. His already thin patience was about to snap. 

“What’s your deal? Get outta the way!” Sakura tried again to push past Sugishita, just for him to push back. Preventing him from gaining any ground. 

Breathe.

Just breathe, Sakura.

He pinched the bridge of his nose as he took a deep breath and tried to settle the bubbling anger. 

“Look. Could you be a dick a different day of the week?” Sakura said in as calm of a voice as he could. “I got shit I wanna get over with.”

Despite Sakura’s expectations, Sugishita didn’t take the bait. The boy just stood there stone-faced.

He didn’t know what Sugishita’s deal was today, but Sugishita’s lack of reaction to his words was rubbing him the wrong way.

Sugishita’s long hair swayed as the taller boy’s eyes flicked between the phone in his hand, and Sakura’s face.

Sakura meanwhile, tapped his foot impatiently, a vein in his forehead was about to burst until Sugishita’s eyes widened at his phone.

“Follow me.” Sugishita said with his usual bored tone as he turned.

Sakura was stunned for a moment.

“Y-you can’t tell me what to do!” Sakura yelled half-heartedly as his brain still struggled to catch up.

They walked together in a tense silence the whole way.

“So where are we going?” Sakura asked as they passed the classroom. 

“Shush.”

The bubble finally burst.

“HUH?!” Sakura’s patience had finally snapped. “Did you get hit in the head or something?! Why are you acting like this?!”

Sugishita–still–didn’t react as Sakura yelled the whole way up the stairs to the roof.

“First, you block me like some sorta bridge troll. Now you're acting like a damn zombie leading me by the–!”

Sakura’s mouth shut with an audible click.

Sugishita opened the door, and Sakura had to blink as his eyes adjusted to the sun.

But then he saw it clearly.

“Happy Arrival Day!!!”

A chorus of shouts rang through the open air as his eyes widened.

The roof was decorated with colorful streamers draped all along the chain link fence. Balloons of different sizes were clustered together and swung side to side with the gentle breeze. 

Tables were set up with an assortment of delicious looking food piled high, his mouth watered at the sight. 

And there were people. 

Everyone was there.

Nirei was jumping up and down with excitement with Suo smiling by his side. 

All of his classmates were equally excited to see him as they waved him forward. 

The upperclassmen–previous and current–had gathered by the door. Tsubaki immediately pulled him into a tight hug, and Umemiya ruffled his hair. Sakura’s heart warmed at the chance to see them again. 

Even Shishitoren and Roppo-Ichiza were there, raising their cups as they smiled cheerfully at him.

Everyone from people he’s known since the beginning like Kotoha, and even those he had met somewhat recently like Momijikawa were there.

All smiling warmly at him.

“W-what is this?” Sakura said in Tsubaki’s arms as he continued to look around confused. 

“Now Sakura,” Suo said as the whole group crowded him. “Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten.”

“Today’s the day you came to Makochi!” Several people said, talking over each other in excitement. “Happy Arrival Day!”

Umemiya leaned closer as he continued to run his fingers through his hair. “They just grow up so fast.” he said as he wiped fake tears. 

“They really do.” Tsubaki agreed, giving him one last squeeze before letting go.

“B-but what are you guys doing here?” Sakura said as he pointed to Kanji and Togame.

“You honestly expected us to skip out on such a special day!” Kanji said, his eyes wrinkling in the corners as he smiled. 

“Happy Arrival Day, Sakura!” Choji said as he bounced around Togame.

“I wouldn't miss this for the world,” Togame added. “I’m glad Nirei told us what was going on in time.”

This time Nirei flushed red as Sakura turned to look at him.

The blonde boy scratched the back of his neck, “I-I hope we didn’t overstep. I got the idea after you…you know…the tea-cakes…” he stuttered nervously trying to find the right words. “I-I wasn't sure if you'd–”

Sakura blinked.

A smile tugged at his lips, he remembered the warm feeling he got watching Suo’s reaction, and a similar feeling started to bloom within him now.

“–Thank you, Nirei. I love it.”

Nirei's eyes widened as he physically relaxed at Sakura’s words. A warm smile graced his own lips, “I’m glad! It’s my pleasure, Sakura.”

“Sakura!” Anzai called excitedly. “Look at this!”

Sakura walked towards where Anzai was. Tied to the tree's branches were several of what looked like angry-emoji faces made out of some sort of papier-mache. 

“It’s a piñata!” he said as he proudly showed them off. “You beat it–with a stick!”

“Huh?” Sakura’s never heard of that before, though the idea of beating something was appealing. “Why?”

“Remember!” This time it was Kurita who spoke up. “On your first day here, you beat up those Spaltip punks! So we got you a bunch of piñatas to wack in celebration. Right, Hiragi?”

Sakura blinked again as he saw the floating emojis hang lifelessly off the tree's branches. Swaying slightly in the gentle breeze.

Then–

Sakura snorted. 

Loud. 

Giggles racked his body and his abs started to hurt as he took in the ridiculousness of his classmates' symbolism. 

And his laughter was contagious as it spread throughout the crowd–throughout his friends.

“Yup, that’s right,” Hiragi said between his own laughs. It was weird seeing the former Heavenly King so relaxed, but I guess you could afford to be more loose when you didn’t have the responsibility of leading a whole school on your shoulders. “Sorry we couldn't get you the real-deal to thrash, but you'll have to settle for the piñatas.”

Everyone was wiping away their own tears, as the laughter rippled throughout the group.

“You guys are ridiculous–you know that.” Sakura said once he could catch his breath between giggles. 

“Thank you!” Anzai said proudly, he wore the comment like a badge of honor. 

The party kicked off to full swing after that. There was music, drinks, and food passed around as people dispersed and mingled with each other. 

The warm feeling only grew as he enjoyed the company of his friends. 

Momijikawa and Kotoha had collaborated to make all of the food. The spread was quite impressive and featured all of his favorite foods. 

Of course pre-portioned Omurice cups sat proudly in the middle of it all. 

Sakura learned that while cooking together, the two chefs had formed a sort of rivalry. Which was about to boil over any minute.

They called him over, telling him that he needed to try everything, and to tell them which ones he liked better. The look in both of their eyes was burning with the heat of competition. 

Sakura would never say no to eating everything, but he couldn’t ever bring himself to score them–he valued his life too much for that. 

The party was going off smoothly, and the warmth feeling was a comfort he never knew he was missing.

All the food was delicious–equally so between Kotoha and Momijikawa’s dishes.

The music was nice, and the ambient chatter added a nice buzz to the atmosphere. 

The games were fun and engaging.

But the longer it went on, the harder it was to hold onto that feeling.

His smile started to strain. His chest tightened, a slow, familiar feeling crept in where the warmth had been just moments ago. 

It was slow at first, until a switch somewhere inside him flipped. After that, he felt himself start to deteriorate rapidly.

His mind panicked at the change as the feeling of nausea settled in.

Suo noticed the shift.

“Hey, are you doing okay?” he asked. Keeping his voice low so as to not draw a lot of attention. Although the look of concern in Suo’s lone eye only made Sakura feel worse.

“Y-yeah,” Sakura winced as his voice wavered, he wasn’t going to convince anyone like this. “I think I just need a minute.”

Sakura walked away before Suo could say anything else. His eyes started to water slightly as his throat tightened and burned. He didn’t want the others to see–not after they worked so hard to do this for him.

Why couldn’t he just enjoy this?

His breathing picked up speed as he weaved through the crowd. Ducking his head, he managed to successfully slip into the stairwell. 

Taking the stairs two at a time, he quickly made it to the landing at the bottom, and dropped himself onto the last step.

He pulled his knees up and buried his face into his arms as he felt his emotions slip out of his grasp. His chest felt unbearably heavy as he tried to breathe, and his throat only seemed to grow tighter with each attempt.

He pushed his face deeper into his crossed arms.

The world was beginning to feel distant at a time when he wished it wouldn't the most. Panic seized his heart as his ears started to ring.

Shame and disappointment settled into his bones. He really was having fun too, he didn’t understand why his body was doing this to him. He struggled to take deep, controlled breaths, instead his lungs constricted–air coming in and out in short pants.

Come on, Sakura. 

Why?

His own fingers started to snake up his scalp and gripped a fistful of his dual-colored hair. 

He scratched at his scalp with one arm as he tugged harshly at the strands trying to physically pull himself back into the moment–his face still buried deep into his other.

Pull yourself together.

Sakura didn’t even hear it when the door opened and closed at the top of the stairs. 

Instead he heard the slow, exaggerated steps echoing down the hallway, bouncing in and out of the static filling mind.

He couldn’t bring himself to look up, as embarrassment heated his already flushed cheeks. 

Then a strong, grounding presence sat next to him. Their hips just barely grazed his as they settled in next to him.

But he didn’t move, and the person next to him didn't either. The air still felt unbreathable, and it probably didn’t help that he was hunched over, but he couldn’t find the strength to move. 

Until after a moment, a slow large hand came up to gently guide his fingers to unknot from his hair. He flinched slightly at the initial contact, but the guiding hand didn't stop. It continued to encourage the slow, but steady process.

Soon he found himself naturally following what the hand wanted, letting his fingers loosen, then finally release from his scalp. All that remained was a dull ache where his fingers once were.

No words were spoken when Sakura finally let his arm fall to hang limply on his lap. The guiding hand stayed to move to rubbing soothing circles into his back.

The ringing started to ease as he focused on just breathing, following along with the person beside him 

Sakura worked on rotating his head, currently tucked tightly in his other arm, his yellow eye surfaced just enough past his sleeve to catch a glimpse at who was next to him. 

Umemiya’s gentle blue eyes and soft smile greeted him. 

“This seems like a weird place for the guest of honor,” he said, tone light and gentle. His hand was still a grounding comfort as he spoke. 

Sakura leaned into Umemiya, giving into the touch and letting his weight fall into the older boy’s side as he hid his face again. His eyes only seemed to sting more at Umemiya’s words. 

He swallowed thickly as he tried to push through the burning in his throat. He took a moment to steady his breathing before he spoke.

“I-I know what they’re trying to do,” he finally got out, his voice muffled and cracked through his jacket’s sleeves. “All of this is because of my birthday, right?”

Umemiya just softly hummed beside him, his hand still rubbed circles into his slouched back. “Would it matter if it was?” he asked gently.

Sakura wiped his eyes on his sleeves, before he slowly raised his head.

As Sakura straightened, Umemiya shifted his arm to drape over the top of his shoulders, pulling him closer to his side–his hand shifting to rub his arm instead.

After a moment, Sakura spoke again, “I don’t deserve to be celebrated, Umemiya.”

“Sakura–”

“It’s true.”

Sakura could feel the build up of emotions he’s held in all these years threaten to overflow. If he lets them out now, he isn’t sure if he’ll be able to stop.

But he wasn’t sure if he even had a choice at the moment, the words seemed to fall out of his mouth without his permission anyway.

“I think about her all the time–my mother. I know my father is a piece of shit, but at least I have an image of him in my head to curse at, but for her–I have nothing.”

Umemiya just quietly listened, squeezing his arm as he kept going–unable to stop his spiral. 

“I don’t even know what she’s like…What kinda person was she? What kinda books did she like? What kinda food? All the trivial bullshit that’s really none of my business. She’s a stranger to me.”

His voice was thick and hoarse with each question. Anger and sadness mixed and started to fill the void that the static left behind.

“I don’t even know her name, Umemiya! Yet, after all these years it never gets any easier. It’s crazy–I’m crazy. I’m indebted to a woman I’ve never even met before.”

Sakura’s heart was racing as he choked on his words. He’s never been able to say these things aloud before–let alone to another person. 

Umemiya just looked at him thoughtfully, his eyes softened with every watery, barely formed sentence that spilled out.

“The only thing I know about her is what I stole from her, and I don’t even know how.”

Umemiya just listened quietly to his nonsensical rambling, waiting patiently for Sakura to get everything off of his chest.

Then once there was nothing left to say, Umemiya finally spoke.

“Well, I know she must’ve loved you…very much.”

Sakura’s breath caught in his throat as he locked eyes with Umemiya, his lips starting to quiver slightly.

“But…h-how could you know that?” his question came out as barely even a whisper. 

“To give you her ultimate sacrifice–no other reason makes sense other than a selfless act of love.”

“B-but, I don’t–” his argument died on his tongue. Umemiya looked straight into his eyes with absolute certainty in his expression.

He’d never thought of it that way before–that maybe his mother wanted him to live. 

In his mind, he had always taken her life; not been given.

He remembered the day Umemiya had told him about his own parents; how they both sacrificed their lives for him too.

But it’s different for me, isn’t it?

Umemiya could see Sakura's inner turmoil. The older boy wrapped both arms around him, pulling him into a warm embrace. Sakura seemed to melt into the touch as he rested his head on Umemiya’s shoulder.

Then, in a clear tone, “You didn’t kill your mother Sakura.” Umemiya said in a tone that left no room for argument. “It’s okay to let all that guilt go. You’re allowed to let it go.”

Sakura’s hands shook as he clenched his fists.

It felt stupid. 

Stupid that all he needed after all this time was permission–like words could wash away his sin, or bring her back.

But the second those very words left Umemiya’s mouth, he could already feel the burden start to ease, his shoulders physically feeling lighter already

“It’s not always gonna be easy,” Umemiya continued. “Some days are going to be harder than others, but that’s okay–as long as your grief goes to the right place.”

A single tear slipped down Sakura’s face–only Umemiya could make spilling your heart out in the middle of your own ‘arrival party’ feel so natural.

“Thank you,” Sakura said genuinely. Then, in a moment of pure honesty. “I’m gonna miss you, now that you're gone.”

“Sakura,” Umemiya smiled back softly, still holding him. “I may have graduated, but I’m not going anywhere. Makochi is still my home, and all my family is still right here,” he said while pulling Sakura closer. 

Sakura’s eyes softened as he took in Umemiya’s words. The final little bit of weight left his chest. A small smile tugged at the corner of his lips. 

Their moment was cut short when the door to the roof opened again. 

“Yo! Sakura!” Togame called out as he stepped into the stairwell. “You better get out there and hit your piñata. I don’t think we can keep Choji away from them much longer.”

Togame poked his head down the stairs, a stick held loosely in his grip. His eyes widened when he saw Sakura’s red-rimmed eyes. “Oh, am I interrupting something?” he asked gently when Umemiya and Sakura looked back up at him.

“Nah, we were just chatting.” Umemiya said softly, giving Sakura’s hair a rough shuffle as he pushed the boy forward. “You better go out there and show them how it’s done!” he smiled.

Sakura nodded, wiping his eyes and nose on his sleeve as he made it up the stairs. 

He paused halfway up.

“Aren’t you coming?” Sakura said after noticing Umemiya had yet to move.

“Yeah, in a second.” 

Sakura still didn't move.

Umemiya laughed at the slightly pouting look he gave him, “Don’t worry, I won’t miss it. Now go!”

“Okay,” Sakura said softly, he smiled as he took the stick from Togame and rejoined the party.

“Come on, Othello,” Togame said behind Sakura, putting a supportive hand on his shoulder as they walked. “Let’s see if you’re just as deadly with a stick as you are with your fists.”

The door clicked shut behind them. Leaving Umemiya alone in the stairwell. 

The former Bofurin Representative smiled back at where his little brother once sat beside him. His arm and side are still warm from just moments ago. 

As he stood up and dusted off his pants, Umemiya thought of a certain–nameless woman.

His gaze looked up to the ceiling as if he were looking up at the grand, blue sky.

“Don’t worry. We’ve got him now.”