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It was as light as it ever got this time of year when they arrived back in Inuvik. They went to see Maggie at the detachment, and when she saw them the first thing she said was “There was a call for you, from Chicago.”
“Is something wrong?” Ben asked. His mind went immediately to Ray Vecchio.
“Ah – well – the call was from Stella, actually,” Maggie said. “Stella Kowalski.”
“Stella called us here?” said Ray. He looked flabbergasted. “What’s happened? Is someone hurt, or –”
Maggie shrugged, and grimaced. “It was a bit mysterious, to tell you the truth. She said to tell you –” She pulled a notepad out of her jacket pocket, and flipped back a few pages. “That Ray Vecchio had to go away suddenly for his old job, and he’s been acting strangely since he got back. That she called, and she was worried. Oh, and happy new year and she’s looking forward to seeing you both back in Chicago.”
“Who was she calling for?” Ben asked, trying to keep it neutral. Ray still shot him a sharp look.
They hadn’t talked for months about what had happened in September, when Ben and Ray Vecchio had been at his father’s cabin. Ray had confessed as soon as they had returned to his apartment, pale, jittery, looking like he wanted to throw up. Ben had been almost as angry as he ever remembered being in his life, and as hurt. But as anger almost always was, it had been useless; anger couldn’t change the past, or make Ray any sorrier than he had been. Three months on, he wasn’t angry with Ray anymore, but Stella – well, he didn’t know. She didn’t owe him anything; but she owed Ray Vecchio something, surely. Something more than trysting with her ex-husband the minute Ray had left town.
“Both of you,” Maggie said. “Were you expecting bad news?”
“No,” Ray said, at the same time as Ben said “I don’t know.”
“What do you mean you don’t know?” Ray turned sharply towards him.
“I don’t think Ray was doing very well, before we left,” Ben said. He hadn’t wanted to bring it up because this Ray still seemed to think that Ray Vecchio was in some way competition for him – as if he wasn’t madly in love with Stella Kowalski – as if, in fact, both his Rays weren’t far too obsessed with Stella Kowalski. As if Ben would risk what they had that way.
Moreover, he was quite sure that Ray Vecchio’s time in Las Vegas had been ugly in a way he was not prepared to reveal to Ben. Ray too often thought of him as somehow innocent or pure, needing to be protected from the realities of the world. After Victoria, he couldn’t think how Ray still believed that, but – perhaps that was why. Perhaps that was the way he rationalised to himself what had happened, rather accepting the full weight of Ben’s culpability in the matter. He hoped that wasn’t true. Pedestals were uncomfortable, and lonely, places to be.
And ‘old job’ had to be something to do with Ray’s nineteen months undercover as Armando Langoustini. That couldn’t possibly be good.
This Ray, his Ray, studied his face. “I – yeah. I know what you mean. Don’t look so surprised. He’s my partner.”
He had complained so much about having to be partnered with Ray Vecchio. To hear him say that simply, and mean it, was something Ben had longed for.
Maggie's face fell. “You have to go back, don’t you. Right away.”
She'd been very happy to have them visiting, and Ben had been so happy to have a sister to visit. He hated to leave sooner than they'd intended. But Stella had her pride too, Ben knew. She claimed to not be keeping Ray Vecchio from him, but he still wasn’t sure he believed her denials. She confused potential with reality. There had been a moment, sometime, when he and Ray might have – but that had been long ago now. That was all.
The point was, if she had called them here, she must be very concerned indeed, and she was neither an uninsightful nor an impulsive woman. He looked to Ray.
“Yeah,” Ray said at once. “Yeah, I’m sorry, Maggie, we do.”