Work Text:
Firewhiskey was fucking disgusting.
At least that’s what Regulus thought.
He still downed the bottle of magical alcohol without grimacing and let his eyes wander over the people stuffed tightly in the Gryffindor common room from his position on the couch. Someone had charmed the ceiling of the room to show the sky in a similar way to the great hall – probably Lupin, his brother’s mastermind boyfriend - but the drunken teenagers dancing and drinking didn’t really care for it.
What a waste.
Regulus shook his head in disapproval and searched the room for something to do, but ultimately dismissed the activity as boring.
What was he even doing here? Barty and Evan were surely done fucking by now, so he might as well just leave this stuffed room that reeked of sweat and alcohol and return to his soft bed back in the dungeons.
His mind made up, Regulus intended to stand up, his head heavy, and his legs almost gave up, giving him the illusion of them snapping in half in the middle of the common room.
His sight was blurry, and his whole body felt wobbly. Regulus faintly felt the need to gag, but it fortunately vanished before it could take hold. Not trying to risk anything or embarrass himself further, the boy proceeded to slowly lower the bottle of alcohol still in his hand until it stood on the carpeted floor.
His vision blurred again, and he rushed to sit down on the couch, but the moment he fully sat, he felt how different it was. Since when did couches have… arms? And big hands and tanned skin and- oh Merlin, he was sitting on someone! He just said not to embarrass himself, oh no, what was he going to do-
But before Regulus had a chance to scramble up again, strong arms wound themselves around his slender frame and pulled his body closer to a muscular chest. Before Regulus mind could stop himself, his body had already decided that yes, this was heaven.
No angels, no white light, just blurry sight and a warm body hugging him as if it meant something.
He let his head fall back on the shoulder of whoever’s lap he sat on and closed his eyes, sighing deeply in contentment. The guy who held him chuckled lightly and held him a little tighter.
The feeling of discomfort he had felt mere seconds ago vanished into nothingness the moment he let his head tip to the side and bury itself in the side of the other boy’s neck, taking a deep breath in. He didn’t even find it in himself to feel shame for how clingy he was at the moment, because well… that was future Regulus’s problem.
He couldn’t argue against his clouded brain, but if he was honest, he didn’t really try to.
Regulus felt himself slip in and out of sleep, forgetting his surroundings and tuning out the music coursing through the room, which seemed to bounce off the brick walls. Just when he was about to fully fall asleep, his drunk and sleepy brain recognised the scent of the strange human couch person, but it only fully clicked in his head when a familiar voice spoke up right next to his ear.
“You look beautiful, Reg. Gorgeous.” The boy mumbled in his ear, and Regulus shivered, his body trying to recover from almost taking a nap, because the idea of falling asleep now seemed impossible to imagine.
Regulus would recognise that voice in thousands and yearn to hear it again.
James.
How did he always end up in situations like this? Genuinely, what bittersweet fate did the universe carry for Regulus?
“You always look beautiful, you know? Like a star. Your brother always scolds me when I look at you for too long. But I can’t help myself. You’re the most beautiful star in the whole sky, Reg.” James continued to slur, and Regulus smelled the alcohol in his breath, but for the first time this evening, he couldn’t find it in himself to hate it. “You’re like the whole universe.”
Regulus melted a little, and James quickly held him closer, closer to him. To his hot breath against his cheek.
“Regulus, iwishyouweremyuniverse.” James blurted out, and it took Regulus a full minute to understand what the other boy had just said. When he finally made the words out, he slowly lifted his head to meet the eyes of the boy who had held him for half an hour. James immediately loosened his grip, thinking Regulus was getting up, but his eyes began to beam when he realised that Regulus wasn’t slipping off his lap.
Regulus wasn’t planning to.
Instead, he turned to look at the other boy fully and stared into the endless brown of James beautifully glowing eyes, and without thinking about it, he blurted, “You would be the sun to my stars, Jamie”, and just when you thought that one’s eyes couldn’t get brighter, they did.
James looked like the happiest man on earth, and it made Regulus smile a silly smile, even though he didn’t quite understand how anyone could be happy because of him.
He sank back into his embrace after pressing a feather-light kiss on James’ cheek and now cradled his lap, chests touching, breathing in the same rhythm. Regulus threw his arms around James’ neck and lowered himself to snuggle into his neck again, ultimately deciding that it was his favourite place on earth.
James’ breath hitched, and after a second, he pressed an equally soft kiss on what was still showing of Regulus forehead before leaning back on the couch and pulling Regulus with him. His arms were slung around Regulus’s torso and held him safely as no one had.
It was weird to describe. The feeling of feeling safe. So purely and fullheartedly safe.
Regulus felt invincible in James’s arms.
Regulus smiled to himself, feeling positive that James had felt it when the other boy shivered slightly under the touch. Testing the waters, Regulus kissed a soft kiss on the other man’s neck and revelled over the goosebumps that formed instantly. He continued kissing the soft skin sweetly, tasting James’ cologne on his tongue, licking it off his neck eagerly. He kissed featherlight kisses up to James’ jawline and only stopped when he felt the other boy softly pull him back.
As if being pulled by a force, Regulus came crashing into reality.
He had just kissed and licked (oh, Merlin) the neck of his brother’s best friend at a party, and he couldn’t even feel bad about it. Horror still dawned over him like a shadow.
“I- I'm sorry, I don’t know why… I just thought-“ Regulus began to stammer, embarrassment catching up with him. He thought James had liked what he did. Every sentence seemed to be stuck in his throat, and nothing seemed appropriate to be said in a situation like this.
“No Reg it’s not that, don’t worry.” James panted, and only then did Regulus notice how dishevelled James looked, cheeks flushed, eyes glowing, and lips red from biting on them. Regulus slowly realised that the bump he had felt sitting on James’s lap was in fact not his belt.
But when James liked it, why would we stop?, his clouded brain asked itself.
Regulus looked down at the dent in James jeans and smirked before looking up again to meet James eyes, who looked something between mortified and aroused.
“I’m so sorry, I didn’t think I would… You know. You just… have that effect on me.” James stammered cutely and Regulus’s smirk transformed into a smile. He felt strangely accomplished. He had that effect on James? What did that mean? “And I don’t know if this is just a drunk thing of yours, but I- I uhm… ireallylikeyouregulus. I don’t want to take advantage of you, though. I know I’m drunk as well, but if we’re doing this, I don’t want to have forgotten everything the next morning.”
Regulus thought about the fast-spoken words and blushed a little. He liked this drunken quirk of James. “I like you too, James. A lot.” He admitted quietly, and although it was so loud around them, it felt like it was only them. In their own little universe. Consisting of stars and suns.
Regulus swore he had only closed his eyes for a second, but when he opened them again, he wasn’t sitting on the couch anymore. He wasn’t sitting at all. Instead, he was being carried by the one and only James Potter, drunk himself, but surprisingly stable. When James noticed that he wasn’t sleeping anymore, he smiled adorably down at Regulus and rubbed his thumb over his shoulder where he held him, his other hand hooked under both of his legs, carrying his weight as if it was nothing.
“Wh’t a’ we doin’?” Regulus slurred, burying his face a little deeper in the warm crook of James’s neck.
“You fell asleep and wouldn’t wake up, so I'm bringing you to the dorm,” James whispered.
“But-“ Regulus began, feeling a pinch of fear. “We’re not- we’re not doin’… You know what…right?”
James hugged him a little tighter and shook his head soothingly.
“Don’t worry, Reg - I would never do something that you don’t want me to. Especially if you’re drunk. I just didn’t want you to sleep on the couch.” He stopped climbing the stairs for a second and paused. “I could take you back to Slytherin if you’d rather wanna sleep in your own bed?”
James offer was so genuine that Regulus smiled and took a moment to breathe in James cologne before answering, no fear left in his stomach. “No its fine. I can get back tomorrow. Will you still carry me then?” He asked half jokingly, and James began to walk again.
After a moment, Regulus heard the other boy whisper. “Of course I would.”
When they had climbed the stairs fully and James slowly opened the dorm door, peeking inside, he softly put Regulus down on what he assumed to be James’s bed. Regulus missed his warmth the second he touched the bed, and although it was soft and smelled like James, he still wanted the comforting touch back.
His eyelids were beginning to drop again (he didn’t control it!), and he blindly stretched out his arms in the hope of finding the treasure of James touch this way. He probably looked like a madman, searching the air with his arms, eyes closed and helpless, like a ladybug on its back.
Warm calloused hands found his and stopped his pathetic act in an appreciated fashion.
Regulus grabbed onto them like a lifeline and started to pull with what little strength he had left. He kicked his shoes off in the process, and they fell to the wooden floor loudly, but he didn’t care, because James had just lain down next to him.
The other boy pulled back the covers and buried Regulus and himself under it. Just before Regulus fell asleep for the third time this night, he heard James whisper into the night.
“Can I hug you?”
The words hung between them as if they were the final step of commitment, but for Regulus, they weren’t. James’ touch was safe and wanted, respectful and kind. Everything that James was for him.
He wanted nothing more than to be hugged and held by James.
So even if the question was deeper than it suggested, he would always want it.
“Yes, James. Please.”
In a matter of seconds, he was embraced in the feeling of warmth and safety again.
It was as if he were next to the sun. But instead of falling, he stayed, pulled in by the gravity of James. The sun in his universe.
Sleep had come fast and hard.
When the first rays of sunshine poked Regulus’ eyes, he hesitantly opened them, groaning when the first taste of hangover hit him, and headaches exploded in his head.
He felt a body stir behind him and groaned once more when images of last night flooded his inner eye and he remembered just who the body behind him was.
“Oh fuck”, Regulus muttered, and his body flinched slightly when another voice, much louder and slightly shrill, erupted in the silent dorm.
“Well-“ The voice called out. “Look who’s awake.”
He stilled, knowing he was missing something. The voice… the voice… who…?
“Sirius, he isn’t even aware that he exists, okay. Let him come to his senses. And for James - I think there’s no hope of communication for today.” Another voice complied, way calmer than the first. The sound of a bed dipping under the weight of someone sitting down could be heard before voice two muttered, way quieter. “It was only a matter of time with these two…”
“It was not!” Voice one - Sirius argued shrilly, ignoring the probably still sleeping James. “I would’ve liked a warning before waking up to my best friend and my brother in… in one bed!”
“Oh, Merlin,” Regulus whispered, seemingly not silently enough, when a finger was jabbed into his forehead and Sirius barking out another senseless statement.
“What? Got something to say, little brother who slept with my best friend?” He said accusingly, and Regulus hit his hand away from his face, getting annoyed.
He slowly sat up, full-mindedly not removing James’ arm still wrapped around his waist, liking the feeling of support, even if the support was currently sleeping and drooling slightly.
When he finally opened his eyes and sat up, Sirius jumped and turned around, facing the wall, voice full of panic. “Moony, tell me he still got his clothes on!”
Remus made a show of looking Regulus and James up and down three times before turning back to his away-faced boyfriend to announce importantly that they were, in fact, still wearing clothes.
“How can you survive, Lupin?” Regulus asked the older boy sitting on the bed in front of him, but his brother’s boyfriend only smirked and shrugged.
“Has its rewards, you know.” He said slyly, and Regulus fake gagged before Sirius started to talk again.
“Well, it would be better if James were awake, but I guess I can give him a message later with a death threat, but… I guess I support whatever this is. I know you would still do this without my blessing, but I know at least one of you would feel bad about it, so… I guess it’s okay.
Sirius stopped for a second, thinking again.
“But if you ever fuck in here, I'm going to kill you both.”
“Siriuuuus”, Regulus groaned, his face flushing with heat, but if he was honest, he appreciated the gesture. Even if this…thing between James and him was nothing, at least not at the moment, it somehow changed everything.
“We’ll leave you both to it,” Remus said, getting up from the bed and pulling his reluctant boyfriend with him.
Sirius looked over his shoulder before stepping through the door, and something proud in his eyes flashed before he called out, “You have an hour!” and closed the door.
Somehow, that was what awoke James, who, before even opening his eyes, tightened his arm around Regulus’s waist and pulled him down to him again. Regulus allowed himself 23 seconds of his comforting touch before he pulled away again, James following suit slowly after, frowning confusedly.
They sat in front of each other in a stuffy silence, blushing when they caught the other’s eye and behaving like little children. Regulus decided in a sudden burst of bravery that he had had enough.
“Did- did you hear any of it?” He stuttered, desperate for both of them to be drunk again.
“A little, yeah,” James said, rubbing his neck awkwardly. “At least the part about blessing us and stuff…”
James stared down at the space between them, and Regulus finally looked at him. His eyes and posture were awkward and uncertain. His hands twitched ever so slightly when Regulus moved even an inch, as if the other boy wanted to reach for him, which made Regulus’s belly flutter pleasantly.
So he didn’t regret this. Interesting.
James bit his lip, and Regulus noted that it was the same side that James had bitten last night. It seemed to be a habit of his.
“You know,” James suddenly said, back straightening, finally looking up and meeting Regulus's waiting eyes. His brown eyes were determined, if not a little reckless. Though if one looked long and hard enough, one could see the fear lurking behind them in crashing waves of insecurity. “If you wanted to, we could…”
The other boy’s hands twitched in his lap, and Regulus could no longer bear to witness this dork falling apart in front of him, so he slowly reached out, intertwining their fingers.
It was a weird feeling. As if two worlds, two opposites, met in the middle, not crashing into each other, but flowing into one solid form. The touch felt so intimate that Regulus could hardly believe what they did last night.
At least what he remembered they did… he was not quite sure.
Regulus hands were cold, James were warm.
Regulus fingers were pale and long, James were tanned and solid.
Regulus nails were perfectly manicured, James nails were bitten and short.
Regulus just stared at their hands, probably looking like a creep, but for once, he didn’t care.
When he looked up once more, James was already looking at him.
His brown eyes seemed sure and warm, not a single crease of fear visible anymore. When he broke out in a smile, Regulus couldn’t help but mimic him, and they sat like this for a minute, taking each other in and smiling like idiots. James took one deep breath in, and the determined glint in his eyes returned. Regulus squeezed his hand and looked at him with anticipation.
“Wouldyouliketogotohogsmeadewithmenextweek?” He blurted, and his cheeks flushed a subtle pink. Regulus already understood him but waited for a second, letting the buzz in his belly cool down. It didn’t work, but at least he tried. “I mean… would you like to go on a date? With me? At Hogsmeade? Next weekend?”
James looked at him hopefully, with a strange resemblance to a deer, and instead of answering, Regulus leaned forward and closed the space in between them eagerly.
James lips still had a faint alcohol taste on them, but Regulus didn’t mind. He was already drunk on James himself.
His brain short-circuited the moment their lips met, and when James began to move his lips and answer his kiss, everything be damned, but he wouldn’t leave this dorm.
An hour, his brother had said.
Well, when James turned Regulus back onto the mattress and hovered over him, kissing him senseless, he knew they might need to lock the door and put a silencing charm up if they were already at it.
The great hall greeted them with bright light and loud chatter 90 minutes later.
James still looked delicious, all red lips and messy hair, but Regulus put his mask on when they sat down in front of his brother at the Gryffindor table. Some of the nearby students eyed them or outright asked him what he was doing with them, but other than that, nothing happened.
Sirius fixed them with an unimpressed glare.
“Sooo…I would ask you what happened, but I have a feeling I really don’t want to know, so I guess-“ Sirius paused, thinking. ” Uhm… You guys happy?”
James and Regulus looked at each other, and when equal bright smiles appeared on their faces, nobody needed to have an answer.
Three years ago, Regulus had thought that this silly little crush on his brother’s best friend would (hopefully) go away quickly, but when it didn’t, he told himself it was impossible that he would ever even have a conversation with James. But today, he had realised that if everything in life was impossible, then chasing it nonetheless was exactly the point.
Otherwise, he wouldn’t be here right now.