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“Holy shit.”
Holy Shit.
The same four letters lingered in the air, echoing within the digital prison.
Kinger lifted the bucket off his head, taking in the dull scene before him. The once vibrantly coloured circus was now a scale of black and white.
“What the actual fuck.”
The AI that had once imprisoned them was now gone, the vibrant filter of the circus lifting, leaving them with an empty map, reminiscent of an abandoned world.
____________________________________________________________________________
“Yeah no, I’m out,” Jax’s voice cut in,.
“Out where? There’s no where to go.”
Zooble’s question stopped Jax in his tracks.
“I’m just taking a small walk. What? You think I’m going to abstract or something?”
Their eyes narrowed.
“We just can’t afford to go off on our own right now, given the current…situation,” Pomni reasoned.
“I–well–,” Jax paused, “I’ll be fine, if you’re so worried, how about you come for me if I don’t return in like, thirty minutes?”
Pomni’s eyes narrowed, but she didn’t say a word. Jax took it as his go ahead, walking off without another word.
“Uhh…are we sure this is a good idea?” Kinger asked as everyone watched Jax’s retreating figure.
“Maybe one of us should go…I don’t think it’s a good idea for anyone to be alone right now.”
Gangle stared at the ground, despite everything, Jax was still one of them, and right now, their priority was to stick together. It was all they had.
“Yeah, no I agree, Pomni, I think you should go.”
“What, huh?” Pomni’s head snapped towards Ragatha upon hearing her name.
“You should go after Jax, since, well, you know, you’re the closest to him out of all of us.”
Ragatha chuckled nervously as Pomni took her time processing what she’d said.
“Oh, um, okay,” Pomni flashed a weak smile as she jogged after Jax, who’d long ago disappeared behind the other wall.
___________________________________________________________________________
The indistinct chatter behind him slowly faded as he went for the hallway which once contained their rooms. The once bright red walls were now an echo of their original colour.
Sad and pathetic.
He let out a grunt as he landed against the floor of his room, the gaping, glitching hole in the middle staring at him as he tucked his knees.
His shoulders rose and fell with every breath he took, the feelings he’d been suppressing coming back at full force to bite him in the ass.
“Ah, what the fuck,” He breathed out. The room began to haze as he dropped his head.
This was real.
He could no longer deny it.
Every single thing he said and did. It was real. This was real–
He tried to breathe, but it was as though no air was actually entering his lungs. He clutched the floor like an invisible lifeline, pressing himself against the wall for some stability.
Every time his chest rose his thoughts only jumbled further. He tilted his head back and tried to breathe. To focus on the wall.
Okay. That…kind of worked. He dropped his head as he slowly loosened up, trying his best to keep himself from falling into the hole.
A knock on the door brought him back down to earth. Or the digital ground, in this case.
“Hey, Jax? You doing alright? Can I come in?”
Jax sucked in a deep breath, trying, in his most casual tone.
“Huh? Oh yeah, sure, just come in.”
Pomni slowly opened the door, walking in on Jax simply closing his eyes, as though he’d been napping this whole time.
His eyes peeled open as the click of the door echoed through the room. Pomni sinking down beside him.
“So,” A big grin plastered over his face, “What brings you here Pom Pom?”
“I–uh—just wanted some time away from the others, and you know, it wasn’t exactly a good idea to go anywhere alone, so I went to look for you.”
Pomni watched as Jax shifted, his shoulders seemingly relaxed now that they were talking.
He hugged his knees as his head dropped to face her, a smug grin on his face as his eyes diluted to his familiar distant eyes.
“Aw, so you were worried about me?” He teased.
“Well, yeah. Me and everyone in the circus. We can’t exactly afford to lose one of our own right now.”
Pomni half expected Jax to shrug her off, or even make a joke, but her words were met with silence as she watched his eyes dart to the wall across them.
“So…this is your room, huh?”
“I mean, I guess. Didn’t exactly feel like it though.”
“I see…What about those polaroids on the wall? Have a story to them?”
The Jester pointed towards the pictures on the wall, the ones next to his bed that haunted him at night.
“They were whatever,” Jax murmured, head dropping back on his knees as he blew out a breath. Pomni felt their progress slipping between her fingers.
“Uh, okay…I–Sorry for asking.”
A beat of silence.
“It was just some old pictures of my friends, doesn’t really matter,” Jax rolled his eyes, and, despite himself, he watched Pomni carefully for her reaction.
“Were they…the friends Ragatha was talking about before?”
“Might’ve been.”
“Sooo…Why’d you come all the way here?”
Pomni’s question was met with a scoff.
“Why? Can’t have time to myself anymore?”
“What? No, that’s not what I–”
“Relax, I just came here for some time alone, that’s all. You didn’t need to come all the way here to check up on me, y’know?”
“We just thought that it wasn’t a good idea for anyone to be on their own right now, considering the current situation. And you’ve been a little…distant, if that’s even the right word.”
Jax let out a heavy sigh.
“Are we really doing a one on one therapy sess right now?”
Pomni shrugged as she watched Jax’s right ear droop and his brow rise. It was kind of funny watching him contemplate his next words.
“Okay, fine. Honestly? It’s really weird to suddenly be actively included, like a part of the group and not the asshole that tags along,” Jax mumbled, “And…I don’t know what I’d do if another one of us just…disappeared.”
“Then…isn’t it all the more important that you spend more time while you can?”
Jax scoffed, “You think it’s that easy? Everyone is just tolerating me, but that doesn’t change that they still hate me for what I did.”
As Jax turned away, Pomni swore she heard a small sob.
“Well, I don’t hate you.”
“Shocking.”
“Look, I can’t speak on behalf of the others' feelings but I do know that they’re willing to give you a chance. They’ve been willing to give you a chance, and I think you should take it. Because whether or not you think you deserve it–this is your best chance to prove to yourself that you do. Don’t you think?”
Jax sighed heavily, mumbling out something along the lines of, “Eh, I guess that’s fair".
"Don't worry too much about it, trust me."
They sat together in silence for a while, basking in each other's presence with a sense of calm that they hadn't been able to feel since Caine went crazy. Jax was the first one to get up.
“C’mon, we’ve been here long enough, who knows how long we’ve been here,” He said, pulling Pomni towards him.
They strolled back in comfortable silence. Jax was actually feeling more relaxed, having somewhat mended his friendship with Pomni.
Maybe things weren’t so bad after all.