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Felix knew it was getting bad when he memorized her username.
Not just memorized it—he didn’t even have to search it anymore.
His fingers typed it automatically.
Like muscle memory.
Like a habit he couldn’t break.
Like something closer to addiction.
It started small.
Just curiosity.
Just one look.
Just wondering what Jungkook’s ex looked like.
That was normal, right?
Everyone does that.
…right?
Now Felix knew everything.
Her favorite café (judging by the location tags).
Her friends.
The way she tilted her head in pictures.
The exact angle she used when she took selfies.
He even knew which posts Jungkook had liked.
That one hurt the most.
Because Jungkook didn’t even follow her anymore.
Which meant—
Those likes were from before.
From when she mattered.
Felix stared at one picture longer than he should have.
She was laughing.
Not posing. Not trying.
Just… happy.
It made something twist painfully in his chest.
“Why does she look like that so easily…”
Felix muttered under his breath.
He flipped his phone over.
Then flipped it back.
Opened the app again.
Later that night, Jungkook sat next to him, casually scrolling through his own phone.
Their knees touched.
Felix felt it like a spark.
And for a second, everything felt normal again.
Until his brain ruined it.
Did he sit like this with her too?
Felix swallowed.
“Hey,” he said, trying to sound light, “what was your ex like?”
Jungkook didn’t even look up.
“Hm? Which one?”
Felix’s stomach dropped.
“...The last one.”
“Oh,” Jungkook said casually. “She was cool. Pretty chill.”
Felix nodded slowly.
Cool.
Chill.
Pretty.
Of course.
Felix picked at the fabric of his sleeve.
“What did you like about her?”
Jungkook shrugged. “I don’t know. We just got along, I guess.”
Just got along.
Felix hated how simple Jungkook made it sound.
Like it didn’t mean anything.
Like it didn’t matter.
That night, Felix scrolled again.
He found older posts.
Deeper ones.
Ones that took effort to reach.
Pictures from years ago.
There was one where she stood in front of a mirror wearing Jungkook’s hoodie.
Felix froze.
His chest tightened so sharply it almost hurt.
That’s his.
Felix zoomed in.
Same hoodie.
Same one Jungkook still wore.
Same one Felix had borrowed just last week.
His hands started to feel cold.
The next day, Felix showed up at Jungkook’s place wearing that hoodie.
He didn’t say anything about it.
He just waited.
Waited to see if Jungkook would notice.
If it meant something.
If it reminded him of her.
Jungkook barely glanced up.
“Hey, you’re here early.”
That was it.
No reaction.
No memory.
Nothing.
Felix forced a smile.
“Yeah.”
It should’ve made him feel better.
It didn’t.
The questions got worse.
More specific.
More desperate.
“Did you ever think you’d end up with her?”
“Did you say ‘I love you’ first or did she?”
“Did you fight a lot?”
“Why did you even break up?”
Jungkook answered everything the same way.
Casual.
Unbothered.
Like it was just… history.
“Yeah, I guess.”
“She did, I think.”
“Not really.”
“It just didn’t work out.”
Felix wanted more.
Details.
Emotion.
Something.
But Jungkook never gave it.
Meanwhile, Felix kept digging.
Scrolling.
Comparing.
Obsessing.
He started noticing patterns.
She wore rings.
Felix started wearing rings.
She liked oversized jackets.
Felix stopped wearing fitted clothes.
She smiled with her eyes.
Felix practiced in the mirror until his cheeks hurt.
It felt stupid.
It was stupid.
But he couldn’t stop.
One night, he went too far.
He found an old tagged photo.
Jungkook and her.
Together.
Not even doing anything special.
Just sitting close.
But Jungkook was smiling.
That smile.
The one Felix thought was his.
Felix’s chest tightened.
Something ugly twisted inside him.
“Was I just… next?”
The next time he saw Jungkook, he couldn’t help it.
“Do you ever miss her?”
Jungkook blinked.
“…Not really.”
Felix searched his face for hesitation.
There was none.
“Why?” Jungkook added.
Felix shook his head quickly.
“No reason.”
But his mind kept going.
He answered too fast.
Or maybe that means he’s telling the truth.
Or maybe he just doesn’t want to admit it.
Felix hated this.
Hated how every answer created ten more questions.
That night, Felix didn’t even pretend anymore.
He opened her profile immediately.
Scrolled.
Paused.
Zoomed.
Compared.
Again.
And again.
And again.
Until his eyes burned.
Until everything blurred together.
Until he couldn’t tell what he was even looking for anymore.
He lay back on his bed, staring at the ceiling.
Phone still in his hand.
Her face still stuck in his head.
Jungkook’s voice echoing somewhere in his memory.
Casual.
Unbothered.
Unaffected.
And that was the worst part.
Not that Jungkook had loved her.
Not that she existed.
But that Felix cared so much more than Jungkook ever did now.
Felix turned his phone back on.
Opened her profile one more time.
Just for a second.
Just one last look.
He told himself that every time.
And every time—
He stayed longer.