Chapter Text
A week in the Safe Haven went by with Thomas barely getting through without having another atrocious breakdown. After reading the letter Newt left, the guilt he had set aside that night went crashing back to him. He can only wonder how different things would've been if he had been able to buy a bit more time before Brenda arrived.
"Hey," a familiar voice, followed by a knock on the already opened bamboo door, pulled him back to reality. Thomas looked up to see Minho standing in front of it, holding a paper plate filled with vegetables and rice. The Safe Haven wasn't exactly as advanced as the last city. After all, they had to start from the bottom. From crops to huts, they had to manually build everything from scratch.
"Figured you didn't wanna eat with us tonight, but Vince and his farmers finally managed to harvest rice after a week of trying," he chuckled before closing the door. The dreaded man looked at the plate his friend placed on the table before turning his back.
"I'm not hungry," Thomas responded, not daring to meet Minho's eyes. Even if he tries to do so, he knows he couldn't. He carries the guilt of Newt's death. They were so close to the victory they all worked hard to attain. It felt so unfair for Thomas. It felt so unfair how he lost two of the most important people in his life that night. On the other hand, Minho can only nod in agreement as Thomas was already dissociating in front of him. He sat on the floor beside him, eating slowly, his own mind reminding him of that night.
Soon, heavy air engulfed the room, and both teens stared into nothingness. Distant chattering and the cold wind from the open window are the only noises present until Minho decides to break it.
"Newt he, he's—he was very brave, you know," he started, snapping Thomas out of his state. He turned to the runner on the floor and nodded. "He was scared too, Min," he mumbles, pulling a letter from the bottle on his necklace. He opened it and shakingly handed it to Minho.
After a while, he gives the letter back to Thomas, laughing.
"What's funny?"
"You two really had something different, no? I knew I wasn't wrong," he said, staring at Thomas with bittersweet eyes.
"What's different?" Thomas asked. Confusion painted all over his face, which made Minho snort. He doesn't know if Thomas is dumb or was just too busy trying to save the world.
"Okay. First, why didn't I nor Gally receive any fuckass letter? We've known him more than you do," he complained.
“Well, we didn't know that. Our memories were erased,” Thomas defended.
“How about when he asked you how important he was to you?"
It took a minute before Thomas answered, trying to recall when it happened.
"Yeah. Yeah, I remember. It was the afternoon before we were ambushed by WCKD. Newt asked me 'Hey, mate. How important d'ya think I am to ya?' " He laughed while mocking Newt's accent. "I thought it was random and took it lightly," he added. Not noticing himself smiling at the memories, he continues with his story. "Ah, I also remember answering him with a mocking voice. You should’ve seen his face, man. If only he weren’t turning his back on you."
Thomas finally burst out laughing, the face of an annoyed Newt playing in his mind. Minho hummed. Seeing him like that made him feel lighter, and he was glad.
"What?" he stopped and asked. The runner shrugged and stood up, heading towards the door.
"Piece of advice, you should've answered him seriously. Maybe then you guys could've evaluated your feelings better," he said, facing away from Thomas.
"What feelings?" the other blindly asked, only adding to Minho's point. He rubbed his neck before answering, clearly fed up with Thomas’ stupidity.
"The question, the nickname, the argument about Teresa,—the letter, Thomas. Those are the things that define how important you are to him, what you are to him. Now tell me, after everything, how important is Newt to you? What is Newt—to you?"
Minho turns to Thomas, staring at him with a serious demeanor. "You mourned him more than Teresa. Teresa who openly declared her love for you. Teresa whom you spend more time with." He sighs before turning away again and opening the door. "We’re safe now. You’ll have more time. Don’t let this be something you'll wonder about for the rest of your life," he added before finally exiting the door.
There, Thomas sat dumb founded. He felt attacked by what Minho said, but he couldn't figure out why. What is he regretting so much now?
Strike
Suddenly, it felt like something struck his mind. His head was throbbing. He tried to stand up but ended up falling back on his ass. After that, the ringing in his ears started, and it got louder and louder every second. He tried to hit his head, hair, temple, everything he could just to try and stop it from going louder.
It didn't stop. It doesn't stop. Thomas was starting to go crazy.
“Tommy! Tommy!”
It was Newt. He was everywhere. Thomas tried opening his eyes to look at all corners of the room, but failed to see anything. Yet the voices didn’t stop. Newt was still there, shouting his name.
Suddenly, the room started spinning like crazy. All Thomas could do was crouch while pulling his head down. He felt like he could feel everything intensely. He can feel vomit lumping in his throat. How his clothes stick to his skin due to sweat. How the winds blew too strongly for his skin. How his ears were ringing from the silence. Until he heard him, again.
“Tommy! Tommy! Thomas!”
The ringing in his ears stopped. “Thomas?” he questioned before opening his eyes. Newt doesn’t call him Thomas. He looked at his palm before the ringing in his ears continued. Still, he wanted answers. It wouldn’t be Thomas if he weren’t looking for answers. He wanted to know why his ears were ringing or why his head was throbbing quadruple the amount it should be normally. How Newt is just there, but he doesn’t know where.
“Newt, where are yo-”
“Fucking hell, Thomas. Wake the fuck up! Mothefucker, wake up before I slap the shit out of you.”
“Stop it, Ly. Is it another of his breakdowns?”
“This isn’t typical, hermano.”
“Gally, maybe we should just leave him be.”
Hearing different voices, Thomas opened his eyes again to see Gally shaking him rapidly, with Brenda, Minho, and Jorge standing at his side.
“Newt-”
The last thing he saw was how everyone’s eyes widened and how Minho started rushing to him, saying apologetic words while trying to reach him.
“Do you think love is just a distraction in a world on the brink of destruction?” Ava said. Her footsteps were so quiet that Thomas didn’t realize she was coming.
They are watching the Glade on a big screen. He can see how they live so peacefully, cooking together, having playful fights, and overall having the collaboration that WCKD didn’t wanna see. They wanted them afraid. Dead. Triggered. Anything negative that can greatly contribute to the cure. Thomas found it cruel. He knows it’s for the betterment of the world, but he cannot fathom how it justifies the means of sacrificing the youth. But how can he know? His life started at the lab, at helping create the maze, at formulating a possible cure. He has the responsibility to save the world, or so Ava told him to. He couldn't care less.
“Thomas?” Ava called out.
“What?”
“My question. You haven’t answered it. Are you well?” she asked.
“Your question is meaningless and quite unanswerable for someone like me. Someone whose first memories are in a lab. Someone who has never encountered such distraction,” he blatantly answered, looking at her with hostility.
“If you ask me, you seem pretty distracted.” She pointed towards Newt by signaling using her head. “Must I do something with your heart as well? Your brain has been altered, yet you fight for what your instinct tells you to,” she added. Her gaze now fixated towards Newt, as if she’s trying to look for a way to get rid of the blonde.
“I must be smart, then, Ava. Maybe your brain-altering formulas don't actually work,” he sarcastically replied, now also staring at the blonde boy at the Glade gardening, switching every tab to follow all the places he goes.
“Then maybe it isn’t your brain working. There is a saying that the heart remembers things that the brain forgets. This boy, what is this boy to you? Do you remember, Thomas?” She pointed the ballpen she was holding at Newt, tapping him on the screen a few times, making it zoom in.
“You keep asking me questions on things I have no memories of,” he scoffed. “If I were to remember, would you erase it again?” His voice betrayed his nonchalant facade by giving out a hint of desperation. It’s only now that Ava saw Thomas falter, or so what he believes.
“No. Except if you go farther than what you did last time.”
“I’d love to see you try,” he challenged. He doesn’t know what he’s holding onto or what he has against Ava, but Thomas knew he won’t turn away again, not when he feels so close to the truth.
“I don’t know when or why your grudge with us started. But remember, Thomas, wicked is good. This is for the world. For everyone. For the future. I promise you I’d return your memories to you once everything is settled and we have found a cure.”
Receiving no response, Ava excused herself and walked away, leaving Thomas alone to watch the boy on the screen. His grudge started from Newt’s attempt. Something in him just suddenly snapped. As if an old flame in his heart was rekindled. He remembers how he caused a ruckus trying to force Ava to send someone into the maze to help.
The time Newt jumped was early in the morning; no one was awake to come to his aid immediately, but Thomas was. At 5 am, he stormed into the office where Ava stays and rests. No guards were able to stop him. He knocked on it repeatedly until she opened the door, clearly having just been woken up by his loud banging. He grabbed her by the collar and demanded to either help the blond boy or at least send enough medical equipment to aid him. Ava agreed on the second option.
It was also the time that the Gladers had an idea of someone watching them. It was too unusual that the box sent bandages and a cheap brace the same day Newt broke his leg. Though thankfully, if it weren’t for that, his left leg would’ve never worked again.
The chaos Thomas created led him to be lectured by Ava, Teresa, and Mary. Though he can tell that Mary was on his side. They kept blabbering about how it was disrespectful of him to charge into someone else’s property for shallow reasons and how his attitude towards WCKD kept changing over time. The entire time, his mind flew on the condition of the young blond. Not even listening to a word uttered by any of them, until Mary excused him.
“Goodness, madam. Did you excuse me for further lectures?” Thomas scoffed, jokingly. He knew Mary didn’t drag him for just further nagging.
“No. You are here to tell me whether you regained any of your memories or not,” she said sternly. In return, Thomas shook his head to say no. It is the truth. Thomas did not regain any memories nor even a clue of it. All he did was an act of impulse.
“Then what the hell were you trying to do there? Trying to cause all this ruckus and shit. Thomas, do you know what happens if you were to regain your memories and if they were to find out?”
“I don’t care.”
“Thomas.”
“I have a plan.”
“No. You don’t. And if you think you can go to me for help, think twice,” she said. She shot him a glare before attempting to walk out, but Thomas quickly grabbed her hand and dragged her to a nearby hallway.
“There is no security here,” he started. “My plan, madam. I will go to the maze.”
She rolled her eyes at his plan before massaging her temple in an attempt to calm herself down.
“Are you out of your mind? How is this plan in any way viable?”
“Please. Listen to me.” He pulled out a paper from his pocket and handed it to Mary. “These are all the credentials, passwords, and anything that can help you get out of here. This is also a way to contact the Right Arm. Once I force myself to go to the maze, it will also be the time the Right Arm will try to infiltrate our base.”
“You have connections with the Right Arm?” Shocked, she pulled her arm out of his grasp in disagreement. For Thomas, he’s doing the right thing; For Mary, Thomas is going insane.
“No. Janson predicted their attack. Your job, madam, is to help Right Arm. April 23rd, that is the date. Ava will be busy trying to stop me and erase my memories, and I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t meddle too much with the infiltration. That’s your chance to find anyone from the Right Arm and help them. Got it? He pulled her close to an exit as they heard guards approaching. Before he can talk again, he received a harsh slap from the older woman.
“Thomas, are you hearing yourself? You’re giving me a plan with no motive or reason. Why would you want to go to the maze and, at the same time, betray WCKD?”
Thomas sighs as they run out of time. “Madam, what we are doing is not right. Wicked will never be good. At this rate, as long as they experiment on youth, we won’t have the future we’re both seeking. At least not in this kind of way. Madam, you are our chance. Please,” he begged.
After a minute of pacing back and forth and muttering curses to Thomas, Mary finally let out a convinced sigh.
“Alright. I understand.” She tapped his shoulders. “I know where you’re coming from, Thomas.” He smiled at her words.
“So you’ll go to the maze as a distraction?”
“No. I need to save them. The ones in the maze.”
“What?” Hesitation crept into her voice again. “You cannot save everyone. You know that.”
“I know. I will go to the Glade. I’ve sent clues to the other mazes discreetly. Trust me. I’ve planned this thoroughly.”
“No. No. I know the reason why. That man. The one who had been a hindrance for Ava to get to you. He is the reason, isn’t he?” she scoffed, shaking her head. Mary took Thomas’ hand and placed the paper on it.
“Madam, please. That isn’t my only reason. I need answers for many, many things.”
Before Mary could protest, Thomas dropped onto both of his knees. Looking up to her with tears swelling in his eyes. He desperately tried to put the paper back in her hand. She could see the desperation in his eyes and voice.
They both knew they were running out of time, but Mary couldn’t let him go to such lengths. Not when his life is at stake.
“That man had enslaved you, Thomas,” she breathed out.
She’s convinced that he was brainwashed by the thought of the blonde boy.
“That man freed me, madam.”
As for Thomas, if it wasn’t for Newt, he wouldn’t realize the truth. He’d continue to blindly follow Janson and Ava’s lead. Newt saved Thomas. He’s only returning that favor.
Her eyes widened. To think such words would come out of his mouth. How could he utter such nonsense? For someone like her who is old enough to know. Those are the words of a man who’s head over heels and nota man who has a goal to save the world.
BEEP BEEP BEEP
“Attention to all staff. Reporting an active attack inside all buildings of WCKD. We are issuing an evacuation order for all staff. Please return to your respective rooms calmly. Thank you.”
“It’s—It’s the right arm, madam! You have to go right now!”
Thomas rushed to drag Mary out of the emergency exit, shoving the paper into her lab coat.
“Thomas! Stop!”
He stopped and looked at the older woman behind him.
“Y-yes?” he whispered, out of breath.
“How’d you know it is the Right Arm? And what about your plan to go to the maze?? I thought you had this all planned perfectly, Thomas?”
“I can never plan perfectly, madam. I’m sorry. But I just know it’s them, and I really need you to go.”
With how things are escalating, Mary can’t fully trust Thomas. But for the years she spent with the organization, she knows this is their only chance.
“Then we must wait for you.”
“Madam, it wouldn’t take me 3 hours to go to the maze and rescue everyone. I will find a way. Please. Just listen.”
She nodded. Even though Mary was half-convinced, she still followed Thomas. Both of them were fighting for the same beliefs and the same future. She trusts that he will make it right for them—for everyone.
“Thomas, take care. Please,” she bowed in defeat. “Thank you for giving me this chance.”
“It’s nothing,” he smiled before running off and bumping into security. He urged them to go back as there is no other staff nor enemy because he just ‘checked’.
To: Mr. Stanford and Ms. Anastasia
Request for Extension and Update on Serum Development
I hope this memorandum finds you well.
I am writing to formally request additional time regarding our current work. WCKD has identified a highly feasible method to produce more of the serum. As part of this development, we will be deploying one of our most valuable personnel into the Maze to gather further data.
This initiative is expected to provide us with more critical clues and significantly improve our formula. I assure you that this extension will not take long, and Mr. Thomas will oversee the process to ensure efficiency and progress.
Thank you for your understanding and continued support.
Respectfully,
Ava Paige