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Robby drew a long, weary breath as soon as he stepped out of the elevator, hyper-aware that his hands were still shaking.
Today's shift had been brutal. The kind that clung to him long after he clocked out. He always tried not to bring work home with him, but that was hard to do when he could still hear the persistent beeping of the asystole alarm from the cardiac monitor.
By the time he reached his apartment, he was exhausted, bone-deep and worn thin. He fumbled with his keys longer than usual before finally managing to get the door open.
He was just about to breathe a sigh of relief when the noise hit him.
Loud, high-pitched music spilled out into the hallway the second the door cracked open. It was one of those videos Dennis liked watching while regressed, all bright colors and cheerful repetition, blaring at full volume through the TV. The sound clashed sharply with the dull pounding still lingering at the back of Robby's head.
He stepped inside, tossing his bag aside before immediately starting to search for the remote, desperate to turn the noise down.
The apartment was a mess. Not worse than usual, but cluttered enough that his already overloaded brain struggled to process it. Toys were scattered across the floor, a blanket half-dragged off the couch. A pair of Dennis' pants lay abandoned near the hallway, like it had been taken off mid-step and forgotten.
"Daddy!"
Dennis's voice came quick and bright over the music, full of excitement, his smile immediate and unfiltered.
He hurried toward him, socked feet soft against the floor, his teddy bear clutched tightly in one hand.
"Home! Dad-"
"—Dennis, not right now."
The words came out too fast, too sharp, edged with everything Robby hadn't left behind at work. He kept searching until he finally found the remote wedged between the couch cushions, quickly turning the TV off entirely. The silence that followed rang just as loudly for a moment.
"B-but..." Dennis tried to protest, his smile already gone, confusion replacing the bright happiness that had been there seconds ago. His fingers tightened around his bear.
"I said not right now," Robby snapped, dragging a hand down his face as he stepped past him, maneuvering around the scattered toys. "Can you just— give me a minute?"
Dennis flinched.
Robby didn't turn around. He made it to the kitchen and braced both hands against the counter, head dropping forward as he exhaled sharply, trying to steady himself.
Without the TV blaring or Dennis's bright chatter, the apartment had gone quiet. Just not the kind of quiet Robby wanted. Instead, the silence felt thick, almost suffocating.
There was a soft shuffle, footsteps retreating, followed by a faint creak of the couch as Dennis climbed onto it.
And then nothing.
Robby's stomach suddenly dropped as the weight of what he'd done hit him all at once. He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, guilt quickly washing over him.
He lifted his head and crossed the room, moving back toward the couch to check on Dennis.
The boy was curled up on the cushion, knees pulled close to his chest. His bear was pressed against his face, nose rubbing along the fur as his shoulders shook with quiet, hiccuping sobs.
"Hey-no, no, no," Robby said, dropping to his knees beside him. "Sweetheart,"
Dennis shook his head quickly, turning away. "Was bad," he murmured.
"No." Robby's voice softened, every word dripping with guilt as he reached out carefully. "No, baby, you didn't do anything wrong. That was me. That was my fault."
Dennis sniffled, still not looking at him. "Daddy mad." He whispered.
"I'm not mad at you," Robby said gently, shifting closer. "I promise I'm not mad at you. I had a really bad day-I was overwhelmed, and I was mean, and I shouldn't have been. You didn't do anything wrong, okay? Not even a little bit."
Dennis peeked up at him through wet lashes, his lip trembling. "Wan' daddy,"
"Oh, sweetheart," Robby muttered, gathering the boy into his arms. "You have me. You always have me. I'm right here."
Dennis melted into him with a small, broken sound, clutching tightly at his shirt in a familiar, instinctive way. "So'wwy," he mumbled into the fabric.
"No, none of that," Robby whispered, pressing a soft kiss into his hair, then another, and another. "You don't say sorry. I do. I was too mean, huh?"
Dennis gave a small, reluctant nod against him.
"I know," Robby murmured, rocking him gently. "I know, sweetheart. I'm so sorry I scared you."
Dennis inched closer, still clingy and a little shaky."... still wan' me?"
Robby's response was immediate. "Always," he said without hesitation. "I always want you. That never changes. Not ever."
There was a brief pause before Dennis finally relaxed into him. "O'tay."
Robby stayed there for a long moment, just holding him, rocking him gently, trailing more apologetic kisses over his temple, his nose, and the curve of his cheek.
After a while, he shifted slowly, lifting Dennis up and carrying him down the hallway to the bedroom. His back ached at the weight, but he ignored the pain.
Dennis curled into him instinctively, arms loose around his neck, cheek pressed to his shoulder, trusting him completely.
Robby eased them both onto the bed, settling onto his side and guiding Dennis close again, tucking him against his chest beneath the blanket. Dennis immediately nuzzled in, one persistent hand still clutching Robby's shirt.
Robby wrapped one arm securely around him, the other cradling the back of his head, his fingers moving slowly through his curls in gentle, repetitive strokes. "I've got you," he murmured.
After a moment, he reached for his phone, keeping one arm around Dennis as he pulled it into view. He knew exactly what might cheer his boy up.
Dennis peeked at the screen, curiosity flickering through his lingering tears, his eyes widening slightly as Robby scrolled through online listings of pacifiers, sippy cups, and toys.
"It's been a while since we got you something new, hm?" Robby said softly. "You can pick whatever you want if you promise to keep your toys tidy from now on." He smiled a little.
Dennis nodded quickly, enthused. "Promise, daddy, promise!"
Robby huffed a quiet, fond laugh.
They scrolled for a bit, Dennis pointing eagerly at every item he wanted. Robby noticed how easily he could predict the boy's choices.
“‘Dis one!" He insisted when they came across a sippy cup decorated with colorful cartoon farm animals.
"Alright," Robby nodded, clicking on it.
"...Blue one too?" Dennis added, softer.
Robby chuckled and added that one too.
They picked a few more things, two plush toys and a new pacifier, before Robby set the phone aside, his attention returning fully to Dennis.
"T'ank you," Dennis whispered meekly.
Robby leaned down, lips lightly grazing his temple.
"You don't have to thank me," he said quietly. "I'm the one who messed up. I'm just trying to fix it. I'm so sorry," he repeated once again, a little quieter. "I shouldn't have snapped at you like that."
Dennis made a soft little sound, shifting closer. Robby stilled for a moment before his arms tightened gently around him. It seemed like he was forgiven.
He let out a slow breath, his forehead resting against Dennis. Somewhere along the way, the tightness in his chest had loosened. The noises from earlier no longer echoed in his head, and the mess he'd walked into felt insignificant.
He realized then that what he thought he wanted— the empty, quiet apartment and the space to be alone, was not what he needed at all. It almost felt wrong in comparison to this. Dennis nestled against him, their breaths slow and steady together... It all grounded Robby in a way silence never could.
It's what finally allowed him to take a deep, unguarded breath and release the weight that's been on his shoulders all day.
Dennis shifted closer against him, his voice barely audible as he muttered a sleepy "’Wub you, daddy,"
Robby smiled faintly, suddenly feeling like the luckiest man in the world. His thumb brushed gently along Dennis's temple.
"I love you too, baby." He whispered, pressing one last kiss into his hair before they both drifted off, wrapped in the quiet warmth of each other's presence.