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"Um... Weiqianbei?" Wei Wuxian looked up from his desk and spotted Lan Jingyi standing in the doorway of the classroom, unusually nervous-looking. Of course, they were all out of sorts after the weeks-long cultivation conference that had just ended - if Wei Wuxian had been laboring under the false impression that people would have learned how to behave themselves in the last thirteen years while he was gone, that mistake was well and truly corrected now. If anything, everyone had gotten more petty and ridiculous in that time. It'd been bad enough that by the last few days, Lan Qiren no longer scowled when Wei Wuxian jokingly threatened to scare everyone into silence with a bit of dizi music. By the last day, the man had looked like he was actually considering it as an option.
"Lan Jingyi! What can I do for you?" He asked, waving the boy in. The juniors had been absolute troopers during this whole mess. If some elder was kicking up a fuss when the juniors should be getting a break, Wei Wuxian was going to go to war. Lan Jingyi hurried forward, but when he reached Wei Wuxian's desk, he seemed more nervous than ever.
"Weiquainbei, um, I don't want you to be mad, but..." Goodness, now Wei Wuxian really was worried.
"If I'm mad, it won't be at you. Now, I might be disappointed, but that's different." Lan Jingyi looked briefly dismayed at the idea of being a 'disappointment', but he rallied quickly.
"No, Weiqianbei, I didn't do anything. I mean, I discovered it, but..." Wei Wuxian did try to not blatantly break (most) of the rules in front of the juniors, but they had all pretty much learned that when he looked at them a particular way, it was time for them to hush. Lan Jingyi obligingly hushed.
"What was it you discovered?" He asked, redirecting away from further conversational circling.
"So... do you remember the paintings? The ones you made for the guest rooms?" Lan Jingyi asked, trying (and failing) not to wince. Wei Wuxian nodded - they were all really doodles for Lan Zhan. Places he had seen on night hunts, scenes around Cloud Recesses, bunnies (so many bunnies)... basically anything that caught his attention when he had a spare moment and the necessary supplies. It had started after he'd taken some time for himself after... well. Everything. But it had continued once he returned, and soon Lan Zhan had quite the collection. When it had been decided that Cloud Recesses would be hosting the next cultivation conference, Lan Zhan had decided that some of the drawings would be used in the guest rooms. Considering that none of the selected pieces were terribly objectionable, and the guest rooms were known for being somewhat on the drab side, the paintings had gone up. As far as Wei Wuxian knew, only two people had clocked the art as being his. Nie Huaisang had made a comment during one of the socialization events early on praising the piece in his room, highlighting the 'lively and unconvential' art style. Jiang Cheng had, during a late-night drinking session between the two of them, bemoaned the fact that Lan Wangji really had no sense of shame, and was even inflicting Wei Wuxian's art on all of them. He had then, in the very next breath, loudly protested when Wei Wuxian offered to have the piece that was in the Jiang quarters removed. Wei Wuxian had been very glad that Jiang Cheng appreciated it.
"Yes? Don't worry about getting them back quickly, it really isn't that big a deal." Wei Wuxian assured him, but that just made the little scrunch in Lan Jingyi's brow deepen.
"We can't get them back! Well, one of them, anyway." Lan Jingyi finally blurted out. "We were cleaning out the guest houses, and... well. The one from the Yao sect quarters is missing."
Wei Wuxian blinked at this, even as he distantly recognized that Lan Jingyi had managed to narrowly avoid attributing the theft to the Yao sect directly. He would have to remember to mention that later. It was a rare moment of diplomacy from the most un-Lannish of Lans. Such things were to be encouraged, when he honestly accomplished them.
"... The one with the waterfall?" Wei Wuxian finally managed, flummoxed by the ridiculousness of it all. Lan Jingyi nodded miserably. Thankfully, that one didn't have any particular emotional resonance for Wei Wuxian - he'd drawn it fairly soon after returning to Cloud Recesses, when he'd been lazing around, working up the courage to ask Lan Zhan if he could stay. Turned out he didn't actually have to be that brave, but that was something he could have only learned by doing the thing he was scared of.
"Well. That was... somewhat silly of them." Wei Wuxian did not feel the need to be diplomatic - there really were no good alternate suspects in such a case. "Maybe it was one of the juniors who didn't know better. I'll have someone send over a letter to see if they could send it back. Don't worry Lan Jingyi, it's a minor problem."
Lan Jingyi still looked miserable.
"... and I will tell your Hanguang Jun about it." He added, and snickered when Lan Jingyi nearly fell over himself thanking him. He would have to tease Lan Zhan about scaring the little adorable juniors again. It really was too cute.
It turned out that it really was a good thing that Wei Wuxian had taken over the duty of informing Lan Zhan. It turned out that while Wei Wuxian had no particular fondness for that particular drawing, Lan Zhan had been incensed by the theft, and had been ready to go take it back that evening. It had taken every power of persuasion Wei Wuxian had to convince Lan Zhan that a strongly worded letter asking for the return of the piece was more than sufficient.
They spent most of the night.... 'debating the matter'.
Wei Wuxian had his breakfast standing up the next morning. For no particular reason, really. Lan Zhan had also been insufferably smug, for completely unrelated reasons, definitely.
Wei Wuxian hadn't really thought more about the matter - the letter had been sent, Wei Wuxian had spent some time in the Cold Pond, and life moved on.
Then a letter came back.
It was polite. It was written on very nice paper, with passable calligraphy.
It called the theft a 'mistake in packing', alluding to the idea that juniors would be juniors, and the next time the Yao sect had the honor of visiting the Lan sect, they would surely return it.
Wei Wuxian thought it was a shockingly blase sort of answer from a minor sect, but who was he to start calling other people shameless? So he told Jiang Cheng, because he knew for a fact that Jiang Cheng would be absolutely free about calling the Yao sect shameless. He and Lan Zhan were visiting Lotus Pier just in time for the kite festival, and Wei Wuxian was sprawled in one of the more secluded pavilions - Jiang Cheng was making some vague attempt at proper posture, but Jin Ling had given up the ghost long ago and was fully sprawled. Wei Wuxian still had the best spot, with his head pillowed in Lan Zhan's lap as he told his story. He was rewarded with outraged but not outright murderous exclamations from Jiang Cheng and Jin Ling. Lan Zhan did not react – after all, he and Lan Zhan had already 'debated' the matter at length. Wei Wuxian had deeply enjoyed every moment, and looked forward to future 'debates' with his husband.
"No, no, but I haven't told you the best part." Wei Wuxian shouted above their replies, his voice full of laughter. "Yaozongzhu was actually in Cloud Recesses two weeks ago with some of his sect, because they were petitioning Lan Zhan for aid in a night hunt to subdue a tiger yao that's been harrassing their farmers to the north."
He caught their looks of bright interest, and he grinned. Both of them would have gotten prickly if Lan Zhan had asked, but now they'd be offended if they weren't asked. See, shijie? They still worked together well.
"And he didn't bring it! He seemed surprised it was even mentioned!" Wei Wuxian revealed. The resulting uproar was delicious. Both Jiang Cheng and Jin Ling put forth numerous plans to liberate the pilfered artwork from the Yao sect, but Wei Wuxian waved them down, laughing.
"Oh, don't worry. I have a plan, and I think it will be very effective." That, of course, had been a miscalculation - it opened the door to Jiang Cheng complaining about the general quality of Wei Wuxian's plans, and the resulting roasting went on almost to dinnertime.
"Alright, one last time - what are the rules?" Wei Wuxian asked, a hint of his 'head disciple' voice slipping out without permission. He was fairly certain this wouldn't be necessary. Surely the Yao sect wouldn't openly insult Gusu Lan. Surely they would too be interested in keeping Gusu Lan happy, at least until after the tiger yao was done and dusted. Jiang Cheng, in front of his own small herd of purple-clad juniors, looked over curiously.
"Do not take anything important." One of the juniors behind him piped up.
"Do not take anything that will cause signficant harm or discomfort by it being missing." Another clarified, because there had been a long debate about what 'important' might entail.
"Do not take anything that culturally significant to the Yao sect." A third added, somewhat forbiddingly.
"Do not take anything at all if they give back what they've stolen promptly." A fourth added after a significant silence.
"Very good. And do not get caught. Anyone who gets caught will have to take special classes in stealth from me, and you won't enjoy it." Wei Wuxian promised gleefully. He glanced over - Jiang Cheng looked stunned. Jin Ling, with his own small contingent of juniors, looked thoughtful. Hmm. He thought to add that this was for the Lan juniors only, who had been all rather upset by the whole affair, but then the gates in front of them started to creak open.
There wasn't any more time to worry about it. The Yao sect was inviting them in to their compound, and everything was in the hands of fate, now.
The Yao sect did not produce the pilfered art. Wei Wuxian had talked Lan Zhan out of mentioning it - frankly, it had been talked about enough that if the Yao sect decided to play ignorance, it could only be on purpose. Wei Wuxian was glad that Jin Ling and Jiang Cheng had invited themselves along to this night hunt. The tiger yao proved to be a formidable foe, and it took the efforts of the full contingent of cultivators present to subdue the creature. On top of that, having Jiang Cheng and Jin Ling around, along with Lan Zhan, kept Wei Wuxian from dying from the sheer inanity of Yaozongzhu's conversation. Still, it was disappointing that Yaozongzhu decided that he was going to try and keep his ill-gotten gains - even after they dealt with the tiger yao for them! Such discourtesy.
After they left, they retired to a nearby inn for the night, to rest before returning to their home territories in the morning. They rented out the largest room upstairs for them to gather for a meal, rather than taking up all the seats downstairs. Throughout the meal, Wei Wuxian watched the juniors shoot each other significant glances, and for once he didn't try to break the 'no talking' rule - it was too much fun watching them try to coordinate with each other over who would bring the whole matter up. Jiang Cheng, beside him, looked increasingly concerned. Just because none of the juniors were caught at it, did he think they had abandoned the plan? Such lack of faith in his talented juniors!
Once the plates had been cleared, Lan Jingyi and Lan Sizhui stood up together and bowed. Ahh, he thought they might be the ones to do it. Wei Wuxian leaned back, prepared to be entertained by his juniors attempt at petty revenge.
He hadn't realized his juniors were a bunch of secret hooligans.
"Weiqianbei, we would like to present our findings." Lan Sizhui announced, and opened his hands to reveal... a ball of neatly coiled string. "All of the strings for their spare bows."
Lan Jingyi, with a grin that might be breaking the rules all on its own, pulled a beautiful potted orchid out of his qiankun pouch.
Wei Wuxian, expecting the presentation to end there, opened his mouth, but one of the younger Lan disciples, a sweet-faced girl who had taken to talisman design like a duck takes to water presented a set of window drapes, the fabric meticulously folded. Sheepishly four more disciples pulled out matching drapes, with varying states of care ranging from equally well-folded to one that was presented as a bunched wad. A wave of pens followed, one of which was unfortunately still wet with ink when it had been stored, much to that junior's dismay. Various chopsticks and teacups followed, and Wei Wuxian took to constructing little teacup towers as he struggled not to collapse in disbelieving giggles.
And then one of the Jiang juniors, a moon-faced boy who looked as innocent as a baby lamb, carefully placed a wooden training sword on the table, very carefully not looking Jiang Cheng in the eye as he did so. Wei Wuxian lost control for a moment, one high-pitched snort of laughter escaping before he clapped his hands over his mouth. Jiang Cheng put his head in his hands as his other juniors, thus encouraged, came forth with various objects, ranging from one of the pillows from the beds they had been provided to a pot from the kitchens. The pile was growing quite alarming. Wei Wuxian hysterically considered that he hadn't fully thought through this plan - clearly the juniors of this generation were all degenerates just waiting for an excuse. After the last Jiang junior sat back down, finally silence reigned. Lan Zhan, Wei Wuxian, and Jiang Cheng studied the pile, but no one spoke.
And then Jin Ling pulled out his qiankun pouch.
"No." Jiang Cheng sounded like he wasn't sure if he should be horrified or proud. Wei Wuxian wasn't sure either, but he surely hoped that shijie could see that her son had that Jiang spark. Without a word, Jin Ling pulled out the cushion which had been on Yaozongzhu's chair, and he placed it, pride of place, right in front of Wei Wuxian.
The room descended into a chaos of shouts, with Jin Ling looking outrageously pleased with himself. Into that mess one of the servants from downstairs entered, and presented a sealed letter to Lan Zhan. The servant rapidly retreated from the racous scene. Wei Wuxian leaned against Jiang Cheng's shoulder, snickering quietly, while Lan Zhan opened and perused the letter. After a moment, he picked up one of the purloined pens and, after having some ink produced, flipped over the letter to write a quick reply. One of the juniors was sent down with it.
"Lan Zhan?" Wei Wuxian asked, quietly, to not disturb the jubilant juniors.
"Yaozongzhu has noted that some items may have been... unfortunately mixed with our luggage as we left. I advised him that if he returned the art that had gone missing from Cloud Recesses, we will be willing to look for the items he is searching for." Lan Zhan explained, as calmly as if he were commenting on the weather. Wei Wuxian whooped in victory, and Jiang Cheng groaned.
While they waited, another junior was dispatched to locate a box large enough to contain all of their loot. The Lans were just starting to look a little owlish due to the hour when Yao Mingli, the heir of the Yao sect, finally arrived at the inn. Wei Wuxian went down to meet the cultivator alone - due to the hour, the downstairs hall was fairly empty, and he was able to obtain a seat near the door, with space to keep his box of loot near at hand. The boy looked like he came ready for a fight, but when he saw Wei Wuxian sitting alone, twirling Chengqing idly, a careful not-smile on his face... well. He came to the very wise decision that maybe this matter needed to be brought to an end quietly. The picture was handed over, thankfully undamaged, without any of the commentary Wei Wuxian could see Yao Mingli forcefully biting back.
"Ahh, thank you Yaogonzi, this has been much missed, you understand. Of course, we well know how things can just... disappear into common luggage so easily." Wei Wuxian noted jovially as he nudged the box forward with his foot, the cushion jauntily set on top. Yao Mingli turned several interesting colors, but in the end he took the box quietly and left.
Wei Wuxian looked over the drawing, shaking his head. Honestly, this had taken him, what, half a shi? Barely? Such a silly thing to cause so much chaos. But at least it was over now.
When Wei Wuxian came back upstairs, he found every face watching him carefully, and the room was quiet enough one could hear a pin drop. Wei Wuxian couldn't help it, he really couldn't.
"Victory!" He crowed, holding up the drawing. In the end, they had to put up noise-cancelling talismans to keep the innkeeper from complaining about the noise, which went well into the night.