Work Text:
Monday Morning 8am sharp.
Beca drags herself to Bella’s Rehearsal although she already had a bad day. It started the night before. She really needed to get the set done for the finals and out of a tiny little fix, she added a whole new song to the set and stayed up until 4 in the morning. Exhausted and tired she collapsed into bed and didn’t hear her alarm. At 6 in the morning Kimmi Jin got ready for her morning run and of course woke Beca up from her peaceful sleep. And two hours of half awake sleeping she is trying to make it to rehearsal on time.
With a bit of speed walking she actually makes it.
“Morning” Beca murmurs as she sets her bag down. Everyone else was already there.
“Beca! Where have you been?!” A loud commanding voice asks.
Aubrey. Of course it’s Aubrey. Who else would greet you with shouting?
Beca sleepily looks at her phone.
“Aubrey it’s 8:02 am, I’m not even late”
“Beca, do you never look in the group chat?” Aubrey asks accusingly and steps closer towards her. She pulls out her phone, opens the group chat and reads out loud:”’ Hey guys, just a quick info: Rehearsal begins half an hour early tomorrow, finals are nearly there and we really need to rehearse with the new set’ And here you are half an hour late and we couldn’t practise because you didn’t even send the set!”
Beca shuts her eyes and rubs her temples. She lets out a loud sigh “ ahh sorry about that. Didn’t read it. Anyway now I’m here and I have the set with an added song so let’s get going” She hands her the stick with the set and the bellas gather around the speakers.
Aubrey and Chloe stand in the front. Chloe leans forward, whispering so only Aubrey can hear her. “Relax a bit Aubs, She is here now, we can start”. “But she was late. Again. This can’t keep going like this.” Aubrey said tight with frustration. “We talked about this Aubrey. We need her… and right now you are judging a book by its cover. Beca is reliable, she is good with music and has a lovely personality. You know exactly what I’m talking about. Don’t be like Alice”
In fact, Beca and Chloe have been in a relationship for three weeks. Ever since the beginning, there was a spark between them and it didn’t take long for both of them to realize it. But Beca still has some secrets she hasn’t shared with Chloe yet. Some of them are small, just never coming up in conversation, but others… Beca keeps them hidden because she doesn’t want to be seen as weak.
“Don’t compare me to Alice” Aubrey snarled.
Alice was the team captain the year before. A senior like Aubrey and Chloe are now. She was strict and against anything new and “unladylike”. But most of all, Alice hated Chloe and Aubrey and made the first two Bella years for them like hell. Especially when Aubrey had the ‘Accident’ last year at finals.
Chloe and Aubrey exchanged a look, before Aubrey clapped her hands and started to play the mix. Chloe sat down next to Beca.
The first thing Beca notices are the lights. They are bright, too bright. But not just bright, they feel wrong. Like it’s flickering somewhere at the edge of her vision, even though she knows it isn’t. Beca rubs her temples in an attempt to rub it away somehow.
“Hey, don’t worry about Aubrey, she is just stressed about the finals” Chloe says softly and quiet. “It’s okay, I get it” Beca murmurs as an answer.
Chloe senses something is wrong. She knows Beca isn’t really enthusiastic when it comes to answers or rehearsals or Aubrey, but she would have stood her ground and not just brushed it off. She also notices the way she rubs her temples and shuts her eyes closed.
“Everything okay Becs?”
“Mhh yeah” Beca sighs and opens her eyes slightly “just tired. I worked on the set till 4 in the morning, then Kimmi Jin started her morning run and I slept half asleep for another hour.”
“Mhh you sure you’re okay? You look a bit… off” Chloe says concerned.
“Yeah. Just let’s get done with this” Beca gestures toward Aubrey and the whiteboard, where she is already drawing up a choreography.
10 Minutes later they start with the choreography by just copying Aubreys movement.
The flickering lines cut across becas vision, jagged and sharp, twisted at the edges. Every noise she hears feels distant, like it’s coming from underwater, while those jagged lines keep crawling across her eyes. And that’s when Beca recognises it. It’s a migraine attack slowly creeping in. It’s going to be a bad one. But she wants to just get over with the rehearsal. Come on Beca, you fought through harder ones. She tells herself. What also immediately floods through her mind is, that Chloe doesn’t know Beca has migraines. She doesn’t want to be seen as weak, especially not infront of her beautiful girlfriend. She just hopes it isn’t going to be so bad that she throws because that would be super embarrassing infront of Chloe. Her mind races, trying to copy Aubrey’s movements, but everything feels slippery, like sand slipping through her fingers. She blinks, once, then again, harder this time. The room doesn’t change. If anything it gets worse. Her vision blurs a bit, part of Aubrey’s body just… missing. Like someone took an eraser and just erased it. And with that she missed half of Aubrey’s movements.
“Beca! Focus! You can’t just stand there and do nothing!” Aubrey shouts through the room. The Noise is loud, too loud. It feels like it echoes through her skull. Beca nods and Aubrey starts again. The flickering lines sharpen, forming jagged patterns that cut across her vision. She loses track of the movements. Again.
“Shit” Beca murmurs quiet to herself.
“Okay stop everyone! Let’s take a quick break, but after that you all must be in complete focus. Understood? Beca?” Aubrey announces, her voice tight.
The bellas start to sit down at various places. Beca settles alone on a small bench near the door. She sits down with her water bottle and closes her eyes, while rubbing her temples again. After a few minutes, Aubrey claps again and they all gather around another time.
They start again. By the time the patterns start to fade, the relief doesn’t come. The pain does. It starts as a dull pressure behind her right eye. Then it pulses. Harder. Sharper. The squeaking of sneakers against the floor suddenly feel like they are kicking against her eyeball. The bright lights feel like they are burning through her skull, and once again Beca looses track the movements. “Fuck” she murmurs under her breath.
Chloe keeps her eyes stern on her. She observes every movement of hers. The clumsy motions, the muttered swears, the way she looks slightly pale.
A wave of nausea creeps up Becas throat. She swallows hard, her throat suddenly dry. Her mouth fills with saliva, a warning sign she knows all too well. She presses her lips together, trying to keep it down. Her stomach churns and she keeps gulping, like she’s trying to push the feeling back down. No, not now. Not infront of everyone.
The music stops again. Aubrey is already storming towards Beca with a look, that would send shivers down your spine. But before she gets there, Chloe turns towards Beca.
“Seriously Beca, what’s going on? Are you okay?”
Before she even gets to answer, she clamps a hand over her mouth and straight up bolts towards the exit.
All the Bellas look at each other confused. Worried glances exchange the room. Even Aubrey looks taken aback and unsure what just happened. None of them say anything. The room falls uncomfortably quiet. After a few moments Chloe breaks the silence.
“I’m gonna look after her”
Outside Beca braces herself with one hand on her knee and the other on the wall. Inside it felt horrible, but outside it feels like a living hell.
It’s a typical mid July day. 34 degrees Celsius and the sun stronger than ever. It hits her like a bullet. Pressure builds behind her eyes, like her head might crack open. The chirping of the birds sound like cracks inside her brain. The world tilts, just slightly, enough to make her stomach twist and her head spin. Her knees threaten to give out, a slight tremble running through her legs as she leans more of her weight against the wall.
“Beca!?” Chloe calls out. Her words feel like a knife cutting through Becas skull.
Then Chloe sees her. “Omg Beca! What’s going on? Are you okay? Do you need water or anything?” Beca squeezes her eyes shut even more. “Too loud” She says weak.
“I wasn’t even lo-“ She cuts herself off. “Okay, okay I’ll be quiet. Becs can you look at me and tell me what’s going on please?”
Beca tries to open her eyes, but as they fluttered open just the slightest she flinches. Her stomach turns violently again.
“Go… away…” She says weak and with a breaking voice.
“Becs… you are clearly not okay, I’m not going to leave you”
Beca shakes her head weakly, her grip on the wall tightening.
“Please…” Her stomach lurches again, harder this time, and she knows she won’t be able to hold it back any longer. She turns away slightly, one hand flying back to her mouth as her body folds forward. There’s barely any warning before she retches, the motion violent enough to make her knees buckle. Her whole body shakes. She barely has time to breathe, before another wave hits.
Chloe immediately steps forwards and holds Becas hair back carefully. One hand gentle on her back. “Shhh, it’s okay… I’ve got you. Let it all out”.
After a few Minutes Beca slides down the wall to the ground. Her breathing is uneven and shaking. Her eyes still squeezed shut. Her body still trembles a bit from exhaustion. Her head hangs down between her knees, avoiding eye contact with Chloe. She knows she needs to get inside and out of the sun, but right now she just can’t.
“Hey… what’s going on?” Chloe’s voice is tight with worry and confusion. But Beca can’t answer. Everything is still too loud, too overwhelming, too exhausting.
Silence hangs between them for a few moments.
“Does something hurt?”
“Head…” Beca whispers, the word barely coming out.
Chloe goes quiet for a moment, her brows narrowing as she looks at her.
“Your head…?” She repeats slowly. Her gaze flickers briefly towards the burning sun, than back at Beca. “… Is it a migraine?” She asks in conclusion. Beca gives a small nod.
“Oh okay…we need to get you inside okay?”
Beca shakes her head and the dull pain immediately sharpens. She lets out a small groan. “Can’t” she murmurs.
Chloes expression softens immediately.
“It’s okay, no rush” She shifts closer. “You can lean on me, okay?” Beca nods hesitantly.
As she tries to push herself up, she slumps back down again. “Let me help you” Chloe says softly and steadies her arms under Becas armpits and slowly pulls her to her feet. Her knees buckle a bit. Chloe immediately wraps one arm around her waist and pulls Becas arms around her shoulder to steady her. Beca fully leans on her. Her head lightly resting on Chloe’s shoulder.
“I’ve got you” Chloe says throughout the whole way to her dorm. She decided to bring Beca to her dorm since it’s the shortest way. Their steps are slow and uneven, Becas weight heavy against her as they arrive. “We’re here Becs” Chloe says a bit more relaxed. She slowly guides Beca to the bed and lays her down. “Lights out?” Beca gives a small nod. “Fan off too?” Another nod. “Water?” She shakes her head.
Carefully Chloe makes her way to close the curtains, and turn off the fan quietly. Meanwhile beca crawls under the blankets and curls herself into a small ball. As Chloe joins her she lets out a small, broken “thanks”. “Shh, it’s okay babe, just rest”.
It doesn’t take long before Beca’s breathing evens out, her body finally giving in to the exhaustion. Chloe stays awake a little longer, processing what just happened. Why did she never tell her?
Becas eyes flutter open slowly. She takes in her sorundings. The first thing she notices is that she isn’t in her own bed, she’s in Chloes, and Chloe is storing awake right next to her. Yesterdays events start to flood back in her mind.
“Hey” she says softly. “Hey Becs” Chloe answers sleepy. “How are you?” “Exhausted, but better” Beca says with a mix of guilt and embarrassment. “I’m so sorry about yesterday Chlo”. “Hey, Hey there is nothing to be sorry for. But why didn’t you tell me?” Beca takes a moment, deciding wether or wether not to tell her.
“I… I didn’t want you to see me like that. Weak. And… I guess… I was afraid you might think… I don’t know… that I’d be less… attractive… to you… god that’s sounds so embarrassing”. For a moments she looks at her hands, fidgeting with the end of the blanket. “But I’m glad you were there…I felt kinda safe”. She then looks back at Chloe.
Chloe smiles softly, brushing a strand of hair from Beca’s face. “Becs… you’ll always be beautiful to me.”
Beca’s lips curl into a small, genuine smile as she leans closer, finally letting herself relax into Chloe’s arms.
At that moment, Beca realised you don’t always have to hide your secrets and weaknesses. Not with Chloe. Not ever. Sometimes you just need someone to help you.