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1.
Balancing the yajirobe has been rather difficult as of late.
Not that it was ever an easy task to begin with, but these past few weeks, it’s been harder to keep up with than usual. On Monday, whilst picking up a few groceries from the store, he slipped on a spillage that hadn’t been cleaned up and knocked into an impressive tower of cans that fell directly on top of him.
Then, on Wednesday, he attended Himari’s birthday party, an event he had mistakenly thought would be safe. He chased a napkin that had flown out of his hands into a bouncy castle, only for the wind to grow strong enough to pick up the bouncy castle and carry it a good few miles. Fortunately, none of the children had been in there with him, but it still left him with a new highly specific fear.
After that, just when he thought things couldn’t get any worse, on Friday he found himself being hunted down by what can only be described as a bee-nado. A truck carrying dozens of killer bees had crashed and for some reason, they used their newfound freedom to terrorise Nagi. Thankfully, he escaped with only three stings, but it was a considerably unpleasant experience. Probably at least in the top five worst things that have happened to him.
The cause? One Hamasaki Kaede.
It’s not that Nagi blames him, of course. Kaede could never do him any wrong. It’s just that his mere presence makes Nagi too happy to function. And lately, he’s been seeing more of him than ever because for some reason, Kaede has been stopping by Flower Laundry almost every day. He’ll greet Nagi with a warm smile, then ask if it’s alright for him to sit and work on his laptop in the back of the shop. Nagi will agree, and the two of them will co-exist in the same space for a few hours. When he’s free, Kaede will offer to help around the shop despite Nagi’s protests, and Nagi allows himself to wonder if this is what his life would be like if he and Kaede were a real family.
It’s wonderful, and it’s terrifying. The longer this keeps up, the happier Nagi is going to be. Even giving Kaede his regular flowers doesn’t seem to be enough. But honestly? It’s worth it. Nagi would suffer any disaster if it meant he got to see Kaede’s radiant smile every day.
Today is no exception. Kaede had shown up and wormed himself into Nagi’s routine yet again, and the two of them are currently on their way back from an evening delivery.
“Thank you again for coming along, Chief. You really didn’t need to.”
“I kinda did, though,” Kaede says, tilting his head. “It was a hefty order. Even you would have struggled carrying that much.”
“I appreciate your concern, but I’m used to it. I may not look it, but going through accident after accident has actually made me pretty strong,” Nagi replies, flexing his right arm with a smile.
Kaede oohs. “Really? Can I feel?”
“Um, well, that’s…” Not good. That’s not good at all. But Kaede is looking at him with such eager, innocent eyes, and Nagi is only a man. “...go ahead.”
“Thank you!” Kaede’s grin is so bright that you’d have thought he won the lottery rather than been given permission to touch his friend’s bicep. Gently, he wraps his warm hand around Nagi’s bare arm, squeezing it between his fingers and his thumb. When one finger slips beneath Nagi’s sleeve, a strange sort of garble escapes his lips. He covers his mouth with his free hand almost immediately, but Kaede didn’t seem to notice. “Woah, you weren’t lying. They’re small but pretty firm! How nice…”
“Um. Uh. Erm. Yes,” Nagi manages. Is he strong enough to singlehandedly carry five boxes of flowers? Yes. Is he strong enough to survive Kaede feeling up his muscles? No. No, he is not. “It is nice. I guess.”
“Oh, sorry!” Kaede withdraws his hand, and Nagi remembers how to breathe. “I know I can get a little carried away sometimes… Don’t worry about telling me if I make you uncomfortable.”
“No, you didn’t do anything. You could never make me uncomfortable. In fact, it was a privilege to have my pathetic excuse for a bicep touched by you. I’m sure that I’ll be blessed with good skin for the next six months. You, on the other hand, might fall ill after coming into contact with an insignificant creature like me. You should probably get yourself checked out at the hospital. In fact, let’s go there right now–”
“Okay, that’s enough!” Kaede holds out a hand in front of Nagi’s face. “None of that is true, Nagi-kun. I’m not going to die because I touched you. We touch each other all the time, don’t we? And I’m completely fine!”
Nagi freezes. “T-That’s…”
Seemingly realising what he just said, Kaede’s eyes go wide and his cheeks flush red. He’s so cute. Nagi wishes he could tattoo this image onto his eyelids so he’s graced by Kaede’s loveliness every time he closes his eyes.
“I-I didn’t mean it like that! You know, our arms brush all the time, and I gave you a pat on the shoulder the other day, and we high-fived after your hospitality live…” Kaede trails off, scratching his cheek.
Nagi is somewhat surprised to find that Kaede seems to be as conscious of each shred of contact they share as he is. It’s something he doesn’t mean to do, not really, but he can’t help it. Every brush of Kaede’s hand against his when they’re walking shoulder to shoulder, every gentle hand on his back in a show of support, every time their thighs press against each other in a cramped restaurant booth; it’s all engraved in Nagi’s mind like carvings upon stone.
“Ah.” Nagi cuts into the silence. “It’s going to rain.”
“Huh? But the forecast said–” Kaede is cut off by a raindrop landing directly on his nose. It’s followed by another, then another, and suddenly it’s raining so hard nobody would have thought it was sunny mere moments ago.
Because it had been so hot out, there hadn’t been many people on the streets to begin with. But the people who had been unfortunate enough to get caught in this downpour scatter like mice, leaving Nagi and Kaede to get drenched. Of course this would happen. Nagi is used to this happening when he’s alone, but this time Kaede is there as well. He’s dressed in only a thin white shirt and shorts, so the chances of him catching a cold because of this are high. If that ends up becoming a reality, Nagi will have no choice but to commit seppuku to atone for his sins of dragging Kaede into his misfortune. No, even that won’t be enough. He’ll have to spend all eternity of his afterlife making amends. Seriously, he shouldn’t have—
“Nagi-kun!” He’s brought out of his own head by Kaede grabbing his hand as he begins to run down the street. “Let’s go! Your shop isn’t too far from here!”
Nagi’s heart pangs in his chest. “Chief… I’m–”
“This feels great, doesn’t it?” Kaede says with a laugh, squeezing Nagi’s hand. “It’s just what we needed in this heat!”
“...yeah.” Nagi allows himself to be pulled along, unable to fight off a smile of his own. Despite the rain, Kaede’s hand is warm in his.
When they make it back, Sonia is waiting for them at the door. She doesn’t comment on their joint hands, instead offering them towels and ushering them up to the back of the store. Kaede finally lets go of Nagi’s hand to dry his hair, and Nagi finds that he misses him already.
“I’ll go make shome tea to warm you guysh up!” Sonia offers. Nagi thanks her as she leaves, throwing the small towel she gave him over his head.
“Chief, take off your clothes. I’ll dry them for you,” he says. Approximately five seconds later, however, his face burns as he realises his wording. “I-I-I mean, um, I’ll go and get you a change of clothes, and then you can. Take yours off. Not in front of me, of course. The bathroom is upstairs to your right.”
Kaede laughs, a gentle sound that Nagi could listen to for twenty-four hours straight without getting bored of it. “It’s all right, Nagi-kun. We’ve bathed together at home before. It’s a little too late to start worrying about that now, don’t you think?”
Nagi makes a strange sort of squeaking noise as Kaede lifts his shirt over his head. The see-through white shirt had already been erotic, but being exposed to Kaede’s bare, wet chest is far too much. As Kaede said, they see each other without clothes all the time at home. But there’s always at least one other person present. Right now, it’s just the two of them, all alone in the back of Nagi’s shop.
His breaking point arrives when Kaede reaches for his belt. “Um! I really think you should go upstairs, Chief,” he exclaims, cringing when his voice comes out at a higher pitch than usual. Before Kaede has a chance to respond, Nagi grabs his wrist and drags him across the shop, up the stairs and into the bathroom. He leaves him inside and shuts the door, placing a hand over his racing heart and taking a deep breath. “I’ll bring you some clothes in a second.”
“Thank you, Nagi-kun,” comes Kaede's response.
It isn’t until Nagi has gotten changed and found a loose hoodie and tracksuit bottoms for Kaede to wear that he processes that Kaede will be wearing his clothes. In his apartment. Maybe he should just lock Kaede in the bathroom until his own clothes are dry.
It takes him a few minutes to collect himself. When he stops feeling as though he could pass out at any second, he knocks on the bathroom door. “Chief, here. Pass me your clothes too, and I’ll dry them.”
“Roger that..!” The door opens just enough for Kaede’s hand to fit through, passing Nagi his wet clothes. Nagi exchanges them with his dry ones, biting down on his bottom lip to keep himself grounded. “Thanks again!”
“You’re welcome,” Nagi says before running away downstairs. He puts their wet clothes into one of his dryers, then slaps himself on both cheeks. He needs to pull himself together.
Oh, that’s right. He hasn’t given Kaede any flowers yet. That would be the perfect way to take his mind off of more… explicit things. After taking a look around the shop, he settles on a bouquet of pink curcumas. For no particular reason, Nagi hopes Kaede doesn’t check the meaning of this one on that app he installed. When he makes his way back upstairs, Kaede is waiting at the little table. It’s just a plain grey hoodie, but it looks a million times better on him than it does on Nagi.
“Chief,” Nagi greets. “Th-That looks good on you.”
“You think so?” Kaede smiles bashfully. “It smells really nice, just like you. It’s comforting.”
“U-Um…” Unsure of what to say, Nagi simply holds the bouquet out to Kaede.
Kaede’s face lights up as he accepts the flowers. “Woah, is that for me? Thank you, Nagi-kun! Hehe, it feels like all I’ve been doing today is thanking you.”
“It’s really no trouble at all. You shouldn’t have to waste all your thanks on an urchin like me,” Nagi says. “A-Actually, I was wondering… Since the rain only seems to be getting worse, do you want to stay the night? You don’t have to, of course. I know there’s nothing impressive about this place, and nobody would want to spend all night cooped up in here with me. You would sleep on the bed, though. I have a spare futon somewhere that I can use, and just so you’re comfortable I can put it on the other side of the room.”
“Nagi-kun,” Kaede interrupts gently. “It’s okay. I would love to stay!”
“Really…?”
“Yes, really. It means I get to spend more time with you!”
Oh, no. This is far too much happiness. Nagi has a feeling that whatever trouble awaits him tomorrow may beat out the bee-nado.
2.
It has been two weeks since Nagi last saw Kaede.
He, Nayuki and Daniel left for a trip overseas to visit a few European cities renowned for their hospitality. Nagi understands that this trip is important to the company, but a small part of him wishes Kaede didn’t have to go. He’s been managing his work perfectly fine, but without Kaede around there’s a gaping hole in his world. He felt the same way when he left for Christmas. Honestly, he’s forgotten what his life was like when he didn’t have Kaede.
Nagi can’t voice these feelings, of course. They don’t have a relationship in which they are special to one another, so Kaede would most likely be weirded out by his selfishness. They have been communicating via PeChat, Kaede sending photos of the scenery and Nagi replying with flowers that he thinks Kaede will like. It isn’t a perfect placeholder for their flower exchanges, but it suffices. When Kaede arrives home tomorrow, Nagi will have to prepare a ridiculously large bouquet for the first time in a while.
“Nagi-kun.”
Oh, wow. He misses Kaede so much that he’s hearing his voice. This is a new one.
“Nagi-kuuun.”
Such a sweet voice, Nagi thinks as he pulls another weed from the ground. If only it wasn’t in my imagination.
“Nagi-kun!” A hand touches his shoulder. “It’s Kaede.”
Nagi jumps out of his skin, tumbling backwards into the dirt. When he looks up, Kaede is standing there, the sun framing his face like a halo. “Ch-Chief? Huh? Am I seeing things?”
“No, I’m real,” Kaede laughs, extending his hand to Nagi. “Are you okay? Did you hit your head?”
“Yes. I mean, no, I’m fine.” Nagi wipes his hand on his pants before accepting Kaede’s help, letting himself be pulled up. “Um, how are you here? Weren’t you supposed to get back tomorrow?”
“Ah, well…” A soft blush spreads across Kaede’s cheeks. “Nayuki-kun had to come back early to deal with Raito-san, or something… so Daniel-san and I figured we’d just come back too. I, uh, haven’t been back to the dorms yet, though. I went to Flower Laundry to see you, but you weren’t there. Then Sonia told me you’d be here, so…”
Nagi blinks. “Why did you go to my store first?”
“B-Because I wanted to see you, Nagi-kun…” Kaede grows quiet, averting his gaze.
“I see…” Nagi finds himself in a similar position, his cheeks growing warm as he runs out of clever things to say. Kaede has been away from home for two weeks. And rather than returning back to HAMA House, his first instinct was to seek out Nagi. Is this real life? It can’t be. There’s no way this is happening. But Kaede’s hand is warm where it still sits in his, and he can hear the faint thumping of his own heart in his chest. “Ah. Welcome home, Chief.”
“Mm. I’m home!” Kaede grins. He then gestures to a nearby bench. “Should we go sit over there?”
Nagi agrees, and they awkwardly make their way over, sweaty hands still interlocked. Nagi isn’t quite sure why they keep doing that. But he’s too afraid to ask at the risk of losing it. The bench is a little cramped for two adult men but they sit down anyway, knees brushing against one another. Nagi asks how the trip was, kicking Kaede off on a ten-minute ramble about the highlights, which includes white-water rafting at Tara Canyon and going on a food tour of Rome.
“I’d like to go somewhere with you one day, Nagi-kun,” Kaede muses, running his thumb over Nagi’s knuckles. A swarm of butterflies make themselves at home in Nagi’s stomach. “Oh, that’s right. I have something for you.”
“You do?”
“Mhm!” Kaede drops something in his palm—it’s a bracelet, braided carefully with blue and grey string. “I met an old lady in Vienna who makes bracelets for a living, and she passed her method onto ne. I thought this would suit you.”
“You made this… for me?” Nagi utters. A wave of emotion crashes down on him, and he can feel his eyes watering. “Thank you, Chief. This is the most beautiful bracelet in the world. Nay, the entire universe. I’ll wear it every day. Actually, maybe it would be better if I got it framed and hung it on my wall. That way it wouldn’t be in any danger…”
“I’d like you to wear it, Nagi-kun.” Kaede smiles, reaching into his pocket and producing a matching bracelet. “Since I have one too!”
…what is happening? What exactly did Nagi do to be blessed with so much happiness? He’s going to run out of flowers at the store if this keeps up. But then a thought hits him. “Um… did you make these for everyone?”
Kaede’s face flushes pink. “N-No. Just one for me, and one for you.”
Oh dear. This is all too much. Screw the yajirobe being unbalanced, it’s going to explode at this rate. So Nagi reaches into his pocket, pulling out a branch of lilac and offering it to Kaede. “Here, Chief. Could you take this for now? If you come back to Flower Laundry, I’ll make a bouquet for you. I’m so happy I think I might end up using all the flowers I have available.”
“Of course! These are lilacs, right?” Kaede asks, accepting the branch with a smile.
“Yes. I just so happened to find them a while back and thought I could give them to you tomorrow. But you’re here now, so…”
“Thank you, Nagi-kun,” Kaede says, tracing his fingers along the edge of the flowers. “...I’ve been wanting to ask you something for a while now.”
Nagi’s heart stops. Could this be…? No, no. He shouldn’t be so presumptuous. “W-What?”
“Um, this might sound weird, but…” Kaede meets Nagi’s gaze shyly. “When we’re alone, could you call me by my name?”
…huh? Aside from his brazen assumption, Nagi had been expecting a question about his shop, or something to do with work, not, well, this. Not that it’s a bad thing. It’s just highly unexpected. He would guess that Kafka and Yukikaze, having known Kaede since childhood, occasionally refer to him by name. But Nagi? He’s simply a humble florist that Kaede met a year or so ago. Nobody special. And yet… he’s the first person Kaede wanted to pay a visit to after weeks away from home. He’s the one Kaede chose to match bracelets with. He’s the one being asked for such an intimate favour.
“You mean, um, Kaede-san?” Nagi finally gets out.
A visible flush creeps across Kaede’s cheeks. “Y-You can drop the honorifics, if you want. I don’t mind.”
“K-Kaede…” Nagi trails off as his head begins to spin. Kaede looks as embarrassed as Nagi feels. “...I think I’ll stick to Kaede-san.”
“That’s good as well.” Kaede smiles down at his lap, a sort of softness in his eyes that Nagi isn’t sure he’s seen before.
“But… why?” Nagi asks before he can think any better of it. “Not that I’m opposed to it, of course. It’s just, um, why me, all of a sudden?”
“J-Just because!” Kaede blurts, abruptly standing up. Looking up at him, Nagi can see how his blush runs all the way down the back of his neck. “We should probably get going now, right? You don’t want to keep Sonia waiting!”
He’s so cute, Nagi thinks. I love him.
Oh.
Oh.
Nagi has avoided putting a name to these feelings for long enough.
I’m in love with him.
3.
“Did you know that the largest flower in the world is the Rafflesia arnoldi? It’s parasitic and grows on vines and has no leaves or stems or roots and it’s often called the ‘corpse flower’ because it smells like rotting flesh to attract insects and it needs super specific conditions to live in which is why I’ve never been able to keep any at Flower Laundry but they aren’t easy to come by in the first place so even if I did find one for sale I would probably have to pay it off in a thousand installments over the rest of my life and as much as I would love to see one one day having one in the store would probably just scare customers off considering the smell and everything.
“Some unknowing soul would just assume that I’m keeping a dead body somewhere in the shop and report me to the police and I’d end up spending the rest of my life in a jail cell so I should probably ask Tao for some tips on how to handle prison and from what Kuguri-san has mentioned it doesn’t seem too bad you know maybe Kafka would recruit a new batch of prisoners for another idol group and I would make it in.”
Somebody won’t stop talking.
Oh, that’s Nagi’s own voice. Of course it is. He thinks he may have had a little too much to drink.
“If you became an idol, I’d be your number one fan!” Kaede says, resting his head on Nagi’s shoulder. Huh? When did he get beside him? Is that who he was talking to? “I bet you’d be suuuper good at it. Your singing is incredible, and you’re a lot more charismatic than you think! You’d be everyone’s oshi, mark my words! But… I kinda don’t wanna share Nagi-kun with everyone else… Hey, don’t become an idol… Stay my Nagi-kun, please!”
“Um,” Nagi says. “Okay.”
At some point while he was talking, Kaede had moved from resting just his head against Nagi to draping his whole body over him like a blanket. They’re tucked away in a booth at Yumejuuya, the rest of L4mps seated at the counter as Yodaka keeps the drinks coming. Their latest tour had been a huge success, and whilst it had taken a while to find a day where everyone is free, they arranged a drinking party to celebrate. They’ve been here for an hour, or maybe two. Nagi isn’t sure. The only thing he’s sure of is that Kaede is breathing directly into his ear, and if this keeps up, he might die. Or cream his pants. One of the two.
“Oi, are you two gonna sit over there makin’ out forever or what?” Ryui calls, gesturing to them with a cocktail in his hand that looks as though it’s only missing one or two sips.
Beside him, Toi slaps a hand over his mouth. The sound it makes leaves Nagi wondering if it hurt. “Eh? Are they? Hey, are you making out? Does that mean you’re dating?!”
“We aren’t dating,” Kaede says, finally deattaching himself from Nagi. Then he tilts his head. “...Are we dating?”
Nagi shakes his head, then immediately regrets doing so when the room begins to spin. “No. Kaede-san and I are just friends.”
The room breaks into a silence reminiscent of when one of Nagi’s jokes falls through. When things come into focus again, all five people at the bar are staring at him like he just said something strange. What’s so strange about him and Kaede being friends? Although it would be nice if they were something more…
Oh, wait. Kaede asked him to call him his name when they were alone. They are very much not alone right now.
However, Kaede doesn’t seem to be worried about that at the moment. Entirely unaware of their friends’ surprise, he rests his head in his hands and looks at Nagi with a dreamy sigh. “I really like it when you call me by my name. Do it again, Nagi-kun.”
“...Kaede-san,” Nagi mumbles.
Kaede giggles. “Nagi-kun.”
“Kaede-san.”
“Nagi-kun!”
“Kae–”
“Quit flirting!” Ryui interrupts, slamming his now empty glass down onto the counter. “Fuckin’ hell, if you’re gonna do that shit, take it outside!”
Further down the line, Netaro gasps much too loudly. “I see, so that’s flirting! Hey, Yoda, flirt with me.”
Opposite him behind the bar, Yodaka leans in close with a sultry smile. “...Netaro.”
“Yoda!”
“Netaro.”
Overpowered, Netaro clutches his chest. “Bwah! What is this power? My body feels as though it may implode!”
“Nagi-kun,” Kaede whispers, tapping him on the shoulder. “Should we? Take it outside, I mean.”
The implications of this have Nagi’s heart running the Hakone Ekiden in his chest. “S-Sure.”
Whilst the others are distracted by Netaro and Ryui yelling at each other, they slip outside into the warm summer night. Nagi breathes in the fresh air, hoping that it will help clear his foggy head. However, it appears Kaede has other plans; he loops one arm through Nagi’s, placing his other hand on his forearm and leaning into him for the second time tonight. “Hey, Nagi-kun. What flower do you have for me today?”
Nagi swallows, praying to whatever higher beings may be out there that his nerves don’t show on his face. “Um, I don’t have any with me right now. I was planning to give you some when we get home. Sorry, you can just push me into the road if you want. I won’t mind.”
“It’s okay,” Kaede says, his hair tickling Nagi’s cheek. “I can wait.”
“Um, if you want, we could walk back to my store and I could make you a bouquet there,” Nagi suggests. For some reason, he doesn’t want to go back inside, nor does he want to go home yet.
“Really? I’d love that!”
They turn their heads to face each other at the same time, Nagi’s breath catching in his throat when he realises that they’re close enough for their noses to brush. Kaede’s face is slightly flushed from the alcohol, his lips parted and eyes wide as he stares back at Nagi. Nagi wants to kiss him.
“L-Let’s go!” Kaede whips his head away before Nagi can have any more impure thoughts.
They spend the walk to Flower Laundry practically glued to each other, Kaede quietly humming what sounds like one of L4mps’ songs. At some point they pass a black cat, putting Nagi on edge. He’s been much too happy today—it would make sense for some awful accident to occur now that he’s away from most people. But they make it there in one piece, still clinging onto each other.
“Wait here,” Nagi tells Kaede, disengaging his arm from Kaede’s hold. “I won’t be long.”
True to his word, he spends no more than five minutes inside. He already had an idea of what flowers he wanted to use, so it’s easy for him to move about the shop and put together the bouquet. He gathers the freshest purple petunias and pink verbanas he has, strips any remaining foliage from their stems, then selects the largest petunia to be the focal flower. He adds the remaining flowers around it, rotating the bouquet so that the flower heads sit at different angles, then firmly ties the stems together with some floral wire before wrapping it with a white ribbon. He’s rather proud of the outcome, considering how drunk he is.
Satisfied, he makes his way outside, where Kaede is leaning against the wall. “Thanks for waiting.”
“No problem.” Kaede’s face lights up when he sees the bouquet. “Woah! It’s so pretty!”
“Only the best for you, Kaede-san,” Nagi says proudly, extending the bouquet towards him. “Here. Thank you for always accepting my happiness. I don’t know where I’d be without you.”
Kaede’s cheeks turn a lovely shade of red. “No, no, thank you, Nagi-kun! It’s been a while since you’ve given me any flowers, so I’m really happy.”
“...Me too,” Nagi murmurs. The moon is at its peak in the sky, meaning it’s probably too late for them to be wandering around. He glances over at where his motorbike is parked. “Shall we head home?”
“Yeah. We should probably call a taxi, though,” Kaede replies. “You really shouldn’t be driving.”
Nagi can’t really protest, watching as Kaede pulls his phone out. Now that he thinks about it, he has really nice hands. They’re slightly larger than Nagi’s, and smoother, less calloused. Nagi would love to hold them again. If they were romantically involved, maybe he could hold them all the time. Man, that would be a dream.
Nervously, he runs his tongue over his lips. “U-Um, Kaede-san.”
“Yes?”
“The moon… is beautiful, isn’t it?”
Kaede simply smiles, and Nagi gets the feeling he didn’t understand. “Yeah, it is!”
4.
Today is the day.
Today, Nagi is going to tell Kaede how he feels.
If he’s being honest, he had been content simply keeping his feelings to himself. Obviously it would be amazing if they could be more than friends, but that’s a line Nagi has never felt prepared to cross. But a few nights ago, the day after the drinking party, Toi and Ryui had cornered him and questioned him about his relationship with Kaede. It seems they had been awfully touchy-feely with one another—Nagi remembers leaving to make a bouquet for Kaede, but he doesn’t remember much from before that.
After a mere three minutes of interrogation, they’d gotten a confession out of Nagi. An embarrassingly short time, but a romance-minded Toi is a force to be reckoned with. Toi eagerly encouraged him to ask Kaede out, and Ryui warned him not to call Kaede by his name in front of anyone else. Another thing he doesn’t remember doing, but he took Ryui’s word for it. And so, because one cannot deny Toi’s whims when Ryui is present, Nagi agreed to confess to Kaede.
It isn’t as if he’s being forced to do it against his will. In fact, he’s glad to have an outsider’s perspective on things after months of keeping things to himself. If he had never gotten their opinions, he would have happily spent the rest of his life loving Kaede from afar. They—well, Toi seemed pretty insistent that it’s mutual, if the way Kaede had been acting was anything to go off of. So perhaps this is for the best.
He’s taking a gamble that, by some miracle, may succeed and result in the end of the world. Of course, it’s rare for his gambles to turn out well before. So, in preparation, he spent the week distributing as many flowers as he possibly could in an attempt to balance out the yajirobe. He isn’t sure how well it worked, but whatever the fallout, Nagi will just have to deal with it.
And so, Nagi is standing outside of Kaede’s room, a bouquet of nine red gerberas behind his back. He doesn’t think he’s ever been this afraid in his life. Not even that time he was chased around the beach by a cast of crabs had been this scary. And they had some pretty sharp pincers. Taking a deep breath, he raises his fist and knocks on the door.
“Come in!” Kaede responds.
With a shaky hand, he pushes the door open. Kaede is sitting on his bed, flipping through what looks like a photo album. Scattered across the bed are scissors, glue, tape, and stickers. For a second, Nagi worries that he may be getting in his way. But he’s decided to be brave today, so he stands his ground. Kaede looks up when Nagi closes the door; for some reason, his eyes go wide and he slams the album shut.
“N-Nagi-kun!” Kaede stammers, face erupting in a blush. “What’s up?”
“I should be asking you that,” Nagi says, keeping the bouquet behind his back. He nods at the album in Kaede’s hands. “What’s that?”
“Not much…” Kaede murmurs, growing uncharacteristically quiet. After a moment, he sighs softly then pats the space beside him. Nagi sits, and Kaede opens the album up again. “Here, look.”
Peering into the book, it’s filled with a variety of pressed flowers. Camellias, honeysuckles, violets, azaleas... everything Nagi’s been gifting him with ever since he joined HAMA Tours. When he looks around his room, too, there are vases full of flowers on every surface, and even a single pressed red rose on the wall above his bed. “What is this…?
“I-It’s a collection of most of the flowers you’ve given me,” Kaede replies, scratching the back of his neck. “I have so many that this is the second scrapbook.”
“...why would you keep them all?”
“I guess… it’s because seeing your happiness makes me happy, so I want to remember that feeling,” Kaede says. The curcumas, the branch of lilac, the petunias; they’re all here. Everything, including the very first bouquet Nagi gave him, is all here. As Kaede flips through the pages, Nagi’s nose starts to sting. Even though it had taken a while for him to wholly accept it, he knew that Kaede appreciates the flowers he gives him. But he didn’t realise he cherished them this much. Kaede nudges his arm, prompting Nagi to look up at him. He’s smiling. “My room is filled with your happiness, Nagi-kun.”
When Nagi opens his mouth to reply, all that comes out is a choked sob. Ah, he’s crying. How embarrassing. He came here to give Kaede some of his happiness, but instead he’s the one on the receiving end.
“Nagi-kun…” Kaede reaches up and cups Nagi’s cheek, thumbing away his tears. Nagi leans into his touch. Then, something catches his eye. “Are those flowers for me?”
“Y-Yeah,” Nagi says, finally bringing them out from behind his back. “I, um, chose these ones specifically for today. There’s actually something I’ve been wanting to tell you.”
“There is?” Kaede tilts his head curiously.
Nagi nods, laying the flowers down on the bed. He takes another deep breath before clutching Kaede’s free hand in his, lacing their fingers together. “K-Kaede-san.”
“Yes,” Kaede breathes.
“I… I lo–”
“Senseiii! You gotta help!” Nagi is interrupted by Akuta bursting into the room. However, he takes one look at them—Nagi, inches away from Kaede’s face, their intertwined hands, the flowers on the bed—and slaps a hand over his eyes. “I-I’m sorry for interrupting! I didn’t see anything, I swear! I’m out!”
“Akuta-kun!” Kaede calls, his hand slipping out of Nagi’s. So much for the perfect confession. He glances up at Nagi, his eyebrows cutely pulled together. “Sorry, Nagi-kun…”
“It’s okay,” Nagi mumbles, stepping back so Kaede can stand up. “You should go after him.”
Kaede gives him one last apologetic look before running out. “Akuta-kun, wait!”
+ 1.
Nagi spends the rest of the afternoon hidden in his room.
Of course his confession went wrong. It’s just his luck. Seeing Kaede’s flower scrapbook probably maxed out his happy-meter for the day. He did consider waiting for Kaede to come back, but a couple of people gathered in the hallway, which signalled that the moment was most definitely over. Honestly, it’s on him for choosing to confess at HAMA House in the middle of the day. He should have chosen somewhere with more privacy. That’s something to note down for next time. Because there will be a next time.
He uses his time to start planning the perfect, uninterrupted confession. A simple text to Toi asking for ideas provides him with a good starting point: a park at night, beneath the fireworks at an upcoming summer festival, on the beach as the sun is setting. He’ll have to prepare an even more extravagant bouquet this time around, something that conveys his feelings and lives up to Kaede’s beauty. Another potential location is his secret hiding spot—considering how it’s someplace that only he and Kaede know about, Nagi thinks it would be perfect.
Just when he pulls himself from his love-filled head to think about going downstairs for dinner, he receives a text from Kaede. It’s a location, along with the message, Meet me here! and a sticker from the mouse set Nagi likes to use.
…huh? What is this? Did Kaede figure out his intentions earlier and is now luring him out to a remote location to eliminate him for being so presumptuous? Okay, that might be going a little too far. Kaede would never kill anyone. But maybe his phone has been stolen by someone who would go to such lengths and they’re luring Nagi out there to murder him?
Nagi shakes his head. For once, he’s able to acknowledge how ridiculous he’s being. He needs to man up and just go. He’ll find out what it’s about when he gets there. He responds with a mouse sticker of his own before making his way downstairs, where he’s momentarily distracted from his goal by the smell of food wafting through the air. When he sticks his head into the kitchen, he finds Netaro with a plate of suspiciously coloured meat buns.
“Gii!” Netaro exclaims upon noticing him. “There you are! We thought you’d hidden yourself away forever after what happened earlier.”
Nagi freezes. “W-What do you know about what happened earlier?”
“You tried to profess your love for Doudou, but Waru interrupted! At least that’s what I heard from Renchi,” Netaro says. Nagi barely has any time to process the possibility of the entire of HAMA House being privy to this knowledge which means he could very well have a price on his head before Netaro thrusts the plate in his face. “Do you want one? I can hear your tummy rumbling!”
“What do these ones do?”
“They boost your confidence! Anything you might be too scared to say will come out easy-peasy!”
How convenient. Almost as if he’d made them specifically for Nagi. “...thank you, but I’m okay. This is something I need to do myself.”
Nagi pays no mind to Netaro’s dejected cries as he makes his way out of the house, thankfully not bumping into anyone else. As long as no one else asks about earlier, he can pretend it’s only Netaro who knows. And Renga, apparently. And Toi. And probably Ryui as well. Now that he thinks about it, maybe he should fill Yodaka in later too.
The drive to his destination is not an easy one. The shortest way there is blocked off by sudden construction that had not been going on earlier, then a cat runs into the road and he almost crashes into someone else trying to avoid it, and then his bike gives out when he’s less than five minutes away. Since he doesn’t have his tools with him, he pushes it the rest of the way, which is no easy feat under the summer sun.
By the time he arrives, he’s sure he isn’t a pretty sight. He wipes what sweat he can from his brow and takes a moment to fix his hair before he makes his way up the hill, leaving his bike parked at the bottom. It then occurs to him that this is no random location where he’s been put up for murder; it’s his secret hideout, the one he showed Kaede all those months ago. Nagi’s heart swells affectionately.
When he reaches the top, he spots someone sitting on the bench overlooking the city. He looks so peaceful that Nagi almost feels bad about disturbing him.
“...Kaede-san.”
The man in question rises when he hears his name, turning to face Nagi with a wide smile. Clutched in his hands is a bouquet of three sunflowers with limonium fillers, wrapped in brown wrapping paper with a ribbon the same colour as Nagi’s eyes. “Nagi-kun! You came.”
“Of course,” Nagi says, making his way over to Kaede. “Um… I’m sorry about earlier.”
Kaede furrows his eyebrows. “Why are you apologising? I was the one who ran away. If anything, I’m the one who should be sorry.”
“No, no. You did nothing wrong. I sprung that on you out of nowhere. Well, I didn’t really get to finish, but, um, you probably know what that is by now…” Nagi trails off, fidgeting with his hands.
“I do. Although it did take me a while to figure it out,” Kaede admits, his cheeks a rosy red. “You know how I downloaded that app on flower language? I’ve been checking what each flower you’ve given me means. When I realised there was a pattern, I thought maybe it was intentional. I wasn’t fully certain until a few nights ago. When you told me the moon is beautiful. I was pretty out of it at the time, so I didn’t realise immediately, but then I thought about it some more the day after and suddenly, everything made sense. That’s why, um, when you showed up to my room with a bouquet of nine flowers, I got really excited…”
“Excited…?”
Kaede nods bashfully. “I thought, ‘ah, it’s finally happening!’ And then Akuta-kun burst in… I cleared things up with him, by the way. He promised not to tell anyone what he saw, but I think a few others were around, so it might be pointless…”
“Netaro and Renga know, at the very least,” Nagi informs him. Renga’s room is on the same floor as Kaede’s, so he wouldn’t be surprised if he’d been on his way to his room when he heard the commotion. “It won’t be long until everyone knows…”
“W-We can deal with that when we get to it!” Kaede says, ever the optimist. “For now, um… here. These are for you. Earlier, when I came back to my room, I’d hoped that you were still there. Then I realised you’d left… But it gave me an idea. So I went to see Sonia at Flower Laundry and she helped me make this.” He steps closer to Nagi, extending the bouquet to him.
“Sunflowers,” Nagi mumbles, accepting the flowers. “They mean–”
“I only have eyes for you,” Kaede finishes, placing his hands over Nagi’s. “And giving three of them is a declaration of love.”
“So, this is…”
“Yeah,” Kaede murmurs. “I’m in love with you, Nagi-kun. I have been for a while now. No one makes me feel quite like you do. When we’re apart, all I can think about is when I get to see you next. I know it’s selfish, but sometimes I want to keep you all to myself. So… will you please go out with me?”
Nagi is going to die. He is going to die, right here, right now. And if he doesn’t, he’ll be dead by tomorrow. Or HAMA House will explode. Or the entire world will explode. Oh, dear. He’s going to start crying again. Twice in one day is awfully embarrassing. But Kaede is still in front of him, holding his hands, gazing at him as if he hung all the stars in the sky.
“Me too,” Nagi whispers, his voice trembling. “I’m in love with you too, Kaede-san. Saying it out loud is… scary, but I think I can brave anything if I’m with you. A-And of course I’ll go out with you. If you’ll have me. Being with me might bring you more misfortune than fortune, but I think you know that by now. So, um, what I’m trying to say is, uh…”
“It’s okay. You don’t have to say anything else.” Kaede moves his hands up to cup Nagi’s face, swiping his thumbs beneath his eyes similarly to how he did earlier. “I want you and all your complications. I love you, no matter what.”
“Kaede-san…” Nagi sniffles, tilting his head to the side. His heart is about to burst out of his chest. If he’s going to die, there’s one more thing he’d like to get in first. “Can… Can I kiss you?”
“Please,” Kaede breathes, so Nagi leans in and seals his lips with his.
Nagi has dreamed of this moment dozens of times, but nothing could have prepared him for the real thing. Despite him being the one who initiated the kiss, as soon as it becomes apparent he has no idea what he’s doing, Kaede takes the lead—Nagi is torn between jealousy of the other people that have gotten to experience this, and gratitude because wow, Kaede is a good kisser. Nagi wishes he could touch him, but he can’t let go of the precious bouquet in his hands. So he lets himself be kissed, lets Kaede hold him so close that it’s almost as if he’s trying to merge their bodies together.
It’s when Kaede nips at Nagi’s bottom lip that his knees finally give out, breaking the kiss as he drops to the ground like an idiot. He gasps for breath, clutching his chest as he attempts to process what just happened.
“Nagi-kun! Are you okay?” Kaede crouches down immediately. His lips are red and spit-slick, and, oh, no, Nagi thinks he might pass out. You can’t pass out after your first kiss. Pull it together.
“No,” he replies truthfully. “I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy in my life. It’s a miracle I’m still breathing.”
Kaede laughs, a gentle sound that Nagi holds dear to his heart. “Don’t worry. If you stopped, I’d make sure to breathe you back to life.”
Nagi places the flowers on his lap, bringing his arms up and draping them around Kaede’s neck. “Thank you. For loving me.”
Kaede doesn’t miss a beat, wrapping his own arms tightly around Nagi’s waist. “Loving you is the easiest thing in the world.”
(The next day, the world doesn’t explode. One of his washing machines does, though. But it’s okay. He can get through anything with Kaede by his side.)