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It was wrong.
It was so terribly wrong watching Richard lay so still. Damian was numbly standing in the doorway of the hospital room. There was a beep beep beep coming from a moniter by the bed.
The machines surrounding him made him look small, and the white sheets made his olive-y skin look pale. He barely looked alive.
His chest felt tight as Damian forced himself to breathe. Pennyworth was no doubt directly behind him, his knowing eyes absorbing each of his tells.
Ignoring the unnecessary stinging at the corners of his eyes, Damian took a shaky step forward. He slowly made his way to the side of the bed.
Richard's hand laid in front of him, and while Damian itched to grab it, he couldn't help remembering the last time he'd held it.
He'd held Richard's hand in the ambulance, speeding away from their crumpled, upsidedown car.
Except that time had been a bit different. For one, Damian had had Richard's blood on his fingers. Next, he hadn't been totally sure that Richard would live to see the hospital.
Damian had been in terrible situations and bloody battles, but somehow Damian hadn't ever been more scared than when Richard had been coughing up blood, laying in the middle of the street.
It'd happened fast.
One minute, Richard was driving him to get takeout, joking as Damian sent a small smile out the window, pretending to be upset. —Don't judge him, that was their routine.— The next minute, Damian found himself blearily blinking, hanging upsidedown from his seat.
There was the hissing sound of steam and the click click click of a blinker yet to be turned off, and Damian hardly had time to think before someone was dragging him out of the car.
It came in flashes after that, he must've hit his head.
He was being dragged a bit too harshly for it to be an EMT, and after a wild glance around, he was about to be put in a reinforced white van. And he had a zip tie wrapped 'round his wrists.
Unluckily for this guy, Damian was a master in the art of being difficult, and while he was still dizzy, Damian intended to make this kidnapping a heck of a lot harder for him.
Damian struggled. He shouted. Damian bit the hand that came to cover his mouth, and he tasted blood. The ringing in his ears did not block out the sharp cry the person let out.
Damian was thrown into the back of the van, and he hit his head again.
Somehow, the second hit to the head caused his hearing to come back full force, and he felt a headache coming on.
He could, however, hear sirens in the distance and voices through the open van door. Idiots.
"I'm not sure if he'll actually live. He needs a hospital."
"We were told to bring both of them."
"Yeah, but how's he gonna pay if he's dead?"
It took Damian's sluggish brain an embarrassing amount of time to figure out that they were discussing Richard, and then their words hit a little harder.
Richard looked like he was dying. He needed a hospital. But they didn't care.
Damian struggled against his zip tie. Curse plastic.
Fortunately, these amateur kidnappers didn't think to check the child for hidden knives. Their mistake. A stupid mistake, really.
It took only ten seconds to get free after pulling a knife free from his pant leg. After this, Damian would no doubt, never lose a 'no knives are allowed at school, Damian' argument again.
Damian burst through the van doors, immediately spotting the two men standing over Richard's prone body. He did look like he was dying. If Damian were a lesser boy, his lower lip might've started trembling.
Damian charged, knife out, as easily as breathing. It was comforting and familiar, the rhythm of combat.
The men were even worse opponents than they were kidnappers. They were slow and uncoordinated. Damian incapacitated them in less than two minutes.
Damian didn't even stab them, no matter how much he wanted to. Richard would be proud of him. That thought made his chest both puff up and seize. Richard.
Damian dashed over to where Richard was laying in front of what used to be 'Richard's Civilian Car.' A fancy-ish name for what was a glorified go-kart.
Somehow, every bit of emergency first aid information Richard had taught him flew out of Damian's brain the one instant he needed it the most.
Richard was pale, meaning he was probably bleeding somewhere. Damian crashed to his knees next to Richard's side. He knees burned as they hit the unforgiving asphalt, but he paid that no mind.
His breathing sounded labored, at least, Damian thought so? God, he was useless!
It was then that Damian's lip started trembling, and he felt tears start to gather. Richard couldn't die! That— that wasn't allowed!
Damian just sat there, hands flailing uselessly, throat tightening further with each second that passed. Richard would know what to do.
Damian grabbed Richard's shoulder, and shook him gently. Richard did not wake. Damian was about to start having labored breathing if Richard didn't wake up!
"Richard! Wake up!" A cold, hard stone of dread dropped into Damian's as he watched Richard's head simply lull to the side with each shake. Damian wasn't even ashamed of the tears streaking down his face right now.
Richard deserved better than the die without a single tear shed for him.
"Please— Wake up!" His voice cracked. Thankfully no one was around, or awake, to hear it. Damian shook him again.
"M'm sleepin'." Damian could cry in relief at hearing Richard's hoarse voice. Richard's eyes fluttered briefly, before once again falling closed.
"Don't fall asleep!" Damian cried, still grasping Richard's shoulders. He needed to understand that he couldn't just leave Damian all alone. "Richard! You must stay awake!"
Damian's next breath came easier when Richard's eyes fluttered open, unfocused, before finding Damian in front of him. The dread, however, hadn't left yet.
'Dami'n. Y' hurt?" Richard's voice was slurred. Concussion? Maybe? Damian ignored Richard's question.
Damian didn't know what he looked like, but it must've been bad enough for Richard to try reaching up to him. Damian caught his hand, and grasped it tightly. He could feel Richard's pulse. It felt like a lifeline.
"Don't speak. Be still." Damian bit out in a tone a normal person would probably be offended by. Richard, however, was not simply 'normal', and his lip quirked lazily.
The humor on his face was quickly replaced by the familiar concern that Damian had only just recently stopped hating.
In a blatant disregard for Damian's instructions, Richard began speaking again. "'It's gon' be okay, Dami." Richard maneuvered his other hand into Damian's hair, doling out comfort that had Damian instantly feeling safer.
"Shh—" Richard coughed, the sound rattling around in his chest. It was— alarming, to say the least. "'Gon' be fine."
Damian suddenly had an irrational, and honestly, childish fear that Richard would take his hand away, and so Damian held Richard's hand in its place in his hair.
The comfort and safety and reassurances felt fake.
Damian, again, childishly, wishes to be closer to Richard. He'd never met someone who made everything better. Acted as a balm to his fears and worries. Damian... Damian doesn't know what he'd do if that was taken away just as swiftly as it had been given to him.
Damian hovered his forehead over Richard's chest. He was a little afraid of accidentally hurting him. Thankfully, the sirens that were in the distance now sounded much closer.
"The ambulance is coming." Damian very badly wanted Richard to know that everything would be fine. Richard's own actions had shown him the right way to offer comfort, and after only a moment of hesitation, Damian brushed his hand through Richard's hair. Whether to console Richard or himself Damian wasn't sure, but he continued. "You're going to be okay, Richard."
From Damian's position close to Richard's chest, Damian could hear his breathing better, and if was far too shallow, and seemed to be speeding up. Damian glanced up, and Richard's eyes were closed once again. Damian scowled. Was he even trying?
"Richard!" Damian scowled down at him. His stomach felt like it was twisting into knots. "Stay awake." Richard sent him a faint smile.
At first, Damian would assume Richard was attempting to make him feel better, to stop worrying. However, he was looking up at Damian with that look. The one that always accompanied 'I love you's' and 'I'm proud of you's'.
Damian's chest tightened further as Richard started having more breathing difficulties. "What is wrong?" He asked, his voice uncharacteristically small. Richard's breaths were quick and shallow. "Richard, breathe."
Damian needed him to be okay.
"'M tryin'," Richard choked the words out, and Damian watched in horror as a trail of blood ran from the corner of his mouth to the ground.
Richard's eyebrows were furrowed and his eyes drooped once more. He was in pain.
Then, the words Damian had been dreading.
"'ove ya Dami."
He was giving up. Damian's panic descended into outright hysteria as Richard's eyes started closing, perhaps for the final time.
No, stop that, he'd live. He had to live.
"Richard, please—" Damian was not above begging at this point. "Please, please, please don't leave me alone—" His sentence broke off into a sob, and Damian felt his tears drip down onto the hand that now held Richard's limp one.
Damian gritted his teeth and looked down at Richard. Damian was an idiot. He'd finally gotten the life, the family, he'd always dreamed of. But he'd done nothing but act out and hide behind emotional walls.
Damian doesn't know what he'd do if he lost this.
It was probably too late now, but Damian had to tell him. "Baba— please—"
And that was all he could do. And now he was crying over Richard's unconscious body in the middle of the street. He whole chest shook with each sob.
Damian was so absorbed in his panic and despair that he didn't notice the arrival of an ambulance until an EMT was grabbing him by the shoulders, pulling him backwards, away from Richard.
Damian threw an elbow backwards, and the man let out a satisfying oof. Damian fought, but by now, two paramedics surrounded Richard.
Damian could do nothing but anxiously watch on as he was examined, loaded onto a stretcher.
And then... Then, Damian held Richard's hand on the way to hospital.
Then he'd sat in an uncomfortable plastic chair outside of the OR, slowly losing his mind in worry.
At some point, Pennyworth arrived, and laid a comforting hand on his back has he sat beside Damian. It wasn't Richard, though.
Damian's panic had numbed into cold, buzzing anxiety.
After... some amount of time, Pennyworth ended up dragging Damian, kicking and shouting, off to the penthouse to eat, shower, and sleep.
Which was how Damian now found himself standing by Richard's bedside, watching him breathe peacefully.
Damian stared.
He was gonna be okay. Damian wasn't going to be alone, and everything was gonna be fine.
Damian finally felt like he could breathe again, even as he throat constricted with the sudden onslaught of emotion. Damian bit his lip and furrowed his eyebrows, eyes turning shiny.
Pennyworth appeared behind him with one of the plastic chairs, and motioned for him to sit next to the head of the bed.
"I need to go confirm information with the doctors and nurses, Master Damian. If you could remain here while I'm gone, it would be most appreciated." Damian sat in the chair, and watched the butler leave the room.
Now all he had to do was wait for Richard to wake up. Hopefully that would happen soon.