Chapter Text
sleepless night ~ first written on 11/20/2024
The moon is high
The world is quiet
Save for the sounds
Of sleep.
And yet I sit here,
Fully awake,
Confused in the silence.
I usually like silence,
Prefer it, actually,
To talking and shouting
And saying words
I do not mean.
So many words in a day,
Wasted like money in the wrong hands.
I pride myself for my words,
But at the same time,
What if I talk too much?
Am I too loud?
Am I annoying?
Sometimes I do not like
Being unable to sleep.
Because then I am left
With just my thoughts,
And that can sometimes
Be a scary place to be.
Like, for instance,
A thought of mine:
They say that when you
Cannot sleep
It means
Someone else is thinking of you.
But I wonder,
Who would be thinking of me?
The unremarkable girl
Who does unremarkable things,
Who comes to school and
Says nothing,
Except to her friends,
And then leaves,
Returning to the part of her life
That no one else knows.
The part of her life
That matters most.
You see, now?
Why I do not enjoy
Being unable to sleep?
Because that thought,
The unremarkable girl,
Is saddening.
I do not want to be a
Problem,
But I do not want to
Disappear.
But I cannot imagine
Someone going home
And laying in bed
And just...
Thinking of me.
I know I am loved,
But how does one know
She is noticed
When the people who notice
Say nothing?
If only the moon
Had the answer I seek.
But no.
Here I am,
Confused,
Clueless,
And sleepless.