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Right now, staring at the ceiling and feeling utterly exposed despite being entirely alone, it was obvious.
It should've probably been obvious before, actually. At age nine, crying because the idea of wearing a dress to that gala was just too much. At twelve with blood soaking into fabric, discovering a whole new way to suffocate. At fourteen, finally having to admit that the bandages weren't a good idea anymore.
With a sigh, he unlocked his phone and clicked on the top contact.
"Hey," Kon whispered. Right. He was probably at the farm right now, which would mean that he was in a house full of people who would definitely be asleep at this hour.
"Hi, are you busy?"
"Nope," Kon replied, very obviously stifling a yawn. "What do you need?"
God, he did not deserve Conner Kent. "I..." should have probably scripted this before, supplied his brain, helpfully as ever.
"I'm like. Definitely a guy. Figured you'd want to know," and then he hung up. He resumed staring at the ceiling, content to spend the rest of the night this way, when his phone began buzzing. He glanced down at it and found that Kon was, surprising absolutely nobody, calling him back.
"What's up, Kon?" he answered as casually as he could manage.
"Oh, you know. Nothing much. I've had a very uneventful day." Kon matched his tone.
"Water any sheep recently?"
"That's not--you know what, yeah. So many sheep. You have no idea."
"That must be rough for you. Sounds difficult," he tried to sound as sympathetic as possible.
"Do you want me to start using a different name or pronouns?"
"He/him. And, uh. You know, I actually haven't picked a name."
"Cool. Gonna go to sleep now. Have to get up early. Things to do, sheep to water. You know how it is. Love you."
"Love you too, Kon. Goodnight."
•○●●○•
"The fuck do you want?" was the first thing out of Steph's mouth when she saw him. In her defense, he was presently perched on her couch, eating her chips. He shrugged.
"Figured I'd come out to you in person."
She studied him for a moment. "You already did that," she informed him. "A few years ago now."
He nodded. "Yeah, I did. This is different though."
"Different. Got it," she said with an expression and tone that heavily implied that she did not, in fact, have it.
"I'm trans."
Steph blinked, and then understanding seemed to dawn on her. "Oh, cool. Glad I didn't have to tell you. I got pretty close a few times."
And what was that supposed to mean? He raised his eyebrows. Stephanie made no move whatsoever to elaborate.
"What?"
She shrugged. "I knew. Figured I should let you work it out on your own time." "
You fucking what? How? I didn't know until like a month ago."
She gave him a pointed look. "When you were thirteen, I asked what superpower you'd want, and you said 'shapeshifting.'"
"And?"
"When we were fourteen, you asked me what name I thought you'd have if you were a guy."
He didn't say anything.
"Last year, you literally said 'sometimes I really wish I was born a boy,' and then--"
"Yeah okay, I get it," he interrupted.
"So...do you have a name yet?" Steph asked. He sighed.
•○●●○•
Dick Grayson, it seemed, was just about the busiest man on the planet. After three canceled hangouts and one mission off-planet, he was almost ready to give up on Dick altogether.
He supposed it wouldn't be that big of a deal to tell him over the phone; that was what he'd done with Kon, after all. But now that he'd told Steph in person, it had set a precedent.
Roughly a month of scheduling conflicts later, he was sitting across the table from Dick at Batburger and thinking that maybe he should've told Dick over the phone after all, because despite the fact that he was quite literally a crime-fighting vigilante who had been stabbed, shot, and kidnapped, this was proving to be the most terrifying endeavor of his life.
Logically, he knew it'd be fine. Dick hadn't had any issue when he came out as bi, hadn't cared when he started dating Steph before Kon. Dick's best friend was literally a trans guy. But he also knew that sometimes it was different with family.
Arguably, Wally was just as much family as he was, but that thought did little to slow his spiral of what-ifs. He realized abruptly that Dick was speaking.
"So, I figured that you'd probably want to know how it went."
"Yeah, for sure. How was it?" he asked, as if he knew what they were talking about.
Dick smiled brightly. "Right," he began. "So we went to this place by his apartment, it's like kinda fancy? Anyway the food was good, we talked about whatever, and I paid and we left."
He made a vague sound of acknowledgement.
"And so we went back to his place and played Mariokart--he was totally cheating, by the way--and then he kissed me. And like yeah we've kissed before but it was totally different, and I kinda panicked and said I loved him, which I do, obviously, but I didn't mean to say it, and then he laughed at me a ton and said it back. So like. That was pretty amazing."
He smiled in response, partly as reaction to the small bit of the story he'd heard and partially to maintain the facade that he had any clue who Dick was referring to.
"Anyway, point is, Wally and I are officially dating and it'd be great if you could not tell B about that if he asks."
He raised an eyebrow. Right. Okay. So. Wally and Dick. "Why can't I tell him?"
Dick looked at him like he was insane. He laughed.
"Okay. Congrats. I have questions, but I'd like to get my update out of the way first."
Dick nodded, leaning closer.
"Okay. I'm going to be honest, you're not the first person to get this information and I didn't have long dramatic speeches for the first two so I didn't prepare one for you either. I..uhm. I'm trans. I'm a guy. So. Don't kill me with hammers, I guess?"
Dick sat for a moment, staring at him, completely still. He thought for a moment that maybe he'd completely misread everything and that Dick would, in fact, genuinely want to kill him with hammers.
And then Dick stood quickly, moved to his side of the table, and hug-tackled him. When he'd finally managed to extract himself from Dick's grip,
Dick smiled at him.
He was definitely not going to cry.
•○●●○•
He heard the footsteps in the hallway and quickly rearranged himself, hoping his posture resembled that of someone who wasn’t about to bolt.
"Replacement," Jason greeted as he entered the room. He settled onto his corner of the couch and opened his book. A few minutes passed before he closed it and sighed.
"Okay, what is it?"
"What?"
Jason raised an eyebrow.
"You're staring at me."
He took a deep breath. And another. And two more for good measure. "I'm transgender."
And that seemed to surprise Jason. He blinked, then tilted his head to the side. "So you're a guy?"
He nodded, picking at the skin around his nails.
"Cool," Jason said before he added, almost as an afterthought, "That makes one of us, I guess." Which. Okay. Unanticipated response. But it wasn't a negative one, probably.
He did have many clarifying questions he wanted to ask, though.
"I...what?"
Jason shrugged and glanced down at his(?) book.
"Do you have a sticky note or something? I dont want to write on the pages."
•○●●○•
He leaned against Steph's shoulder, sighing dramatically. "This is too hard. There are too many options. I'm going to die."
Steph laughed at his misery, because Steph was a terrible person.
"I promise it isn't that deep," she said. He would happily agree with her, except that it was that deep. "
But what if I pick something stupid?" he asked.
Steph shook her head. "I'd tell you that it's stupid and then make you pick a better one."
He sighed again. She would. She definitely would.
Cass appeared then, as she sometimes did. He still wasn't sure just how she always managed to sneak up on them. She tilted her head curiously, and he wondered if it was a habit she'd picked up from Jason.
"What is wrong?" She asked, looking between them. Stephanie gestured toward him.
"He's trying to pick a new name. And over-thinking it. A lot."
Cass hummed. "Little brother?" She asked after a moment, and he nodded.
She sat beside them on the couch. "Ideas?"
He ran through the list once in his head, ordering them quickly.
"Tim, Micheal, and Nico are the main one I'm considering. If you have other suggestions though, I'm open."
She nodded and they lapsed back into silence. Occasionally, she'd look at him, eyebrows drawn together a little. When she did that, he always felt like he was being studied, deconstructed. He still wasn't sure how he felt about being so exposed.
"You like Tim best?" Cass asked suddenly. He thought for a moment before nodding slowly.
"Use that one."
He sighed. "But what if I hate it later?"
"Change it later." Cass said decidedly. She stood and walked away.
He turned to Steph.
"Guess it's Tim, then."
Steph stared at him in disbelief.
"Really? After all that, Cass comes in for five minutes and solves the problem you've been complaining to me about for months?"
"Yep," Tim replied with a smile.
•○●●○•
Tim glanced up at the knock on his door.
"Come in," he called. There was a beat of silence before the door slowly opened.
Damian stood in the door frame, looking as if he would prefer to be anywhere else.
"Drake."
"Yes?"
"I need to speak with you."
Tim raised an eyebrow and gestured for Damian to enter the room. Damian sat stiffly on the edge of the bed, and after a moment of hesitation, Tim joined him.
"So..?" Tim prompted. Damian shifted slightly, still looking deeply uncomfortable. He did not look at Tim as he spoke.
"I require advice." Tim nodded. "What about?" Damian took a deep breath. "You are...transgender, correct?"
There were very few universes in which Tim would have ever anticipated that to be the question to come out of Damian's mouth at that moment. This was not one of those universes.
"I am," he said slowly. "Is there an issue with that?"
Damian did look at him then, shaking his head vehemently. "No, that isn't an issue," he began quickly. "I just-"
Tim's eyebrow, which had returned to its usual position on his face, once again rose. Damian sighed.
"I just wanted to know if you'd be comfortable with me asking you a few questions regarding the matter."
Tim blinked. Thought for a moment. Decided that if Damian was going to be transphobic or something, he had had ample time by now. He nodded.
"I've read that some people experience negative emotions or thoughts relating to their assigned sex. Do you experience that?"
"I do," he confirmed.
"What is it like for you?"
Tim had to think about that for a moment. "Well...it depends. Sometimes it's just a general, like, wrongness? But sometimes it's specific thoughts, usually about my appearance being too feminine."
"How did you know that these things meant that you were transgender?"
Tim made a sound somewhere between a laugh and a sigh. "Trial and error? Mostly just the realization that I was more comfortable thinking of myself as a guy."
Damian was watching him intently, brow slightly furrowed. He seemed less uncomfortable than before, but it was clear he was considering something. There was something very familiar about the whole exchange so far.
"Dami?"
"Yes?" Damian didn't even call him out on the nickname, which was a little concerning.
"Why are you asking?" Tim was a little surprised at how softly his own voice came out. Damian didn't reply at first.
Instead, very slowly, he adjusted his position until he was lying down, head on Tim's leg. He pulled his own legs toward his chest and exhaled loudly. Tim froze for a second. He was pretty sure this was the first time Damian had ever initiated non-violence related contact with him. He made a conscious effort to relax, almost missing Damian's quiet response.
"I--I am considering things. That is all."
Tim smiled slightly. "Okay," he said. "You can consider. You can talk to me about it if you want. I don't mind."
Damian's next words were whispered. "What if I do not like the conclusion I reach?"
"Will you like it less than not having a conclusion?"
Damian shook his head. "No. I don't think so."
"Then it'll be worth it."