Chapter Text
It felt like it had been forever.
No.
It felt like it happened all too recently.
Did it, though?
Ze hadn't been the same since the Hole. He could still hear the Eyes mechanical laughter in the back of his head. How It's amused glare never left even as he supposedly escaped from It's grasp. Atleast that's what he wants to believe. Or was that just what the Eyes wanted him to believe?
Ze didn't know anymore. He laid curled into a ball on his disheveled bed, wings wrapped tightly around his body in a futile attempt to shield himself from the world. He didn't want to move, he didn't want to leave his room. Ever since he left the Hole - no, even before then - his desperation had long since turned into despair.
How do I know this time it's real?
You don't.
The voice that had appeared in Ze's mind ages ago replied to him, as he had grown used to by now.
You'll never know if this is real. You'll never know if what your "friends" say is the truth. You'll never be free from It ever again. You'll never -
The heavy weight of Ze's own uncontrollable thoughts was broken with a knock at his bedroom door. "Honk? Honk honk!" Moe, of course it was Moe. Or was it the fake?
"What do you want Moe? I thought I told you guys to leave me alone." Ze groaned, speaking at a normal volume seeming to hurt his throat from the disuse.
It took a second for Moe to reply, the clown likely trying to come up with a good enough excuse for Ze to come out of his room. "Honk... Honkhonk honk, honk, honkhonk honk honk!" Moe honked in quick succession, Ze only partially catching what she was talking about. Something about coming downstairs to try something new she baked? He wasn't sure. He also didn't want to leave his bed, but seeing how insistent Moe seemed to be? He couldn't really say no, especially not with how much his stomach was growling. So, reluctantly, he released himself from the hold of his wings and slid out of bed.
It all turned to white, his head throbbing.
He had stood up too fast. That's what he gets, though. He hadn't been taking care of his body, and he didn't deserve to. After all, what's the point if it turns out none of it was even real?
"Fine, Moe. I'm coming. Don't worry." Ze mumbled, waiting for his vision to clear before cracking the door open. Seeing the determination in Moe's eyes, he knew there was no way out of this now.
Eyes. Is that all you can think about? Are you still searching for It in someones gaze? It's like you want to be in the Hole again. Pathetic.
Ze shakes the thoughts out of his head, trying to flood his mind with other thoughts. Food downstairs. What type of food? Baked goods. What kind? Find out.
Ze mentally cursed himself when they had reached the lower floor. He forgot to think Regect could still be in the house. He thought that the entity would've gone off to some random ass adventure by now, something something carrots or whatever, he didn't know.
But he certainly wasn't expecting to see the guy just lazing on the couch, eye immediately jumping to Ze's presence before becoming aware of itself and going back to focusing a bit too intensely on the television infront of him.
He's just trying not to laugh at how disgusting you look. You look like you live in the fucking woods, of course it'd look at that.
The voice wasn't entirely wrong this time. Ze did look like a fucking mess. His wings weren't preened, his hair hadn't been brushed in weeks, he couldn't remember when the last time he brushed his teeth was. It was just too much effort for someone like him. Ze couldn't bring himself to care for his body even if he tried.
–-–-–-–-–-–
"These are really good, Moe." Ze commented through bites of the biscotti Moe had made.
"Honk honk honk!" Moe grinned from ear to ear, happy to see they made something that got Ze to eat.
Of course that serenity couldn't last the entire time.
"Yo! That looks SO good Moe can I try some??" Regect doesn't wait for a reply before taking an entire biscuit and having it disappear as he shoved it in his mouth. Completely dry.
"AOfgh..CU EFh...euAGH" It immediately started to cough and choke, not expecting to be hit with a rock in pastry form from the supposedly "really good" biscuits Moe made.
Regect eventually was able to hack it up like a furball, glaring daggers at the rest of the biscotti on the table with his one eye like the biscuit itself had offended his entire bloodline.
"Dude... have you never eaten biscotti before or something? That was just sad."
"Wuh- NO I HAVE! Biscotti is my favorite pastry actually! I just... forgot."
"...You forgot?"
"...Yeah."
...
"Are you sure?"
"SHUT UP."
"OKAY, okay. Yeesh..."
The air quickly turned stale. The moment ruined, and therefore Ze had been taken away from his distraction of his thoughts.
It hates you. He wishes you stayed in the Hole. You're probably still in there, the real Regect would hate you more than this.
Ze speed walked back to his bedroom wordlessly, locking his door shut behind him.
./ ./ ./ ./ ./ ./ ./ ./ ./ ./
"Was it something I said?" Regect thought worriedly, it had thought he had done a good attempt at trying to cheer up Ze with the whole biscotti thing, but it looks like he was wrong.
Ze hadn't been the same since he came back from the Hole. Regect couldn't blame him. It knew what the Eyes were capable of, he just never thought that It'd...
He shook itself out of it.
No.
There was no way he could've told Ze without scaring him away or having him blame it all on Regect.
All he could do now is try it's best to get Ze back to normal... whatever "normal" really was.
Ever since Ze came back... It wasn't right. He was used to Ze having his moments, sure, but this was more than that - his eyes, they just weren't the same anymore.
They didn't hold the same amused expression like they used to when they fought back and forth with eachother on something small. They didn't glare at him with an attempt at intimidation when Regect threatened to do something that would surely get the group into more trouble, or more work.
They didn't... hold anything. Even when he was complimenting Moe's cooking, or insulting Regect's choices, even when he hurriedly looked away from Regect after coming down the stairs.
It was just.. blank.
Far away.
Detached.
Out with the Void.
It was concerning. It was more than worrying. Regect didn't know what to do, especially when he looked at him like... that.
Like he wasn't Regect. Like it was a fraud, a fake, a monster- okay well that last one might be true to some extent, but you get my point! This wasn't like Ze. It was like he was a shadow of his former self. A ghost.
Regect couldn't let this happen and just idly sit back, no, he had to fix it. Somehow, someway - it couldn't leave Ze like this. He couldn't -
He couldn't wait. No, never again.
Regect would never wait around again.
But.
What could it even say? Or do? He wasn't some therapist that was good at this shit. It was just an Entity. A failed entity, he reminded himself.
If only Regect knew what Ze was doing up in his room.
Maybe then he would've done something.