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‘Yeongeun-ah, what’s better than a strawberry?’
This was the question posed to Go Yeongeun, newly five years old, as she and her father drifted along the grocery store aisles.
Nestled in her strawberry pullover, her feet snug inside her strawberry boots, she was in no state to even begin pondering the answer to this riddle.
What could possibly be better than a strawberry?
She swung her legs, kicking her father’s stomach at regular intervals. Although her seat was uncomfortable, and the cart ride was bumpy, and her father had spent at least half an hour searching for her mother’s preferred brand of canned tomatoes, the thing that bothered her the most in that moment was the existence of this nebulous better-than-a-strawberry object.
“Is it… Mama?” She couldn’t help but ask her father, the question-giver. Her little mind spun with the concept of pitting two of her most favourite things in the entire world against each other.
‘Mama… or strawberries…?’
What a tough decision! Every fibre of her being rejected the comparison.
Her father looked upon her with soft eyes, crinkled at the corners like they always were.
“No, it’s not Mama. Or Papa!” He chuckled at her when her mouth automatically opened to guess again. “Wait and see!”
She pouted, crossing her arms and curling into herself. She kicked out with all her strength, but missed her father by a scarce few inches. He hadn’t even intentionally dodged—it seemed that he’d just found the correct can.
Go Yeongeun, now no longer newly five years old and nowhere near as excited as she was about it when she woke up that morning, heaved a put-upon sigh.
Of course, her sullen mood only lasted until her father snuck a rabbit plushie into her lap; it was soft, like the fur of her neighbour’s newborn kittens, and its eyes were large, imploring in their bulbousness. Go Yeongeun found her reflection in them and stuck out her tongue, giggling when the little-her in the rabbit’s eyes returned the gesture.
She tucked it against her for the rest of the ride, all the way until the checkout counter, where it was painstakingly taken from her to be scanned, then to the bus—she held it in her arms all the way home, where it was promptly, lovingly, placed next to her strawberry boots and forgotten about.
Go Yeogeun heard her father call out to her as she barrelled straight into her mother’s hip, wrapping her tiny arms as far around her mother as she could; the laughter she could feel shaking her mother’s body made it hard to do so.
An arm snagged her by the waist and lifted her until she was eye-to-eye with her mother, who watched her with a familiar gooey gaze. The warmth of the kitchen and beige light from the induction fan gave her mother’s eyes a molten quality.
“Hey, my pretty daughter.”
Go Yeongeun could hear the strain in her father’s voice as he said, “Our pretty daughter’s growing so well.”
He placed her down with great care, and then groaned as he tossed a number of plastic bags onto the counter next to him.
When her parents made an attempt to drift towards one another, lips puckered, Go Yeongeun stuck her body between them, turning her back to her father and peering up at her mother expectantly. Her mother brushed her unruly bangs out of her eyes with deft fingers, then bent down to reach her level once again.
“Did you enjoy today? Did Papa behave himself?” She tucked a few strands behind Go Yeongeun’s ear, tugging at the lobe until she giggled. They both ignored her father’s sputtering.
“Hmmm…” She thought about the bus ride, and the stiff seat of the shopping cart, and her father’s painful attempts to find half the items on the short list her mother had given him.
“Yeah… Papa was okay.”
Her father cheered.
“Just okay?” Her mother huffed as she rose to her feet.
“Mm.” Go Yeongeun nodded. She tugged at her mother’s pants until she glanced back down, then stuck an open hand in her face. She deliberately kept her fingers extended for as long as she could. “I’m five. Did you know that?”
“Yes, baby.”
Go Yeongeun accepted the subsequent head pat with a content smile, then spent the sparse few hours before dinner running around the apartment. Her little feet made equally-little explosions of sound as she bounced around the familiar walls. She even collided with her father at one point, giggling at the way he groaned from the impact, and ran off to her room before he could grab and inflict one of his ‘tickle attacks’ upon her.
The fifth time she returned to the living room, her parents were standing by the sofa, passing a large object back and forth with increasing urgency. As she skidded to a stop before them, it was clear that the thing they were both holding was a box, wrapped in the prettiest green paper she’d ever seen.
She slunk closer, gaping at it where it hovered above her head.
“Present?” She squeaked, glancing between her parents before resting her eyes upon the box once again.
“After dinner,” her parents chorused, sending each other fond looks.
The present was brought to the table with them and sat on the table across from Go Yeongeun, an incentive to finish her entire meal. Yes, even the zucchini. She shrunk under her mother’s admonishing look after she swallowed too quickly and spent several minutes coughing up the food she’d barely chewed.
“Yeongeunie,” her father began after she’d cleared her plate, “would you like to take a guess about what I asked you earlier?”
“Hm? What were you saying to our poor girl?” Her mother took a sip of her water to punctuate her question.
“It’s nothing!” Her father, in the middle of collecting their used plates, waved one around. “She was asking about tonight, that's all. I wanted her to be excited about it.”
“I think she’s plenty excited already, honey…”
Go Yeongeun, having spent the last few hours running around her family’s apartment in a state of complete and utter elation, had admittedly forgotten about their brief conversation.
“Uuummm…” She clenched her fists, sorely missing her new friend. “...Easter bunny…”
Her father’s voice drifted over from the kitchen, “Nope!”
“Honey!”
Go Yeongeun’s lip wobbled, but she glared to keep her eyes from watering. She stuck her tongue into the gap of her teeth, worrying at her gums until her mother frowned at her in disapproval.
…This question seemed important.
Really, what could be better… than a strawberry…?
Her father appeared in the doorway like an apparition; in his hands, a cake adorned with a giant ‘5’ candle.
“A strawberry cake, of course!” His grin was wide, but strained. He seemed to look over at her mother and shrink into himself, just like Go Yeongeun had done earlier. She laughed at the image it brought to mind—of her father in pigtails, eating his food too quickly—and then laughed again when she registered what he’d said.
A strawberry cake!
Since it was just the three of them in their happy little family, Go Yeongeun knew she could save a slice or two for her best friends at pre-school—maybe, if the ‘cake monster’ didn’t appear at midnight and finish it off before then, like it had last year.
She blew out the candle, wishing for there to be enough cake to last a lifetime, and then accepted the butter knife her mother offered her to make a clumsy cut into its gorgeous flesh. Her father took it from there, divvying up slices and giving the biggest to her mother, who pressed a kiss to his cheekbone and a smear of cream to his nose. She did the same to Go Yeongeun, then lifted a spoonful of cake to her mouth with an expectant smile.
It was as sweet and creamy as it looked. Not that Go Yeongeun had much of a reference for complex food palates, but she was certain she would never taste something so delicious again. She devoured one slice, then gazed upon the rest mournfully when she realised she had no room to continue eating.
Her mother packed the rest away in short order, tapping her father on the back of the head with the container when he made a grab for it.
He whined in distress. Go Yeongeun could relate.
That is, until her eyes caught on the beautiful green box again, and her mood instantly repaired itself.
“Present!” She pointed at it, then made grabbing motions like she could somehow pull it toward her with her willpower alone. “Please!”
Her father slid it over to her with an indulgent smile, resting his chin on his hand to watch her. She heaved it above her head to stare at it some more.
“Woah, careful!” Her father carefully grasped it and set it back down on the table. “Wait for Mama, okay? She chose it for you.”
Go Yeongeun pouted but complied, fiddling with the tape on one of the seams.
Her mother slid back into her seat, copying her father’s pose as she said, “Go on, baby!”
Go Yeongeun needed no further instructions. She made an effort to tear the paper as neatly as possible, as she’d learnt on her last birthday. It took infinitely longer—her tiny fingers struggled to pick at the tape enough to tear it off—but it felt more satisfying to witness it all come apart.
The image on the box made little sense to her when she finally saw it. She lifted it above her head again to get a closer look, and recognition hit her when she noticed the cross.
“Doctor…” She squinted up at the bubbly lettering. “Fffirst… ay…d Kit!”
“That’s right!” Her mother clapped. “You said you wanted to be a doctor, right?”
Go Yeongeun nodded, although her aspirations had long since shifted to becoming a baker.
Doctors…
“Could be fun.” She shrugged, already tearing into the box to see what the full set had to offer.
She pulled out a wooden syringe and immediately set out to stick it into her father’s arm.
“Ouch!” He yelped, teetering away from her while clutching at his shoulder. “That hurt!”
“Shouldn’t you be telling her that it doesn’t hurt…? Honey…”
“...Sorry.” Her father sat upright again. “One more time!”
But Go Yeongeun had already moved onto throwing herself in her mother’s lap and capturing her in a tight hug.
“I love you…” She murmured into her mother’s collar. She attempted to jump off to do the same to her father, but he was already wrapping his arms around the both of them.
There, in the cradle of her parent’s warm bodies, Go Yeongeun felt truly safe.