Chapter Text
--- LOOP XXX ---
…You’re at the King. Again. The loops are starting to blend together now, though you aren’t sure that they weren’t already. You lost count hundreds of loops ago anyways.
But it doesn’t matter, because there’s still nothing you can do to beat the King. You still aren’t strong enough, your friends party still aren’t strong enough, but there’s nothing to do except keep on trying.
Stars how were you ever so naïve to think that you could just go in and beat the King. It took you so many loops to even reach him, and even hundreds more later you still haven’t beaten him.
Oh, you stopped paying attention to the fight there. The King’s won already. Oh well. It’s not like you could do it this loop anyways, but part of you just wishes you knew how long it would take to beat him.
Maybe by that point you’ll have figured out how to loop on your own, and you could spend a good hundred loops just tearing him apart. Stars know he deserves it for what he’s done to her…
Her? Her name, the- the Housemaiden, the one immune to the curse, the one that the King always… you… don’t remember her name?
You… don’t remember her name. You guess there isn’t any reason for you to know her name right now. It never comes up in the script, and it’s not like you’ll be getting away from the script anytime soon.
Right, the King was finishing the job, just now. If you’re this out of it, then you hope you’ll die in tears and time this loop. You could probably use the rest.
And right on cue, as always, you hear him shout your name. He… the Fighter… you can’t remember his name either? What about her, the Researcher, she was… hm. Well, just to be thorough, what about them, the Kid, do you remember their name?
…It would appear that you do not.
Whatever. You don’t need to know any of their names. They aren’t in the script. You need to remember the important parts of the script, anyways. You don’t need to know the actor’s names.
Oh, it almost took you off guard this loop, since you were so out of it, but you start paying attention again just in time for the end. Seconds can feel so long at the end.
The King strikes.
--- LOOP XXX ---
And you open your eyes to the third floor again. Like nothing happened in the first place.
Just like always.
…You wish you knew when it would be your turn to win, for once.
And you think you should pay more attention during this loop.
Though it’s not like it will matter in the end anyways.
Back to the stage, Siffrin.
--- LOOP XXXX ---
The loops are starting to blend together again. Or maybe for the first time? It’s not like you remember. You think you’ve reached the King again, but it’s hard to tell when you’re not paying any attention.
It’s not like it will make any difference this loop. The Housemaiden, the Fighter, the Researcher, the Kid, they still aren’t strong enough, and you don’t know how to make them strong enough in a single loop.
Whatever, you’ll figure out a way eventually. You have eternity to do so, after all.
How many times has it even been? You passed the hundredth loop forever ago, but that first hundred still felt like forever on their own. At least, you assume they did. Do you even remember anything that happened on the first loop? Or anything from the hundredth?
You might’ve even passed a thousand and you would have no idea. Do you even remember the first time you made it to the first floor? You assume that would’ve happened before you hit one hundred loops but you don’t remember enough to say that it didn’t take more than a hundred to get here.
Stars, you…
Stars…
…How long has it been since you’ve been able to see the stars? How long has it been since you forgot everything there is to know about the first and second floors? How long has it been since you forgot Dormont?
You…
…It won’t do you any good to think about it.
It probably hasn’t helped before. You can’t remember if it has, so you’ll assume it didn’t.
Besides, you have an eternity to remember. Maybe it’ll come back at some point.
You still wish that you knew how to beat the King.
But it’s okay.
Because you have eternity to figure it out.
The Fighter screams your name, like always.
You guess that means the King has won again.
Nothing to do except wait for the end, and as you resolve yourself to your fate…
The King strikes.
--- LOOP XXXX ---
And you see the third floor again.
You wonder if maybe you should stop thinking.
But if you don’t pay attention, you’ll only be repeating things you’ve already done.
You know you won’t beat the King like that.
So you have to pay attention.
Stars, when will you learn.
…Back to the stage, Siffrin.
--- LOOP XXXX ---
You’ve forgotten where everything is on the third floor again.
You’ll figure it out again in time. You always do.
…You could use this loop to act normally for your friends party. You’ve been putting on an act every loop, but they always think something is up. No better time than now, you suppose.
You’ll have to know how to act like Siffrin when you get out of here anyways.
You guess a good place to start is just by checking everything again. You do need to find everything again anyways, so you might as well.
You don’t try to hear these lines very often anyways. It won’t be new, but it will at least feel new.
Maybe.
You look at everything, you look everywhere, you find every key and every crest, and you burn the King’s hair with the unfrozen torch.
The Fighter stops you on the way to the King. Says that he’s glad you’re feeling better. Says that you were acting weird earlier. Says that you haven’t been acting weird on this floor.
…You can’t change the script now. You don’t even have any reason to go anywhere other than this floor.
…If it mattered that you were acting weird, it would’ve been brought up at some point before now.
Maybe it was, and you just can’t remember it.
Maybe it was, and the conversation happened before the start of the loop.
Oh well. Nothing to do now except fight the King again.
…You guess you’ll let the speech happen this time. How long has it been since you’ve heard it, anyways?
As your friends party goes through their lines, the King uses his special attack.
And grabs the Housemaiden.
And slams. And slams. And slams. And slams. And slams. And slams.
You acted normally, didn’t you? Everything as if it was the first time?
…Everything as close to the first time as you remember.
…Everything as close to a memory that you can’t remember at all.
Maybe this is how the fight went the first time.
You can’t remember, after all.
You can never remember anything.
Not where anything is.
Not what you need to get to the King.
…Not even their names.
You notice the Housemaiden has not been breathing.
…You hope you loop back soon.
--- LOOP XXXX ---
You wake up again. Because you can never rest.
Because you don’t deserve rest.
Because you forget everything.
Because there is nothing you deserve to remember.
…Back to the stage…
…You have a script to forget.
--- LOOP XXXX ---
You don’t remember how many loops you’ve gone through since you tried acting normal for the party.
It’s not like it matters, in the end. You always meet the King, and the loop reaches its conclusion.
There’s no time for them to question anything. And you would have it no other way.
Otherwise, you would have to confront the fact that ‘Siffrin’ doesn’t exist anymore. Only you.
You guess that’s another thing you don’t deserve. Existence. But it’s been given to you, so there’s nothing you can do but use it.
How long has it been since there’s been something you do deserve? Months? Years? Decades? Did you even exist before you started looping?
Well, there’s no use dwelling on something like that right now anyways.
Especially since you’ve decided there’s no need for proper acting this loop.
If it doesn’t work out, you’ll just loop back anyways.
You have nothing else to be doing, after all.
Just grab the keys. Grab the crests. You know where you need them, these distractions in the script lead nowhere. They accomplish nothing for you.
You just attack the sadnesses. They stopped being a threat to you a long time ago. But there’s nothing else to make the party stronger, nothing else to tip the scales in your favor except eternity.
You ignore your cues. The script doesn’t matter this loop, it never brings you to success, and it never gives you any chance of winning.
You stop paying attention to your party entirely. They can’t prevent the end, they never can, nothing they can accomplish can ever save you from the end.
…It’s not their fault…
Whatever.
You grab the unfrozen torch. There’s no use in wasting any time this loop. If this leads nowhere, it leads nowhere, and you can try something else.
Well, nothing else to do this loop, you suppose. Just long enough for the play to end and the curtains to close.
Just before you reach the last room, the Kid stops you for some reason. (has this ever happened before?)
You… don’t remember these lines. The Kid gives you candy? It doesn’t look familiar at all…
Right, eating is a thing that people do. It… tastes like cantaloupe.
You… when is the last time you’ve eaten something? Have you seen this before and just forgotten it like everything else?
You… keep moving forward. Something different is something different, and you aren’t about to waste an entire loop getting back to this point just because nothing changed about the end.
…The Housemaiden and Fighter are whispering to each other in the last room…
That… doesn’t seem familiar at all. They walk over to you, and the Fighter asks you a question.
You don’t have a script for this. Even when you’re trying your best to ignore it, there is still comfort in familiarity. You don’t know where this is going.
…
They… want to know what’s wrong. All of them. They’re saying they care about you. You don’t remember these lines in the script.
They want to help you
THEY NEVER CAN
They’re saying they care about you
THEY NEVER BRING IT UP
They say they love you
IT NEVER MATTERS IN THE END
…They keep pushing when you tell them it’s fine.
That usually works, but… if the point is to ignore the script for one loop…
The Researcher is talking to you. She asks you to tell them one thing. It doesn’t have to be The Thing.
...
You’re tired, but even ignoring the script you’ll never admit that. Not to them.
…You think about the candy. It’s been… forever. Since you’ve eaten anything. The alcohol doesn’t fill the same as actual food.
Now that you’ve had something, anything… you can feel the difference.
You’re hungry.
The Kid offers you some snacks. You eat one.
You’ve been here for so long. Years, you’re sure. Even when you don’t know how many loops it’s been.
…The party decides to rest here for a moment. You don’t want this moment to end. Not knowing what comes next.
You feel a new memory. A Memory of Food. It's been so long since you ate something.
...You try to distract yourself.
You speak to the Fighter. He offers to hold your hand, he comforts you. You laugh at his sweaty hands. It’s been forever since you laughed.
...
You speak to the Housemaiden. She tells you how you acted early on after joining the party your friends, she says they want you to be safe. You promise to talk. It’s been forever since you had an actual talk.
...
You speak to the Kid. They’re sad that they didn’t realize you weren’t okay, they offer you a massive amount of snacks. You give them a thumbs up. It’s been forever since you tried to comfort somebody outside of the script.
...
You speak to the Researcher. She tells you to give her another thing that’s bothering you, she insists that it’s going to be okay. You say something a bit more honest. It’s been forever since you talked about your own problems.
...
As you approach the King, you think about your friends…
They care so much about you, they love you, they want to help you…
…Have you ever given them the chance to in the script?
…You skip the speeches. The lines are the same. But you feel your friends’ love for you anyways. Could this really be it?
The start of the fight goes well. It always does, when you weren’t acting perfectly. But your friends seem more determined than usual.
Your friends…
The Fighter…
The Housemaiden…
The Researcher…
The Kid…
You… you know them. You’ve fought by their side thousands of times. You’ve died by their side thousands of times.
But you don’t remember their names.
Did you refuse to remember?
Did it hurt too much?
They care about you so much. They love you so much. They help you so much.
And you couldn’t even be
bothered to remember them
…The fight continues. You attack, you get hit, you get healed, the fight moves on.
And Tears appear to help the King.
The Kid starts yelling at the King. Angry, furious about something.
The Fighter… it was… something to do with beauty?
The Researcher… something old sounding?
The Housemaiden… you think it was something fruity?
The Kid… you know it was a nickname…
…You know that much, surely you know their actual names, don’t you?
You’ve spent how many years writing this script and they never came up?
All this time and it takes them realizing something is wrong for you to figure out how terrible of a friend you are.
If you weren’t a bad friend, you would’ve included their names in the script.
You wouldn’t have started referring to them using titles.
You would’ve been able to remember their names without a blinding script, for star’s sake.
…The fight continues. The Tears get taken out. Your friends attack the King. Your friends get hit. Your friends get healed.
The King prepares a powerful attack.
The unfrozen torch that you need to reach the King? That’s important.
All the keys scattered across the floor? Soooo important.
The names of your friends who have cared for you and loved you and helped you in this eternity that only you know about?
Not in the script.
Not worth remembering.
You forgot them because they weren’t in your perfect script that led to nothing but the end of your story.
You forgot them because you couldn’t bear the thought of remembering every little part of the script, so you tried to make room for what was in the script.
And then you forgot the script ANYWAYS.
They’re your friends! They trusted you to lead them into hell! So you did, over and over and over and over!
AND YOU COULDN’T EVEN BEAR TO REMEMBER THEIR NAMES!
The King’s strike knocks you out of your head as the fight continues. You get healed again. You strike back again. Your friends strike the King again.
You’re so tired
Why hasn’t the King just ended it yet? You don’t… you haven’t stopped… you don’t want to go through this all over again.
Not after this loop.
He’s just going to end it again. You know this.
You don’t want to fight anymore.
You don’t want to hope anymore.
The King speaks, and prepares his final attack.
He won’t miss. He never does.
You just want to rest.
You close your eyes...
The Housemaiden screams.
...
Isabeau protects you from the King’s attack.
…Isabeau!
Odile backs you up and says to keep the fight going.
Odile…!
Bonnie hands you a sour tonic and gets you back up.
Bonnie…
Mirabelle screams to you and powers you up.
Mirabelle!
This... this is it! This is your chance!
You've finally made it past the King's strike, you've found something new!
You can finally escape this hell, you just have to take him down now!
You move as fast as your body allows and take the chance to finally strike the King one last time.
...
It’s enough.
The King disappears.
You’ve finally done it.
You’ve finally won.
The King is gone.
Your friends all crowd around you.
Isa, Bonnie, Odile, Mira…
You’ve finally won.
You can finally rest.
Everybody can go back home.
There’s nothing to worry about anymore.
And then you feel the tug on your heart.
--- LOOP XXXX ---
You wake up on your back in a meadow.
Mirabelle comes into the meadow and tells you that you all had better get sleep while you can.
Since tomorrow, you will fight against the King.
You can’t remember how long it’s been since you woke up in this meadow.
But it clearly hasn’t been long enough.
You run to the Favor Tree.
You pass by Isabeau. You don’t remember the town’s script.
You tell him to go away. You don’t want him to have to see you like this.
You don't remember what you wished for originally.
You don't even remember if it was granted.
But you still remember how to make a wish.
It’s funny. You know you can beat the King now. You should be able to keep going.
You should be able to find something to learn more.
And you remember their names, now. You know they care. You know they would help you.
You should be able to ask them for help.
But instead, you’ve decided to burn all of your bridges.
You’re such a terrible friend.
You take a leaf from the Favor Tree.
You shout and you scream into it to get you out of here. For somebody, anybody to help you.
You don’t know when you started crying.
And you see a star floating down towards you.
It lands in your hands.
It’s warmer than anything you remember.
You bite down.
--- LOOP 0 ---
You can’t feel your body. You can still see yourself, somehow. You know that others can’t, for some reason.
You don’t know how, but you know it will come back next loop.
You’re just an observer right now. So, you observe.
You see your hands, lightless with darkless star patterns on them.
You see light that doesn't exist yet hitting the underside of the Favor Tree, like there’s a small star beneath it.
You look down at your body and see a star on your chest. Your cloak isn’t here.
You look over and see Isabeau The Fighter standing beside the path to the Favor Tree.
It’s not Isabeau. You don’t know how, but you can tell. It isn’t him.
And then you see Siffrin walk up to him.
They talk to the Fighter. They make a pun.
They go through all the motions.
Siffrin walks up to the Favor Tree.
They think of a wish
They pick a leaf
They whisper their wish into it
They fold the leaf up
They let it go
And they walk away.
You will not cry
All that you will do
is laugh