Chapter Text
--- LOOP 3674 ---
You open your eyes to the sky.
Both eyes, but you’re still blind on the left. Guess you still have the star body.
You feel the grass on your back.
Just like the start of a Dormont loop, but you haven’t been in your loops for quite some time now.
You barely ever woke up in Dormont after the loops started, anyways.
You were helping out Stardust, helping them get through their loops, but if you’re back in this meadow now then does that mean…
You hear Mira walking down into the meadow. It’s her. It’s not the Housemaiden. It’s not any other version of Mirabelle. It’s her.
She calls out for the person you once were. “Siffrin!”
You suddenly remember that you still have the star body. You don’t look like Siffrin anymore.
Maybe there isn’t any getting out of talking about your problems, then.
Stars know you would probably waste a good few loops before you worked up the courage to talk about any of this if you had the choice.
Maybe that’s why the Universe didn’t give you the choice in the first place.
There’s no point in questioning how the Universe works, you suppose.
Even if you don’t want to, you have nowhere else to go but wherever it leads you, and right now it’s leading you to talk to your friends for once.
You sit up and turn towards where Mirabelle is coming from.
Stardust’s party didn’t recognize you, but you weren’t their Siffrin, they weren’t yours, but this is Mira, maybe…
Mirabelle gets close enough to see your star body.
She stops in shock at your body. It’s not something somebody would usually be able to craft, as far as you know.
But that look on her face, she’s thinking through something, and she tries to confirm it with a question.
“…Siffrin?”
…Mira…
You start sobbing.
“…Mira…! It’s… I… It’s been so long since I had the chance to see you.”
You crawl towards her as best your body can in this state. She rushes over to meet you in the middle and you practically throw yourself into a hug with her.
It’s really Mira, you’re really back, and she recognized you!
“…There’s so much that I need to explain but I… just can’t, right now.”
Mira looks conflicted. You don’t think she knows how to comfort you right now.
Frankly, you don’t think there is anything that could comfort you right now. Especially now that you’ve just remembered you’re going to have to kill the King again.
Whatever.
You can just tell Mira about the CARROT method now.
Makes the prospect of actually fighting tomorrow easier to handle.
After all, you did get a bit of a warmup with Stardust earlier.
…Now that you think about it, you should probably equip that Memory of Stardust you got after your fight. It should make things much easier.
Mira snaps you out of your thoughts.
“…Siffrin… what happened to you…?”
…You don’t want to answer. You know you will have to eventually. Odile probably wouldn’t be able to keep herself from prying.
Besides, if the Universe didn’t want you to communicate then it would’ve given you back your old body.
“I… I’ll tell everybody at the Clocktower tonight. Well, there are maybe some parts that Bonnie shouldn’t hear… but it’s… very complicated.”
Mira pats your back. She touches you. You’re here. Even if it’s been so long, you’re still here, you’re still back.
“…Alright, Siffrin. I understand. I can’t imagine how you’re feeling about this.”
…You’ve had time to come to terms with your body, it’s everything else that’s overwhelming you right now.
But that’s not important.
As you (reluctantly) pry yourself from the hug, you stand up and mentally prepare yourself for the talks that are about to happen.
“I should probably go and talk to everybody else about… this, so they aren’t surprised later.”
“Oh, do you need me to tell you where everyone is, Siffrin?”
You wish.
It’s been a while since you were in your version of Dormont, but you don’t remember any major differences compared to Stardust’s.
“As long as nothing’s too different then Isa is at the Favor Tree, Odile is at the shop, and Bonnie is over by some field, right?”
Mira looks surprised for a moment, then shakes herself out of it. “Yeah, that’s… how did you know that?”
Right, before you forget, CARROT method.
“It’s part of what caused… this. Also, before I forget, does the CARROT method mean anything to you?”
Mira looks even more shocked than before, somehow.
“What do you… oh my change that makes so much sense now. But why do you…” She realizes mid-sentence that it’s again related to your body. “…right.”
You begin leaving the meadow to enter Dormont.
You don’t particularly want the townspeople to see you like this but there isn’t any preventing it, and you can just ignore them anyways.
So…
Who should you talk to first?
Odile is probably the closest, but she might try to interrogate you now…
Bonnie is further away, but going to them first would require backtracking away from the Clocktower too much for your taste…
Isa is by the Favor Tree, but you don’t want to talk with him just yet, and now that you think about it you want to make another wish, maybe one that will guarantee you could see Stardust again eventually?
That will likely use a lot more thinking than you’d be able to do just going over to the tree. You don’t want to mess anything up with this wish, after all.
…You suppose you can stop at the Change God statue first. Get your bearings. Stars, maybe they’ll even have something to say to you, after everything.
You’ve Changed as a result of this, after all. Maybe they’ll have something nice to say for once.
If they even speak to you at all.
…How did Stardust do this again? They would… believe strongly or something? You don’t remember if you ever did this during your loops.
Whatever. You consider what’s happened to your friends so many times. You wouldn’t be able to bear seeing them hurt again, you think.
As you look at the statues, you… “believe strongly” that your friends will get hurt less by attacks.
…Nothing happens. You weren’t expecting anything from the Change God, but something still feels off.
Stardust didn’t just pray at the Housemaiden’s Change God statue, right?
He and the Housemaiden had both touched the statue, if you remember correctly.
Well, it wouldn’t hurt to try.
You reach out and touch the face of one of the Change God statues.
Your vision goes bright, and you reflexively close your eyes.
You open them, still half-expecting to see Dormont again, but all you see is a darkless void.
You suppose they have something to say to you after all.
As you get over your surroundings, you see a change statue approaching in the distance.
…This is going to take a while if they keep going at that pace.
“Stars, can you pick up the pace, Change God? There are things that I want to get done in Dormont.”
The statue changes into Bonnie. Stardust had mentioned that part, hadn’t they?
uuuugh fine but im not doing it cuz i like you or anything (*`з˜)
im just doing this bcuz you’ve changed!!! \(^ω^)/
The Change God shifts into your old body, with your desensitized appearance from thousands of loops.
you’re not the same old self-hating traveler!
i mean you probably still hate urself im not sure
They then replicate your new star form. That’s not unnerving at all, thank you.
but u still changed!!! i’m so happy for you!!! (≥✓≤)
Stars they are so much more annoying than you expected from Stardust’s description.
Their body changes into the King. It takes everything you have to not instantly collapse in fear.
but honestly i’ve had enough of you travelers for three thousand loops.
Just as quickly, they change into Mira’s appearance.
could you tell the universe to stop w/ the time related stuff
it would mean a looooot to me (T∆T)
and im tired of you people freezing time its so annoyingggg (≡д≡)
like the whole point is you can change the future that can’t happen when the future never comes (ò∩ó)
“…Didn’t you tell Stardust you were enjoying watching him? I have a memory from Stardust talking about that.”
Their body changes into Odile’s, not angry, but definitely not happy.
right ya the memory stuff (¬⌂¬) why do you people need to remember things so much anyways
its not like any of you can even remember the island anyways *sigh*
but about the enjoyment part i said I would enjoy watching him change (őωő)
and you’ve already changed enough in here (≈∙≈)
“…So what, I’m no longer entertaining to you?”
They change into an excited Isa.
exactly!!! glad to know u understand!!! (°ω°)
That’s not what you said at all, but you don’t care enough to argue with the Change God.
You’ve had enough of Houses of Change for a lifetime anyways.
The Change God changes their form into the Head Housemaiden. Probably. That’s what Stardust’s looked like, anyways.
anyways i wanted to tell you that i’ve changed up the house a bit as celebration for your stardust breaking out of the loops!
you probably don’t remember what the house was like during your loops anyways so i decided to make it like your stardust’s!
consider it my thanks for being so entertaining! ΐ(≥◦≤)јʹ
…You hate to admit it but that’s probably for the best.
You don’t think you would be able to handle going through even one more loop learning what the House looked like again.
You already have a lot to explain to your party anyways. You don’t want to have to explain that you’re looping in a new House as well.
The Change God changes back into your star body once more.
i would’ve liked to do that memory thing again like i did with your stardust but oh well
ѵ(⌐⌂⌐)√
its not like i really care about those anyways
anyways see ya for now!!! keep on changing!!! and other stuff!!!
Your vision goes bright once again, and you find yourself back at the Change God statue in Dormont.
That didn’t do very much in terms of making you think better of them but at least they’re doing… anything to help you out in some way.
Now that you’re through all of that, you feel a lot more comfortable with the idea of talking to Odile. She’s relatively normal, after all.
And you certainly aren’t going to make another wish right after dealing with the Change God, and Bonnie is too energetic for you right now. Almost as much as Change is, even.
You make your way down from the statues and enter the store.
Odile doesn’t seem to be paying much attention, but still appears to notice the lighting change that your star brought in and turns around.
She seems to study your body for a few moments, but… “…Siffrin?”
You could cry again.
“…Yeah, it’s me. I’m planning on explaining this at the Clocktower later. It’s complicated and not something I want to talk about twice just yet.”
Odile still seems to be trying to come to terms with your new body. “I… very well, Siffrin. I trust that this isn’t going to be too distracting for you tomorrow?”
Hah. Like there’s anything that could distract you from fighting the King except the King himself.
“Of course it won’t be, I’ve had plenty of time to get used to it because of what I’ll be explaining later.”
Odile seems to accept this answer for now, and turns back to buying supplies for tomorrow.
You probably won’t need them anyways, but it would be nice to not be craft-exhausted after all of this is over.
You aren’t even sure if you can get craft exhaustion because your body is likely some form of pure wish craft but that’s beside the point.
You decide you’ll go check in with Bonnie now. You still aren’t completely certain how to word your wish, and going back to the Clocktower with Isa sounds… nice.
You go over towards where Bonnie is and find them looking over the vegetable field like always.
They hear you walking up and look back at you.
You call out to them, like Stardust did during their first loop. “Bonnie!”
They turn around and look surprised for a while. They stay silent for a while, as if thinking through something. “…Frin…?”
You’re very close to crying again.
“…Yeah, that’s me… I’m going to explain… all of this later at the Clocktower, okay?”
Bonnie nods a lot at that, mouth slightly ajar. You wonder what they’re thinking about.
You wonder if you can even eat anymore.
“Alright! I’ll see you later, Frin.”
You start going over to the Favor Tree. Part of you just wants to wait for Isa to come through Dormont, but you want to make that wish eventually, and there’s no better time than right after talking to Isa.
You notice a few people in Dormont looking over at you as you walk through the town.
You don’t care what these people think.
But a lot of them seem more interested rather than off put.
You suppose Vaugarde is accepting of a lot of things. Even people like you.
As you reach the edge of Dormont, you remember to equip the Memory of Stardust. Hopefully it will make beating the King a breeze tomorrow.
You walk up to Isa’s spot next to the Favor Tree.
He seems to be lost in thought as usual, but the light from your head gets him to open his eyes. “Sif?”
You start crying again.
They recognize you, they remember you!
You may not be Siffrin anymore but they still know who you were!
“Isa I… I have so much I need to tell you. I’m telling everybody at the Clocktower, but could you… wait outside the Boulangerie? I want to make a wish first.”
Isabeau doesn’t seem to want to let this go just yet, but seems to trust your reasoning.
“…Alright, Sif, but you can talk to us about whatever’s wrong… or whatever caused the new body I guess.”
You know that by now.
Isabeau walks away from the Favor Tree.
Alright, the wish, the wish...
Something that would allow you to see Stardust again, but you wouldn’t be able to live with yourself if you had to leave your friends behind in order to do it…
Maybe you could wish to be in Stardust’s world and then later make a wish to come back to your world? But that still doesn’t feel right…
You don’t even know if you would have enough Wish Craft for something like that.
Either way it feels like you’d have to choose between Stardust and your friends, but surely you can make a wish that wouldn’t…
…Maybe that would work? Something like ‘I wish I didn’t have to choose’?
Think for a second, how could a wish like that go wrong?
Well, maybe it would just make a copy of yourself and put that into Stardust’s world, and you would be none the wiser.
Maybe it would just do nothing, the Universe could just choose to leave you here without seeing Stardust…
Maybe you could tack on wanting to see Stardust again in that wish? Something like ‘I wish to see Stardust but not have to leave my friends behind’?
Hmmm, that feels closer, but it could just bring your friends with you to Stardust’s world, or even just show you what Stardust is doing right now.
Well, if it’s about you going to Stardust’s world alone, but also being able to come back to your world, maybe the wish could be ‘I wish to be able to go between Stardust’s world and my world’?
You’re getting close but that still feels off.
… ‘I wish… I didn’t have to choose between Stardust’s world and my world’?
You’re very close now, but maybe a bit more specific? That one still has the same issue of the Universe doing nothing since you didn’t choose.
‘I wish I could go to Stardust’s world and come back to my world whenever.’
…Yeah, that sounds good.
You would be able to go visit Stardust whenever, and you could come right back to your world once you’re done with him.
Make sure to not mix up the wish in your thoughts now, as you grab a leaf and whisper into it.
“…I wish I could go to Stardust’s world and come back to my world whenever. I wish I could go to Stardust’s world and come back to my world whenever. I wish I could go to Stardust’s world and come back to my world whenever.”
Alright, the wish has been whispered, now to fold up the leaf... and let it go.
Now to go get Isa and head back to the Clocktower. And then explain things. Right.
You make your way back to Dormont and see Isa waiting by the Boulangerie, like you asked him to.
He spots you coming back from the Favor Tree and makes his way over to you.
“…Did your wish go well?”
Ha… you can only hope so.
You can’t really picture a world where it went as badly as your previous two wishes.
“I… imagine it did. The others are probably waiting at the Clocktower by now.”
Isa nods, and the both of you start making your way over to the Clocktower.
You imagine he would have more to say, but he’s likely thinking his way through… everything.
You aren’t certain just what the differences between your party and Stardust’s are, especially personality-wise, but… you’d like to think your Isa’s smart like Stardust’s was.
Is, rather. They still exist in that other reality.
You jump over the broken bridge leading to the Clocktower.
It’s been a while since you did that, but apparently your muscle memory is still here.
You and Isa meet the rest of your friends outside the Clocktower.
They’ve all been waiting for you and Isa.
They deserve an explanation.
And you are the only one who can provide it.
Bonnie gets started on dinner, and everybody else gathers around the table.
You tell everybody that you’ve decided to go by they/them rather than he/they.
You don’t mention that it was partially because you didn’t feel like Siffrin by the time you met Stardust.
You can broach the topic of not being Siffrin anymore later. After the King is gone for good.
Bonnie cooks samosas. It’ll be the same as always, but you haven’t had the chance to eat them in a while.
You also weren’t eating often in your loops in general.
As Bonnie sets out dinner for everybody, you grab a samosa to see if you still can eat.
You might as well try.
“So… Frin? Can you… eat like that?”
That’s… embarrassing. Your face would’ve just gotten warmer if you still had your old one.
You weren’t planning on mentioning that to them, but…
“I… don’t know. I haven’t exactly had a chance to try eating yet…”
“Well you better try it NOW! So you can eat as much as you want later! If you can, I guess.”
You chuckle at Bonnie’s antics. It’s been far too long since you were able to talk with all of them like this, even semi-normally.
…Alright, here goes…
You raise the samosa up to your head, roughly where your mouth would be…
…It’s like trying to push it into a solid wall.
“I guess I can’t eat like this. Maybe the Universe is taking care of my bodily needs or something.”
Odile looks inquisitively at you. “The Universe? Is that what’s caused your… sudden change?”
That’s one way to put it, but you might as well get into the actual explanations now.
“You could say that, but it’s partially related to the explanation that I should probably get into now.”
You see Bonnie and Mira focus in on you now, as Isa and Odile get into more comfortable thinking positions.
“Now… where to start…” This is a complicated matter to get into, so where to start… Wish Craft is probably the best place. “…First of all, most people don’t know how to make a wish at a Favor Tree.”
Honestly, part of you is appalled that people think just clapping your hands is what makes up a wish.
Even when you didn’t remember that there was a proper ritual you would’ve thought that was silly.
“There is a proper ritual for making a wish, and it’s not clapping your hands, but it makes sense that almost nobody remembers the ritual, as it was related to a religion that can’t be remembered anymore.”
Odile starts writing intensely in her notebook. Isa looks to be turning the gears in his own head. Meanwhile Bonnie and Mira both just look confused and entranced by the… story, for lack of a better term.
“This is because the religion was from the island north of Vaugarde, that nobody can remember anything about, with wishes acting as a link to the Universe.”
Now you’re getting to the actual Wish Craft part.
“This was considered Wish Craft by the people of the island, with a few things making up a wish. The wish itself, the intent behind the wish, and the ritual used.”
Part of you wishes you had the time to get into a whole spiel about the Universe but you’re just explaining the essentials for now.
“I won’t get into any more specifics about Wish Craft right now, but it is what gave the King access to his Time Craft, and… is partially… well no, it is the reason for my new body.”
You know you’ll have to explain a lot more than that, but that requires actually getting into your wishes. “But to be more specific, my body is the result of my second wish, which was a wish for help I made as a result of my first wish.”
No turning back now, you’ve got to finish the explanation, or you are certain Odile would smite you where you stand. You don’t doubt she would be able to, either.
“My first wish resulted in…” You breathe in… and out. “A time loop. Starting when I wake up from my nap earlier today and continuing until we either beat the King or fail trying.”
You hear Mira and Isa gasp at that. Odile stiffens slightly.
“My second wish… I had… given up. I had been just fighting for an eternity and finally beaten the King, only to loop right back to Dormont.”
Mira looks devastated. You probably would be too, if you had been told that everything you were working towards required a time loop to even accomplish.
A time loop that didn’t even end when it was accomplished.
“So I made a wish for help, and the Universe listened. It dropped a star into my hands and I ate it, only to wake up under the Favor Tree with another Siffrin in that blinding meadow.”
Bonnie seems completely lost right now. Odile will probably explain it to them better later, but you hope that they didn’t understand what… failing entailed in your explanation.
“So my wish for help translated to me being forced to help another version of myself, who I called Stardust, through their own time loop.”
Would things have gone better if you told Stardust who you were from the start? Maybe.
But they never would’ve learned how to read the language of the island. Not unless they got sloppy and the King found out they were looping.
But it required Stardust trying to make peace with him for the King to realize, and get the chance to betray that trust.
“And we learned so much more than I ever did on my own. They… I never discovered Wish Craft in my loops, and they… they discovered what made up a wish, they discovered that Favor Trees could grant wishes with the proper rituals…”
You trail off. You aren’t really going anywhere with this part of the explanation. “…That’s beside the point. They managed to escape their loops, and… now I’m back here.”
Odile seems to be staring at you like you forgot to mention something. “You mentioned that these… loops, were caused by your first wish?”
You nod. As if you could ever believe they were caused by anything else by this point.
“…I notice you didn’t tell us what this first wish was.”
STARS.
Right, that part.
The… most important part of the explanation.
“Stars I forgot about that… I… my first wish… I… don’t remember exactly what I tried to wish for…” Just spit the damn thing out you know they’re going to stay with you if you ask. “…But if Stardust is any indication of what it was, then… Iwishedtostaywitheveryone.”
Isa, Bonnie, and Mira all look confused trying to decipher what you said. Odile smirks at you and raises one of her eyebrows.
“What was that, Siffrin?”
Your face is hotter than the sun.
Even if you still had a human face, that would still be the case.
“I wished… to stay with everybody… after we beat the King.”
“Cute.”
You are going to die. You are going to die and loop back and never speak to Odile again.
You don’t even have a cloak to hide under anymore.
The others are all looking at you like you’re adorable.
You are going to die.
This is worse than dying to the King. You could at least get used to the pain of that.
You hate being vulnerable. You’ve always hated being vulnerable. Stardust did too. You guess that’s one similarity between you two.
Bonnie speaks up first.
“Well you can come with me to Bambouche! You can meet Nille! And then we can all travel together!”
Odile steps in before Bonnie gets too out of hand.
“Not so fast, Boniface, we’d have to make sure your sister is actually okay with traveling, otherwise taking you with us becomes a little something called a kidnapping.”
She follows up with her own availability.
“But for the question at hand, if I had any serious plans of going back to Ka Bue anytime soon, I wouldn’t be here in the first place. I can join as well, if that wasn’t already clear enough.”
Isa reassures you next.
“Well, I wasn’t planning on joining the Defenders again anytime soon, so there’s nothing stopping me from coming with everybody!”
Mira still seems a bit anxious, but starts talking as well.
“I don’t really have any reason to stay in Dormont that much either. Plus, I think it’s about time I went on a Pilgrimage, so I could probably stay with you all!”
You’re crying again.
They want to stay with you. It really was that simple all along, wasn’t it?
“But let’s not get too hasty with our vacation plans, as we still have some regicide to commit, don’t we? We should all get some sleep in tonight. I take it these loops made you a lot stronger than you were before, Siffrin?”
You nod. You certainly don’t have the same range of attacks that Stardust did, but you still know the Universe has still granted you some of those star attacks.
“Also, before we go to sleep…”
You trail off. Part of you can’t believe you’re actually asking this, but you’ve started and you aren’t going to chicken out of it now.
“…Would it be alright… if we… had a group hug…?”
Isa and Mira’s eyes light up at you. They exclaim various versions of ‘of course’ or something of the sort, and Bonnie has already run themselves into your legs.
Your friends are here for you. Your friends love you, and you love them back.
Odile goes to ruffle your hair but with your new head it’s more like she just pets you.
You aren’t sure if that makes it more embarrassing or not.
“I suppose it will be a minute before you all come up, but I for one am too tired for all of this and suggest the rest of you go to sleep soon as well. We still have a busy day ahead of us.”
Yeah, you still need to beat the King tomorrow. If you’re lucky, he might think you’re from the Universe and just give up, but that’s less likely than Isa actually confessing.
Right, Isa’s… attempted confession… you wouldn’t want him to interrupt everybody else’s sleep for that, especially not right now. You stop him before you head to bed.
“Um Isa… you… just wait until tomorrow. I haven’t heard it myself, but I don’t really want you to wake up everybody over something you still haven’t said.”
Isa’s face gets very dark very quickly. “OH YEAH THAT… um alright Sif don’t worry about it I can be very normal about this. Wait, are you saying I would wake everybody up over it every time?”
You start chuckling at Isa’s misfortune. Stars you love this man.
“I mean… I don’t remember it happening in my loops because I barely ever looped back to Dormont, but if Stardust’s loops were anything to go by…”
Isa’s face somehow gets even darker, which you didn’t think was possible. “Alright you can stop talking now I get it.”
Stars, you’ve really missed this.
How did you ever give up without even telling your friends.
You lay down next to Isa on the Clocktower’s bed. You close your eyes.
You drift off into sleep.
It’s perhaps the most rest you’ve had in years.
--- ????????? ---
You open your eyes to a Favor Tree.