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Summary
Back from the failed Paradis mission, Reiner Braun finds himself trapped in a role he no longer believes in. The idealism of childhood is gone, replaced by guilt and self-loathing as he carries out atrocities for Marley. Reiner's miserable four-year time skip.
Reiner had lost himself on Paradis. The more he tried to be Marley's Sword and Shield, a good Eldian, a perfect Warrior, the more apparent it was that he was incapable of being any of these things. Maybe it was the inevitable result of growing up — losing faith, seeing through the illusions and lies to the festering truth beneath. Maybe he was contaminated, irrevocably stained by contact with the enemy. It happened, especially in campaigns where soldiers were in close contact with enemy populations — defection and fraternisation. This was why there had been a push in the 820s to expand the use of Eldian battalions. Nobody wanted to fraternise with devils.
He teetered between the desire to die and the conviction that living was the punishment he deserved. On the frontlines it was easy to believe he was already in hell.
Series
- Part 2 of Do or Die