Work Text:
ONE PIECE FILM PINK
ONE piece.
film start.
film opens with blackbeards laugh, and the crackle of the transponder snail he laughs into being heard by the audience.
uta has been resurrected and blackbeard is using her as a bribe to BIG MOM, who was also resurrected by Kaido after he and Sanji got married (post film BROWN).
Big mom declines, as she has found her way - she looks entirely different due to the starvation she faced - to becoming a better person and no longer needs uta.
TRANSITION.
Shanks, the main character, sits upon a barstool, seen crying his eyes out like a baby due to the loss of his crew, who got eaten by a rowdy kid.
But, all is well. He spits them up. they dont shower.
suddenly, PIMP doflamingo appears. he also seems to be teary-eyed, almost as if he had also lost something dear to him.
even though shanks doesn't care, doflamingo explains how he has a forbidden romance with akainu, and was let out due to that love. akainu said they could never meet again, so he wants to go back to prison.
shanks asks doflamingo to join his crew. he accepts.
the rest of shanks' crew enters covered in vomit and saliva due to them being eaten. in one of their hands, they carry a small pink dragon.
all he does is cry. stupid kid.
he explains to shanks his name is momonosuke, from the country of wano. he had followed yamato out to sea after he set sail on a pathetic boat. they both had gotten stranded during a storm and separated.
momonosuke weeps, explaining how he had also got struck by lightning and he literally reverted back into his child body.
as soon as the boy finishes his sentence, a crack of lightning blares and sets the bar on fire.
everyone dashes out of the building only to see the yamato character that momonosuke had spoken of with a man who had extremely long earlobes. behind them is an army of… guys.
momonosuke weeps from joy and screams for a surprised yamato, who was questioning the boy’s body. momonosuke clarifies that the electrical current - from the lightning he got struck by - was enough to cancel out shinobu's ability.
enel and yamato glance at each other and then look back. enel introduces himself as slim shady. slim shady says they go by ze zir pronouns as well, and that ze is going to be the zife of yamato.
shanks scratches his head and congratulates them. awkward silence until one of those birds who drops off the news papers arrives and drops a newspaper into shanks’ hand. the front page reads that uta the popstar has been brought back from the dead and is under blackbeards control.
shanks begins to tweak and demands that they save her.
CUT (for commercial)
BACK TO FILM
helmeppo is on a small row boat in the middle of the ocean. thats it.
the scene is just focused on him for a little too long. uncomfortably long. like. 5 minutes.
it turns night. and a boat is pulling up. eagerly helmeppo screams for the boat, begging for help.
the boat - the red force - comes to a halt and allows helmeppo to get on on the condition that he not tell koby, who is shanks’ long distance friend.
helmeppo complies, and he joins the journey to save uta.
CUT (for commercial)
BACK TO FILM
blackbeard becomes ill.
everyone freaks out - but no one more than gojo, who is in love with blackbeard.
queen otohime, who never died, claims it was a curse placed upon him by a good friend of hers.
Boa Hancock.
the only way to break the curse is by true loves kiss…
TRANSITION
blackbeard goes around kissing random people on pirate island, but just as he was about to kiss koby, the red force appears in the distance.
shanks’ green aura can be smelt all the way from there. disgusting.
they pull up to the island and demand uta. blackbeard sighs and says they can have her IF he can kiss all of them.
slim shady says no way.
‘im a zife! you wont kiss me!’
blackbeard asks zir if ze is woke. ze says that ze is.
suddenly, gojo runs up to blackbeard with tears in his eyes. ‘please.. stop kissing people! im in love with you!’
blackbeard blushes and turns to face gojo. flower petals fall… another end (by azali) begins to play as their faces inch closer and they finally kiss.
blackbeard is no longer ill. he asks gojo to marry him. gojo says yes.
doflamingo is touched, surprisingly. he himself yearns for that with kawaiinu.
blackbeard, out of the goodness of his heart, offers uta to the crew. shanks happily accepts.
uta is given to shanks and he weeps from joy, as does she - but it doesnt seem like theyll be let off easy.
CUT (for commercial)
BACK TO FILM
koby gasps as he sees shanks, his long distance friend. he grows angry as he sees helmeppo on the boat.
koby calls shanks a friend cheater.
everyone is startled, and koby begins a brawl.
shanks and uta have to fight alongside each other (really cool by the way) along with the rest of the crew to calm the brawl down. slim shady zaps them all when it doesnt work, and they all pass out.
everyone gets on the boat and sighs with relief, helmeppo brings koby along (even though hes like crisp bacon). shanks is very overjoyed to finally see his daughter again. but, thats when doflamingo confesses his love to shanks.
he claims he wants to form a polyamorous relationship between him akainu and shanks.
shanks lowkey says yeah, but only if beckman can join.
doflamingo rolls his eyes and all three of them kiss at once.
they hold slim shady and yamato's wedding on the red force and celebrate with alcohol.
‘heh.. you know something shanks?’ benn beckman utters
‘hm?’
‘maybe… maybe this is the one piece. our one piece.’
shanks stares thoughtfully at the ocean. ‘I think you're right, benn… maybe the one piece is the friends and experiences we make on our journey.’