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There are many words that have been used to describe Alfred. Foolish, reckless, naive. His sister never bit her tongue when it came to scolding him. Not that he minded, he appreciated honesty. There was a word that she’d never called him, but right now, it was an emotion he was feeling. Selfish. Had he shared this anxiety with anyone, they’d certainly balk at the accusation. However, he couldn’t see his thoughts as anything but.
Princess Ivy was a lovely woman who had experienced so much hardship in her life. She had lost so much, and struggled with trusting people. Here he was, actually considering effectively betraying her. It wasn’t like he wanted to. He wanted to live a long happy life with his friends. And yet, the more frequent attacks borne of his illness were starting to weigh even on his cheerful mind.
Would he be much longer for this world? He wished he had the answer to that, but not even the divine dragon would know. As always, he’d be fine after a few minutes. However, that didn’t mean it wasn’t getting worrying. It was hitting a point where he didn’t even want to talk to his sister about it. She was already anxious about his health. He didn’t need to make things even worse for her.
As another strong cough left his throat, he felt the recoil throughout his body. He could not wait for this torment to end. If he never had an episode again, it’d still be too soon. He worked so hard to overcome his illness, and yet? It persisted, completely apathetic to the effort he put in.
“Prince Alfred? Are you okay?” The newcomer asked as she stepped in front of him.
He coughed again, though this one came of shock as opposed to his condition. Why did he have to collapse here of all places? In the spot where he and Princess Ivy had met so many times. Things had gone from bad to worse. Not only had he been caught during an episode, he also had been caught by one of the people he was scared of hurting most.
“P-princess Ivy! Don’t worry, just tripped!” He exclaimed.
He couldn’t move his head to see her face, but he highly doubted it looked pleased. Probably confused, concerned, or even annoyed. The last of them normally wouldn’t bother him, but luck didn’t seem to be on his side today. Her irritation would be born out of.worry, especially after their last talk. Which would lead to more questions, questions he didn’t have any good answers to.
“You tripped… and that made you cough so vigorously?”
He could hear the disbelief dripping off her lips. He needed to come up with something better, but nothing was coming to mind. It was completely blank, he was panicking. He didn’t need anyone looking down on him or worrying about him. He needed to be reliable. Plain and simple. If he could’ve he may have just started running. It’d give him time to think about how to approach at least.
His body moving faster than his logical side, he decided it was worth the risk. He tried to stand up and run, but it only led to him actually tripping and landing flat on his face. Which led to him coughing even more. If his condition didn’t kill him, the shame and embarrassment would.
“Just what are you doing!?” Ivy demanded.
He then felt a hand resting on him. He almost wanted to pull away, but he didn’t have the energy to, not to mention he didn’t want to be mean to someone who’s just trying to help. She grabbed his shoulder and started pulling him up. For someone who was mostly known as a spell caster, she was surprisingly strong if she could lift him.
She sighed before she guided him to a nearby bench. His hand rushed to his mouth as a few more coughs came out of him. She helped him sit down, then sat next to him. He continued to cough for a few more moments as Ivy stayed next to him with her hand on his shoulder. Alfred looked towards her as his spell slowly subsided.
“Sorry you had to see that…”
“Do not apologize. ‘This is just what allies do’ I believe you once said.” Ivy quoted.
She smiled at him, bringing blood to his cheeks. At this point he wasn’t sure if it was because of her seeing him in his sorry shape, or how mesmerizing her expression was. As if he was looking at moonlight itself.
“Fair enough!” He chirped. “Okay, I just need a few minutes to catch my breath, then I’ll be out of your hair!”
Ivy frowned, depriving Alfred of his precious moonlight. “It’d be fine if you needed hours even. I’ll stay with you until you’re okay.”
“No!” He said a bit louder than he expected to.
Her frown deepened. He didn’t mean to upset her, but he also didn’t need anyone else knowing about his illness. Not to mention, he didn’t want to burden Ivy with this.
“Are you still hung up on that paying me back thing?” He said with a forced chuckle. “You really don’t have to.”
“Of course not. If I may, ‘When I see you’re in a spot, I help out. You don’t owe me for that. None of my friends do.’” She quoted again.
Alfred sighed. He didn’t regret saying that, considering how much it helped her, but man he wished it wasn’t being thrown back at him. There wasn’t really a way out of this one was there? Even once he was okay, he had no real way of retreating. Trying to run would just trigger another spell. Not to mention that Ivy was pretty stubborn. It was just another thing he adored about her.
“Could it be…” She began. “You do not truly trust me?” Her eyes drooped. “I suppose I cannot blame you, given which nation I hail from.”
He lifted his hands and shook them frantically. “No, not at all! I trust you a lot Princess Ivy! I even told you that during that conversation you keep going back to! I just… I don’t know how to explain it without just giving it away. It’s private, I suppose is the best way I can go about that.”
“Fair enough. I suppose I should not pry.” She conceded, much to his relief. “Just know that I am here for you. If you need anything, anything at all. Remember that we are friends, and I will be there for you. In an instant.”
Alfred blushed again. She had a way of flustering him when she wasn’t even trying. He was a bit scared to learn how she’d be if she was doing it on purpose. Then again, he wouldn’t be opposed if it was directed towards him. Alas, he doubted he’d ever see that.
“Thank you, Princess Ivy. I appreciate that, I really do.”
The shining moonlight returned. “Of course.” She looked up at the sky. “A beautiful night, is it not?”
Alfred looked up as well. “Huh, I didn’t really notice before, but you’re right! Sure is pretty! I could stare at if forever.”
He found himself a bit transfixed by the sight. So many shining stars were illuminating it. The Somniel was such a lovely place regardless of time. It always came with such a wonderful view. Not to mention all the wonderful friends he made like the divine dragon and Veyle. And of course, Ivy. He was so grateful that he came along on this journey.
Had he not, he wouldn’t have had so many wonderful experiences. Seeing the world, saving and protecting people. It didn’t just help him improve as an individual. It helped him improve as a prince. He could serve his people even better, thanks to people like Ivy.
“Prince Alfred?”
“Hm?”
“Why were you out so late, if I may ask?”
“Oh, I was training of course! What about you?”
“Mm.” A blush crept onto her face, much to Alfred’s confusion. “I… wanted to see you.”
Alfred leaned forward with surprise. “Huh? Why did you want to see me?”
Her blush deepened. She turned her head away from her friend. “Well…”
Alfred put a hand on her shoulder. “Well… like you said. I won’t pry. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to!”
“No… I do want to. The words are just difficult to find I’m afraid.”
Alfred tilted his head. What could be so difficult for her to say? She doesn’t tend to hold back as far as he’s seen. Including with him. Maybe there was something on his face? Was his shoe untied? Neither of those seemed to be true. Did that mean he did something wrong? Something so embarrassing that she was blushing? That’d make sense, she was so embarrassed on his behalf… About what though? She said she wouldn’t pry, so he didn’t see it being about the state he was found in.
“I have always very much appreciated you, even when I was too proud to admit it. Not just that, but I admired you. Even… envied you. I respected how you were capable of trusting so easily. How it came to you like breathing. The fact that you trusted me, even before I trusted you. You called me your friend before I did. It meant the world to me, looking back on it.”
He nodded with a soft smile and a blush on his own face. He had no idea that Ivy thought so highly of him. It filled his chest with such warmth that the sun would pale in comparison.
“And that is why… I had to tell you. Even if you don’t reciprocate, that I have feelings for you. Please do not feel pressured to spare me. I understand if you do not feel the same. I’m expecting it quite frankly. And that’s okay. I just wanted to make sure you knew.”
Alfred’s jaw dropped. She… felt the same way? He wasn’t sure when it happened for either of them, but they had both fallen for the other. It’d be funny if it wasn’t so sad. He wasn’t sure if he could reciprocate. He didn’t want to betray her. He didn’t want to start a relationship with her, only to die early. He didn’t want to break her like that.
He looked downward. Agreeing to becoming a couple, well, it made him as happy as muscles did! He didn’t want to be selfish though. He couldn’t be selfish. He was a prince after all. If he lived long enough, he’d be king! A king has to think of his loved ones before himself. Plus she was already anticipating a rejection. So it wouldn’t be too big a deal. Better to hurt her now than to hurt her later.
He turned towards her to give his final answer, but nothing came out. He looked into her eyes, her beautiful eyes. Full of longing, despite her words. He wouldn’t have been surprised if his own were filled with the same. Alfred wanted this, so badly, but he couldn’t tell her about his condition. He couldn’t worry her like that.
“I… I have feelings for you too!” He blurted out. “You’re so beautiful and cool, the fact that you feel the same is something beyond my wildest dreams!”
Ivy’s eyes widened before they closed. She smiled at him, a smile greater than any he’d seen before. He… he couldn’t make her cry. He refused to. Why was he so close to giving up? There’s nothing that says his illness will take him. He just has to keep working at it, so he can live to see Ivy smile a million more times. And maybe, just maybe. He could ask for help. He was close friends with a deity after all! Anything that’d make it so he could see that smile every morning, and every night.
“Alfred… Thank you I… I’m touched. Does it mean that, are we together then?”
This was his last chance. He could back out now, he’d look like a jerk, but he theoretically could. However, he didn’t want to. All he wanted to do was be Ivy’s partner in this life. To answer the question, he leaned in and closed his eyes. His lips soon touched hers, much to her pleasant surprise. He prayed to the divine dragon that he could give her many more.
One day, if all else fails, he’ll tell her about what’s going on. If it truly seems there is no light at the end of the tunnel. He knew that she’d understand. Right now though, his optimism was back in full force. So much so that he’d smash the tunnel down and make a way towards a future with his partner.He’d do it for Firene, for Elusia, for Elyos, and for her.