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When Illuga was small, he remembers straining his little neck as hard as he could to peer into the banquet hall and see what all the adults were doing. The atmosphere had been somber, then, as people wept into their drinks and hiding their eyes.
He didn’t understand, at the time. Weren’t banquets supposed to be happy things?
And then he grew up. He grew up, and he learned their purpose. He grew up, and he understands now. Illuga knows that Nikita wasn’t lying, when he said Illuga would learn when he grew older, and yet he can’t understand why–
When Illuga was even smaller, while he can’t remember much of then, he remembers his mother. Kind of.
He can’t make out her face, and that might be his biggest shame. She was always hiding away, behind her husband, through holding something there, oversized hats, as if she didn’t want to be seen. Illuga had wondered, then– perhaps she’s a pirate, on the run? Or a fae, like the legends he’s read about in his storybooks?
Illuga remembers laying on her lap, curled up as she ran her fingers through his air. He remembers telling her his theories, and her replying that it’s nothing that fantastical. Rather, it’s just a long, long while back, there was a dangerous man.
“How dangerous?” Young, naive Illuga had asked then, eyes wide. Perhaps his name wasn’t always Illuga, perhaps it was. It’s the thing that’s given him the most sense of purpose thus far. Regardless of whether or not it was his name, his mother had smiled, taking her hat off for once.
She had kissed his forehead squarely, making him recoil in disgust and attempt to use his baby hands to wipe it off. “Very dangerous, Illuga.” She had said, and while her tone was light, Illuga recognizes now that she had meant it. “You were lucky enough to get papa’s eyes, you know?”
“I was?” Illuga gasped excitedly. He liked being lucky.
“The Bad Man… he hunted us down, dead in the night! Mama was always taught to cover her eyes, or at least be really good at hide and seek.” She flicks him on the nose then, and Illuga whines, making her giggle. “It’s saved mama lots of times. Illuga, someday, you might need to play hide and seek, too.”
That had confused him. They play plenty of games, hide and seek being one of them, so what would make this any different? He’s an excellent hider, and he tells her so. Yet his mama shakes her head in a ‘no’, confusing him even more. She laughs again… or maybe she smiled? Patting him gently on the head.
“The bad man isn’t around anymore,” she assured him. “But there’s still very, very bad things. And while it’s unlikely to happen, if it’s not a 100% no, then that means there’s still room for error. You must be prepared, Illuga!”
Illuga cheered, acting like a little parrot. “So prepared!”
“Yes, yes.”
The next night, the young boy woke up engulfed in flames.
She… his mother had warned him. “You must remember, Illuga. If you see fire, colored black, you must lay down and hide.”
The next night, the young boy saw the blackened edges and the burning purple, and ducked for the floor and started trying to hold his breath, trying to hide in plain sight.
“Hide?! Laying down?! But there’s no cover!” Illuga had argued, dismayed.
The young boy held his breath, counting the seconds, as his father was torn apart in front of him.
“There won’t be any cover. The black fire… it won’t be looking for you specifically, songbird. It would be looking for you moving. Like… red light, green light.”
From where he’s laying, the young boy will muffle a scream and tense, trying to avoid movement, as his mother’s limp body falls beside him.
“Then… I’ll be the best hider! I promise, mama!”
Her eyes are wide open.
“I know you will, baby.”
Her eyes are wide open and they’re staring back at him and they’re empty and black with slashes of red–
Illuga couldn’t bear to look. Like a coward, like a child, he curled up into a ball, hearing the screams die down, squeezing his eyes shut as he hoped that this is all just a bad dream. That when he opened his eyes again, his mama would be smiling at him again, and that it was all a nightmare. He’ll be able to run into his papa’s arms and bawl his eyes out, to cling onto his mother’s dress and sniffle as she reassures him.
Her eyes seared their way into his vision, burning into his retinas, burning away any illusion he’s conjured up into his mind.
The way that they had looked, the lifelessness within him as the light died out and shadows overtook her. Beside him, he had felt the warmth seeping out of her body, and despite the fire around them he had felt oh-so cold.
Perhaps twenty, thirty minutes had passed by, leaving Illuga shaking like a leaf. For all he knows, it could have been an eternity, when a warmth seeps back into his bones. Still, he hadn’t dared move, even as two pairs of heavy boots stopped next to him.
“Poor little thing, shaking so hard... This is no place for someone so young — nothing living, only the Wild Hunt.” The voice he would grow to recognize as Nikita had said, empathetically, sighing. “He got so lucky… or unlucky, depending on the circumstances you view from.”
“Not lucky.”
Illuga’s eyes had snapped open when he felt himself being picked up, looking upwards into kind brown eyes and tufts of blonde hair, someone who he never got to know, Starshyna Sigurd. “She really was an amazing mother... for her child... A child who can survive all this is certain to grow up strong.”
Sigurd had looked Illuga in the eyes, then. There was no trace of fear in them, just a slight exhaustion from the fight. “That is what you are, young one. Strong.”
And yes, Illuga had survived. Even as he was passed into Nikita’s arms and Sigurd instructed the man to retreat with Illuga.
Illuga had grown since then, and yet he still can’t understand why he cannot remember more beyond that. Why his memory chooses to be engulfed in darkness, shedding clarity on that one horrid memory that has served as the foundation for the person he is today.
The Nightmare Orioles, for the third time, had been recalled back to Piramida and sent on routine patrols. After the initial loss of Sir Flins on their team, Illuga had picked up a few other lightkeepers at Starshyna Nikita’s recommendation and returned back to continue investigating and monitoring Kipumaki Cliff’s source of corruption to ensure it didn’t grow futher. After the strange occurrence with that falsified Flins though–
The captain shivers, and shakes his head. The creature was so uncanny. It was trying too hard, yet not at all, to the point of being so laughably wrong it was no laughing matter. The Abyss had changed in some way, and while he had said nothing at the time, not knowing what to say, there had been something strange.
“The Phantom,” Illuga wonders aloud, wincing. That’s what the other ratnik had referred to it as, right? There’s no way that the ‘Phantom’ culminated of the entire Wild Hunt, or else it wouldn’t be so fixated on whatever ‘power’ Flins has.
With the way kuuhvahki has been fluctuating, as of late, both in the past and of today, Illuga can’t help but dread and think of the worst. Kipumaki Cliff has grown unstable ever since that erratic attack, forcing Illuga to call for the initial retreat, and now he’s investigating himself as a ‘vacation’ so Nikita doesn’t notice Illuga throwing himself into blatant danger once more.
Illuga breathes, allowing the dreadful Abyss to enter his body. In his hands he holds a Mandragora’s kuuhvakhi reserve tight, fingers clamped and clammy as he mutters an apology to Nikita.
The energy seeks to corrupt him, to assimilate him into the nightmare it calls home. It reaches for his core, tearing away at the light he’s stored within his system and devouring it. Illuga lets the corruption do its job, feeling the magenta stain the ends of his uniform as the Abyss eats and grows.
Once he’s nearing collapse, Illuga tilts his head back and chugs the moonlight, downing it like a shot, trying not to gag at the influx of energy entering his system. The night sky twinkles above as he coughs and hacks, feeling his insides burn as the light crashes over the dark, seeking to purify, as the Abyss wiggles and screams as it attempts to devour and live, and yet–
The light wins. Every time.
Make no mistake, Illuga should be incinerating. He’s known ever since he was little that this resistance to the substance isn’t natural. It shouldn’t be secondary nature to breathe and consume, to snack and eat the moondust coating the land and infusing with the creatures, and if he had been anybody else, perhaps he would already be dead. But no, he just feels full.
Not uncomfortably full. As the Abyss fizzles out, Illuga feels like he’s just at maximum capacity, instead of satiated.
Illuga feels powerful.
He shudders, breathing in, and out as the kuuhvakhi settles comfortably like a weight on his heart. Illuga breathes, just for a moment longer, before he raises his lantern, channeling more energy than he normally would. His lungs expand with air before Illuga makes the call, throat somewhat raw– “Aedon!”
The golden nightingale shines brighter than usual through the darkness, dispersing of the smog like how soap cuts through grease. In fact, it’s almost like Aedon is singing, looping whirls and dancing whilst trying to pull the Abyss into it’s midst. Instinctively, as if in pain, the darkness pulls away, diverting and clearing a path for Illuga to continue down cleanly.
The extra energy burning in his chest fades away with the attack, the Wild Hunt dispersing, and Illuga grins almost manically, cheering as he runs, the corruptive smog hot on his heels now that the light has somewhat subsided.
It feels like all he’s done is run away in some form throughout his life. His feet are familiar as they’re placed one in front of the other, thudding rhythmically as he tries not to huff and puff, even with Illuga’s own lack of musical talent. The soles of his shoes might be dissolving, the ground trying to consume him whole, and he laughs as he forces himself to pick up the pace.
He’s not helpless anymore, that’s the difference between the person of them and the Illuga standing today. He’s not a little kid, trying his hardest to hold his breath, counting the seconds as the ghost of a rifthound’s breath tickles his ear and the warm blood of his family coated him, soaking him to the bone and sending a chill through him.
No, he’s the leader of the Investigation Team, the Nightmare Orioles. He’s a ratnik on the frontline, he’s somebody who can stand up and fight for the right to live and die himself, as Nikita’s son, as Illuga.
Perhaps he looks a little fucking insane, and yeah, that’s fair. Illuga had been prepared for the worst, had the Abyss actually overtaken him. But it didn’t and he’s a genius, so take that.
The Lightkeepers, ever since Torchforger Solovei had established them, the Abyss had been a consistent problem. The two had been in war for centuries, playing a game to see how they could outlast one another. But perhaps they had been treating the Wild Hunt as a larger enemy than it actually is.
The Wild Hunt, minus the abomination stationed in Kipumaki Cliff, are relatively aimless most of the time. The Phantom, the undying serpent, perhaps those two could be considered the ‘brain’ of this operation?
The Wild Hunt, Illuga realizes with glee, is a creature. Unless given a direct command, they wander aimlessly and seek for a new host to latch onto. It’s always been an assumption made by the Lightkeeper’s that perhaps Kuuhvakhi and the Abyss cancel eachother out, but it’s a more accurate assumption to say that they act as two biological, single-celled organisms seeking to survive that oppose eachother.
It really is a battle to outlast the other, but this time, Illuga has a clear idea on how to win. If he keeps enough kuuhvakhi in his system, he could bide his time and turn corruption into his own power. Energy cannot be created nor destroyed, but it can be changed, and what does it mean to be mortal but change?
Humans are expected to grow. Illuga beams, running towards Cliffwatch Camp. Humans are expected to grow and change, to evolve and find their purpose around them.
If Illuga can keep a continuous source of kuuhvakhi near him, perhaps a lantern or a mandragora (live, so it may emit a constant stream for him to absorb), could he fully uncorrupt an area in Kipumaki Cliff? Is it possible that, after the undying serpent is slain, could they reclaim the land stolen from them and turn it into a home for those who lost their lives to this calamity?
Could this light that he has shed it’s warmth onto, maybe, the ‘good’ times he had, before his village was lost? Or has it been so long that it should be considered faded from his memory and instead reforge his pain into something more apathetic?
As he turns and enters into the camp, Illuga surveys the surroundings.
It feels so dreadfully empty without his team there, he notices wistfully. Cliffwatch Camp has been established for decades, and he just happens to be the one who has the honor of holding the mantle of leader for the Nightmare Orioles this time around. To remain steadfast, and remain the immovable force against the Wild Hunt.
His mental agenda is this:
- Find a less-polluted area unobserved by the undying rat, and bring a Mandragora along.
- If needed, provide the Mandragora with some energy first.
- Use the Mandragora as a continuous source of power and attempt to infuse the ground (or something similar) with kuuhvakhi
- Don’t die in the process (IMPORTANT)
- IF the plan succeeds, use the purified area of land as a test experiment, performing a daily routine and checkup on it.
- IF the plan fails, regroup and feel sick for a day or two from the amount of energy you expend.
It’s always important to account for rest days. The sun is creeping up to be midday, and now that the adrenaline has worn off, Illuga is tired as fuck. He stifles a yawn, suddenly aware of how grimey he must look, covered in abyssal tracks and sweat from sprinting all the way over to Cliffwatch Camp– and while he hadn’t been far away, it was still substantial. Illuga shuffles his way over to the Squad Leader’s Quarters, turning the door knob, only to yelp when the door swings open and he’s shoved hard to the ground and pinned there.
His head is ringing, the gust of wind from the fall getting in his bangs and poking at his eyes, making them shut just for a second–
A sharp slice cuts through the air. It whooshes by his head and lands in the ground next to him as a clear threat, and Illuga’s eyes snap back open to find a man in sharp attire standing above of him, hair a dirty, muted turquoise with a foreign cryo vision attached squarely onto his cape.
“If you’re half as competent as Varka cracks you up to be, you should know I’m not easily fooled by disguises.” The tone isn’t mocking, more detached and vaguely disappointed. “Or have I not beat you into the ground enough for you to realize?”
Illuga recognizes this man, vaguely. Illuga can recognize the Favonius bladework embedded into the stranger’s attack and the specific forging style Mondstadt uses, along with the shining crest that does certify that this person does come from the Favonius Encampment. The squad leader frowns, trying to raise his hands in surrender. “I know how I look, but I’m not your enemy.”
“Save your breath.” The man scowls, lifting his lance, and Illuga’s eyes widen before he summons his own polearm in the nick of time, barely blocking the attack.
The squad leader kicks his foot out and hits the knight in the shin, taking advantage of the momentary distraction to stand and take guard a couple paces away, shifting himself into a more defensive stance. “I mean it,” Illuga tries to emphasize. “I’m one of the Lightkeeper’s squad leaders, this is my usual camp.”
Huffing, the stranger launches forward, ready to land another blow. Illuga doesn’t know what else to do but defend, using his own polearm to block the man’s spear.
Outlast, Illuga. All you have to do is outlast him for him to hear you out.
“Bullshit!” The man scowls, and oh, this guy must have some real leg muscle to be thrusting his spear hard enough to shake Illuga’s polearm. The Favonius Lance seems to have been made more for jabbing at opponents, and Illuga’s own fighting style relies a lot more on slashing. It reminds Illuga a bit of a fencer, or perhaps a particularly angry wasp? Regardless of his own thoughts, the knight keeps speaking, scowling. “They retreated, a couple of weeks ago due to the abyssal activity. You’ll have to try harder than that, scum!”
There’s a chill to the air, undoubtedly the work of elemental energy, as Illuga stands guard, using his own kuuhvakhi to safeguard against the cold, bringing the light inwards as if insulating the layer beneath his skin. The frost is trying to permeate, to slow him down, and it’s not working. His opponent seems frustrated at this, having expended a lot of energy at the start it seems, so all Illuga has to do is bide his time.
After a particularly well timed parry, the knight hisses, reeling back. “When did you get so smart? That shit almost broke my wrist!”
Illuga chooses to strike. He brings out his lantern, summoning Aedon forth once more for the second time today, the bird appearing larger than usual using elemental energy to enhance it’s appearance. The knight’s jaw slackens in shock, just for a quick moment, before shielding himself with his arms–
Only for Aedon to pass right through the man. The Favonius warrior looks down to assess himself in shock, before yelping as Illuga rushes forward, kneeing him in the gut and incapacitating the man through restraining him against the ground.
“My name is Illuga. I am the squad leader of the Nightmare Orioles.” The tip of his polearm gets pointed at the man’s throat, and Illuga watches the knight’s breath hitch. “You will yield, so we may speak. I don’t want to hurt someone belonging to the faction that has helped us selflessly.”
There’s silence, and for a moment, Illuga is worried that the man will stand and begin to fight again, but instead he just blinks dumbly. Eventually, though, he speaks.
“I… am Lohen, the Vice Captain of the Knight’s of Favonius Fifth Company.” Lohen grabs the tip of Illuga’s polearm, using his finger to push the blade away. “You used that kuu-stuff.”
“I did.”
Illuga stands, dropping his weapon and offering a hand towards Lohen in a sign of peace. Lohen just stares at the palm as if it personally offended him.
“The Wild Hunt can’t do that.”
“You’re right, it cannot.”
Another moment passes. And then two. Lohen finally groans, covering his face in embarrassment with one palm while the other takes Illuga’s hand. Pulling the other captain to his feet, Illuga laughs good-naturedly, patting the other man on the back. “It’s good to be cautious,” Illuga offers, but Lohen’s misery only deepens.
“I’ve been sleeping in the squad leader’s quarters,” Lohen says, thoroughly humiliated. “And then the actual captain shows up, and what do I do? I try to kill him!”
Suddenly, Lohen sobers up, grasping both of Illuga’s hands in his own. “You fight good.”
“Thank you.” Illuga takes the compliment easily, looking back at the captain’s quarters. The door is creaking as it sways back and forth in the wind, and Illuga frowns. “May I ask what you were doing in my house?”
Lohen opens his mouth to answer, when his stomach growls, causing the vice-captain to flush a deep scarlet. Illuga blinks, and he can feel his own mental schedule rearrange itself.
- (NEW) (PRIORITIZE) Feed this guy.
“There should still be some vegetables around in our reserves. When we packed up, we didn’t take absolutely everything on the expectation that we were going to return soon, once the activity wasn’t as volatile and emotions weren’t running as high.” Illuga retrieves his hands, and finds himself tugging Lohen along into the squad leader quarters. “I’ll fix you some soup, and then you’ll eat and do the dishes while I bathe.”
Lohen nods, silent behind Illuga.
It turns out, the Knights of Favonius have hearty appetites. Moreso than people in Nod-Krai, and Illuga watches in astonishment and mild horror as Lohen polishes off his fifth bowl of soup.
“More, please.”
“You scare me, so no. I’m cutting you off.” Illuga informs him, grabbing the ladle and throwing it into the sink. Lohen lets out a cry of protest, before quieting down when the squad leader throws the vice captain a pointed look. “We haven’t talked at all. So talk. Why are you here?”
The knight has the decency to look sheepish, shying away and closing his mouth tight. “You first.”
“Excuse me?”
“Varka said that the Lightkeeper’s performed a retreat after activity became more volatile. You lot tend to move in groups, no? Why are you here alone?”
Illuga can feel his eye muscles spasm and twitch slightly from irritation. This guy is in Illuga’s quarters, eating Illuga’s food, in Illuga’s camp, and still… “I wasn’t aware people from Mondstadt were so demanding. I’m here to run an experiment.”
Lohen, noticing that Illuga hasn’t eaten from his own bowl yet, attempts to swipe at it. Illuga moves it to the side, and Lohen grunts before finally asking, “What experiment?”
The squad leader takes a moment to respond, firstly reminding himself that ‘I respect Grandmaster Varka no matter the company he chooses to take on,’ calling upon the steel backbone and self control he’s developed from having to deal with Sir Flins’ bullcrap. Surely, he dealt with fae on a near daily basis, he can deal with just one knight, right? Illuga himself would much prefer Flins to whatever the fuck this is, actually.
“You’ve noticed, but I have a thing for kuuhvakhi. The retreat happened because we lost one of our strongest fighters and the way the Wild Hunt was behaving was too… insane, so in order to avoid a senseless death, we decided to pull back for now. But I had a theory–”
“You lost one of your strongest fighters?”
Illuga continues. “Kuuhvakhi and the Abyss are naturally opposing forces, so I thought–”
“No, stop, go back.” Lohen frowns, gesturing with his spoon. “Now, if he passed away, I apologize for my insensitivity and I’m sorry for your loss. But… you phrased it as if…”
“He’s alive,” The geo-holder finally takes a spoonful of soup into his own mouth. “He’s fae, that’s why. I moved him to a different station to better utilize his power to properly contribute to the war against the Wild Hunt.”
The knight stares for a moment, and the ratnik stares back, frowning. Lohen slams his hands down, standing up suddenly, causing Illuga to jump as Lohen shrieks, “You had a fae on your team and you gave him away?! That’s so cool! Assuming he’s not a malicious fae, you had a strong entity on your team to spar whenever and you- give him to me, what the fuck?!”
“Absolutely not!” Illuga can feel his face heat up and his neck goes red underneath his shirt, and he sputters. “He- He’s his own person still, and he’s doing just fine, and I don’t think he’d go with you anyways since he joined the Lightkeeper’s for me-”
“You have a fae, ready and willing to join a war for you because it’s your obligation, and he joins your team, and you sent him away? Couldn’t you have just told him ‘no’?”
“I- what?”
Lohen looks absolutely heartbroken for Flins, and Illuga curses the fae’s uncanny ability to charm people, even when he’s not there. “This dude sounds like he’s really into you, and you seem fond of him too, right? Now, I’m no expert myself, but couldn’t you have just said ‘Now isn’t the right time, wait for me’? ‘I feel the same way, but we can’t do anything about it’?”
Aedon, grant him patience. The bird himself has left Illuga’s lantern, too, just to stare at this guy. Imagine Illuga actually said something like that, and Flins had gone, ‘oh, don’t mind if I do then young master,’ and stabbed Illuga through the heart? “What… What do you think is going on here exactly?”
The knight looks at Illuga like he’s dense.
“Doesn’t he have feelings for you? Don’t you have feelings for him?”
I can’t die here, Illuga thinks, feeling a little delirious. I promised not to die, didn’t I? Even if he really, really, really want to shrivel up and blow away like a leaf in the wind, all so he can avoid this conversation, Illuga bites his tongue and shakes his head in a no. “Lohen, he wants to cannibalize me. I don’t think that counts.”
“Both can mutually co-exist,” Lohen points out unhelpfully. “And that doesn’t answer anything about yourself. Do you like him?”
This is exactly what Illuga wanted to avoid. Stupid questions like these, that’s why he chose to do this alone. As the art of detachment states, it doesn’t quite work when you’re cornered and forced to think about your feelings. With most things already, it doesn’t work to just say, ‘oh, I’m busy right now, I’ll think about it later,’ because of how it could fester. But the thing is with feelings, you can avoid that shit just fine if you have something else to deal with. And Illuga, truly, does have more important shit to deal with.
Evidently, though, Lohen just doesn’t get it. He pokes at Illuga’s chest with the rounded part of his spoon, frowning. “Wouldn’t it be better for you to just tell him, if not to get it off of your mind? Having a definitive answer would allow you to focus better and stop agonizing over it, right?”
“I am leaving.”
He has things to do. He can’t afford to waste any more time on this. He’s not some teenaged, lovesick girl who has time to think about partnerships and potential fae lovers, he is the captain of the Investigation Team, the Nightmare Orioles. Illuga stands up from his chair, making a swift exit, leaving Lohen scrambling to get up and follow him.
To-do list. What did his to-do list say?
Feed Lohen.- Find a less-polluted area unobserved by the undying rat, and bring a Mandragora along.
- If needed, provide the Mandragora with some energy first.
- Use the Mandragora as a continuous source of power and attempt to infuse the ground (or something similar) with kuuhvakhi
- Don’t die in the process (IMPORTANT)
- IF the plan succeeds, use the purified area of land as a test experiment, performing a daily routine and checkup on it.
- IF the plan fails, regroup and feel sick for a day or two from the amount of energy you expend.
Almost all of Kipumaki Cliff has been overtaken by the energy, and so Illuga will have to do some scouting. And while he would like to say that he knows immediately because he knows the landscape like the back of his hand, he hadn’t particularly been paying attention to the contamination levels beforehand, because he hadn’t considered this new possibility.
Honestly, Lohen is the most absurd man Illuga has ever met, and that’s saying something, because Illuga has escorted a lot of ambitious and unprepared adventurers to safety in the past. Flins, liking him? That’s…
Entirely plausible.
Illuga groans, trying to shake the thought out of his skull. His brain has shrunk significantly since that conversation, so it rattles around, hitting every wall but never quite finding the exit. Unwillingly, he finds his resolve crumbling, and pauses just at the entrance to the cliffside.
Could he really allow himself that luxury? Maybe if the Moon Goddess returned and the Wild Hunt’s two brains were vanquished, but the idea of living a life with Flins– no! Illuga hits himself, trying to get it together, continuing to walk.
Flins is his friend, but Flins is fae. Those facts both coexist, as Lohen put it, and that’s as far as Illuga can go. Illuga is mortal, isn’t he? He can’t live as long as Flins, and eventually, Flins would outlive him, anyways. He pauses to scoop up a mandragora, feeding it a steady supply of kuuhvakhi, before returning to his path. He doesn’t know where he’s walking, or any idea if his theory would work, but…
Memories of the fae kissing each of Illuga’s fingers, having to ensure with his mouth that Illuga is whole in his hands, surfaces. The many times Flins’ fingers have brushed Illuga’s face and cradled him close, of Flins holding Illuga close if not to just look him in the eyes.
Bad, Illuga.
Of Illuga choosing to kiss Flins, even if for a fleeting moment, within his dreams where it is only him as the observer–
Bad!
“Wait up!”
Illuga jolts, turning to see Lohen running after him. He has a pack of random bullshit undoubtedly stolen from Illuga’s room, and Illuga makes a small face. “I’m not going to go very far. Today is to scout and maybe enact one of the phases of my plan.”
“I realized halfway through eating your soup I interrupted you telling me about this plan, so I wanted to apologize for that. And I wanted to apologize if I made you uncomfortable, Varka has told me I can be a little… intense.” Lohen laughs, although it seems more forced. “May I tag along?”
“You don’t even know what I’m going to be doing.”
“You’re going into tainted land. Do you know how many monsters are waiting here? Prime for bullying…”
Illuga’s eyes widen at that, and Lohen falters, sensing he’s made a misstep somewhere. The squad leader is staring, and Lohen stares back, a slow, nervous smile spreading on his face. “You’re telling me,” Illuga chokes out. “You stationed yourself in Cliffwatch Camp as a temporary base so you could box the monsters? For what, for fun?”
“Yes?”
Why is it that only insane men come to talk to him? Why is it that Illuga can’t meet someone normal for fucking once of his own volition, why is it always these sorts of people? For the second time, Illuga finds himself wishing it was Flins he was talking too, because at least he knows how to deal with Flins.
“Hey, where are you going?” Lohen says in hurried alarm at the pace Illuga is speedwalking at. “We’re going together, aren’t we? Wait up!”
He has better things to think about. All of these little things seem to matter so much to Illuga now, but they’ll be nothing in comparison to the bigger picture later.