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Yuki Makoto was an odd individual. It wasn’t hard to notice. Shinjiro had known the guy for all of a week and he could already tell. Not that he hadn’t expected it, S.E.E.S had a way of attracting weirdos, so of course the new leader that Akihiko praised so highly would be somewhat of an outsider himself. Still, Yuki was an oddball, even for them.
He didn’t seem to quite fit in with anyone outside of their little group, not really. If Yukari and Junpei weren’t around, Makoto was just… alone. Which, sad as it may seem to some, didn't seem to bother Makoto in the slightest. More power to him, as far as Shinjiro was concerned.
Makoto did fit in with S.E.E.S. Yukari and Junpei seemed to be his favorite people in the entire world, and Shinjiro was fairly confident the three would actually kill for each other. He clearly liked spending time with Fuuka, and he frequently worked with Mitsuru and Akihiko to understand concepts from class. He hung out with Ken whenever the boy looked lonely, and, despite his early attempt at distaste for the dog, he walked Koromaru whenever he could.
Makoto was also a solid leader. Shinjiro had originally been skeptical of Makoto’s qualifications to lead. He was only a second year, and a quiet, weird, vaguely traumatized one at that. Akihiko, Mitsuru, heck, even Shinjiro we’re all more experienced, wouldn’t one of them be more fit to lead?
Even if Shinjiro didn’t really understand why Aki and Mitsuru had decided to make a second year the leader, he had to admit that Yuki was good at it. He had a strategic mind, he was adequate with a sword, and versatile enough that most of the plans he put forth could be brought to fruition.
Despite how poor his grades were, Makoto clearly was smart. He was in multiple classes in the year above him, and he honestly seemed to understand the content more than Shinjiro himself did. Makoto studied semi-regularly, and actually liked reading, as far as Shinjiro could tell. He just, for whatever reason, chose not to really commit to school. Shinjiro didn’t know why, but that was a question for when he knew Yuki better.
One of the things that Shinjiro had noticed Makoto wasn’t good at was taking care of himself. Skipped meals that led to headaches and panic attacks weren’t uncommon, from what Shinjiro had heard from the others (and seen for himself), and Shinjiro frequently heard Yuki humming to himself in the middle of the night when he thought the others were all asleep (That was another thing Shinjiro wondered about. Why did Makoto seem more comfortable with his voice when he thought no one could hear? He was always too quiet for Shinijiro’s taste during the day). Yuki was frequently so tired he could barely function, going through the day like a zombie, talking as little as possible, and then still came home and thought leading the group into Tartarus was a good idea.
This was one such time.
——
“I’ll only take Koromaru and Aragaki-senpai tonight,” Yuki said at the foot of Tartarus. His eye bags were dark enough they looked like bruises in the Dark Hour’s half light, and he seemed distant, like his mind was somewhere else entirely. “It’s a shorter run tonight, so we should be fine with a couple fewer people.” He paused briefly, seemingly lost in thought, then turned to face his fellow second years. “Junpei and Yukari, I think we have a math test tomorrow, so you two should go back to the dorm and study. And yes, I am talking to you especially, Junpei.”
That made Yukari laugh, and she elbowed Junpei. “He called you out,” she joked, and Junpei rolled his eyes, mumbling a quick “fine,” before the two headed back towards the dorm together. Makoto wordlessly turned away from the rest of the group and started up the steps. Shinjiro followed.
——
The first few floors went fine. Makoto, Shinjiro, and the dog all stuck together. They tried not to linger too long on any floor, because while the group could handle a few low level Shadows, the Reaper was another story entirely.
Then Yuki decided splitting while he was clearly exhausted was a good plan.
At the beginning of their sixth floor, Yuki cast his usual glance around the area, analyzing their options. The path split off in two different directions from where they were, and Yuki peered down each before turning back to Shinjiro. “I’ll go right with Koro-chan. You take the left.”
“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Fuuka chimed in from the comms, a hint of apprehension in her voice. “You seem tired, Makoto-kun…”
“I’m alright to keep going for a while yet,” he replied, and Shinjiro had to stop himself from rolling his eyes at the blatant lie. He had heard Yuki up at two in the morning last night. The kid was not fantastic at sleeping when he was supposed to, and seemed to think his skill at napping in class made up for it. Not that Shinjiro could fault him for the napping part, school was boring as hell.
“I’m with Yamagishi,” Shinjiro chimed in. “I heard you moving around last night. You’re clearly pretty sleep deprived.”
“It’ll be fine,” Makoto insisted again. “I’ll have Koro-chan. He’ll help.”
The dog won’t be able to do much if you collapse, Shinjiro thought but didn’t voice. He sighed softly, and Fuuka made a quiet concerned sound. Yuki rolled his eyes. “If you’re sure,” Shinjiro relented, and ran off the hall to the left.
——
Makoto and Fuuka bantered quietly over the coms as they explored the floor. It was interesting to Shinjiro how much more talkative Yuki was around the others in his year. Not that he was particularly chatty now, either, he just seemed more… comfortable. With the sound of his own voice. With putting his thoughts out there.
In the class that Shinjiro shared with him, Makoto didn’t talk. At all. Unless directly spoken to by the teacher, he was just silent. He didn’t even really talk to Akihiko in that class, and Akihiko had said he was the same in his other third year classes too. The odd part was that Shinjiro heard he was actually fairly communicative in his second year classes. Shinjiro didn’t understand this kid at all.
He tuned in and out of the second years’ conversation as he explored (something about music? Yuki seemed fairly into it, so it was probably music), never really contributing much. After a while, the chat peetered out naturally, leaving each of them alone with their thoughts.
“I found the stairs,” Yuki called over the comms a few minutes later, voice soft. He even sounded exhausted, dammit. “Senpai, if you could make your way towards me, it would be great.”
“Got it,” Shinjiro replied. “Yamagishi, which way?”
He could hear Fuuka typing on the other end before she spoke, her voice tight. “Give me a minute, I’m having trouble getting a read on this floor.” Another pause, and more furious typing. “Just start by retracing your steps back to the stairs down, Aragaki-senpai. I’ll work on getting the map up.”
Shinjiro nodded, then realized she couldn’t see him. “Right,” he said, then started back along the hallway he’d come from. Without the second years’ chatter it was completely silent, almost uncomfortably so. The kind of silence that was uncomfortable not because it was awkward, but because it seemed lifeless. He could hear Fuuka’s keyboard, some Shadows nearby, and not much else.
After a few minutes, Shinjiro was back where he’d started, and Fuuka came back over the comms. “Still trying to bring the map up… ugh, what is up with this floor? Senpai, just start by heading to your-”
A soft thud came from over the comm line, and Shinjiro felt a prickle of unease in the back of his mind.
“What was that?” Yamagishi asked, the same unease in her voice.
Shinjiro shook his head, then once again realized no one could see him. He really hadn’t noticed how much he relied on nonverbal communication until they started exploring Tartarus. “Not from me,” he replied. “Yuki?”
No response. “Makoto-kun? Can you hear me?” Fuuka said, and again was met with no reply. Her keyboard started clicking again. “Senpai, his comm might be out. I need you to find him, preferably quickly. Head down the hall to your right to start.”
“Got it,” Shinjiro called back, and took off down the dimly lit hallway.
—
Shinjiro slowed to a stop at the first fork in his path. Dammit. Which way had Yuki gone?
Yamagishi swore softly, something Shinjiro wasn’t sure he’d ever heard her do. “I’m sorry, senpai, the map just isn’t coming up. I’ll keep trying.”
Shinjiro bit his lip. He didn’t like this. What had happened to Makoto? Could he have been ambushed by Shadows? Worse, the Reaper? Before he could fall any further down that metal spiral, a familiar sound broke him out of his thoughts. Koromaru’s bark.
“Koro-chan!” Fuuka exclaimed as the dog ran up to Shinjiro. “He was with Makoto-kun. Koro-chan, where is he?”
The dog barked again and looked up at Shinjiro before turning and taking off down the hall. Shinjiro followed.
He was led down one hallway after another, until they finally reached one that opened up into a dimly lit room. The staircase up was in the corner, and on his side at the bottom lay Yuki Makoto, pale as a sheet.
Shinjiro swore under his breath. “Found him,” he said to Fuuka, then tuned out everything she said in response as he quickly crossed the room to kneel next to his underclassman.
He gently flipped Yuki over. No visible wounds, as far as Shinjiro could tell. He pressed his hand to Yuki’s forehead. No fever either. That was good.
“Yuki,” Shinjiro said, his voice tight. “Can you hear me?”
The blue haired boy groaned softly, and his silvery eyes fluttered open. “…senpai?” He murmured.
“Yeah, it’s me.” Shinjiro answered, careful to keep his voice quiet in case Makoto had one of his headaches. “You good?”
“Why are we on the floor?”
Shinjiro snorted. Leave it to Yuki to completely disregard a question. “I think you passed, bud.”
“…oh,” Makoto replied eloquently.
“Yeah,” Shinjiro says again. “You feel all right?”
Makoto paused for a long moment, his greyish eyes still locked on Shinjiro. “…head hurts,” he responded eventually.
Shinjiro nodded. “Figures. Think you can walk?” He asked, casting a glance around the empty room. “We need to get out of here before the Reaper finds us.”
Another pause where Yuki sent his own cautious look around the room, looking almost like he was listening for the sounds of chains, and then hummed an affirmative. He slowly pushed himself up, swaying slightly. Shinjiro started to reach out to steady him, but stopped when Makoto flinched. Shinjiro silently vowed to ask him about that later. About when and where touch was okay, about why he reacted like that when he wasn’t expecting it. For now, it wasn’t important.
“Is everyone okay? Please, please respond,” Fuuka’s desperate voice came over the comms, and Shinjiro realized she’d been talking almost that whole time and he had completely tuned her out. “Aragaki-senpai? Makoto-kun? Can anyone hear me?”
“I can hear you,” Shinjiro finally responded. “Sorry about that. I’ve got Yuki.”
“Oh, thank god. You scared me,” she said , relieved.
“Is Fuuka-kun talking right now?” Makoto asked quietly.
“Yeah,” Shinjiro replied, turning his attention back to the boy. “Your earpiece busted?”
Makoto nodded. “I think it must be. I can’t hear her.”
“Heads up that Yuki can’t hear you, Yamagishi. His earpiece is broken,” Shinjiro called over the comms. “Is there an access point nearby? We need to get him down.”
“There should be one on the floor above you,” she said, and Shinjiro nodded.
“Gotta go up,” he relayed to Yuki, and the two made their way up the stairs, Shinjiro helping Yuki however he could without touching him.
——
Later, Shinjiro sat in one of the plush chairs in the Iwatodai dorm commons. Across from him was Yuki Makoto, seated on the couch and buried in what must have been every blanket in the building, Junpei and Yukari on either side. All three of the second years were fast asleep. Shinjiro watched them silently from his chair.
Earlier, when they’d gotten back from the entrance of Tartarus, Mitsuru had quickly checked Yuki (while touching him as little as possible), confirmed he was just exhausted, and given him several different kinds of painkillers for his head. She knew how bad his headaches could get. Shinjiro silently thanked her for at least waiting to lecture their underclassman on the dangers of not listening to your body until he didn’t feel awful. Fuuka had sighed with relief and called the other second years to tell them they would be back early. Shinjiro had just hovered around a small distance away, ready to step in and help if anyone needed it, but not sure how.
As soon as they had gotten back to the dorm, Junpei had forced Makoto to sit down on the couch and piled blankets onto him before sitting down at his side. Makoto sighed fondly and let himself settle into his friend’s warmth.
Yukari had come downstairs minutes later, intending to scold Junpei for giving up on studying so quickly, but stopped when he nodded towards the already - sleeping Makoto. She rolled her eyes silently and went to curl up on his other side.
It was odd, Shinjiro thought to himself, how comfortable those three were around each other. Or maybe it wasn’t and Shinjiro was the odd one. But they’d only met this year, hadn’t they?
He sighed to himself in the quiet, peaceful air of the dorm. Everyone else had already gone back to their rooms for the night, leaving only him and the trio in the commons space. There was still school tomorrow, and here he was, sitting on the couch at 2 AM instead of sleeping. He absently hoped Yuki wouldn’t even try to go to class tomorrow, and just stay and rest like he so clearly needed to.
He was broken out of his thoughts by a pair of silver eyes peering at him from the couch. Yuki was awake again. The poor guy still looked pretty pale and tired, but he at least seemed like his head wasn’t hurting him as much as it had been when they’d left the Tower earlier. “Hey,” Shinjiro greeted softly, keeping his voice low enough that it shouldn’t wake the others. “How are you doing?”
Yuki shrugged wordlessly, equally careful not to wake either of the second years at his sides, and Shinjiro waited to see if he would elaborate any more. “Kinda hungry,” Makoto eventually added. Shinjiro snorted, and the two lapsed into silence for a moment.
“Senpai?” Makoto quietly, almost hesitantly asked.
“Yeah?”
“Sorry. For everything. For wasting tonight’s run,” he says, and Shinjiro is surprised by the amount of genuine remorse in his voice for all the wrong reasons.
“You didn’t waste shit,” Shinjiro sighed. “But you need to be more careful. If something happens to you and we don’t have a leader, it’ll be real hard to get things done.”
Yuki nodded and looked down at his lap. “...It’s only, like, a week until the full moon. I just… I feel like something bad is going to happen. I wanted to be prepared. I need to get stronger.”
“Going into that hellhole when you aren’t at 100% isn’t going to accomplish anything, Yuki,” Shinjiro said, voice firm. He knew from experience. “Something bad always happens. Every month. But you always keep moving. Always. It’ll be fine, y’hear?”
Makoto nodded again, a little more confidently, and they stopped talking again for a minute.
“...senpai?” Yuki asked again.
“Yeah?”
“Thanks.”
Shinjiro smiled. “No problem.”