Chapter Text
When did it all go wrong? Why now? Felix stared at the plate of food in front of him, his stomach twisting as the lump in his throat grew. He felt so sick, so..afraid. Felix bit his lip slightly, scanning the table to see if anyone had noticed that he hadn't touched his food yet. Sure enough, Chan was eyeing him, his same worried expression Felix had seen countless times before.
"You alright, Lix?" Chan asked. He slurped up a few noodles before raising his eyes to meet Felix again.
Felix stiffened before smiling softly, "Yeah, just..just feel a bit under the weather is all," he lied, hoping none of the other members would join in on the worrying spree.
Chan's face seemed to soften slightly, seemingly relieved that Felix wasn't doing what he thought he was doing, "Ah. Make sure to drink some tea when we get home."
"Eat a little too, it'll help your immune system," Changbin chimed in, his mouth full of meat and noodles
Felix only nodded, turning his attention back to his food. He felt sickened at the sight of it. He stood up slowly, "I'm gonna go to the bathroom real quick,"
Chan and Hyunjin exchanged worried expressions as Felix walked out of sight, "I hope he's okay.."
Chan nodded, "It's pretty unusual for him to not even eat a bite of food at his favorite restaurant,"
Jeongin silently listened in of each of the members' remarks about Felix. He slurped his noodles, pondering on what had just happened. Should he check on Felix later that night? Maybe they could cuddle on the couch together to ease whatever was gnawing at Felix..
"Hey, Wheres Yongbok?" Han said, snapping Jeongin back into reality. Felix wasn't back yet? It had been over ten minutes..
"I'll go check on him," Jeongin stood up, setting his chopsticks down on his empty plate. He shuffled off towards the bathroom, an anxious feeling settling over him.
Felix stared at himself in the mirror, the corners of his eyes red, tearstains dried upon his cheeks. His stomach was truly empty now..Felix felt a little guilty, but it made him feel safe more than anything. He dabbed his mouth with a paper towel, splashing his face with a little water to attempt to wash away the scent of vomit. Felix washed his hands, drying them off before he heard the door creek open.
"Lixie..? You okay?" Jeongin walked into the bathroom, a worried expression on his face.
Felix hated seeing Jeongin like that. His eyes glassy, as if he were about to cry. It absolutely tore Felix apart, "Yeah I'm okay, just had an upset tummy," Felix smiled softly, opening his arms for a hug.
Jeongin rested his head on Felix's shoulder, wrapping his arms around Felix, "Okay..we're getting ready to leave, so lets catch up with the others,"
Felix nodded, smiling once again at Jeongin. Jeongin's face seemed to look a little less anxious, and that put Felix at ease. He hated when he worried his members, especially Jeongin. When he worried Jeongin, it felt like his whole world was shattering before him..Felix would make sure to stay as secretive as possible so Jeongin wouldn't have those glassy eyes again.
The dorm boomed with life the moment the door was opened. Laughter emulating from Han and Changbin, silly arguments from Seungmin and Hyunjin, Chan and Lee know talking amongst themselves, and Jeongin smiling and giggling with Felix.
Chan clapped, silencing everyone, "Alright, tomorrow is a big day. Get some rest. You all did great today," he smiled before gesturing for everyone to move to the bathrooms to get ready for bed.
Conversations picked up again while faces were being washed, and teeth were being brushed.
Felix sat on the couch, waiting for everyone to be out before he went in. Jeongin shuffled out of the bathroom to meet Felix, "You sure you're okay?" he asked, a clear tone of worry in his voice.
Felix nodded, smiling softly, "Yep, I'm alright," he opened his phone to scroll for a while, trying to avoid any confrontation about dinner since he didn't eat anything.
"But, you didn't eat anything.." Jeongin snuggled up beside Felix, peaking at his phone.
Felix tensed up for a moment, "My tummy hasn't been feeling well lately,"
Jeongin made a worried purring sound, "Want me to make you some tea? It might help," he noticed Felix had clicked onto a pin that seemed to be about weight loss.
"Um, sure. Green tea?" Felix requested, clicking off of the pin after saving it to his board.
Jeongin nodded, standing and moving to the kitchen.
"Good night Yongbok," Seungmin waved slightly before disappearing into his room, along with Chan, who also wished Felix a good night.
After a while, Hyunjin, Han and Minho also appeared in the bathroom walkway, "Good night Felix," Hyunjin smiled.
Han and Minho said good night as well, before dragging Changbin to his room, laughter flooding out of both him and Han.
Jeongin appeared in front of Felix, a warm mug resting in his hands, "Here you go, jagiya," he smiled while handing the mug to Felix.
Felix smiled, "Thanks. You should go to sleep now. I'll be in there after I get ready for bed," Felix urged, sipping on the tea.
Jeongin made a pouty sound before standing up again, "Okay..get ready quickly.." he whined softly before hugging Felix and walking away to the room.
After Felix heard the door click shut, he brought the mug to the kitchen, and dumped its contents in the sink. He made his way to the bathroom, closing and locking the door. Felix turned the shower on, as well as the bathroom fan to make as much noise as possible. He stared in the mirror, his stomach beginning to knot again. Why did he look so ugly all of a sudden? His tummy stuck out like a pregnant woman...and his cheeks just looked chubby. Not the cute kind, like Han, just..chubby. Tears began forming in his eyes as the bathroom began to feel like a steam room. Felix bent down in front of the toilet. He thought he was over this. But he couldin't help it. It made Felix feel secure.
Jeongin set down his phone, sitting up. Felix should've been done by now. He listened closer, picking up the running water of the shower. He sighed before laying back down. He was worried over nothing. Felix wouldn't go back there, right? No, he wouldn't. Jeongin knew he wouldn't.
Felix turned the water off, drying his hair with a towel. He turned the sink on to splash his face in an attempt to wash away the redness around his eyes. He opened the door to the bedroom, seeing Jeongin fast asleep already. Good. Felix quietly slid into bed, pulling the covers over himself.
After a few moments of scrolling on his phone, Felix felt the warm body of Jeongin latch onto him. Felix turned his phone off, turning over to snuggle Jeongin. He stared at his sleeping foxlike member. Felix's smile faded as the reality set in. He was lying to his members, keeping secrets. He was falling back into that rabbit hole he tried so hard to climb out of. Felix's eyes filled with tears as he silently cried throughout the night.