Work Text:
KARKAT: DAVE?
DAVE: huh
DAVE: what
Karkat can see a duvet moving in the dark.
KARKAT: CAN I SLEEP IN HERE?
DAVE: what why
KARKAT: …
KARKAT: FORGET IT.
Karkat is about to shut the door when Dave sits up in bed and beckons him back.
DAVE: no come here
DAVE: its chill
DAVE: did you have a nightmare
Karkat sighs and nods, and Dave pats the bed next to him. He walks over to the bed, but doesn’t sit down.
KARKAT: A REAL FUCKED UP ONE TOO.
KARKAT: IT’S FUCKING EMBARRASSING, AND YOU’RE KIND OF THE ONLY ONE WHO UNDERSTANDS?
DAVE: the others would be sympathetic bro
DAVE: they like you too
DAVE: also sit down man youre stressing me out
Dave pulls Karkat by the sleeve of his pajamas and Karkat sits down on the bed with his feet crossed.
KARKAT: SURE. BUT THEY DON’T *GET IT* LIKE YOU DO.
DAVE: i guess
DAVE: its not like the others have frequent nightmares about-
DAVE: uh yeah
DAVE: …
Karkat puts a hand on Dave’s to alert him. It happens sometimes that he spaces out when thinking about this stuff, and Karkat can’t blame him. He hasn’t told him much about his past - just some anecdotes here and there - but he knows his guardian messed him up, and he knows Dave only fully realized a few months ago how fucked it all was.
DAVE: yeah
They sit in silence for a moment before Kakat fails to stifle a yawn.
DAVE: lets get back to bed
DAVE: im not even gonna consult my perfect internal clock to find out how late it is but im gonna guess *very*
Karkat nods, hops back off the bed, and starts trying to get comfortable on the floor. Dave watches him for a little while, looking almost offended. His face is actually very emotive without the glasses covering so much of it.
DAVE: really
KARKAT: I DON’T WANT TO INTRUDE-
DAVE: id feel crazy guilty if i let you sleep on the floor after having a nightmare bro
DAVE: you can sleep in my bed its cool
KARKAT: …
KARKAT: THANKS.
He picks himself off the ground and gets in. Dave scoots over to one side to make room. Dave flashes him a tired smile before he turns away and lays down.
DAVE: good night bro
KARKAT: GOOD NIGHT DAVE.
Karkat tries to go to sleep, he really does. It’s just hard to calm down when he’s right next to Dave. Sure, they’re friends - maybe even each other's best friend on the meteor - but lately Karkat has had different feelings bubbling up.
It shouldn’t be embarrassing to have a crush. Karkat is a full seven sweeps, he’s not a wriggler anymore. The problem is he doesn’t really understand which quadrant he’s actually crushing on Dave in. He has all these feelings but they seem to vacillate immensely - or maybe kind of layer on top of each other?
It should be simple. Dave annoys Karkat for the love of the game, and Karkat takes the bait every single time. Earlier this very week, Karkat was trying to make a diagram - don’t ask, it’s dumb in hindsight - and Dave decided to literally grab Karkat’s hand and force him to draw dicks instead. It’s a classic case of kismesissitude.
Except that among those pitch feelings, Karkat felt distinctly pale feelings bubbling up right with them. The warmth of Dave’s hand on his own gave him a mental image he couldn’t shake for hours; just holding Dave’s hand. Holding his hand like they’d known each other all their lives.
Laying next to Dave right now, having been taken in after a nightmare, smelling his scent and feeling himself calm down - that’s as pale as it can get.
The worst feelings are the red ones. Daydreaming about Dave ruffling Karkat’s hair; imagining what it might feel like to hold Dave in his arms; getting so flustered thinking about kissing Dave that he feels the need to hide his tomato-red face.
Karkat shoves his face into the pillow in mild frustration, and is more surprised than he should be when it smells of Dave. It’s such a relaxing scent.
DAVE: yo are you awake
KARKAT: YEAH.
DAVE: cool
DAVE: me too
KARKAT: I FIGURED SINCE YOU ASKED ME.
DAVE: right
It’s quiet for a moment before Dave turns to lie on his back. He doesn’t look at Karkat, his eyes are bolted to a spot on the ceiling. Karkat is on his stomach trying to decide how long he can look at Dave at a time before it starts being weird.
DAVE: you totally dont have to talk about it if you dont wanna
DAVE: like id feel terrible if you felt like you needed to bare your soul to me but you werent actually comfortable with that you know
DAVE: what do you have nightmares about
DAVE: theyve been pretty frequent lately are you okay
Karkat sighs and feels a knot form in his stomach.
KARKAT: FUCK. WELL.
KARKAT: IT’S USUALLY ME STUCK ON VARIOUS PARTS OF THE METEOR ALONE AND THEN I START HEARING FUCKING HONKING.
DAVE: oh fuck
DAVE: that whole thing
KARKAT: «THAT WHOLE THING» CERTAINLY IS ONE WAY TO PUT IT.
DAVE: shit sorry i didnt mean to downplay-
KARKAT: IT’S FINE, REALLY. WHAT THE FUCK IS ONE SUPPOSED TO CALL THAT WHOLE ORDEAL ANYWAY?
KARKAT: «THAT ONE TIME I FAILED MY MOIRAIL AND HE FUCKING KILLED TWO OF OUR FRIENDS AND TRIED TO KILL THE REST OF US TOO» IS A LITTLE LONG WINDED.
He shrugs, and Dave finally cocks his head to look at him. In the dim light his eyes look almost black. His brows are furrowed into a worried expression, they look like two caterpillars trying to reach something up high.
DAVE: you cant still be blaming yourself
KARKAT: …
DAVE: it had nothing to do with you dude
DAVE: you did all you could do the man was just a ticking time bomb
Dave shifts to his side to face Karkat, and after his heart is done skipping beats, Karkat turns to face Dave too. Their arms lie limp between them, almost touching.
KARKAT: THANKS AGAIN FOR LETTING ME SLEEP IN HERE.
DAVE: no worries man i want you to feel safe
KARKAT: I WISH I COULD HELP YOU FEEL SAFE TOO.
DAVE: you already do
DAVE: i feel like i can let my guard down around you
Karkat just stares for a few seconds. Dave feels safe around Karkat. The most hypervigilant person in the world can let his guard down around Karkat. If the feelings were complicated before, he needs a new word for whatever these feelings are.
Dave slides his hand closer to Karkat’s, and when their hands finally touch, Karkat hooks his pinkie around Dave’s almost automatically.
DAVE: thanks for letting me just be myself
KARKAT: OF COURSE. I LOVE WHO YOU ARE-
Karkat stutters for a moment before he lets out a nervous fake laugh.
KARKAT: NOT THAT I *LOVE* YOU-
KARKAT: ALSO NOT THAT I *DON’T*, OBVIOUSLY, UH…
DAVE: yo dude calm down
KARKAT: …
KARKAT: I DIDN’T MEAN…
DAVE: dawg im practically mayor of putting my foot in my mouth
DAVE: its a commune near can town where we say shit we didnt mean to say all damn day long
DAVE: you can start over if you want
KARKAT: I DON’T KNOW.
KARKAT: I KIND OF MEANT IT. THE PART ABOUT LOVING YOU, THAT IS.
DAVE: aw i love you too bro
Karkat looks away. Is he going to… Should he… Yeah, it’s actually fucking stupid to keep all of this in, Dave deserves the truth.
KARKAT: I MEAN LIKE…
KARKAT: I HAVE A PRETTY HEFTY CRUSH ON YOU.
DAVE: oh shit
KARKAT: I’M SORRY, I UNDERSTAND IF YOU DON’T FEEL COMFORTABLE AROUND ME ANYMORE-
DAVE: dude
KARKAT: I CAN LEAVE-
DAVE: breathe
Karkat lets go of Dave’s hand in embarrassment, but when he pulls away, Dave is still holding his hand. Karkat looks up at Dave, and now it’s his turn to look flustered.
DAVE: i dont think i really understand what i feel
DAVE: but i like you a lot
DAVE: its kinda weird for me because im like *also* figuring out if im gay or not
DAVE: which i guess maybe i am? at least partly
DAVE: man i dont know
DAVE: like youre great and sometimes you make my heart beat faster when i see you in the morning and all
DAVE: but also troll romance is just
DAVE: too alien for me
DAVE: i couldnt do that but i also dont want to divorce you from your culture so im kind of at an impasse vis a vis operation karkat
Karkat takes a moment to think. What if he- The thought of saying it out loud might be even more nerve wracking that confessing to his crush was. He clears his throat before he speaks, trying to get the words out easier.
KARKAT: SEE THAT’S THE THING, RIGHT…
KARKAT: I’VE KIND OF BEEN CRUSHING ON YOU IN ALL QUADRANTS? AND I’M NOT JUST VACILLATING EITHER, OR AT LEAST I’M PRETTY SURE I’M NOT?
KARKAT: I THINK I WANT YOU IN ALL MY QUADRANTS.
Karkat feels a wave of nausea after finally saying it out loud. He knows Dave doesn’t have the cultural context to understand how insane Karkat sounds right now, which might as well be for the best. Dave’s face is completely frozen while he processes.
DAVE: so like
DAVE: you effectively want a human relationship
KARKAT: I THINK SO, YEAH.
DAVE: do you
DAVE: do you want to go on a date
KARKAT: WHAT?
DAVE: a date
DAVE: you know
DAVE: dinner and a movie and a walk on the beach
DAVE: or probably not that last one since were hurling through space on a fucking rock but you get the gist
Karkat takes Dave’s hand fully in his own and pulls it close to his chest.
KARKAT: I’D LIKE THAT.
It takes some time to feel calm enough to go back to bed, but eventually Karkat turns away from Dave and tries to fall asleep. He’s surprised to feel Dave hug him from behind, just for a second or two, before he turns back away to sleep. Karkat can feel his blood pusher working overtime for a few seconds before Dave speaks again.
DAVE: good night karkat
KARKAT: GOOD NIGHT DAVE.