Work Text:
Welcome to perfect hell/heaven [Flirty Impact the group chat].
I, as the narrator, as my rabbit ears hop up and down despite being caged by the brim of my black top hat, and rush over to you, say, that there will be a classic play on the roleplay stage in Flirty Impact, and I oversee the narrations and the rehearsals with another director [... actually I forgot. Oh wait, it's Dab]. By classic, I mean, ROMEO AND JULIET. Except I offered 1 Yen [I'm really actually very very very rich but my mother only allowed to do that 1 Yen because she can be afraid when it comes to online transactions like ingame purchases] and the props are made from this 1 Yen. I pull you by the arm, and RUN OFF AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT to the roleplay stage in the sooty gray [or snowy white] [do you get the snowy white] [one of our actors is called snow] land of the Discord server.
We have a lot in this perfect hell/heaven [I won't specify i said it at the start and title and you should have PAID ATTENTION], like the polite person named Erynth...and...my lady named Bl4z3, and...uh... actually I don't know how to say it. Nira, Kiki, Saratchi, whoever the hell else as some of the server housecats, another person who is named Hanna also owns them, and there's the ragebaiters. Namely Yash and Hyelx, I could say. I guess. And those who go on excursion, Mist and Dina. Speaking of which, it's been a million years since I've seen Dina... oh well. I'll ask her where she's gone, and hope for cool adventure stories. Anyway.
Look at the time! I've told you so much, now hurry, I have to see the rehearsal! You can help too [But I don't know what role to put you], if you want. We make it to the roleplay stage on time, at around...uhm...uh...six fifty nine. Everyone will arrive at seven o clock, and the only ones here are Snow and Hyelx. I think. Speaking of which, where the hell are they!? Okay, go sit on that bench whilst the other actors arrive, like Hanna, and Nira, and Kiki... anyways I hear weird noises from that door over there. I'm gonna go over to it now. So, I yell at the top of my lungs, to alert anyone behind the door.
"I'M ENTERING. I'M ENTERING THE ROOM YOUR IN. FBI OPEN UP-"
I bash the door open with sheer force, and sheer force alone like an entity of the Backrooms [Broseph Stalin i literally control the backrooms what do you expect] and what do I see?
HYELX AND SNOW DOING SLOPPY MAKING OUT AND DEVILS TANGO. 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔😔😔😔😔😒😭😀😀
And then they turn...
And they look at me.
And I look at them. [like brotosynthesis r u serious brother bretheren bro 💔💔💔💔😔😔😔😔😒😭😀 i caught bretheren lacking]
And they look at me.
And I look at them.
And they look at me.
AND I LOOK AT THEM.
So you sit back! Relax! Enjoy this healthy dose of:
PROLONGED EYE CONTACT.
"Prolonged eye contact!"
PROLONGED EYE CONTACT.
"Prolonged eye contact!"
"prolonged eye contact."
Hanna then appears. And despite her Capitano helmet she stares through it at Hyelx and Snow, with me. As they stare sheepishly back. And its all so uncomfortable for 10000 years until someone else enters in full battle gear even tho shes not in the play cause she off on expedition [It's Mist] and she goes "OMG YAOI????????"
And soon, after everyone appears, we do the play rehearsal. And when we come to the kissy kissy fall in love part Snow as Juliet and Hyelx as Romeo kiss. And guess who tops? JULIET. BECAUSE WE LOVE FEMDOM!!!!!!!!!! AND THEY FALL INTO EPIC SUPER EPIC LEGENDARY MYSTIC BEAST ANCIENT [does anyone get the ref] MAKING OUT ON STAGE. Me and Dab had to pull them apart like how their parents do in the play so that they stop making out every 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[if u dont get it its crk rarity ref]
Anyway, we then did the famous balcony scene and Snow almost falls off of the balcony and Hyelx catches him and they stare at eachother and I know it's over and theyre gonna start making out so I told them "GET BACK TO THE BALCONY SNOW" and he obeys but with very grim tragedy sad sad sad sad wah wah wah expression as tears bubble in his eyes and threaten to spill over when im even surprised that its not spilling over when it literally looks like sodium bicarbonate + acetic acid bubbling eruption.
Anyways then we come to the scene where Snow pretends to kill himself with drugs [wait. its bile juice cuz Snow hates it] and I wait for a million years as the scene plays out as I continue drawing Varka with missing textures on his arms and one of his two legs bc it was inspired after I got off the infected apartment floor and got a missing texture on my leg and both my arms when i was playing regretevator [bc genshin details and having to color the missing texture checker pattern] and after a million years im finally done as i come to the scene when Romeo [Hyelx] buys a poison from the doctor and drinks it but then he faints and for some reason i have a feeling it wasnt acting and then Snow wakes up to find Hyelx next to him and then takes the dagger and stabs himself but he screams in agony and that was a very very real scream of agony bc i see blood and he panics and then faints. And then I realize. Damn. They died. Those were real props.
Well the play still continues bc me Hanna Saratchi Nira hold hands and chant ritual and they come back to life and we still have the actual play and make sure that those were fake props.
I hope you watched this with growing horror and said growing horror consumed you whole mentally [no vore i hate vore bro]. Thank you for watching!