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The thermostat war started, as most disasters did, with Kai.
“It is freezing in here,” he announced dramatically, standing in the middle of the monastery common room like a man personally betrayed by air itself.
“It is 72 degrees,” Zane replied from the couch without looking up. “A statistically comfortable temperature for humans.”
Kai pointed at him. “You don’t count. You’re basically a walking refrigerator.”
“I am not—”
“You literally have ice powers.”
“That is not the same—”
“It feels the same!”
From the kitchen, Cole leaned over the counter, chewing something. “I’m with Kai. It’s cold.”
Zane finally looked up, visibly betrayed. “Cole, your internal body temperature runs higher due to your elemental alignment. Your agreement is biased.”
“Or,” Cole said, grabbing another snack, “you’re wrong.”
Jay was sprawled upside down on the armchair, scrolling through his phone. “I think it’s perfect. If anything, maybe slightly warm. Like, I’m borderline sweating. But not in a cool way.”
Kai spun toward him. “Warm? Warm? Jay, I can see my breath!”
“No you can’t.”
Kai paused. “…Emotionally, I can.”
From the far side of the room, Lloyd rubbed his temples. “Can we not do this today? Please? Just—one day without arguing.”
There was a brief, peaceful silence.
Then Kai marched over and turned the thermostat up.
A small, innocent beep echoed through the room.
Zane’s head snapped up with the speed of a startled hawk. “You did not just increase the temperature.”
“I absolutely did.”
Zane stood. Slowly. Calmly. Dangerously. “Return it to its previous setting.”
Kai crossed his arms. “Make me.”
Jay sat up instantly. “Oh, this just got interesting.”
Cole grabbed a chair and turned it around to sit on it backwards. “I’m getting snacks. This is gonna last a while.”
Lloyd stepped between them. “Guys. Guys. It’s a thermostat. We are highly trained ninja. We fight evil. We save—”
Beep.
Everyone froze.
Kai blinked. “Did… did you just turn it back down?”
Zane lowered his hand from the thermostat. “Yes.”
Kai slowly turned his head.
Then, without breaking eye contact, he reached over…
Beep.
Zane immediately hit it again.
Beep.
Kai.
Beep.
Zane.
Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.
“STOP TOUCHING IT!” Lloyd shouted.
They did not stop touching it.
Within minutes, it escalated.
“Okay, new rule,” Jay said, now fully invested. “No hands. Only strategy.”
“What does that even mean?” Lloyd demanded.
It meant sabotage.
Zane set the thermostat to 68 and stood guard in front of it like a silent sentinel.
Kai disappeared.
“Where’d he go?” Cole asked, mouth full.
Zane narrowed his eyes. “I do not know. But I do not trust it.”
From somewhere down the hall, a faint clank echoed.
Jay grinned. “Oh, he’s planning something. I love when he plans things. It always ends well.”
“It never ends well,” Lloyd said.
Moments later, Kai reappeared… dragging a space heater.
“No,” Lloyd said immediately.
“Oh yes,” Kai said, plugging it in. “If I can’t change the thermostat, I’ll change my environment.”
The heater whirred to life.
Within seconds, the air around Kai shimmered like a desert mirage.
Cole leaned back. “Okay, that actually looks nice.”
Zane stepped forward. “Localized heating creates imbalance in shared spaces.”
“Localized comfort,” Kai corrected.
Jay scooted his chair closer to the heater. “I’m switching teams.”
"Turn it OFF" Zane ordered.
Kai for once listened, but started a small fire instead.
Zane, clearly done, walked out of the room.
“There,” Kai said smugly. “Victory.”
Lloyd sighed. “You didn’t win. You just made Zane leave.”
A beat.
Then the air conditioning roared to life.
Stronger. Colder. Aggressive.
Everyone looked up.
Zane stood in the doorway, holding a remote.
“You forget,” he said calmly, “I have access to the advanced system controls.”
A blast of icy air swept through the room.
Kai’s hair literally fluttered.
Jay screamed. “WHY IS IT ARCTIC?!”
Cole grabbed a blanket from nowhere. “RETREAT!”
Kai lunged for the thermostat. It beeped wildly as he mashed buttons.
Zane adjusted the remote.
The heater blasted.
The AC blasted harder.
The room became a warzone of temperature.
Hot. Cold. Hot. Cold.
Jay wrapped himself in three blankets. “I CAN FEEL BOTH SEASONS AT ONCE!”
Lloyd stood in the center, completely overwhelmed. “THIS IS NOT HOW TEMPERATURE WORKS!”
“IT IS NOW!” Kai shouted.
Zane remained perfectly composed. “I can continue indefinitely.”
“Oh yeah?” Kai said. “So can I!”
“You will overheat.”
“You will freeze!”
Cole, buried in blankets, raised a hand. “I’m starting to regret picking a side.”
The system beeped. Flickered.
Then—
Everything shut off.
Silence.
The heater died.
The AC stopped.
The lights flickered once… then went out.
Darkness.
A long pause.
Jay’s voice echoed softly, “...Did we just break the monastery?”
From somewhere in the shadows, Wu’s voice drifted in:
“What… did you do?”
No one spoke.
Kai pointed at Zane.
Zane pointed at Kai.
Cole pointed at both of them.
Jay pointed at the ceiling.
Lloyd just slowly sat down on the floor.
“I asked,” Wu said, stepping into the room, “for one day of peace.”
Another pause.
“…Technically,” Jay whispered, “it’s very peaceful now.”
Wu closed his eyes.
“…No one touch anything.”
Five seconds later—
Beep.
“KAI!”
“I JUST WANTED TO SEE IF IT STILL WORKED—”
Nya just stood there laughing.