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Shepard had never suspected that intimacy might be predicated on forgetfulness.
But as she flinched away from him and scrunched the sheets against her bare chest and stomach, she realized that she was terrified of being in the spotlight of his perfect memory - especially like this. How was she supposed to act when he would remember every embarrassing detail about her for the rest of his life? Would he notice? Would it make a difference? She briefly wondered if those long-neglected pamphlets from Mordin had anything to say about it.
As soon as she had moved, Thane’s tongue had ceased whatever it had been doing.
“Did I hurt you?” he asked, his voice coming from somewhere near her left hip. When she didn’t answer, he propped himself up an on elbow and looked at her, concern swirling in his bottomless dark eyes.
“No! You’re fine. I’m fine.” A thought occurred to her. “Hang on a minute.”
Her arm shot out of the bed and swatted at the dial that controlled the lights of the cabin. Seconds later, they were submerged in darkness. She bit her lip, waiting to see what he would do. You’re too old to be so shy, she hissed at herself internally.
“Siha,” Thane said slowly, a little humorously, his breath tickling her skin, “I would understand if you couldn’t bear to look at a creature like me.”
“No! You’re… beautiful.” It was the truth, which only compounded her panic. “It’s just—”
“But you know that my eyes can detect what humans refer to as infrared radiation.”
Of course. She gave off heat, which meant that he could see her just as easily in the dark as in the light. She pressed a fist to her forehead as her cheeks burned even more. Naturally, he’d be able to see that too.
She felt his weight shift as he crawled up the bed.“Are you alright?” He settled close to her, but without touching her. “Do you want me to leave?”
“Stay,” she said in a small voice, only answering the second question.
Without a word, he eased his arms around her shoulders. His skin was always a little cooler than hers. It had startled her the first time she held his hands, but now it was the most soothing feeling that she could ask for.
She rubbed her forehead against his chest. She knew that he could see her for the writhing mess of warmth that she was. All she could see of him was the faint iridescence of a few scales, lit by the glow of her own scars.
I love you, is what she wanted to say. Maybe in another life, she would have said it. But she was silent, swearing to keep them both alive long enough to say it another day.