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Highway run, into the midnight sun. Wheels go round and round, you're on my mind.
The car engine thundered and roared, making sleep impossible. Not that he could have slept, or that he would have wanted to either. No. He had to stay awake.
Clover was still driving, and he had never thought that was a good idea but hadn't had the strength to question it at the time. Could she even legally drive?
Not that it mattered to him. As long as she followed the tire marks left behind by Aoi and Akane's own truck, he didn't care who drove. Sooner or later, they'd catch up with them. Sooner or later, the Kurashiki's would have to stop for gas or food. They couldn't run forever.
He did not know exactly what he would say when they did catch up, however. There was so much he wanted to say, but none of it could be put into words. An idealist part of him wanted to believe words would not be necessary-that all it would take is for his eyes to meet with Kanny's and all else would be forgotten.
Forgiven.
Restless hearts, sleep alone tonight. Sending all my love along the wire.
They'd pulled over once they knew for sure the trail had been lost.
"I knew they'd follow," Aoi muttered to no one in particular.
Akane had not spoken since they'd left the building. She hadn't moved either. Aoi had taken his eyes off the sand in front of them countless times just to make sure she was really there, they'd really succeeded and she was really breathing and alive and beside him.
"Looks like we lost them," he said, reaching out to touch his hand to her cheek.
It was damp with tears.
"Akane-" he started, but she pulled away.
"Don't," she murmured. "Please, Aoi, don't."
A pang of guilt sored in his chest. Had he even asked her if she wanted to say goodbye to the others? No, he'd just whisked her away ahead of them. He'd let his paranoia get in the way of what she wanted.
"We can find them," he said quickly. "They headed that way." He pointed in the opposite direction. "It'll take maybe thirty minutes to catch up." He revved the engine to illustrate his point, while forcing a shaky smile.
She burst out crying at this. "I can't hear him," she sobbed. "I keep reaching out, to tell him that I'm sorry and that I love him, but he can't hear me and I can't hear him." She looked up, face streaked with tears of regret. "Why can't I hear him?"
Aoi bit his lip. Akane knew why Junpei couldn't hear her-she was the mastermind, after all. But that didn't make it easier to deal with.
They say that the road ain't no place to start a family. Right down the line it's been you and me. And loving a music man ain't always what it's supposed to be. Oh, but you stand by me.
She woke up, his name on her lips.
She was surprised she'd slept at all, considering how raw it all still felt. Still, she supposed she'd tired herself out crying.
She was curled in the back seat, Aoi's jacket draped over her shoulders as a blanket. Wearily, she forced herself to sit up, yawning as she stretched out.
Then she noticed she was alone in the car. Which made sense, since it wasn't moving. For a split second, her heart leapt in fear.
Had something happened to Aoi? Had Hongoru somehow gotten free from the others and come looking for her? Was she going to die?
A small wave of relief passed over her when she noticed the keys were still in the ignition. And, when she looked out the rear view window into the darkness, she saw they'd parked outside a small 24-hour convenience store in a nearby town.
Aoi had probably stopped for gas, for snacks. Out of consideration, he'd neglected to wake her, probably deciding she needed her sleep.
Out of consideration, he'd also offered to go back for the others so many times she'd lost count. It was an ideal plan, really. They'd all get their answers, and she'd get a moment with Junpei.
Except she didn't think she was ready for one. She didn't think she deserved one, either. No. She'd taken too much of his time already. He needed to move on with his life, without her.
But there was another reason she didn't want to see him again, one she couldn't force herself to admit to her brother: if they caught up, she knew she wouldn't be able to stop him coming with her.
And then what? They'd spend their lives on the run? Hiding and hoping never to be found? Constantly moving, never being able to settle down and have a family…what kind of life was that?
She deserved it, because she was the one who had done unthinkable things. But not Junpei. He was so innocent, so trusting, so naïve. So sweet and kind and decent and good .
But he would also serve as a constant reminder of the pain she'd caused, of the agony she'd inflicted to selfishly save herself. As long as she was with him, she would never be sure that the love he'd felt for her in that incinerator had been as real as she'd needed it to be. How could she know for sure that he loved her, if she was unable to separate his feelings from hers?
Wondering where I am, I'm lost without you. And being apart ain't easy on this love affair.
Against Junpei's better judgement, they'd stopped at a motel for the night in the closest town they could find.
"We have to keep going," he'd pleaded, but he was quickly outvoted.
"I think we all deserve a rest after all we've been through," Lotus said melodramatically, and Junpei resisted the urge to yell that she'd been the one who'd slept the whole drive.
"Get some sleep," Snake-or Light, as he had assured Junpei could call him, now they were safe-said, clasping his shoulder and giving it a gentle squeeze before going off with Clover towards one of the rooms.
Although both Snake and Seven had been opposed, Junpei had chosen to sleep in the backseat of the car while the others rented motel rooms with the money found stashed in the glove compartment. He did so for a number of reasons:
He doubted he would sleep regardless of where he lay.
A motel room would require sharing both a bed and space, something he was certainly not in the mood for.
While the others saw spending Aoi and Akane's money as barely-scratching-the-surface-in-compensation for their 'ordeal'… he felt guilty. The Kurashiki's were on the run, staying God knows where tonight…it didn't feel justified that he should spend their money for his own benefit, even if it had been left behind for that exact purpose.
He wanted to keep an eye on Ace, to make sure the bastard didn't try to run away or something.
And, perhaps most of all, he thought if he were alone for long enough in silence….maybe she'd speak to him.
He took some comfort in knowing that maybe, wherever she was tonight, just maybe she too was curled up in the back of a car, thinking about him.
After Ace's mumbled protests changed to soft snores, Junpei slipped out of the car. He passed the others' rooms, and all the lights were out. He felt bitter, for just a second. How could they sleep, while he was sick with worry?
But then they hadn't known Kanny. Hadn't loved her. Hadn't saved her.
And that last thought made him almost snort. Because he didn't feel like a hero, at least not now the adrenaline had stopped pulsing through his veins and he could no longer hear her whisper his name like a prayer.
Maybe he'd set her free, but at what cost? To spend her life in fear, running away? What use was a life if she didn't get to live it?
Up ahead, he could see the lights of a convenience store. He had some change rattling in his pockets, change given to him by Seven when he'd paid for their rooms. Maybe he could find a payphone.
And call who? He didn't know if Aoi and Akane even had a cell phone with them, let alone the number. Maybe he could call his parents, tell them everything that had happened…not like they'd believe him. Maybe he could call the police, tell them he needed to find somebody…but leave out the parts about the dead bodies?
Before he knew what had happened, he was standing in front of the 24-hour store door. He didn't even realise he was crying until he buried his head in his hands and felt damp.
He slumped to the ground, leaning against the cold wall which held a payphone. He had no idea what to do next.
Two strangers learn to fall in love again. I get the joy of rediscovering you.
Oh, girl, you stand by me. I'm forever yours, faithfully…
She wasn't sure what possessed her to do it.
One minute she was watching him from afar, trying to quieten her heartbreak as she watched him wipe his tear-stained face…the next she was out of the car and beside him so fast that he didn't even notice.
He didn't look up. His face was still buried in his hands, his shoulders hunched up. They weren't shaking, but she knew it was the sob-starved cries that hurt the most.
She sat down quietly beside him. She pulled her knees to her chest and rested her chin on top of them.
"Oh Jumpy," she said softly, closing her hands tight into fists so she wouldn't reach out and touch. "I wish I could tell you how sorry I am."
He looked up then, startled, like a deer caught in headlights. She rummaged for her smile when he quickly dried his tears and sat up straight, sniffing and looking somewhere between embarrassed and utterly bewildered.
"You…Kanny...I…." but he didn't say anything else, at least nothing coherent. Instead, he pulled her into his arms.
She was alarmed for just a second, because she hadn't anticipated this. All it took was one sniff of him-and he smelt like home to her-for her to give in and wrap her arms around his neck.
Neither of them spoke, but they were both crying so hard it was practically impossible anyway.
"Akane," a voice above them said. "I thought you were asleep."
Aoi stood in front of them, a plastic bag filled with food in one hand, but Akane didn't process that because Junpei was still clinging tightly to her own.
"Can-can y-you wait in the car?" she managed to choke out, her brain screaming things like this is what it forgiveness feels like and this could have been your future, instead of your goodbye.
Aoi shot her a look that had 'bad idea' written all over it, but he sighed and did as requested.
She turned her attention back to Junpei.
"You're here," he mumbled, stroking her hair. "You're really here."
Akane shut her eyes tightly to squeeze out the last of her tears. "I really wish I could stay here forever."
Junpei gave her a small smile. "I don't think Sant-Uh, Aoi would appreciate waiting in the car that long."
She laughed, and then she started to cry again. "I don't deserve you being so nice to me."
"I don't deserve to not get a chance to prove to you that that's bullshit."
"You'll never understand," Akane whispered. "It would be so much easier if you would just hate me."
"I'll never hate you," Junpei said softly, wiping away her tears with his thumb. "I'll love you, even when you don't want me to. I'll love you forever, and I'll spend my life chasing after you if I have to."
Akane shook her head. "Don't do that. I don't want you to waste any more time on me."
Junpei started at her, and in that moment she was sure he could see straight into her soul. All the lies; all the hurt; all the truth. "Kanny," he said, and God she loved the way he said her name, "Do you really think, for one single second, that I see it as a waste?"
"I love you," she said, in the same moment he did. They both giggled; children again for a few seconds, caught up in a moment so unimaginable they surpassed their wildest dreams.
Without giving it even a second thought, Akane moved closer. She tilted her head and for the first time, she let him kiss her.
I'm still yours. I'm still yours…I'm forever yours…faithfully.
Junpei awoke with a start. His heart was racing in his chest; he could still feel Akane in his arms.
Except she wasn't. He was still in the backseat of the car. He looked outside. The sun was beginning to rise.
He touched his fingers to his lips-he could still feel the ghost of Kanny's on his. Had it been a dream?
No. No. He'd felt every second of it. It had been real…it had to have been.
But it wouldn't matter, anyway, when he found her. There would be a thousand more kisses; a thousand more 'I love you's.' A thousand more chances to make her stay.
He'd never let her go, no matter how long it took to find her again.