Work Text:
"Now that he's left, we can get started with this." Max grumbled, settling on the couch, holding up his microphone.
George and Lando eyed each other warily, choosing (strategically) to let Max sit in the middle, taking a seat on either side of him on the press conference couch.
"Right...moving on, then." George said cheerfully, clapping his hands, smiling at the other journalists. He got a few questions about the Mercedes engine in his car and how fast it was, Lando got a few questions about the Mercedes engine in his car and how slow it was, and everyone eyed Max as if he was a bomb about to blow at any moment.
"No, we are not cheating, the loophole we found is entirely usable." George explained for the nth time, causing Max to roll his eyes. "That's what he says, wait until the investigation comes back." Max said, snorting, hoping the Ferraris and Mercedes would be nuked, or that the regulations as a whole would be nuked.
George and Lando swap another look while Max leans back on the couch, tipping his head back and putting his microphone down.
"So, Max, are you excited to race at Suzuka?" One of the journalists finally asked, deciding to keep the question on the straight and narrow, entirely about racing.
"Uhh, yes, the circuit has always been good to us and it's, you know, it's different than most circuits. Think the aero will be more important than the engine, so, you know, bigger chance for me to get P1."
He paused, knowing how unrealistic that was, and added, "With maybe Charles, if the Ferrari is good with the aero." He smiled, pleased with himself, since that seemed more feasible. The obvious implication (to him) was that Lewis could take out the Mercedes' and Isack would be P3, so he didn't bother saying the rest of it.
This time, everyone silently rolled their eyes - Max randomly bringing up Charles was a common occurrence, but most of the media was just glad that Max seemed to be smiling. They all remembered his 'Mad Max' era...at least he wasn't threatening to headbutt anyone.
Before Max could start explaining the benefits of the circuit, a reporter thankfully stepped in, asking Lando how he felt about Oscar being the fastest in one of the practice sessions.
"I'm very happy for Osc, I'm just hoping he can start a race and then I'm sure we'll perform well. Hopefully the engine will get over it's reliability issues." Lando said, smiling, pleased as a peach to be talking about Oscar's achievements.
After George answered a question about how proud he was over Kimi's P1 in China and how Mercedes was a family and that they were going to be fine even if both of them looked like championship contenders and that team orders were not going to be a thing - really, how many times were they trying to pit him against Kimi?
"You know, Toto has dealt with his drivers both being championship contenders, and we'll have the same rules in place - race each other as if we're rivals, but if we crash each other out, we have to split the bill for the repairs. And, uh...neither Kimi nor I wish to pay millions to repair damages, so we'll stick to clean driving."
Max perked up (again) at the mention of Kimi, sitting up slightly. The only times he properly sat up for extended periods were when he was talking to Charles, but since that wasn't an option, he was happy to talk about Kimi and driving. He launched into a full analysis of Kimi's driving towards the end of the China GP.
"Kimi's defence in China was really good, he kept you blocked the entire time, Russel, after he got race lead he wasn't willing to give it up. The rookies - well, ex-rookies and Arvid - seem very promising. Bearman managed to get in points too, and Arvid scored in points in his first race, so Formula One is being left in some very good hands. If Mercedes keep dominating, I won't be surprised if Kimi claims a World Championship along with Russel soon. Of course, a dominant car isn't enough, you need to be a good, passionate driver too."
That last bit, he knew from personal experience. The Red Bull had been entirely dominant in '23, with him scoring enough points to win both the WDC and WCC by himself, with Checo basically never outqualifying him. The same thing could be said of Valtteri during Mercedes' domination in the 2010s, he was never as competitive as Lewis.
Before Max could continue, George cut back in. "I'm more worried about the Ferraris, both Lewis and Charles seem ready to take P1, especially with how fast they start." He added, hoping Max would stop talking about each driver as if he was some fanboy who memorised each footballer's stats, and talking about Charles instead, which might be better.
"Speaking of Charles, do you think he agrees with you on these regulations, Max? He mentioned overtaking being like the mushroom in Mario Kart, and he filmed a video replacing his steering wheel with a Mario Kart console, on the back of your statements comparing the new regulations to Mario Kart." A journalist asked, prompting a laugh from Max.
Which lead to a minute of pure silence, because, what in the world? Max Verstappen does not giggle during press conferences.
"Yes, I think Charles is, you know, trying not to offend anyone, but I think he agrees with me. Besides, we've been racing together so long, we race similarly, I think, and we have a lot of fun when we can race each other, which we haven't been able to do in...some years." He said, smiling, setting his mic back down.
Max was just glad he got to complain about these regulations - how dare the FIA try to silence him by cutting out bits in which he was explaining the problems with them? "Recently, I think, Charles mentioned being quick on the turns and overtaking, but losing all speed on the straights because of the battery management. Honestly, the point of the sport is to go as fast as possible, our top speed has been halved and everything is about battery management." He added, rolling his eyes.
George glanced at Lando again, this time for support, since he didn't like the implication of his wins only being due to the car or battery management. Max, who picked up on it, paused, before adding, "Of course, George and Kimi's wins are hard fought, but the problems still exist."
Before Max could start talking about how Formula One is not carbon neutral - hey fly from Europe to the UAE and back and then to America or about how it's just because of the money and the sponsors, why can't I just drive my car? which would definitely get someone fired, a reporter interrupted with, "So, Max, how did you spend the break between China and Japan? We all saw your modelling that Alpha Tauri released recently."
Max rolled his eyes - again? They were asking him questions not related to racing again? But he supposed it could be worse, they could be asking him about someone he was spotted with in a bar or something.
"Uh, yes. I did a photoshoot. I think, uhhh...Charles also did one recently, with the, uh red background and the..." He trailed off, not wanting to expose himself for how much he's stared at that photoshoot. His own was very boring - he was literally wearing beige for crying out loud - But Charles'...Charles in that white muscle shirt and black leather pants, showing off the cute little waist he loved to hold during podiums. And the pictures where he looks like he's staring up at someone, or with his cheek against a wall or something...god, he looked so perfect.
George really had to resist the urge to say something snarky at that, because, really? Of course Max remembered that, out of everything that happened on break. Lando chose that moment to jump in, having spent a while day dreaming about Oscar's driving.
"Well, over the break, Oscar and I adopted. We have a baby tamogotchi...I think that's what it's called? We're taking very good care of it and it's been thriving so far." He said, smiling, running a hand through his hair.
"We're all having adventures with animals, I guess. I mean, we released our...'wolf merch', as the fans have lovingly dubbed it-" George started, but was interrupted by a snort from Max, who looked away, looking as innocent as a baby. "-As I was saying, and our front wing has been changed to match. Kimi and I spent ages trying it on, which I think is the most important modelling that was going on."
"Oh yes, we all saw Toto grumbling at you while you modelled, an Kimi's T-posing." Max remarked, leaning back against the couch again, staring up at the ceiling of the room. "And your new race suits are...really something else, Russel."
"They weren't my decision..." George whispered quietly, rolling his eyes, wishing (not for the first time) that Lando was the one in the middle, not Max, so he could be a barrier between him and the Dutchman. He didn't know what possessed Kimi to take Max on as a grid parent, nor why Charles put up with him.
It was a mystery why Kimi got on so well with Max, but he'd put up with it, even if he didn't enjoy it.
After that, the FIA decided to wrap up the conference, lest Max return to complaining about the regulations - something he'd been doing since they'd been announced in 2022.