Work Text:
Letter 1
It has been a month since your funeral. How is the end dimension? Is the afterlife nice? I’m not sure why I’m writing to you. You’re never going to see this. Perhaps it’s because Parker gave me your letters a week ago. He told me that you didn’t send them. And that you would want me to have them. I don’t think you would want me to read them. I don’t think it’s good for me to read your letters, Jude. You didn’t send them to me. Why didn’t you send them? I will not read them. I should head straight to the nether, burn your letters in the lava – but I didn’t. I couldn’t do it.
Letter 2
Dear Jude,
I can’t help it. I’m curious. I sat on those letters until today. I asked Cow how to write a letter. He seemed surprised, but he also relieved that I’m finally talking.
What should I say? I should tell you about your funeral. The whole server turned up. It was raining, but I think Tai set the weather intentionally. Parker picked chorus flowers for you. End flowers. He said you would like them. I disagree. You never liked flowers. They’re not practical. You’re also allergic to them. Don’t think I didn’t notice you sneezing whenever we pass by Trapper’s Forest. But I didn’t say it. He asked if I would like to give a eulogy. I had to look it up. Then, I declined. I don’t think I’m the right person to do so. We have not spoken in so long, and you would probably prefer Parker to do it. So, he did. I didn’t tear up. I didn’t say anything. A lot of people gave me their condolences – even more than they gave to Parker. I’m fine. They keep looking at me and expecting me to talk – expecting what exactly? There isn’t anything to say. We were teammates, and then we weren’t. And then, you died.
Your ex-teammate,
Sharp
Letter 3
Dear Jude,
Time flies when you’re not around. I walk around the server. Nobody wants to fight me. Everyone tiptoes around me. It’s boring. Parker moved out of spawn, Tai went back to the shieldless duo base. Twirps has been keeping me busy, teaching me how to build automatic farms. The pirates gave me books to read and told me it’ll help. Help with what? I’m not sure.
Sometimes, I jump at noises. Sometimes, I think I hear your light footsteps, maybe even the click of pressure plates, and the pull of pistons. I hear you near spawn. I don’t hang around spawn anymore. I don’t believe you’re gone. It feels like you’re just avoiding me. It reminds me of that week when I betrayed you – when you refused to be around me. I’m only on your second letter, Jude. I know that letter about my betrayal is coming soon. And I don’t want to read it.
Your ex-teammate,
Sharp
Letter 4
Dear Jude,
I would never forget about our training session. You did good. I believe that you would have reached my level if you had spent all that time on redstone on practicing instead. You give yourself too much pressure. You’re always hard on yourself. If I recall, you didn’t sleep at all before Twirps’s event. You were checking your traps over and over again. I had to drag you back to our base and sit at your door while you slept. You joked that I should join you on the bed. You laughed at my reaction. Now I’m starting to think you weren’t joking at all.
Your ex-teammate,
Sharp
Letter 5
You’re not dead.
You’re still alive.
It’s a cruel joke you’re playing on me. Fine. You win. I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry that I betrayed you. I’m sorry that I blew up our base. I’m sorry that I spawned those withers. There. Now I’ve said it. Come back. I will even apologise to your stupid face and your stupid bunny ears. Come back to spawn.
Come back to me.
Letter 6
YOU KNOW WHAT?
I HATE YOU TOO. FUCK YOU. You say that my betrayal hurts. This is a thousand times worse. I wished I never met you.
You left me.
How could you do this to me?
I don’t believe you hate me. You know that our team up meant everything to me. Though you know I’m not good with these things. I hate that you died in such a stupid way. I hate that I didn’t have time to say goodbye. I didn’t have time to tell you –
It doesn’t matter.
You don’t care anymore.
You’re dead.
Letter 7
Dear Jude,
I’ve changed my armour trims to purple. You’re wrong. I like purple more than red.
I wish I could talk to you, too.
Sharp
Letter 8
Dear Jude,
I’m not good with words. I have never thought to be vulnerable.
So, here it goes.
I’m sorry. I would say in a hundred times to your face if I could. But I can’t. You have gone somewhere that I cannot go. Why did I betray? Some days I wonder why I did it. I suppose, I was always scared. It sounds dumb. I can hear you laughing at me. I’m scared, Jude. Scared that you would have left. Scared that I wasn’t the teammate you wanted. Scared that I wasn’t good enough. That you would leave me. In the end, you did leave. I just made it happen sooner than I wanted.
What I wouldn’t do for a few more moments with you. But, if I’m being honest, even if you gave me more time, I still wouldn’t be able to tell you.
XOXO,
Sharp
P.S. Parker is a prick. He finally told me what XOXO really means. But I’m not striking it out.
Letter 9
Dear Jude,
I fell into one of your traps today. I didn’t die – because it was broken. You’re always the one maintaining your traps. Parker doesn’t know about this one. Because you built it for me, Jude. Do you remember? I do. I fixed it up. The way that you showed me how – when I had asked, when we were teamed. I think you humoured me then. You always humour me.
Thinking of you,
Sharp
Letter 10
Dear Jude,
There aren’t any more letters from you. I’ve read them all. Send me a sign. Anything. I would even settle for the ground to open up, and I’ll gladly fall into another one of your traps again. You mention that you believe I fall for your traps intentionally. You were right. I’ll fall into as many as you want. Anything to hear your voice again.
Missing you Missing your traps,
Sharp
Letter 11
Dear Jude,
I went to the end dimension, hoping to find you. But I see now that it is not possible. My elytra broke, and I was stranded. Twirps had to come and rescue me. I didn’t tell him this – so, just between you and me – if he didn’t find me, I wouldn’t have mind.
I’m trying to move on. But Jude, the ghost of you is everywhere. It is right at spawn, where your base is, preserved in time. It is in the redstone and signs that litter the entire server. It is under my skin, where I want to remember your touch.
Blame my rambling on the books I’ve read. The pirates were right – the books were helpful. There is one I’ve read with a happy ending. It’s a children’s book – about a rabbit and a cat. Those idiots took forever to realise what they had. I wish that was us.
Your teammate,
Sharp
Letter 12
Dear Jude,
This will be the last letter I write. I’m sorry. I’m sorry that we did not have a happy ending. I think that if we had been more honest with each other, maybe it would not come to this. After all this time, Jude, I’ve realised that I’ve liked your presence, that I enjoy when you trap me, because it means that you’re thinking about me. And I like that you think of me.
So. What now? These letters should not be for others. It’s for us. The possibilities that are no longer achievable for us. I’m going to the nether. I’ll burn my letters. I hope that they will reach you, where I would hopefully never go for a long while. And when we are finally reunited – maybe, just maybe – we can talk about us.
With love,
Sharp